Stormy's Thunder: Satan's Devils MC Utah

by Manda Mellett

  “Stormy, I’ll need to sedate her again before she hurts herself.”

  Now there’s more than one man holding me down, a prick in my arm, and darkness descends once again.

  Next time I’m aware of anything, it’s two people talking. It’s Finn’s voice, I’m sure. At least his ghost hasn’t left me. But the other, speaking in clipped tones, in a British accent, is a voice I remember. She was the devil who’d pretended she’d come to save me.

  Again, making no sign I’m awake, I listen carefully.

  “I don’t know what to do, Swift.” He sounds agonised.

  “She needs time, Stormy. Christ, that place where she was kept… I’m not going to lie to you, it was bad.”

  “She must have fought,” Finn replies, his voice breaking.

  The woman snorts. “You think? Yeah, the bruises on her face, the lash marks on her back. She didn’t give in easily.”

  “Tell me he’s dead, Swift.”

  “Already told you that.”

  “Tell me you cut off his dick and fed it to him.”

  The woman barks a soft laugh. “I would have, but we had no time for such pleasures. I gutted him, Stormy. Best I could do in the time frame.”

  “I should have been there.”

  “Maybe,” Swift replies. “But she was in pain and terrified. She might have been the same with you. We had to sedate her, we’d have never got out otherwise.”

  Finn chuckles softly. “She do that?”

  Swift again does that unladylike snort. “Yeah, she got a lick in. Maybe I should teach her some self-defence. She’s certainly got the basics down.”

  She’d teach me to fight? That doesn’t sound like anything the master would allow.

  “She was still out of it when you got here. What the fuck did you give her?”

  “We thought it would be better keeping her under until she was back. I was in communication with Doc, I knew what I was doing.”

  “She was out of it when she came around just now. She freaked when Doc came in.”

  “Give her time, Stormy. That’s what she needs. It’s a lot for her to process. She’s been ripped away from her life, sold, abused, and now she’s back. It will take a while for her to feel safe.”

  My face starts to throb whereas last time I awoke I felt no pain. My back feels sore. Can I believe the words I’m hearing? I’m a nurse, I know a sedative could have dulled the pain. Are my ears working properly? Am I really safe?

  Chancing opening my eyes, I turn to the side so I can stare at Finn. He looks such a mess it’s hard to believe he didn’t die. Then, I turn the other way. I don’t remember seeing her before, but the purple bruise on her cheek would suggest that I have if I can believe what I just heard.

  Noticing me looking at her, she smiles. “Welcome back.”

  “Cat?” I feel the bed dip, and turning back see Finn’s out of his wheelchair, bracing the arm that’s not in a cast on the mattress and leaning over me. “Cat? It’s me, Finn.”

  His hand hovers over my face, but I turn away.

  “Cat, I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.” I turn back, swallowing. “This is because of what I did for Weston.”

  “Nah, sweetheart. It happened because Gun found me with you.”

  At last I realise I’m in the land of the living. And that Finn is too. I gaze at him in wonder. “I thought you were dead. He told me you were. He kicked you to prove it.”

  Finn winces, but it’s Swift who answers. “Technically he did die, Cat. Twice. But nothing can keep his stubborn ass down.”

  He died?

  I turn to look at him in time to see him scowl at Swift. “I’m here, now,” he tells me, reaching again for my hand. But once again I pull it away, without even knowing why.

  Could it be I blame him after all? But if I hadn’t met him, I’d already be dead. But not subjected to this living hell and memories I’ll never be able to get out of my mind. Or, is it because I feel so damn dirty? Or pre-empting his inevitable desire to walk away once he knows the kind of things that I’d done, more rightly what had been done to me.

  His face hardens, and he glares at his hand before lifting it away from me once more.

  I try to shift position, but wince.

  Swift stands. “I’ll go get the doctor. You may need more painkillers now.”

  “I’m okay,” I say fast. I can’t have a strange man in the room, not when I freaked earlier. And certainly not one who’d want to poke and prod me during an examination.

  “Cat,” Swift sits back down, her features softening, “Doc’s asked a colleague of his to step in. He thought you’d be more comfortable with a woman. Can I go get her now?”

  A short time ago I was imprisoned, without any control of my own. Then I truly believed I must have died. Now, it seems I’m very much alive, and I appreciative for once, it appears I’m being given options.

  “I’ll see the doctor,” I agree at last. My eyes follow Swift as she gets up and leaves the room.

  “Don’t worry,” Finn says quietly. “I’ll stay here with you, Cat. I’m not leaving you.”

  Widening my eyes, I violently shake my head. “No, Finn. I don’t want you to hear what the doctor says.” He can’t stay. There’s no way I want him to hear the questions I’m going to ask. He knows the headlines, that’s enough for anyone to deal with. The detail is something I’ll have to cope with by myself.

  “You need me with you,” he insists.

  “In that case, send the doctor away. I’m not talking to her in front of you.” Can I insist? I always thought I had control over my destiny until it was taken by three men. Weston, then Gun, then the man who introduced himself as my master.

  I hadn’t realised my voice had gone shrill, but Finn’s backed away. “Hey, I don’t mean to upset you. I just thought you’d like my support.”

  I force myself to be calm. “You’ll support me better by not staying.” I try to sound firm, hiding that inside I’m screaming like a little girl. It will break him to know what’s happened to me, hell, I can barely deal with it myself. “Where am I?” I ask, suddenly realising something is amiss. If a doctor’s on standby, should I be in a hospital? Not that I’m grateful I’m not, it suggests that my thoughts of a little while ago were way off the mark and I’m not in danger of dying.

  “You’re at the clubhouse.” His lips press together. “We brought Doc to treat you here. But if he thinks you need a hospital, that’s where you’ll go.”

  “Are you alright, Finn?” I belatedly ask, waving at his broken body. “Will you heal?”

  “Broken wrist, broken leg, cracked ribs and a fractured collarbone. I took a bump to the head and had a concussion, and I’ve a few nice scars including on my stomach where Gun went to town with his knife, but I’ll heal, babe. It’s you I’m worried about.”

  Because his injuries are all on the outside.

  An awkward silence comes over us.

  The door opens and Swift comes back in. “This is Doctor Mason.”

  “Do you want Swift to stay?” Finn asks.

  I shake my head. Swift goes to Finn’s wheelchair and pushes him away. I feel like a part of me has left the door with him.

  But now I’ve got to pull up my big girl panties. Before the doctor can ask anything, I get in first.

  “Doctor Mason, can I be tested for STDs, and…” I swallow hard, feeling tears fill my eyes. “Can I have a test to see if I’m pregnant?”

  32

  Stormy…

  I hate not being there while the doctor is talking to Cat. How can I know how to help her when I can only guess at what she’s been through? I hate relying on imagination which is bad enough, I’d prefer to deal in hard facts.

  At my direction, Swift silently pushes me to the comms room, and I take it from there, Wheeling myself over to a free workstation.

  What I’m going to do next is child’s play. Unfortunately, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

  “You sure
you want to do that?” Swift, holding a cup of her preferred tea is standing behind me.

  Normally I don’t try to justify myself, or explain my actions to anyone else. My modus operandi is to do whatever I fucking want, and what I want now is to get the information that I can’t do without. But that talk with Mace is going around my head on repeat. I have no idea how to deal with Cat, all I know is I want her in my life, and have no greater desire but to help heal her. How can I start without any idea what the bastards put her through?

  “I have to.” I pause the cursor on the screen, hovering over the club doctor’s medical report. “She won’t tell me, Swift. I know she won’t. She’ll keep it bottled up as if it’s only her that has to deal with it. How can I help her and how the fuck can I move forward myself, without knowing her triggers?”

  “How’s it going to affect you, Storm?” She pulls up a chair and sits next to me. “You love her, don’t you?”

  A simple nod suffices, while thinking how bizarre this is. A conversation about emotions was not one I’d ever have expected to have with Swift.

  “Well, fuck.” She gives a small smile. “You’re different since you came back.”

  “She grounds me,” I reply, simply. “It’s for her that I came back to the club. Not just to ask for help in her rescue, the decision had already been made. We were all packed up.” And thank Christ for that. Her beloved animals are being well cared for. “Cat made me see it was because I couldn’t make sense of anything that I cut everyone out. It was letting her in, admitting I needed her, that made me realise I needed you too.”

  “I presume you’re talking about the club, not me.” She winks.

  Despite the circumstances I smirk. “Even you, Swift.”

  “Loving Road has changed me,” she admits. The previous me would have scoffed, would have accused her of being weak. How can I now? When I understand only too well.

  “You’re softer, Swift. More approachable.” When she bristles, I add, “And just as fuckin’ dangerous.”

  “Threaten my man and you’re dead,” she confirms, voicing how I feel about the woman I love. “Which is why when we find Gun, I’ll make him wish he’d never been born.”

  I don’t tell her I want to do that myself. How could I, given my current physical limitations?

  “Waterboarding?” I might have picked up on some of the discussions about what she’d got up to in San Diego.

  “Oh, I can think of worse,” she promises earnestly. “This time it won’t matter if I leave marks.” She jerks her chin toward the monitor, returning to our previous topic. “You do this, you can’t take it back. Whatever you find, she might be hurt you invaded her privacy.”

  I hear what she says. “I’m out of my depth, Swift. We’ve rescued women before, but handed them over to the experts.”

  “Perhaps you ought to do that.”

  Maybe I’m not as changed as I’d like to think. Cat’s mine, and I want to be the one she leans on, not leave her to talk to an anonymous person. I need facts to formulate a plan of attack, even if the enemy is all in her head.

  Leaving the decision to me, Swift pats my shoulder, then gets up to leave.

  “Want a coffee, Storm?” Honor offers as he gets a beverage for himself.

  The mouse is still hovering over her file, but Swift is right. If I do this, there’s no going back, for a moment, I hesitate.

  So I accept his offer, and ask, “Got anything?” When he places the cup near my left hand, I reach for it, picking it up.

  “Would you believe communications between Smythe and Jeffrey Morgan?”

  I still, replacing the cup, my coffee forgotten. “Recent?”

  Honor looks self-satisfied as well he might. “Did you know Pip had a hand in getting Smythe away from the front line?”

  I give a sharp nod. “Pip told me, and that it happened before I met him.”

  The man I’d love to again be able to call brother shrugs. “Pip and your Admiral go way back.”

  And the admiral gave me Pip’s card, I kind of guessed it had to be something like that. “Have you evidence Smythe knew about Pip’s involvement?”

  “I think he does.”

  My eyes sharpen. “Was Smythe behind Swift’s kidnap? Was it him who wanted revenge on Pip rather than it being down to Kincaid?” If so, it seems flimsy, and I let Honor know why. Shaking my head dismissively I explain, “Too much time has passed. And Smythe wasn’t demoted, why the fuck should he care? He’s safer to himself and us working from behind a desk. I never felt he was comfortable in an active role.” Pausing a second for effect, I add with emphasis, and a barely suppressed shudder, “Gun hated me, Honor. He wanted to inflict maximum pain. I tried to hide what I felt about Cat, but he fuckin’ saw it.”

  “I think it’s safe to say you were supposed to die along with Pooh. You lived longer than he’d expected. Once he had a chance, he tried to rectify that.”

  “If he wanted me dead, why not come after me immediately?” I grimace. “I was in a bad place, Honor. There were easy ways to set something up to make it look like I swallowed a bullet.”

  Honor’s brow creases. “Back then, when you were kicked out, even if you knew something, Storm, how much would the word of a disgraced SEAL count for? It would have been put down to sour grapes. I’d venture that it was your presence in Cat’s house that made him presume you had something to do with his failure to take down Pip. That would have caused alarm bells to start ringing.” He gives a cold mirthless chuckle. “I’d also say you were lucky he hated you. Otherwise it would have been a simple headshot. Him wanting you to suffer kept you alive.”

  Gun had wanted me permanently out of the picture. But why? What threat was I then, and what threat am I now? Is there something I know of which I hadn’t realised the significance? Maybe just the suspicion I do would have been enough to justify in Gun’s eyes, a death sentence. One in which Cat was an innocent pawn, her only crime being caught up in my life, which lays her horrors firmly at my door.

  Honor takes pity on my damaged brain trying to work things out, my fingers rubbing at my temples gives away that my head’s aching. “I’ll keep looking, and I’ll let you know immediately if I find anything concrete.” Before he retakes his seat, Honor’s eyes soften. “I heard what Swift said, but I think you’re right. Cat will find it hard to open up. I don’t think you should tell her anything you find out, let her tell you herself. But as you said, being aware of her triggers could help you avoid them.”

  I place my left hand over the mouse, and move the cursor back to the file, hesitating only because I know once I open Pandora’s box I won’t be able to put the contents back.

  Clicking, I seal my fate.

  The doctor’s notes are succinct, short and to the point. As I read, I’m grateful Cat was sedated at the time he examined her. Vaginal tearing I kind of expected but it’s still hard to read. Bruising, that’s no shock either, but shit, the pain my woman must have felt. The next bit is harder, there’s anal damage as well, nothing that won’t heal, but even I had never taken her virgin ass. She’d been raped, repeatedly and violently. She’d been whipped, some gashes so deep they’d had to be stitched.

  I should have known it would come with the territory, but it’s the cold brief notes about testing for STDs and pregnancy that have me stumbling out of the wheelchair, grabbing the stick and somehow propelling myself out of the room to the nearest john. I only hold my vomit until I get there.

  “Brother,” Honor says hesitantly from behind me. “You had to have expected you wouldn’t be reading a fuckin’ fairy tale.”

  I flush, wipe my mouth on paper, and stand with the support of the wall. “I knew, but hadn’t accepted it. That’s why I needed to see it, Honor. She might be pregnant. I never thought of that.”

  “Is that what’s bothering you?”

  “It’s the whole fuckin’ thing, everything she’s having to deal with. I fuckin’ thought getting her back would be the end of it, but it’s just the be
ginning. I hate it all, Honor. I hate that she was raped, that she might have an STD. She doesn’t deserve this.”

  He stares at me for a moment. “You need to fuckin’ calm yourself before you see her. It’s not about you, Storm. I’d tell you to take a long ride on your bike to get your head on straight, but…” He doesn’t need to complete his sentence. I’m in no state to ride even if I had my bike here, which I don’t.

  My bike’s still back in Kentucky, or is if it hasn’t been stolen, along with everything Cat owns. The plan had been to move down here and find a house, renting to start with if we couldn’t find anything we wanted to buy immediately. Would that still even be in the cards? Or, will Cat want to hide and lick her wounds in private, and without me? Fuck, I hope not. If I’m right and her suffering was all down to me, how could she ever forgive me?

  “Stormy. Doctor Mason has gone.”

  I acknowledge Swift who seems to find nothing wrong in that she’s just invaded the men’s bathroom. “I’ve got to go see how she is.”

  “Here, let me.” Swift has helpfully brought the wheelchair along. She helps me into it, then takes the handles. She pushes me to the elevator and, having taken the keycard from her cut, slides it in and out of the slot. As the elevator begins to rise and the music I’m normally so accustomed to that I usually no longer notice plays. This time it irritates the fuck out of me.

  At last the doors open and Swift starts wheeling me along the corridor, stopping outside my door. “You got yourself under control?”

  I take a breath, appreciating the few seconds to calm myself. It’s Cat who’s important, not me. When I nod at Swift, she leaves.

  Leaning forward, I knock, listening out for permission to enter, but instead it’s opened. Cat’s standing there, whether she knows it or not, she’s wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of my sweatpants which drown her. I try to ignore the possessive feelings her attire raises within me.

  My eyes narrow. “Should you be up and about?”

  “The doctor said there’s nothing physically wrong with me that bed rest wouldn’t cure.” She’s holding onto the door, as if reluctant to let me in.