In The Midst Of Chaos: An MC Romance

by C. Lymari

  “Can-Can, who held your hand after Axton spanked the shit out of you because you threw a brick of coke in the lake?”

  He walked backward, flicking me off with both hands until he got to the door. I smiled warmly at him.

  Man, I’d missed him.

  I’d missed this house.

  Sadly, being here also reminded me of how much I missed my father.

  Don’t get me wrong, I missed my mom, but I had less time with her than I did with my dad. I sometimes would forget what she looked like. When I looked in the mirror, I was reminded of my father.

  With a towel wrapped around my middle, I stepped out of the shower and walked toward my room.

  Lying down on the left side of the bed was Nashton. He was holding one of my picture frames, looking lost in thought. I knew which one it was. The picture was of my father and me. I had been four, and my dad was lifting me toward the sky. I was wearing a white tulle dress with a bomber jacket and combats boots. As lovely as the picture was, that wasn’t why I had it on my nightstand.

  Sitting on a battery-operated four-wheeler was Nash, and he was also smiling at the camera.

  “Get your nasty-ass boots off my bed,” I scolded him, not daring to cower or go back inside the bathroom to change.

  Nashton licked his lower lip, and I swore I could feel the tip of his tongue tracing my skin. Slowly, he put the frame back down, and he did it without breaking eye contact with me.

  He sat up, and I could feel those mismatched eyes caressing me, my legs, and moving their way up to my face.

  “See something you want?” I smarted off because I couldn’t help myself. I lived to get a reaction from him because he was usually guarded with me.

  His eyes flared, and his shields were up again.

  “What I wanted from you, I already got,” he said lazily with a smoky tone.

  My legs quivered, and I felt a thrill in the pit of my stomach, running down between my legs.

  “So, there’s nothing you want from me?” I raised a brow.

  Nash got up and took a step toward me. I wasn’t short for a girl—medium height, and when I wore heels, I was supermodel tall. Even when I had heels on, Nash was taller. Add it to the seven thousand and eighty-six things I liked about him.

  I tipped my chin so I could look up at him. My heartbeat slowed, maybe bracing itself for what was about to come out of his mouth. It didn’t matter what he said, it didn’t matter what he did, not when the biggest blow he could give was already delivered.

  Nash looked down at me, and he inhaled slowly as if he were taking my scent in.

  “Don’t go to the meeting today,” he said.

  My body shook with the sting of betrayal.

  “Is this why you wanted me gone? So I would be out of the picture, and you boys could run all of it on your own?”

  His eyes flashed.

  “You think I’d have to send you away to destroy you?”

  My throat clogged, and I did the only thing I could think of to have the upper hand.

  “I think…” I said as I let the towel drop, baring my body to him.

  Nash sucked in a breath and let out a hiss. He didn’t pretend like he wasn’t looking. His eyes were on my breasts. My nipples had been pebbled since the moment I’d seen him on my bed.

  When his eyes made it to the apex of my thighs, they snapped back to my face.

  His eyes stayed on my face for a second longer, and then he bent to pick the towel up and threw it at me.

  “You have nothing I haven’t seen before.” The asshole smirked, then turned around and walked out of my room.

  Chapter Seven

  Eighteen Years Old

  Every organization had a way to deal with problems and how to solve them. For DD Enterprises, we followed the law. There were procedures before you could terminate someone. With the Disciples, we took care of things a different way.

  My father was in the middle of the clearing. Next to him was Leon, his right-hand man, and then Gunner. Behind them were me and Nate. We grinned cockily at each other. Tonight was the night that I was finally in—I became part of the organization officially.

  For Nate, he had to prospect for the club, basically be their bitch, and then he also had to take a vow like me.

  I couldn’t help but look at the spot next to my father; that’s where Micah, Finley’s dad, should be. Three years ago, he passed away.

  “Bring him out,” my father said, and a few of the Disciples who were with us nodded.

  A few seconds later, two men dragged another man between them. He was already beaten badly. I wasn’t stupid, and I knew there was more than I was being told about the things that happened in our town. I hoped that once I took the vow, my family would trust me with sensitive information.

  What I did know was that someone had killed Micah, and we were out for blood.

  Fuck us over, and we would fuck you back stronger.

  I was doing this for my family, but I was also doing this for Finley.

  Fuck. I still felt sick to my stomach, just thinking about how she’d looked at her father’s funeral. She just sat there at the front of the row, looking past her dad’s coffin and into the wall. Whenever a tear managed to spring free, she would wipe it away. Huxley kept trying to soothe her. He would try to rest her head on his shoulder. Finley wasn’t having it.

  Eventually, my brother gave up and left her. Without thinking, I walked to where my brother had been sitting. I didn’t say anything, but I took hold of her hand. I crossed my fingers with her much smaller ones and silently told her I was there for her.

  I knew that if Micah were alive, he would have made Finley come here today. And the sick part was that I liked that idea.

  “Nashton, son, come here,” my father commanded.

  I took a deep breath and did as my father said. As soon as I stepped next to him, my father handed me a sleek black gun.

  I took it, and even though I’d been shooting all my life, somehow now, it felt heavier. I knew how to shoot a target and hit the bull’s-eye, but at the moment, I wondered if I was a good shot.

  “He doesn’t want to speak anymore, that’s fine. He’s useless to us now.” My father turned around and walked away, leaving me alone with Leon, Gunner, and Nate.

  “Do it now!” Leon shouted at me, and the man who was on the floor spat blood and glared at him. I wanted answers, but I knew I wasn’t going to get them. The man started to crawl and tried to lift his hand. It was the time between life and death where a man would do anything for himself to not meet his fate.

  I raised my gun and aimed it.

  My hand shook, and my finger dragged as I put it to the trigger.

  “Just do it!” Leon yelled.

  I turned to him and glared.

  “Shut the fuck up,” Nate growled at him. “He outranks you, bitch.”

  Leon didn’t like that comment, but it was the truth.

  I turned back around to the man, who was trying to talk. Well, the time for talking was over.

  “We live in the shadows,” I said low enough for him to hear me. “We are your nightmares. You fuck with one of us, we’ll fuck you back stronger. There’s no easy way out once you’re a Death Disciple.”

  And with that, I pulled the trigger. My body staggered back for a second, and I closed my eyes as soon as the bullet went flying. My chest rose and fell.

  I had just taken a life.

  “You did it, man,” Nate said in my ear. He then put on his gloves and took the gun away from me.

  I guess our vow was a lot like being made. Your life of allegiance in exchange for a life. It was always the life of someone who had betrayed us, never someone innocent. The gun was unregistered, my prints all over it. The body of the man who had been killed would get dumped somewhere it would one day be found. It would be a cold case. The Disciples kept the guns as insurance because if one day we betrayed them and managed to disappear, they would bring hell down on you, which involved having the one piece of evi
dence missing in a long-ago-forgotten puzzle. Since my family was a high profile family, they not only would end us but had the gun as evidence to destroy our legacy in the public eye.

  “Come on, let’s go party.” He gave me a little shake.

  I nodded but didn’t move. I finally allowed myself to look at the man whose life I had just taken.

  “You did good, son.” Leon patted my shoulder. When I looked at him, he looked pleased.

  “I’m going to go home and change,” I said to them even though that was a lie.

  They believed me and didn’t question it. I walked back to the dark path that led to the house.

  My head was not in a good place, and maybe that’s why she got one up on me, but at that moment, I didn’t have it in me to scold her for being out of the house unprotected.

  Finley took one look at me, and she gave me a sad smile.

  Her chestnut hair was down, falling in waves. She wore leggings with a cropped hoodie. I hated when she wore clothes like that—guys, men, anyone who liked chicks stared, and Finley was gorgeous.

  I swallowed.

  Finley’s chest rose and fell. I could see she was weighing something behind her dark eyes, and then when she came to a decision, she walked toward me. When she was one step away, she held open her arms, and because the weight of someone’s life hung on my shoulders, I walked into them.

  She was still shorter than me and lighter, but at that moment, I felt like she was the one holding me up.

  Finley wasn’t like other girls because Micah had always taught her that she deserved more. She held herself to high standards and was the type of girl you wanted to emulate, so you held yourself to the same.

  Her fingers started to run over my hair, and when her nails scraped my scalp, I shivered.

  “My father told me that you always remember your first. You can be years or miles from the place where it happened, but their eyes will still haunt you.”

  I twisted my head and burrowed my head into her neck. Fuck, she smelled so sweet and soft. Chanel No. 5. She liked to joke that it was the only thing classy about her.

  In her arms, I felt like a king. That should have been a warning that I was in dangerous territory. One of my arms wrapped around her middle. The other came to her chin, and I gently tipped her chin so she could look up at me.

  “I’d gladly carry this weight on my shoulders if it means that I got retribution for your dad.”

  She sucked in a breath. She then raised her hand and cupped one of my cheeks. “It’s sweet, but I don’t need a Crull boy taking care of me.”

  I grinned at her. “Baby.” The word slipped out, but it felt so fucking right. “I’ll always take care of you.”

  “You really mean that?” she whispered.

  “Yeah,” I vowed.

  “Do me a favor, Nash?”

  I grinned at her. “What?”

  “Don’t die for me.”

  The smile fell from my lips.

  “I can’t promise you that,” I said as I grabbed a strand of her hair. “Come on, let’s get you back to your room. You know you shouldn’t be out.”

  She rolled her eyes at me but started to walk ahead of me. It was a silent walk back to her tower.

  When I was at her bedroom door, she turned around and cocked her head. “I’m glad I was there.”

  Her words hit me deep, and I couldn’t explain why. After a while, I replied, “Me too.”

  I had just taken a step back about to leave for my party when Finley called my name.

  “Yeah?” I replied as I looked at her. Finley walked up to me and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her.

  “Thank you for trying to be my knight.”

  I hugged her tighter. She pulled back, and I thought she would say something else, but instead, she fucking kissed me.

  She tasted forbidden and sweet, like a disaster waiting to happen, and because I lived for chaos, I kissed her back.

  She was everything I could want, but then I remembered she would marry my brother, so I pushed her away.

  Chapter Eight

  I looked at myself in the mirror before I left my room. My hair was slicked and straight as a pin. I wore black from my head to my toes. The only color was from my red lips and my soles. My pantsuit was all business, but the cut on the blazer was sexy. The tops of my breasts looked terrific in it—a strategic look on my part. I was here for business, and I wasn’t a little girl anymore.

  Strutting down my room, I made my way to the foyer where the boys were already waiting. Had I been less of a female, I might have staggered back at the sight of them.

  No one could say these Crull boys didn’t clean up nice. Huxley looked like he belonged in a three-piece suit. He was made to run a boardroom: broad shoulders, loafers, and his fancy watch. Duncan was like a rock star who cleaned up for the Grammys. Still edgy but a bit restrained. He licked his lips when he saw me.

  “Nice tits,” he joked.

  At that, Nashton and Huxley turned around.

  It didn’t matter that my future husband was in the room, he ceased to exist when his brother was in the room. Nash’s mouth fell open, but after he took a deep breath, he composed himself.

  “Dad wants us to get there together.” His voice came out hoarse like it had cost him to speak. “The helicopter should be getting here any second now.” He gave me one last look and walked away.

  I watched him walk away from me for what seemed like the seven-thousandth time, and it still didn’t get easier. If time didn’t lessen the blow, I doubted anything would.

  I closed my eyes and was transported back to the first time it caused me pain. Where I felt like I was dying. Like my heart was tearing in half.

  Nash had just taken the vow. I knew the men didn’t want me there at the clearing. Still, I also knew that if my father had been alive, I would be standing next to him, watching someone from the family take the vow of loyalty and silence.

  Part of me was scared, but the other one was proud. Every day, Nashton reminded me more of my father. The grace was there, but underneath it was the savage way in which they dealt with laws.

  My heart beat faster that night, and my breathing became shallow. He had awoken feelings in me I had no idea I was capable of possessing.

  Trying to flirt with Nash made me feel stupid and childish. I didn’t think he knew what I was doing, or even if I was doing it right.

  I knew guys liked me because they stared at me at school, but no one dared to touch me. Not when I was always with a Crull boy or a Disciple.

  I took my shot, and it tasted like heaven. Nash was caught off guard, but I felt the way his fingers dug into my hips, like he was trying to carve his fingernails into my bones so he wouldn’t have to let go. The way his lips were bruising, like he was trying to leave the imprint of himself behind. Then he pushed me back.

  “What the fuck,” he growled, looking manic.

  His mismatched eyes were lit up with anger, one of them bright and icy, and the other one warm and blazing.

  “You kissed me back,” I spat.

  Nash wiped the kiss off with the back of his hand. “You’re like my little sister, Finnie.”

  Except you didn’t fuck your little sister and then kick her out of your bed.

  “You look gorgeous, Finley.” Hux was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. He extended his hand to take, and because I was not in the mood to fight, I took it. That was a lie. I took it because I wanted to see the look on Nash’s face when he saw me get to the helipad with his brother’s hand in mine.

  I was a bitch because being a doormat never got me anywhere.

  When we made it to where the helicopter was waiting, Duncan was the first to notice that Huxley and I walked hand-in-hand. He observed our hands and then raised an accusing brow at me.

  Perhaps he was more perceptive than I had given him credit for. And maybe I was playing with fire, but what was life without getting burned?

  I lifted my head and eyed Huxley, and h
e looked triumphant. As if holding my hand had been a conquest and he was made victorious. I didn’t expect to feel the pain that radiated in my body the moment Nashton took notice of our arrival.

  His eyes latched onto where Huxley and I held hands. His jaw didn’t go hard, and those mismatched eyes that I loved so much didn’t glare. It was just for a fraction of a second, but his shoulders sagged, and then our eyes met, and it was written all over his face—acceptance.

  I let go of Huxley’s hold and made my way to my seat. I wanted to taunt Nash, to force him to realize the harsh reality that if I wanted to keep my father’s word, I could and would marry his brother. The saddest thing was that he had already resigned himself to the idea that I would become a Crull, just not by him.

  At this point, I didn’t know what hurt more—him not begging for my forgiveness or the fact that he was ready to cast me aside to his brother.

  “Are ‘save the dates’ coming soon?” Duncan asked as he took a seat next to me. I was grateful for it because I wouldn’t have to worry about Nash or Huxley as I got my game face on.

  When the heli took off, I was relieved because it would cease all conversation.

  The building for DD enterprises was the tallest of them all. I stayed in my seat for a while longer, just marveling at the beauty below me. The world was at our fingertips, but one wrong move and the fall from the top would be deadly.

  Showtime.

  Huxley was waiting for me with his hand outstretched. I looked at it but didn’t take it. His face fell.

  “I need some time,” I told him. “I want to go to my dad’s office.”

  “I thought—”

  “I still stand by what I said. I will not marry you.”

  “Then what was that back there?” he spat at me.

  “That was me needing a friend.” I smiled sadly at him.

  He turned around and left without another word to me. Ignoring him, I squared my shoulders and took one heeled step in front of the other.

  Guess I was going to be riding the elevator alone. I was fine. One thing that my father told me and made sure I had stuck in my head was that I didn’t need anyone.