A Matter of Trust

by LazyDay Publishing

  Chapter 10

  Trish returned to work the following week, but promised not to overdo. No more getting up so early or staying up so late. Jake brought lunch whenever he could, and when he couldn’t she made sure to take a short lunch break. She also made it a point to eat something for breakfast, even if it was just a granola bar. Sometimes, Jake would come by to eat dinner with Trish and the kids, and sometimes, they’d all eat out together. Friday became family night when mother and children would go to Jake’s house for dinner and either an outing, movie night, or game night, depending on the mood.

  This particular Friday, Trish got to work a little while ahead of Diana, and started organizing everything for the day. Di came in as usual when she arrived.

  “I’m here, Trish. I’ll go back and get the calendar to go over your agenda.” A couple of minutes passed, and when Di didn’t return as she usually did, Trish went up to the front to look for her and overheard her talking on the phone. She had begun to turn around and await her back in the office when she heard Diana’s anguished voice and returned.

  “Roger, please just leave me alone. I don’t want to reconcile, and I don’t want to go to counseling. I’m glad you’re getting help, and I wish you well, but I’ve moved on with my life, and you need to, also.”

  There was a short pause as Diana listened to the person on the other end of the line, apparently her ex-husband.

  “I don’t care what you do to me, I’m not going anywhere with you ever again. How do you keep getting my number? Is my mother giving it to you? Roger, I don’t care who wants us back together, it’s just not going to happen. If you come near me, I’ll call the police. You’re under a restraining order. Who told you where I work? Don’t threaten me. I’m hanging up now.” Diana hung up the phone and held her head with both hands.

  “Di, are you okay?”

  “Oh Trish, I’m so scared. Roger said he knows where I work. He might be bluffing or fishing for information, but what if he does know? I can’t afford to change my job. I love it here. I love working for you. I don’t want to leave.”

  “Sweetie, you shouldn’t have to leave. We’ll just be careful. Let’s keep the doors locked in between customers for starters. From now on, you don’t walk to the car by yourself. Do you think he knows where you live?”

  “He didn’t say he did, just that he knew where I worked. He didn’t say the Lit Center by name, so he might be lying. I think my mother’s giving him my number. You and my parents are the only ones who have it, and I know you didn’t give it to him.”

  “Why in the world would she do that? Doesn’t she realize the hell he’s put you through?”

  “Roger can be very charming and very persuasive. I’m sure he told her he was going to counseling and that he’d never hurt me again. We’re Catholic, and my parents don’t believe in divorce.”

  Trish went around to the desk and hugged her friend. “We’ll just be extra careful for awhile. Why don’t you call your parents and tell them about this call. Maybe they’ll respect your wishes and abide by your decision if they know Roger’s threatening you again. In the meantime, do you need a place to stay?”

  “You’re such a good friend, and I really appreciate it, Trish, but as far as I know, he doesn’t know where I live. I’m okay for now. Thanks, anyway.”

  “Okay, but let me know if you change your mind. The offer is always open. Do you need to take the day off?”

  “Oh, no. I’ll be alright. I’ll just get your calendar, so we can review your day.”

  The rest of the day passed quietly. Jake brought lunch by, and they discussed plans for the evening. Right at closing, Trish locked up the office, and she and Diana walked to their cars together. Everything appeared as it should be, and they each went their separate ways. Trish picked up the kids at her parents’ house, and Lexie stayed unusually quiet on the drive home. Trish asked her if anything was wrong, but Lexie refused to answer her. She looked at Trevor, and he looked away. Thinking she’d get to the bottom of it later that evening, she drove to Jake’s house.

  Jake had ordered pizza for dinner, Trish had just pulled into the driveway when it arrived. While Jake paid for the pizza, everyone piled out of the car.

  Lexie ran to Jake for her customary hug and kiss, but this time, instead of wanting him to set her down, she lay her head on his shoulder and wrapped her little arms around his neck and wouldn’t let go.

  “How’s my best girl, Lex? Are you tired?”

  She shook her head no and said nothing.

  “Did you have a bad day, sweetheart?”

  Again, she shook her head no and said not one word. Jake looked at Trish who shrugged her shoulders, and they went into the house together. They’d decided to have a movie night, and when Jake sat down on the couch, both kids crawled up into his lap and got settled.

  Jake looked at Trish again, and they both looked at the kids wondering what in the world had gotten into them.

  “Hey, you guys, Jake is tired. Let him relax while we watch the movie together, okay?”

  “That’s okay, Trish. I don’t mind. I’m just wondering what brought on this desire for closeness. Everything okay, kids?” Lexie started crying, and Trevor patted her hand.

  “Mom, can we please have a family meeting?”

  “Sure, we can, son. You want to go to the other room?”

  “No, ma’am. We want Jake to be part of the meeting, too. Is that okay?”

  “Sure, honey. Jake, how about it?”

  “Sure. What’s on your mind, kids?”

  “Stop crying, Lex. Let’s tell them.” Lexie dried her eyes, and Trevor got off Jake’s lap and stood in front of both adults with a serious expression on his seven year old face.

  “Mom, you know how you always tell us to talk to you if something is bothering us?” At her nod, he continued. “Something is bothering us now, and we want to talk to you and Jake about it.” Lexie buried her face in Jake’s shoulder and refused to say anything, leaving it all up to her big brother.

  “Sometimes people ask us why we don’t have a dad, and we don’t know what to say. And when there are things where parents are post to go together, we like it that you go, Mom, but then we get a lot more questions about where our dad is, and it bothers us. Today, when Gram picked me up at school, while she and Lex waited outside for my teacher to walk us out, a boy from my class named Jason asked us if Gram was our mom. We said no, she was our grandma, and you were at work. He said his mom picked him up, cuz she doesn’t work, and how come our mom works, and didn’t our dad have a job. We said we didn’t have a dad, and he said everyone has a dad. It hurt Lexie’s feelings, and I didn’t know what to say.”

  Trish responded and patted Lexie’s leg. “Son, I’m so sorry. Lex, don’t be sad. You guys had a daddy, and he loved you lots, but he died and went to heaven. I’m sure he watches over you, even though we can’t see him.”

  Trevor continued, obviously frustrated. “Mom, that’s the problem. Nobody can see him. So, me and Lex talked it over, and we decided we want to tell people Jake is our dad. It’s not exactly the truth, but he’s like a dad, and he does a lot of the stuff dads do, and he took care of us when you were sick, and he helps me with my homework, and he says Lex is his best girl, and I can talk to him when something worries me, and he always listens and makes me feel better. So, can he be our pretend dad?”

  “Can I say something before your mom does?” Trevor nodded. Lexie hid her face against his shoulder. “I think you guys are great, and I kind of think of you as my kids already. I never mind doing dad stuff with you, and it makes me feel really good that you think I’m the right man for the job. I love you guys, and I love your mom. It doesn’t really matter if I’m your dad for real. What’s important is that we love and care about each other.” Jake looked at Trish for guidance, and he saw tears brimming her eyes that she wiped away as she began to speak.

 
“Guys, first let me say I’m so glad you came to talk to us about this. You know I always want to know if something is bothering you, so we can talk about it, decide what to do, and fix anything that needs fixing. I agree Jake does dad stuff really well, and if he comes with us to school functions and if people think he’s your dad, that’s okay. But I don’t think you should tell people he’s your dad when he isn’t, even though he acts like a dad and does such a good job. Lying is lying, and it’s not right.”

  After thinking over his mother’s words, Trevor continued. “Well then, why don’t you and Jake get married? Then, we could say he’s our dad, and it wouldn’t be lying.”

  Trish smiled. “Honey, marriage is a big step. It’s when two people make promises to each other, and just like Granddad says, a promise is important, so you don’t want to promise anything unless you know for sure that it’s going to happen. Jake and I like being together, and maybe someday, we’ll be ready to make that promise, but until then, I think it would be best if we hold off on getting married.”

  Obviously not willing to accept defeat, Trevor asked, “Well, will you at least think about it?”

  “Sure, I will, son. I’ll let you know what we decide, okay? Now, let’s have movie night. Lex, are you ready to watch the movie?”

  Lexie turned around and quietly nodded, deciding to stay on Jake’s lap. They turned on the movie, but everyone seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Lexie fell asleep while Jake held her, and Trevor sat next to his mother. Both kids obviously needed the comfort of the adults closest to them.

  Trish felt heartbroken that her babies were upset. No matter how hard she tried, she could never make up for the loss of their father. And poor Jake. Talk about putting him on the spot. What should she do? It hadn’t surprised her the kids had picked Jake to be their father. She’d pick him too, in their position. He was everything she could ever want in a … husband?

  She thought it over through the rest of the movie and concluded that, yes, he was what she wanted. Not because he’d make a good father for the kids or because he had proved to be reliable and trustworthy, and not because of his stability and goodness. She wanted Jake, because she loved him with all her heart. She had no idea how it had happened, but despite all her anti-marital intentions, she loved him, and she knew she always would.

  Jake helped her pack up the kids and everything that came with them. They’d both stayed very quiet, and he worried about her reaction to the kids’ request. When she closed the passenger door, he stopped her from getting into the car by pulling her into his arms.

  “You okay, Trish? You’re awfully quiet. Are you upset about the family meeting? You’re not thinking about kicking me to the curb, are you?”

  Trish smiled up at him. “Nope. At this point, the kids might revolt if I did.”

  “We can’t have that, can we?” Jake bent down to kiss her soundly.

  “No, we can’t. Are you still leaving for Albuquerque in a couple days?”

  “Yeah. What’s on your agenda? I don’t suppose you’ve decided to take off from work and go with me?”

  “After missing those sick days? Not likely. I’ll miss you, though.”

  “I’ll miss you back.”

  “Jake, about the kids and the family meeting, I hope you … “

  “I’m honored Trish. I meant what I said. I love those kids, and I love you. It doesn’t scare me or put me off that they feel the same way. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

  “I just don’t want you to feel trapped or anything, or think I put them up to it.”

  “Don’t I wish. Look, I told you awhile back how I feel. It’s nice to know that I at least have their seal of approval. I know if I didn’t, I wouldn’t stand a chance of winning you over. This way, I have allies. You might as well surrender now, honey.”

  She smiled and kissed him goodnight after asking him to come over for dinner the next night and telling him that the kids would probably spend the night with their grandparents. She had some thinking to do.

  When Trish got home, she put the kids to bed quickly, so she could make two very important phone calls. She declared the next day a spa day, and both Eva and Callie agreed to join her. If Jake had her children as allies, she had to even the odds, although the more she thought about it, the more she thought it likely that they would all end up on the same side.

  The next morning, she got the kids ready and dropped them off at her parents for another trip to the zoo and a sleepover, and she met the other girls at the spa. Spa days were special days, not only because you got pampered, but because you had lots of girl time to hash out any issues or problems. Trish didn’t waste any time.

  Eva and Callie waited patiently, watching her like a cat watches a mouse, to find out the reason for this spa day.

  Trish got straight to the point. “Okay … I’m having a mini-crisis here.”

  Callie and Eva looked at each other, then back at Trish, and Callie said, “Spill.”

  “I think I’m in love with Jake, but I’m still not sure I want to be, but I think I do. I’m not as petrified as I thought I would be, but I’m not exactly comfortable either.”

  Eva started. “Well, I think that’s wonderful news for several reasons. First of all, you’re at least considering the possibility. Secondly, you’re not totally scared, and thirdly, Jake is a fantastic man who obviously loves you and the kids. I can’t find any negatives. Can you, Callie?”

  “Nope, and it’s not just because Jake is my brother. If he wasn’t my brother and I wasn’t madly in love with Cade, I’d think he was a great catch. In fact, I still think he’s a great catch, and I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it. I love Jake, but I also love you, Trish. What has he said about it?”

  “Here’s the thing. He told me awhile back that he loved me, but I didn’t feel ready to handle it. He’s been great about not pressuring me, but last night, things kind of came to a head when the kids asked him to be their dad.”

  “Holy shit!” Callie started laughing. “How much do you figure he paid them?”

  Trish scowled. “Very funny. The kids had talked it over after some of their friends asked them why they didn’t have a dad. They decided Jake would fit that bill and asked us if it they could tell people he was their dad, since he did a bunch of ‘dad things.’ If I hadn’t been caught so off guard, I might have thought it was cute, too.”

  Eva chimed in, “So, what did Jake say?”

  “He told them that he loved them and me. I told them they couldn’t tell people he was their dad, because he wasn’t, but it felt like things were kind of up in the air, and Trevor asked me to think about it. Jake was great, as usual, saying how honored he was and how now the kids were in his corner. You know, he’s just so perfect, it scares me. I keep waiting for the bottom to fall out underneath me.”

  “That’s just your past scaring you, Trish,” Eva commented. “Nobody’s perfect, obviously, but you can find the perfect partner for you, faults and all. Do you see any similarities between Jake and Pete?”

  “Absolutely not. Pete, aside from his gambling problems, was weak. He had all these dreams, but no plan to make them come true. Gambling obviously doesn’t count as a plan.”

  “So, what’s the problem?” Callie pressed.

  “Well, Callie, I think the problem is that there is no problem, and that worries me. I know I’m sounding loony, but it’s like I’m on some kind of a ledge and below me is this beautiful, crystal clear water beckoning me to jump, and I’m hot, and it looks so cool and refreshing, but in the back of my mind, I remember that a long time ago, there were sharks in that water and, although it’s supposed to be safe now, I can’t get the previous danger out of my head.”

  “What a great analogy. So, putting it in terms more pertinent, you think Jake’s great, and he’d be a wonderful addition to the family, but you’re still a little hesitant, because there’s always a chance that
things won’t work out. Is that pretty close?” Callie looked at Trish questioningly.

  “Exactly. I’m trying to get past that, but I don’t know how to.” Trish sighed dramatically and looked over at her friends.

  Eva added, “You know, I love Josh with all my heart, but in the back of my mind, I know that there’s no guarantee that we’ll have a happily ever after. I have no doubt he would never abuse me like my ex-husband did, but that’s still no guarantee. Either of us could be killed in a car wreck or any number of things could go wrong. There are no assurances that everything will work out for any couple, but if you learn from your past mistakes – and I’ll bet you’ve learned plenty – when you find someone special like you found Jake, it’s worth taking a chance. At least I think it is. So, what have you learned from your first marriage that you can apply to your second, aside from the bad stuff. What will you do differently if you ever remarry?”

  Trish looked at both of her friends. “I’ve learned not to leave the big stuff like finances up to my husband. I want to be a full partner when it comes to budgeting and making financial decisions. I’ve learned to voice my concerns as they arise, rather than shrugging them off. I suspected things were off before I found out what Pete had done, but I didn’t pursue it, because I didn’t want to upset him or face up to the fact that I suspected him of any wrong doing. And I’ve learned that I can’t change anyone but myself. I knew Pete had issues, especially with self-esteem, but I believed I could ‘cure’ him of that by standing by him and building him up. It doesn’t work that way. Lastly, I’ve learned – and Jake helped me with this one – the only actions I’m responsible for are my own.”

  “Damn, girlfriend, you have learned a whole lot. That’s worth a high five.” Callie lifted her hand up in the air, and the other women joined her in the universal salute for a job well done.

  Eva followed up with another comment. “So, where does that leave you, Trish?”

  “Ladies, I do believe that leaves me … in love with Jake. I’m still not completely comfortable yet, but I have to be honest with myself, and I think it’s time that I’m also honest with him. I’ve put off telling him, but I can’t anymore, not only because he wants and needs to hear it, but also because I want and need to say it. And, by God, I think that deserves another high five.” Her friends agreed and complied, and they spent the next couple hours relaxing and being pampered and beautified.

  The week passed by in a blur. Jake left for Albuquerque and called her often, and she couldn’t wait until he got back into town. She’d had a lot of time to think, and she’d decided to tell him she loved him when he got back to town. The more she thought about it, the more comfortable she got with the idea, and the more she wanted to share her feelings with Jake.

  Should she just blurt it out? Hey, Jake, I’ve decided I love you. Or should she build up to it. Hello, Jake. I’ve wanted to tell you something for awhile now. Jeez Louise, she didn’t have a clue. She’d have to give it some thought before he returned from Albuquerque this weekend.

  On Friday at closing time Trish walked to the front of the center to collect Diana and lock up for the night when the front door opened. Diana had changed her phone number again and chose not to give her parents her new number, and the harassment had stopped, at least for the time being. She turned around to see who had entered, but whipped her head back around when Diana’s chair flipped over.

  “Di, are you okay?” The look on Diana’s face reflected sheer terror as she stared at the man who had come inside. Diana couldn’t answer her, but it wasn’t hard to figure out who was standing inside the doorway.

  “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed for a meeting. You’ll have to leave now.” Trish put herself between Diana and the intruder.

  The man sneered at Trish. “A meeting, huh? Is that why the parking lot is empty? You know what I think? I’ll tell you what I think. I think it’s just the three of us here. And I think it’s time we all sat down and had us a talk. I’ve been watching y’all walk out together every night this week. Just the two of y’all, all alone. I couldn’t help but wonder … what the hell did the two of y’all think you could do against one of me?”

  Trish continued as if he hadn’t even spoken. “Look, if I were you, I’d turn myself around and walk right back out that door. You’re in violation of a restraining order. I am the owner of this establishment, and I am asking you to leave. Now. If you don’t, I’ll have to call the police and have you removed.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Roger, why don’t we go some place, so we can talk? My boss was just going to lock up. Let’s go.”

  “Now, you want to go talk, Diana? The time for talking is fucking over, Diana. You had your chance to meet me for a talk, but you wouldn’t, would you? Ever since you got this fucking job, you don’t think you need me anymore, do you, Diana? In fact, if it wasn’t for this little bitch right here, you never would’ve left at all, would you?”

  Hoping her voice wouldn’t waver, Trish repeated, “I’m telling you for the last time. Get off of my property.”

  “Oh, well if you’re telling me, I guess I better listen.” He turned around as if he were going to leave, but just when Trish was about to release the pent up breath she’d been holding, he turned around and punched the hell out of her, knocking her to the floor. Diana screamed and ran around the desk to go to Trish, and Roger turned back around. And locked the door.