The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf

by Martin Millar

  Sarapen changed into his werewolf shape and charged. One of the soldiers swung his meldrava, and a ball of white fire the size of a fist hurtled toward him. Sarapen leaped to avoid the attack and the ball of fire exploded violently on the wall behind him, shearing off a great slab of marble, which crashed to the floor. Sarapen felt an intense heat as another flaming sphere flew over his shoulder. Then he crashed into his attackers, biting and slashing with his claws, pulling all three of them to the ground. There was a furious struggle and when Sarapen sprang to his feet, only one of the soldiers did likewise. Two lay still on the floor, badly wounded or dead.

  Sarapen snarled savagely, and laughed. “You’re no match for me!” He leaped forward, striking the solider and snatching his meldrava from him. At that moment the corridor erupted in flames and he was thrown off his feet as a huge explosion engulfed them. Sarapen found himself flat on his back staring up at the sky. The explosion had blown a hole in the palace wall, flinging Sarapen out into space. He twisted in the air as he fell. Fortunately for the werewolf, the corridor had been only one floor up, and it was not far to the courtyard below. He landed on four legs like a cat, then sprinted into the darkness of a recess in the wall. Behind him there was shouting as the soldiers came after him in pursuit.

  Sarapen found himself facing a small wooden door. He kicked it open and ran into another courtyard, one he’d never seen before.

  “Sarapen MacRinnalch?”

  He was shocked to find himself addressed. He whirled to face the person who’d spoken. It was a young woman, a Hainusta wearing the garb of a palace servant.

  “What—” he began.

  “Don’t speak. No time. Queen Malveria sends you this jeweled mirror of travel, at the request of Dominil MacRinnalch. When the last ray of sunlight touches the top of the volcano, you can use it to bridge the dimensions.”

  The Hainusta woman thrust a small oblong mirror into Sarapen’s hand. Without another word, she turned and hurried out of the courtyard. Sarapen stared at the mirror. Behind him the shouting was growing louder as the soldiers poured out of the palace. No longer so keen to sell his life dearly, having a means of escape, Sarapen fled from the courtyard, disappearing into a maze of small passageways that ran through the servants’ quarters.

  When the last ray of sunlight touches the top of the volcano. How long was that? Sarapen wasn’t sure. He hurried on through the servants’ corridors, looking for somewhere he could hide from his pursuers, preferably a place where he could observe the Eternal Volcano, and then take his chance at freedom.

  CHAPTER 150

  In the early hours of the morning, a fairy rose from Colburn Woods. She had unusually pale skin, very dark wings, and she was partially hidden by a shadow that enveloped her tiny form. She drifted on the breeze for a little while, enjoying the feeling of the cold air on her wings. When the wind pushed her toward the west, in the direction of Castle MacRinnalch, she lifted up her head and laughed.

  “Werewolves. I’ve never cared for them much.”

  Teinn, bringer of ill health, flew toward the castle. It was further away than human eyes could see, but Teinn’s vision was sharper than any human. It was sharper than an eagle’s; she could already see a few werewolves entering the castle through the postern gate, MacRinnalchs who’d been hunting at night, returning before the sun rose.

  Teinn flew rapidly, still chuckling to herself. It was rare that Teinn was allowed to come here. Normally the Fairy Queen kept her well away from Castle MacRinnalch, knowing the harm she might do. Even now, Teinn’s mission was strictly limited. She was permitted to make Markus sick, and that was all. Queen Dithean had explicitly forbidden her to do anything else. Teinn smiled. She’d been to Castle MacRinnalch more often than the Fairy Queen knew, and seen things there that the Fairy Queen didn’t know about. She was sure she could find something else to do.

  She skimmed over the rough, heather-covered moor, thinking back to the time she’d observed a great fight in front of the gates. She’d watched from high above as Markus MacRinnalch heroically struggled against the huge Wallace MacGregor. Teinn remembered the MacRinnalchs on the battlements, cheering Markus as he emerged victorious. She laughed again. Her dark wings beat faster as she approached the castle and she rose in the air before swooping down over the high wall. She hovered above the central courtyard, invisible in the gloom. A few werewolves moved quietly around below her.

  Teinn scanned the dark stone internal walls of the castle. She sensed Markus’s presence in the east wing. She flew quickly to the window outside and landed on the stone ledge. The fairy peered inside. The glass was old and cloudy but Teinn’s vision was such that she could see inside the room quite clearly. Markus was asleep in a great wooden bed. Teinn was surprised to see two women, one on each side of him. The fairy laughed, very amused. That was a sight she hadn’t expected.

  Teinn put her lips to the window and breathed on it. The lock clicked and she pulled the window open a few inches, enough to let her tiny frame squeeze through. The early dawn light outside had not yet penetrated the stone chamber but Teinn could make out every detail of Markus and his two lovers, entwined together in sleep. Her dark wings flapped as she flew down to perch on Markus’s forehead. Markus didn’t react, but when the fairy bent over his face and placed her lips on his mouth to kiss him, he moaned quietly, as if troubled in his sleep.

  “Am fiabhras-clèibhe,” whispered the fairy, which was Gaelic for “pneumonia.”

  She fluttered to the top of the headboard, pleased with herself. “You won’t be going anywhere for a while, Thane Markus. But you’ll survive the illness, probably.”

  The fairy looked at Markus’s partners. Silly werewolves, she thought. I’d make you sick as well if the Queen allowed me.

  She flew back down onto the bed, landing next to Heather MacAllister. She put her lips close to Heather’s ear, and whispered, “When Markus MacRinnalch defeated Wallace MacGregor, his mother had secretly poisoned Wallace before the fight.”

  Teinn hopped over to the other side of the bed and whispered the same into Beatrice MacRinnalch’s ear. She smiled with satisfaction, then flew out of the window, not bothering to close it behind her. Next to the great gates of the castle there was a guardroom, and beside that a small barrack room for the guards. Teinn paused as she flew above, then flew into the guardroom where three werewolves were sleeping. She whispered the same thing in the ears of each of them: “When Markus MacRinnalch defeated Wallace MacGregor, his mother had secretly poisoned Wallace before the fight.”

  Satisfied with her actions, Teinn rose high above the castle. The sun was now rising, sending shafts of light onto the battlements. Teinn looked back across the moors toward the Colburn Woods. She wondered about staying at the castle to do more mischief, but decided against it. The sun would soon be up, and Teinn was not as keen on daylight as the rest of the fairies in the wood. She headed home, pleased with her work. It had been an enjoyable visit to Castle MacRinnalch for the fairy who brought ill health and misfortune, and was always covered in shadow.

  CHAPTER 151

  On the evening before the attack, Kalix was alone in her room, making herself ready. It didn’t take long. She made sure she had some money, her phone and a small plastic container of laudanum secreted in an inside pocket. She put on her coat.

  “I’m ready to go.”

  She had the feeling that perhaps there was something else she should have done. For such a momentous enterprise, it felt like there should be longer preparations. Kalix shrugged. There was nothing else to do. With the battle approaching, she was feeling unusually calm. She sat on her bed and looked around her room. Kalix didn’t really expect that she’d be coming back.

  It’s been good living here.

  Kalix had a moment of clarity in which she saw her life before she’d met Daniel and Moonglow, and her life after. Moving into their flat had been a great improvement. Not just in comfort; she’d made friends, which she’d never expected to do.


  Daniel and Moonglow have been nice to me, Kalix thought, smiling to herself. So has Vex.

  The young werewolf frowned. She had been planning on slipping out of the house without telling anyone where she was going. Now she wondered if that was a bad thing to do.

  If I don’t come back, they’ll think I didn’t like them enough to say goodbye.

  The thought troubled Kalix. She didn’t want to appear ungrateful. She remembered when she’d first moved in, and she’d kept being sick, and violent, and hostile.

  I wonder why they even put up with me.

  Kalix felt more and more uncomfortable at the thought of leaving without saying anything. But if I tell them it will be worse, she reasoned. What am I going to say? I’m off to attack the Guild, I probably won’t be back? Then they’ll be even more upset. They’ll try and stop me going.

  Kalix didn’t think she could face the unpleasant scene. She tried not to think about it. There were still some hours left till she was due to leave. All the other werewolves would be at Thrix’s flat by now but Kalix wasn’t meeting them there. She planned to sit in a pub near Gloucester Place, then arrive at the hotel just before the attack began. That way it would be too late for any of the others to object to her presence.

  Kalix picked up Vex’s crayons again. She’d been trying to copy one of Manny’s pictures from memory but it hadn’t worked out well. She abandoned it and picked up another sheet of paper. She remembered the night that Daniel, Vex and Moonglow had appeared in her room to cheer her up. They’d all perched on the bed together, watching anime. Kalix smiled. That had been good. She tried to draw a picture of the four of them, sitting on the bed. She applied herself to the task, just to pass the time. Once more, without really noticing that she was doing it, Kalix slipped between her human form and her werewolf form as she worked, drawing fine details with her hands and vigorous blocks of background shading with her werewolf paws.

  Eventually she heard noises downstairs. Her flatmates were all home.

  I should have bought them a present, she thought suddenly. Like a going-away present.

  Kalix felt bad. They had all given her presents in the past. She wished she’d thought of it earlier. It was too late now; it would soon be time for her to leave. Quite abruptly, she came to a decision.

  I shouldn’t go off without telling anyone. If it causes a big scene, I’ll just have to cope with it. It won’t matter in a few hours anyway.

  Kalix walked out of her room. She hesitated for a second at the top of the stairs then descended quickly. Her three flatmates were all watching TV.

  “I’ve got something to tell you,” said Kalix.

  Daniel looked up from the television. “Yes?”

  “I’m going out soon to . . . I’m . . .” Kalix struggled to find the right words. “The werewolf clan is going on a mission.”

  Moonglow swiftly muted the TV. “A mission?”

  “Yes. A big mission.”

  “You mean dangerous?”

  “Yes, dangerous. There’s going to be fighting. It’s something the MacRinnalchs have to do. I know you won’t want me to go and you’re probably going to argue, but it’s no use. It’s my duty to the clan. And anyway, I want to go.” Kalix felt her mouth going dry. “I just wanted to tell you before I left,” she mumbled.

  Kalix’s announcement caught her friends by surprise. They’d been expecting a peaceful evening.

  “Can’t you not go?” said Moonglow.

  “No. I have to. I want to.”

  “Is it really dangerous?” asked Daniel.

  “Yes. But I’ll be OK.”

  “Don’t go,” said Vex. “I don’t want you to go.”

  “Neither do I,” said Moonglow.

  Kalix moved toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” asked Daniel. “Where’s the mission?”

  “I can’t tell you that,” said Kalix. “And you can’t get involved.”

  “Don’t go,” said Moonglow.

  “I have to go now. It was nice that you let me live here. Thanks.” Kalix looked down and found that she was holding a piece of paper in her hand.

  “Look, I drew a picture of us sitting on my bed, watching cartoons.”

  Kalix thrust the paper into Moonglow’s hand and then hurried out the front door. She ran down the steps, pleased that it was over. There hadn’t been nearly as bad an argument as she’d anticipated, but it had still been excruciating. Moonglow had looked anguished.

  In the living room, Moonglow looked at the picture Kalix had drawn with Vex’s crayons.

  “That’s a really good picture.” She burst into tears.

  “Well, this is no good,” said Daniel. “Kalix suddenly tells us she’s going on a dangerous mission and we’re just meant to sit here and let her go?”

  “What can we do?” said Vex.

  “I’ve no idea,” admitted Daniel.

  “Kalix said we couldn’t get involved,” said Vex.

  “We’re not letting her go and get killed without doing something about it!” said Moonglow, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

  “I agree,” said Daniel.

  “Me too,” added Vex. “What should we do?”

  “Where is this mission?” said Moonglow. “Someone must know. Vex, would Malveria know?”

  Vex shrugged. “Maybe. Aunt Malvie usually knows what Thrix is doing.”

  “Then go to the palace and find out everything.”

  “OK,” said Vex. She disappeared from view, dematerializing in a businesslike manner. There was a crash in the kitchen.

  “I went the wrong way! But I’m all right! I’m leaving again now!”

  Vex departed.

  “I can’t believe Kalix thinks she can just go and get killed and expect us to do nothing!” said Moonglow.

  “Absolutely. It’s ridiculous.” Daniel paused. “What exactly are you planning?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “If it involves a load of werewolf hunters with guns, for instance, there’s no point us just charging in and getting shot.”

  “No one is getting shot!”

  Daniel hoped not. He didn’t share Moonglow’s confidence. It had always been in the back of his mind that living with a werewolf who had enemies was liable to get him into serious trouble at some point.

  CHAPTER 152

  Kalix sat on the top floor of the 159 bus, making the slow journey from Kennington to the center of town, staring vacantly out the window. It had now turned cold and condensation formed on the inside of the glass. She rubbed the window with her sleeve, clearing a patch to look through. The streets outside looked damp and gray.

  Someone sitting nearby was listening to music. Kalix found it vaguely annoying. A rather large person sat down beside her, squashing her up against the window. Kalix might have been annoyed, but instead saw some humor in the situation. Here she was, suffering the common problems of commuting on a bus, while on her way to a deadly battle. She supposed it was probably quite normal to be uncomfortable on your way to battle. She didn’t mind. The prospect of fighting had made her calm. Her phone rang. It was Dominil.

  “Where are you?”

  “On a bus, on the way to the hotel.”

  “Don’t go. There’s a problem.”

  “What problem?”

  “Come to Thrix’s flat instead.”

  Dominil rang off, leaving Kalix puzzled. Why would Dominil want her to go to Thrix’s flat? Wasn’t that where the other attackers were gathering? Surely she wouldn’t be welcome? Kalix didn’t know what to make of it. She got off the bus as soon as it crossed the river, then walked down into Westminster tube station. Sloane Square was only a few stops along the line. A busker was singing and playing guitar at the entrance as she emerged. Kalix had some loose change in her pocket. She dropped it into the hat he’d placed on the ground, thinking that she probably wouldn’t be needing it any more.

  When she arrived at the apartment block, Dominil buzzed her in and was waiting for her upstairs a
t Thrix’s front door.

  “What’s happened?”

  “The attack is off,” said Dominil.

  “No it isn’t,” said Thrix, behind her.

  Dominil closed the door. “We can’t do it now.”

  “We haven’t finished discussing it,” said Thrix.

  Thrix was wearing a pair of trousers that looked like a fashion designer’s take on a military style.

  “What’s happened?” asked Kalix.

  “Markus is sick,” said Dominil. “Quite badly. He’s got pneumonia.”

  “What? How?”

  “I don’t know,” said Dominil. “Pneumonia usually only affects people in poor health. I’ve never heard of a healthy werewolf coming down with it before. Doctor Angus says he’ll recover but he’s going to be in bed for a week or two.”

  Kalix sat down heavily. It was a strange piece of news. Sickness among the MacRinnalchs was rare.

  “Why can’t we do the attack? Can’t someone come in Markus’s place?” she asked.

  “Everyone has pulled out,” said Thrix, angrily. “The barons have recalled their men. We don’t have an attack force any more.”