Soulless Bastards MC No Cal Boxset

by Erin Trejo

  I nod my head and watch Blu and the guy’s head into the office before I slowly make my way back into the main room. My heart already feels heavy, but when I see Jameson’s truck on the floor I lose it. I break into tears and fall to my knees. I can’t do this. I don’t know how to do this or what to feel. Everything between Tic and I has happened so fast and now I feel like it’s all being ripped away from me.

  Hands rest on my back, but they aren’t Brooke’s. I turn my head and look up to see Kenderly and Prim both standing next to me.

  “I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been with you. I’m glad that he has you, Ashley,” Kenderly’s sweet voice says. I know it’s meant to be soothing, but it isn’t. It hurts worse because Kenderly knows him, and I’ve seen the way she looks at him. I never bring I up because I know they are close and have been for years, but I can’t help but wonder if she feels more for him than she’s let on. I wonder if she sees him as more than just a friend. Not that Tic has ever seemed to notice, but I do. She grew up with him, and how can she not – he’s Tic.

  As much as I don’t want to accept the comfort, when the tears fall faster, she drops down and I let her pull me into her arms. Putting my suspicions and feelings aside, I find solace in her embrace.

  “I know it’s weird, but I love him, Kenderly.” I sob into her shirt.

  “I know you do. He’ll be ok. The guys will work it out. They always do,” she reassures me, my pain seemingly echoed in her eyes. I don’t know that anymore. I don’t know anything at all.

  Chapter 22

  Tic

  My head fucking swims. I feel sick to my stomach. Every bone in my body aches. My arms are limp and I can’t sit up. I don’t know how long I’ve laid here, but I know it’s more than a day. Am I even still in my house?

  “You’re awake. You slept right through the little issue with your brother.” Dana rolls her eyes as she sits on the bed next to me. Mayhem was here? What the hell is she giving me?

  “What the fuck did you do?” I growl, but that isn’t how it comes out. It’s gravely. My throat is dry as fuck, and my tongue feels like it’s ten times the size it should be.

  “Warned him. Got rid of him,” she says flipping her hand through the air as if it’s nothing.

  “Where’s my son?” I ask trying to force my head off the pillow with no luck.

  “Our son is being taken care of. Don’t worry about him right now. Worry about us, Tic.” Dana shifts so that she’s facing me. Her hands slowly move up my thighs and against my mind, my dick responds. I’m pissed. At myself for letting this shit happen. At her for doing whatever the hell she thinks it is she’s doing. This is wrong and I know it, but I can’t seem to stop myself from responding to her.

  “Why are you doin’ all this? You left, Dana,” I grumble. The room spins and I hate that feeling. It’s one I haven’t felt in years. Not since I stopped using.

  “I watched you, you know. You were a wreck when I left.” Her words mean nothing. I know what I felt when she left. I was a mess from coming off all the goddamn drugs and finding my own way with a newborn son. Dana’s hands pull at my waistband, pulling the sweatpants down my thighs. Her eyes blaze with hunger, but I don’t want her.

  “I had a kid to take care of. Any decent person would be a wreck tryin’ to get their life together.” I watch her through my heavy lids as she strokes my dick in her hand. The sad part of all of this? I don’t feel a fucking a thing. Not desire. Not the urge to take her. I feel nothing. Whatever the fuck she’s been pumping into my veins is doing its job.

  “You missed me, didn’t you? I mean at first. Then those whores came into your life. Did you think I didn’t see how many of them you brought around our little boy?” she asks before sliding her lips over the tip of my dick, and still I feel nothing.

  “My little boy. What you are gainin’ out of this? I’ll never love you, Dana. I never did. You were a warm pussy to stick my dick in. Not much different than those whores,” I grunt. This is bullshit. What the hell is she trying to do here? I want no part of her little games that she’s playing.

  Dana’s head bobs as she takes the full length of my dick in her mouth. I watch her, wondering what the fuck has to be running through her head when I hear the gasp. My heart kicks up a notch when I look toward the door. I may not be in my right mind here and I may not be able to feel a goddamn thing, but I know my heart nearly exploded when I heard that gasp.

  “Ash?” I blink my eyes trying to get them to focus. All this shit that’s running through my system is making the room blur and fog. I can’t get a good look at her.

  “How could you, Tic?” Her cry kills me. I didn’t want this shit!

  “Ash, please. It’s not what you’re thinkin’.” Even saying the words sounds dumb. It’s not though but look at me – I’m sprawled the fuck out on my own goddamn bed with my ex sucking my dick and I can’t move an inch.

  “Yes it is. We’re in the middle of something, if you don’t mind,” Dana says after pulling her lips from my dick. I want to choke this bitch, and God help me when I get free of this shit, I will. I will kill her and enjoy watching her life slip away at my hands.

  “Fuck you, Dana!” I growl but it doesn’t sound right. Fuck!

  “I’m about to fuck you, Tic,” Dana purrs. I roll my head as far as I can to look at Ashley and the hurt in her eyes kills me.

  “You let her hurt Jameson, I will kill you, Tic,” Ashley says. Dana climbs to her feet, and there is nothing I can do.

  “She took him! Ashley, tell my dad she took him!” I try to scream, but that isn’t what’s coming out of me. It only sounds like a bunch of jumbled words coming out as grunts.

  “You don’t worry about my son. Get the hell out of our house,” Dana snarls at her. She snaps her fingers and a man comes from behind Ash. I can make out the shape of him. He’s bigger than her.

  “Don’t you touch me!” Ashley screams.

  “Don’t fuckin’ touch her!” I roar in the sane garbled sound. I try to force my body to move, to fucking do anything but this shit is insane. I can’t move. I hate this. I hate what she’s doing to me.

  I hear Ashley scream and fight until the front door closes.

  “Don’t you fuckin’ hurt her!” The words come out harsh and barely intelligible.

  “No one is going to hurt your little bitch. She won’t be coming back here, though.” My eyes try to focus on hers. That woman is the fucking devil. She’s insane.

  “You have anyone hurt her, Dana, you will die slowly,” I force out. My heart is the only thing I can feel, and by the way it’s pounding, I know my muscles must be tense as hell. I watch Dana as she walks to the bedside table and picks something up. I can’t turn my fucking head that far so I have no clue what she’s doing until I feel the prick.

  “I thought we could play nicely together, Tic. I thought that I could make this family work, but I see now that you are nothing. Jameson is all the family I need. You want that little whore, she’s all yours when my boys get done with her. As for me? Me and my son will be leaving tonight. You didn’t want to cooperate with me, and frankly I’m getting bored with your dick.” My eyes get heavier by the second. She isn’t taking my son. She isn’t going to let them hurt, Ash. I have to fight this shit.

  “You’re dead, Dana. You’re de-” I didn’t get to finish that sentence. Everything swept up around me and the room grew darker than it ever has before.

  Chapter 23

  Ashley

  How could I have been so stupid? How did I ever think Tic would willingly be with her? At first, it seemed that way. She was sucking his fucking dick, but the more I thought about it the more I realized he didn’t move. She had him drugged. She had to have him drugged because he would have killed her. I probably should have listened to Blu when he said not to go anywhere, but I couldn’t sit still knowing she was there. Knowing that she got her hands on J. Now I walk in a daze. My body aches.

  The vile and repulsive things that those monst
ers did to me will forever be engrained in my memory. I wanted to blame Tic, but I couldn’t. I wanted to hate him but for what? He didn’t do this. He didn’t make them do those things to me. After I was raped and beaten, I was tossed to the side of the road. I’ve been walking for what seems like forever. I wasn’t sure where I was at first, but once my memory started to return, I was actually only an hour from home. They took my purse, my phone, and my life. I feel disgusting. My face is bloody, and the sweat that drips down burns my skin. People have stared at me as I’ve walked down the street. No one has stopped to see if I was okay. Blood covers and stains my ripped clothing. I never knew this world could be so cruel, and yet here I am walking in the middle of it.

  I keep my arms wrapped tightly around myself as I walk in the haze that was created by the drugs they shot into my system. I now know why Tic couldn’t move. I screamed for him. I wished for him to come to me, but he never did. How could he when he was living his own hell?

  Lifting my head, I blink up at the road sign. Two options. Left to the clubhouse or right to go home. All I want is to go home, but they need to know what’s happening to Tic. I shake my head. I can’t do it. I can’t face them so I go right and head toward my house. I don’t make it far as tears fall down my cheeks. The pain that was masked by the drugs slowly works its way to the surface. I suppose I should be thankful for them pumping my body full of drugs before the attack on me. I can’t breathe. I drop to my knees and gasp for air as strangled noises leave my throat.

  “Ashley?” I hear Brooke’s voice, but I don’t know if it’s real. I don’t know if it’s all just a figment of my imagination or the drugs. I suck in huge gulps of air until I become dizzy. It all hurts so much.

  “Oh my God. Ash.” Brooke is in front of me, worry crossing her face. She’s so beautiful. She’s endured so much in her life that I’m glad she has Declan now. I’m glad she has someone who loves her as much as I do, because after this, I don’t know that I can live. I don’t know that I want to.

  I collapse into Brooke’s arms as she calls someone. I know it’s Declan.

  “She’s bleeding. You have to hurry.” Her cries pierce my heart. That’s the last thing I wanted for her. I don’t want her sad. I don’t want her to worry over me.

  “Help’s coming, Ashley. You’re going to be okay.” She wipes at my hair, brushing it away from my face. I love her touch. She’s so gentle where those bastards were so rough. The vivid memory of them coming toward me. The way their breath smelled. The way the room made me shudder. It’s too much. Brooke pulls me in tighter, holding me against her but my tears stop. They won’t fall. They just dry up and then there’s nothing. There’s me and Brooke.

  Jameson is gone. Tic is gone. I’m just…gone.

  Brooke holds me when I hear the rumble of bikes. It doesn’t faze me. I don’t move. I just lie still in her arms.

  “What the fuck!” Mayhem roars. It’s so loud that it causes me to flinch.

  “What the fuck happened?” Declan growls before I feel myself being lifted off the ground.

  “I don’t know! I was walking home and saw her,” Brooke cries. I feel breath on my skin and my first thought is to pull away but why? There is nothing that can be done to me now that those bastards didn’t do.

  “You’re okay now, Ash. We’re gonna take you to the hospital, okay?” Mayhem’s voice should be soothing but it’s not.

  “Tic.” The only word I can manage to say is his name. He’s all I want but what I don’t need. This happened because of him, didn’t it? That’s what was playing in my head as I was raped and beaten. If I would have just stayed away from him this wouldn’t be happening to me.

  “We’re gonna get your man back,” Mayhem whispers. Those words only rip through me deeper. Tears clog my throat. I can’t have him anymore. He isn’t mine. He’s hers. She won’t let him go.

  Chapter 24

  Tic

  The sounds of beeping awaken me. I shake my head wondering what the hell Dana is doing to me now. I don’t know that I really want to know the answer to that truthfully. She has injected me with so much shit, I don’t know how to function. I pry my eyes open and jolt. This isn’t my house. What the fuck?

  “Calm down.”

  I hear his voice and turn my head. My dad sits there with a scowl on his face. His hands are clenched in his lap and he looks like he hasn’t shaved in days.

  “What the fuck is happenin’?” I ask him as I lay my head back on the pillow. It doesn’t take me long to realize I’m in a hospital, but how the fuck did I get here? Where is Dana? Where’s Jameson? Fuck, where is Ashley?

  “After we found Ashley, we went back to the house ready for a goddamn war.” He begins but I’m lost at “found Ashley”.

  “What do you mean, found Ashley? What the hell is goin’ on?” I roar only to be hit with a wave of nausea.

  “She’s here. Calm the fuck down before that jackass doc comes back.” Dad huffs. I lie back and try to calm my nerves, but I don’t know a damn thing that’s happening right now.

  “Where is she?” I ask.

  “In her room. Listen, I’m gonna tell you this cause you’re my son and I know you care about her, but you need to take it easy, yeah?” When the words leave his mouth, I know that whatever comes next aren’t going to be good. I nod my head anyway and watch as he takes a breath and runs his hand over the stubble on his jaw.

  “Brooke found her walkin’ home. She was bloody and beaten.” My hands clench around the blanket that covers my body. My world begins to spin on its axis. Dana wouldn’t have had that done to her, would she? The more I let that settle, the more I know she would. Look what she fucking did to me!

  “She’s pretty bad off in the head, Tic. They tore her up. She was-” I put my hand up to stop him. I can’t hear that part. I don’t want to.

  “Don’t say it, Dad.” I shake my head. He huffs out a breath.

  “Fuck off. You need to know what happened! They raped her, Tic. Tore that girl to hell,” he roars before shoving out of the chair he was sitting in. I watch him pace as I let it all sink in. That bitch. She would stoop so fucking low to get back at me. What’s her gain? I mean, she has my son. What did she gain hurting Ash like that? Why do it? The more I think, the more I become pissed. I sit up slowly, giving myself time to let the room stop spinning when I throw my legs over the side of the bed. I see my clothes sitting on the table across the room. Shoving out of the bed, my dad watches me but doesn’t say a word. I know he won’t either. I grab my clothes and pull them on before shoving my feet in my boots.

  “She doesn’t wanna see you, Son.” His words don’t stop me. I don’t give a shit what she wants. I need to see her. I need to see that she isn’t as broken as he’s telling me that she is.

  “Fuck you,” I mumble as I make my way toward the door.

  “I mean it, Tic. She doesn’t want to see you.” I turn my head and glare at him.

  “Start gettin’ the guys together to find Jameson. She has my son. She has guys backin’ her. What room?” He doesn’t say a word, just smiles.

  “Two rooms down on the left. I’m callin’ church in thirty minutes in the chapel here.”

  I nod my head and leave the room. I’m a man on a motherfucking mission right now. Whether she wants to see me or not, I have to know that she’s alive and breathing. I have to see that they didn’t ruin that sweet girl I feel in love with. That thought alone scares the hell out of me, but I can feel it deep within me. I fought it hard and I know I lost. I will be the man to admit it too. I’ll do whatever it takes to show her what she means to me, but I need to get Jameson back first. I have to believe that Dana wouldn’t hurt him despite what she did to me. That’s the lingering thought that stays in my head as I walk into Ash’s room.

  “What the hell are you doing out of bed?” Brooke looks up at me shocked. Her eyes are wide but I don’t look at her long. I look at Ashley. My broken girl.

  I walk over and stare down at her, not saying a wor
d. Her eyes are closed, bruised. She has a cut on her left cheek and forehead. Her lip is busted but slowly healing. My heart clenches in my chest. This is my fault.

  I reach for her hand only to realize her arm is casted. This is too much. I can’t let her fall because of me.

  I lean down, pressing my lips to her head and whisper, “You stole my heart, Ash. I don’t know when you did it or how, but you did. I won’t ever be whole without you and you know that. I’m gettin’ our boy back, darlin’. He needs you. I need you.” I kiss her once more when her hand tightens around mine. I pull back but her eyes are still closed.

  “She loves you, Tic.”

  I turn my head to look at Brooke as I swallow the tears that threaten to fall. “I know she does, and it got her nowhere but here.” I let Ash’s hand go and step back from her bed when I hear her.

  “No. It saved me.”

  Chapter 25

  Ashley

  I know why I never did drugs. This feeling is disgusting. I hate it. I feel like I have fog sifting around in my head. My tongue feels like I licked sand. This is horrible. Why people would enjoy this is beyond me.

  “You shouldn’t do that,” Tic says as I try to push myself up. I feel like I’ve been crushed under a semi-truck. My whole body aches.

  “I can’t lay here anymore. I feel like I’m sinking through the mattress,” I mumble. He chuckles but I didn’t say it to be funny.

  “You need to rest, darlin’.” His hand touches my shoulder and I flinch away. I look up at him and see the hurt in his eyes. Tic tries to step back but I grab his hand.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him softly. He shakes his head and opens his mouth but before he can say anything I say, “I was scared for you.”

  “Scared for me? I didn’t know what the fuck they were doin’ to me, but all I could think about was you.” His eyes sparkle with tears that I know he won’t let fall. That’s not the kind of man Tic is. He sniffs a few times before he nods his head slowly.