The Avowed (Shadowed Wings Book 2)

by Ivy Asher

  “Where are you going?” he asks, reaching for me again, but dropping his hands when I flinch away.

  “Just a word of advice from one mate to another,” I snark. “Next time, spell it out as plain as day for her, okay? Double check that she knows exactly what she’s in for,” I snap as I angrily tie up my laces.

  “Next time?” he reels back like I’ve slapped him. “There won’t ever be a next time, Falon. We’re it for each other,” he states, and part of me wishes that were true.

  One clusterfuck might be a hell of a lot more manageable than three. But I don’t say that. I need to confirm things first before I go dropping those bombs. I need to find Ryn.

  I call on my wings, and Treno finally loses his cool.

  “Falon, we need to talk about this. Running isn’t going to change anything. I can tell you everything you need to know, and there’s a lot more that you need to know.”

  “That’s great, but I need to go freak the fuck out in private for a while. So let’s meet up later, and you can tell me all the things, and I’ll tell you all the things, and we can go from there,” I shout over my shoulder, diving from enraged right into calm and crazy like they’re a better fit.

  Treno dives for his pants when it’s clear that I’m not going to stick around. I spot more tattoos on his back and calves, but I can’t think about that right now, I need to get the fuck out of here. Pigeon surges in my chest, but I slam her back down forcefully. I leap into the air and fly as fast as I can back to the city.

  Now to track down Ryn.

  15

  I sit cross-legged in my bed, the black bound book that Treno thought I had read now pressing down on my lap. I, of course, couldn’t find Ryn. That fucker is never around when you need him, so I went to find the next best thing I could think of...the book. Purt, thankfully, wasn’t there, and I must have been wearing a look that said if you even talk to me, I will rip you apart, because no one even tried to stop me from leaving with this book in my hands.

  Since then, I’ve barricaded myself in my room...literally. The tree trunk table and gnarled tree limb and stone chairs have been pushed against the doors, not that I need them, because no one has tried to get in. I thought maybe Treno would come and insist on discussing all of the information that apparently I still need to know, but he hasn’t. I’m not sure if I’m glad or pissed about that, and the uncertainty of it all has me leaning toward a general state of I want to fuck everyone up.

  I run my fingers over the words of the page I’m on and shake my head. It’s all there. The warm feeling you get when you see a mate outside of your gryphon form. Or the burning and pain you get if you come across them as a gryphon. The drive to mate and seal the bond. The whole wing thing is apparently a big sign—only a mate can force a partial shift or call one back.

  The memory of my wings responding to Zeph’s and the look on his face. Ryn’s wings responding to mine. My wings mirroring Treno’s…I swipe the memories away with a growl.

  Turning the page, I read on. Irrational jealousy is listed, but I never had that. Mates can apparently soothe each other’s gryphons and track each other. In some rare cases, it states, mates can feel each other’s emotions and even read each other’s minds. I wonder if that means Zeph, Ryn and Treno can feel my rage right now and that’s why everyone is staying away. Then again, we might not have that level of connection.

  I keep reading.

  When the call has been answered, both gryphons will hurt or burn while the bond completely forms. Afterward, they’ll feel tired or weak for about a day following. The book says that once the gryphons mate in their form, it strengthens everything, and according to this, the only way to sever a complete connection is through death.

  I turn through the several pages of information and warnings. Apparently, once a bond has been formed, the gryphons’ essence or life force is linked. Meaning, if someone kills one side of the bond, the other side would probably go too. There are cases mentioned where a mate happened to die when the bond was not complete, yet it didn’t affect both sides. But there are lots of warnings about that too.

  I flip through every page there is, but there isn’t anything listed about what to do if you’re bonded to lying assholes or to another gryphon that hates you. I do find a chapter on multiple mate bonds though. It’s extremely rare but apparently not impossible or unheard of. I thought somehow I would feel better after reading that part, but I don’t.

  There’s a section about smell and mate bonds that leaves me very confused. It states my smell is supposed to change when I’m mated. That the change in smell is supposed to announce to the other members of the Pride that I’m taken. It makes sense that Ryn wouldn’t care about that, but I can’t figure out why Treno didn’t.

  Maybe I don’t smell? I lift my arm up and sniff under my armpit. Nothing offensive or obvious fills my nose. I make a note to ask Treno about it later. I’m going to fit it in right after I tell him I’m mated to the leader of the Hidden and the Commander who also happens to be a Hidden spy. Maybe the smell question will throw him off just enough that he’ll forget he wants to kill me.

  I huff out a tired sigh. Falon, you are a fucking idiot.

  I’ve been so focused on trying to get home or figure out how to fly and just be a gryphon in general that I ignored obvious signs. Yeah, they do the mate thing very differently from what I’ve grown up understanding about shifters, but I felt when things were off or didn’t make sense. I still dismissed them, and now I’m sorry I did. I spent exactly ten minutes earlier wondering if the gate would somehow sever the mate bonds. If I left, could I survive the pain and longing that apparently occurs? But I keep coming back to how I’m here, why I’m here.

  I think it’s time I stop dismissing this world as some unimportant flicker and start accepting that this is now my life. A warm confirmation blooms in my chest, and I take a deep breath and embrace it. The warm bloom suddenly feels like a hot coal that’s pouring lava through my veins. I get half a yelp out before my jaw locks up and I’m all at once certain of what it feels like to go supernova.

  There’s a weird explosion of pain that moves through the searing in my body. It settles inside my upper arms, on my chest, down my back, and at the back of my calves. I grit my teeth and try to ride it out, but something about it tugs at my mind. I know this.

  I’ve felt it before.

  That thought cracks something open inside of me, and I shove back in time in my mind.

  It’s like I’m walking through a living movie, and I can see myself when I was four, maybe, lying in my bed and writhing. I cover my mouth with a shocked hand and watch as black symbols rise up on my skin like they’re simply floating to the surface.

  Armbands of little symbols ring my forearms in three places. Another four more bands of bigger symbols circle my upper arms. Little me tears at her pajamas, and I can see black marks appearing on the right side of my back like someone is writing a book in an unknown language, and it’s all appearing from my shoulder blade down.

  My parents run in, and my little body is blocked. My dad is staring at the symbols on my arm with a stunned look on his face. My mom is screaming at him, but I can’t make out the details of what they’re saying. It’s like I’m underwater and wearing ear plugs. My mom wipes hair from my forehead and kisses me. She climbs on the bed and pulls me into her lap. She yells something at my dad, and then I think she starts singing my favorite song. My gran appears at the door. She rushes in and smooths back more sweaty strands of hair that are sticking to my face. She leans into me and tells me things as my mom rocks me in her lap. I watch as little me settles slightly in their arms.

  My mom is crying, and my dad is pointing at her and me like he’s giving instructions of some sort. My mom suddenly holds me tighter, but not in a soothing way; she’s holding me down...she’s trying to hold me still. My dad systematically places his hands over the marks that have appeared on my body, and he looks like he’s chanting something. I gasp when I see that
one by one the marks are disappearing.

  Little me is screaming. My gran is trying to calm me as my mom holds me tightly, and my dad magically rips the marks from my body.

  I pant as I come to, back in the tree room. I don’t feel like I passed out, just time traveled through hell. I’m crying. I stare down at my arms. I should have marks there, but I don’t. What were they? How did he take them away?

  Puzzle pieces fit together in my mind. The Avowed mark pops up in my head, and then the marks on Treno that I stupidly thought were tattoos. The doors that led into the dead Ouphe city of Vedan had similar symbols all over them. They glowed green when the ghost Ouphe Nadi touched them and told them to open.

  I didn’t see any markings on Zeph or Ryn, not that I’ve explored every inch of them, but I suspect this is an Ouphe thing. I wonder if everyone who is Ouphe tainted or blessed carries marks of some sort.

  I shakily move off the bed and make my way to the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes, and sure enough I have symbols in all the exact places that Treno does. I guess this might just qualify as the “there’s so much more you need to know.” I make a mental note to never interrupt Treno again. It seems he has important shit to tell me, and I keep cutting him off so he can’t.

  I feel weak and achy and way fucking worse than I felt after sealing the mate bond with Zeph and Ryn. I draw a bath and clean the residue of sweat and pain from my skin. My new markings aren’t sore and don’t burn when I expose them to the hot water. They’re just...there. For a moment, I’m tempted to check on Pigeon and make sure she’s okay after the hurt fest we just went through, but I stop myself. I’m not ready to open up that channel again. If I’m being honest, I don’t know if I ever will be, and that kills me.

  Pigeon is a part of who I am. She was trapped my whole life, and now she’s free. I should be celebrating that and strengthening the bond between us like we have been trying to do. But how do I get past the betrayal and the secrets? How do I get past the fact that she didn’t tell me? It’s like we’re two halves working against each other, and I don’t know how that can ever work.

  Someone pounds on my barricaded door, and I jerk up, startled by the aggression of it. It’s either Ryn or Treno, and as much as I’d love to pull a dick move and activate my ghosting skills, we need to talk. Operation Be Mature and Stop Avoiding Shit is now in full effect. I climb out of the tub and quickly dry off as whoever is banging on the other side of the doors shows off their impatience.

  “I’m coming! Chill!” I shout out, but I doubt they can hear me over the temper tantrum that’s clearly occurring on the other side.

  I grab the dress that looks like it’ll be the easiest to get into and pull it over my head. Flowing aubergine-colored fabric drops to the floor from my waist, and I tuck my boobs into the deep V of the top. I rush into the main part of the bedroom and find that the impatient knocking has turned into someone trying to shoulder the doors open.

  What the hell?

  I’m taken aback by someone’s effort to get in here, and for a split second, I instinctively reach out to Pigeon. As soon as her consciousness connects with mine, I recoil. I quickly realize what I’ve done and slam my walls back into place. The doors to my room begin to splinter, and inch by inch my barricade starts to move and make way for whoever is punishing the doors.

  I’m not sure if I should help move shit or just wait for them to muscle their way in. So I just stand there like a statue until I can make out who it is. Another minute of animalistic rage at the door goes on, and then a face as clear as day appears through the broken entrance to my room.

  I have no idea who it is.

  Panic bubbles up inside of me as a deep voice orders, “Falon Umbra, you are to come with us.” He shoves the large table and chairs out of the way, and another colossal guard enters the room. I take an involuntary step back at their advance and try to unfreeze my muscles.

  “What’s going on?” I ask as each massive male moves to my side.

  They wrap their hands around my upper arms, and the next thing I know, I’m being led out of my room and down several hallways and stairs. I’m used to flying in and out of here, and in no time, I’m completely turned around. I have no idea where we are or where we might be going. No one will tell me either, because apparently that would be too easy.

  We spend what feels like an hour going down stairs, so long in fact that my mind has time to wander and wonder why gryphons even have stairs in their building to begin with. At first I think it’s for the elderly or for gryphons who can’t fly maybe, but as we round another corner and go down another flight of stone stairs, I no longer think that plausible.

  Fucking focus, Falon. Who gives a shit about the stairs, let’s give more fucks about why we’re being manhandled.

  “Where are we going?” I try again, but my guards continue to show their mad skills at the silent treatment.

  I try to think through what the catalyst could be for what’s happening, but I have no fucking clue, which means my stupid brain just wants to know about the stairs again. We finally exit the step-labyrinth, and the fact that we didn’t go as far down as the dungeons gives me a little bit of hope that whatever is going on is going to be okay.

  We wind down more halls and past more crystal and iron windows, and a flicker of recognition sparks through me. I think this is the level I was on when I was taken to the massive crystal domed throne room when I first woke up in Kestrel City. I start to recognize more and more, and I suddenly have no doubt that’s exactly where I’m being taken. I just still can’t figure out why.

  The guards stop me in front of the massive iron doors, and I’m forced to wait for them to creak open just like I did that first time. The doors spread with a final irritated boom, and I’m half escorted, half carried in. Unlike last time, most of the thrones are already occupied. Lazza sits in the largest throne in the middle, watching me like a hawk that’s going to swoop down from its perch at any moment and make you its dinner.

  There’s only one female to his left, and she looks bored as fuck. The green-eyed female who marked me is nowhere to be seen and neither is Ryn or some of the old guys that were here last time. Treno is seated on the throne to Lazza’s right, and I can’t discern what he’s thinking or feeling. His face is shuttered. A warning prickle runs up my spine as one of the guards who brought me here steps up to the Syta and whispers something in his ear.

  I watch the exchange and try to school my features like Treno is. Something about this scenario is triggering my internal keep it cool alarms. The guard steps away and moves somewhere behind me. I watch him go and realize that the big iron doors haven’t been closed. It’s as if they’re expecting more people and don’t want to go through the hassle of opening and closing them.

  “Why did you have your door barricaded?” Lazza asks me flatly, and I snap my attention forward, surprised by the question.

  Looks like he’s not waiting on anyone to get whatever this is started.

  “I wanted some quiet time and didn’t want to be interrupted,” I explain.

  It seemed like a perfectly logical thing to do at the time, but I can see that Lazza finds it suspicious for some reason. I look from him to Treno to try and gauge the effect my words might have on him, but he’s all steel and hard edges right now. That sends even more worry through me. From the first time I met Treno, after I’d been shot from the sky, netted, and pulled half drowned from the water, he was cheeky and curious. His disguised blue eyes at the time were filled with interest and excitement; now they are just flat and ominous.

  “Have you been enjoying your time here, Falon?” Lazza asks me casually.

  “I have,” I answer, trying to suss out why this feels like a trap.

  “I’ve been informed that you’ve spent much of your time in the archives, is that correct?” he queries, looking down at his nails like my answer is inconsequential.

  Shit. Is this about the mating book I took? Maybe they take that thing more seriously than
I thought?

  “That’s correct,” I reply.

  “And what have you been looking for in the archives?” he adds.

  I answer without hesitation. “I’ve been looking through the records for information about my parents. I was hoping to find out if they were from here and, if they were, how they ended up in my world.” I pause. “I’ve been trying to make sense of how I got here in hopes that it would help me to get back,” I finish.

  “Did you discover anything?” he presses, and everything inside of me is screaming do not tell him about your parents.

  “No, well, maybe. I came across a name similar to my mother’s. I requested additional information, but the archivists haven’t found any yet,” I offer, hoping the half-truth reads as credible in case anyone in this room can tell.

  “Falon, are you a spy for the Hidden?” Lazza asks me simply.

  “No,” I quickly answer and try to keep my face a mask of confusion instead of showing all the fear that just went slamming through me.

  The room grows silent for an uncomfortably long time. Lazza dips his chin, and one of the guards behind me moves. I don’t turn to track the guard’s movements, too worried if I take my eyes off of Lazza, he’ll climb down whatever web he’s weaving and string me up. Treno shifts his weight like he’s suddenly uncomfortable.

  More silence wraps around me, and it feels maddening. When Lazza finally does speak again, I have to keep from jumping, I’m so surprised by it.

  “So you’re telling me that you don’t know him. Is that right, Falon?”

  I hear the clang of chains, and I turn to see who Lazza is referring to. Fear was already slamming through me, but when I turn to see Ryn being dragged in by his arms, my fear turns to pure terror. He’s been beaten...severely, and it’s all I can do not to gasp or start crying.

  “Yes, I know him,” I admit, taking my eyes off of Ryn and focusing back on Lazza and Treno.

  Ryn’s life depends on me finding a way to get him out of this, and I’m still not one hundred percent sure exactly what this is. The spy question I was asked definitely tips the scales in that direction, but there’s still a chance this is somehow about something else. Maybe Treno found out about me and Ryn, and he’s not keen on sharing. Who the fuck knows, but I need to figure out how to play this...and fast.