The Complete Tempest World Box Set

by Mankin, Michelle

  “You act all cool and indifferent and claim that no one cares about you, but I know that’s not true.” My voice dropped to a soft whisper, and I lifted my gaze to find a pair of stormy dark eyes staring back at me. “And I know how alone you’re feeling.”

  “You don’t know me.” Mahogany eyes drilled unmercifully deep. “You don’t know anything about how I feel.”

  “You’re wrong. I do.” I could feel the pressure of tears building behind my eyes just thinking about it. Feelings that always lurked beneath the thinly scabbed over surface erupted, and the words poured out of me like blood from a gaping wound. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I didn’t even try.

  “Believe me. I understand pain and loss. Because I live with it too. Every single day.” I recognized the darkness in him. It was my darkness, too. “My sister Cassie killed herself eight years ago,” I choked out, giving it to him straight, hoping the truth would be bright beacon that would penetrate the black void of his suffering and show him a way out. “She took a bunch of pills. By the time I found her it was too late.”

  Much too late. But it wasn’t for him. Not yet. Not if I could make him see. Not if I could make him understand.

  My throat burned and my chest ached. “I was her best friend, but I wasn’t there. What if she was scared and called out for me?”

  I remembered shaking her over and over again, calling her name, begging her to wake up. A hot tear slid down my cheek. Something shifted in his eyes as he watched me. I wanted so desperately to believe that I had gotten through to him.

  “Cass’ pain ended eight years ago, but mine never has. I get up every day and I make myself keep on going.” I thumped my chest, knuckles touching the cold edges of the toe shoes pendant that lay between my breasts. “It’s still in here. Like jagged pieces of glass. It’s never going to go away. It hurts all the time, Warren. It hurts so much.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  War

  After she ripped out my heart with her confession, she went completely limp in my arms. It was as if those jagged pieces had actually punctured her heart and drained all of that life and passion from her. Now I understood why she’d been so intent on getting me off of that bridge.

  I eased to the floor with her. She tucked her chin to her chest, her hair sliding forward like a curtain closing over her emotions. Then she began to tremble. I had no fucking idea what to do next. Whenever Lace got upset, I always pawned her off on Bryan. A big mistake on my part.

  I was just going to have to wing it.

  I leaned back against the ottoman and pulled her onto my lap. For the present moment I ignored my dick’s demands, tunneling my fingers into that silky soft hair of hers instead. I drew her head to my chest and held it there directly over my ink. I felt her body relax into mine. Something warm and totally unfamiliar stirred within my chest in response to that simple trusting gesture.

  I pressed her even closer. Now that I’d finally got my hands on her, there was no way I wanted to let her go. She felt right and good as if this was where she was meant to be. So beautiful and yet so fiercely tragic, here in my arms, clutching that necklace in her hand.

  A wave of intense desire slammed into me. Not just to make love to her, though that impulse was undeniably strong. We seemed to be kindred spirits in our suffering, she and I. I felt that connection somewhere really deep, somewhere no one had touched before. I felt the strong need to protect her, to cherish her.

  I wanted to scale the tall tower she hid in, break the bonds of her unhappiness, do something, anything, to take away her pain. But what could I do? I wanted to help her, but how could I, when I couldn’t even get a handle on my own shit?

  I felt the humid warmth of her breath and the wetness of her tears as she cried silently. I wracked my brain for the right thing to do. She seemed to like talking a whole fucking lot, so I’d decided to go with that.

  “Tell me more about your sister.” I coaxed, sliding my hand under her chin and tilting her head back so I could look at her. Some girls looked like absolute shit when they cried, but she just seemed fragile and utterly feminine.

  She returned my gaze, blinking a couple of times through a thick fringe of russet lashes. “Cass was two years older than me. Beautiful. Graceful. Smart. Sincere. She had a laugh that could light up the room. I worshipped the ground she walked on.”

  I felt her arms thread around my waist. She laid her cheek back on my chest and got quiet again. I was too as my mind took in all that she had shared. After a while, she continued, though her voice was soft and hesitant, almost like she was afraid to burden me with more. “My parents worked two jobs each when Cassie and I were kids. Not because we lived extravagantly, our home was just a rented trailer in Newport Beach, but everything is so expensive in California. Anyway, my parents were gone much of the time, so it was mostly just Cass and me. I followed her around everywhere, like a little puppy. But she wasn’t one of those older sisters who resented it. She used to say our hearts danced to the same beat.” A little tremor shook her body.

  “What happened?”

  I felt her body get tense. “Wrong friends. Wrong boyfriend, especially. She wanted desperately to fit in somewhere I think. She started experimenting with drugs. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn’t listen to me. She started to argue with my parents all the time, and then she withdrew from everyone and everything she cared about. She even shut me out toward the end. It is the worst feeling in the world being so totally powerless to do anything but watch someone you love destroy themselves.”

  Her head tilted back, tears balancing on the tips of her lashes. Emotion clogged my throat, I could certainly relate to that feeling. I’d felt the same way with Lace, but couldn’t help her out of that shit since I’d been down there wallowing in it with her.

  A sad smile tipped up the edges of her pretty mouth, and she touched the ballet shoes pendant that hung from a delicate silver chain around her neck. “Cassie had dark hair like my mom, and green eyes like me and my dad. She was breathtaking to watch on stage. I’ve never seen anyone move the way she did. After a performance, she used to bring me up there with her, let me stand on her toes, and then she’d twirl us both around to music only we could hear.” The smile disappeared along with the volume in her voice. “I miss her so much,” she whispered. Her face twisting with sadness, and her eyes closed, blocking me out from her deepest pain.

  I continued to stroke her back, deciding now was a good time to just shut up. Sorry didn’t seem to be near enough and I figured it was better to say nothing than to say something wrong. Apparently I chose wisely for once because I felt her settle again.

  I sifted through the heavy strands of her hair, puzzling over the fact that giving her comfort somehow made me feel as if I was the recipient of something far greater. Empty space in me flooded with warmth.

  Time seemed to stand still and stretch out wide as I held onto her. She and I were at the center of something. Being with her like this, I just couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was because she’d made herself so completely vulnerable to me, maybe it was just because she was naked. Whatever it was, I knew that I liked it…

  Way to fuckin’ much.

  While I pondered that unsettling thought, I felt her relaxed body suddenly stiffen. “Let me up.” Annoyance framed her tone. “Please.” Squirming out of my embrace, she explained, “I was the one who was supposed to be helping you.”

  I laughed harshly. “There’s no fixin’ me, Sweetness.” I let her loose. She scrambled to her feet and tagged the abandoned robe. Her sudden mood shift chaffed more than I cared to admit. I didn’t know what had just happened between us or what I was going to do about it, but my eyes narrowed to slits as I watched her turn away from me, covering up those gorgeous curves as she donned the robe.

  When she turned back around, her face was closed and composed. Ok, I got the message. Apparently I wasn’t going to get to decide. She had decided for me. Sharing caring time was over.

  Fuck it. This was
good. It was better this way. I didn’t need any more complications in my life right now.

  I reached for my phone, but was taken aback when she snatched it right out from underneath my hand. She took a couple of steps away, her gaze darting across the lit up display. “Give me my cell, Shaina,” I demanded in a low not to be ignored growl… that she ignored.

  Her fingers danced over the keypad, I moved to take it from her, pissed at the invasion of my privacy. That’s what I get for not locking my screen.

  Her chin came up at a stubborn angle. “You’ve got a ton of missed calls, Warren. Bryan Jackson. Lace Lowell.” She tossed a strand of her hair behind her shoulder. “Seems like someone cares about you after all.”

  I swiped my phone from her hand. “That’s none of your concern.” My voice was harsh, like the crack of a sharp whip.

  Her body jerked in response, but she didn’t let it go. “Wrong. You made it my concern out there on the bridge. And even more so when you came here. Anyway, you owe me. You broke the rules when you touched me.”

  “If you recall I never agreed to any of those stupid rules of yours.” I tucked my phone into my pocket and took a seat, starting to work on getting my socks and boots back on so I could get the hell out of there.

  “Fine,” she huffed, and I sensed her even before she leaned toward me. Her heat and a waft of cinnamon gave her away. “If you don’t want to talk about them, tell me about your mom.” She took a seat beside me and put her small hand on my knee. My lips flattened. I didn’t like how quickly my body went all haywire in response to her.

  “You wanna know about her,” I barked, ignoring the plea in her eyes, “then look it up on the internet, Sweetness. It’s all there for everyone to see.” I stood and backed away. “This has been surreal whatever the fuck we’ve been doing, but I’ve got other shit to do.”

  “I’ll take the robe back off.” Her voice had a desperate ring to it. My boots skidded as I stopped in the foyer. She came up right behind me. I turned and saw her twisting her hands together on the sash as she peered back at me through her lashes.

  So beautiful. So sweet.

  “You gotta do better than that, darlin’,” I drawled, tilted my head to the side. “Don’t forget, I’ve already seen the goods.”

  “Ok. Right. Then, I’ll…I’ll…” Her gaze flicked around the room as if casting about for inspiration.

  “You’ll what? Come on. Spit it out. I haven’t got all day.” I wasn’t being nice. I was pushing her. Using her crusader’s fervor against her, eager to see just how far she would go. I had that kind of streak in me.

  “Stay and I’ll sleep with you in the morning.”

  Far enough for me.

  I grabbed her by the elbows, tempted to shake some sense into her. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Sweetness. I get you’ve got some crazy idea in that pretty head of yours that you have to save me because of what happened with your sister. But this is real life not some role you’re playing. And in real life fucking bad shit happens.”

  “Don’t you want to sleep with me?” The green in her eyes glassed up and her lips trembled slightly on the words.

  Fuck me.

  Fuck me.

  Typical illogical chick response.

  “Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” This time I gave in and gave her a gentle jostle. It was necessary. She didn’t like it, though. Her chin tilted at that stubborn angle again. “You can’t go around doing shit like this, Shaina. Picking up some random guy, inviting him to your apartment, offering to have sex with him. It’s not rational. It’s not sane. It’s not safe.” I could hear the exasperation in my voice and feel the irritation buzzing along like an annoying rash beneath my skin.

  “I’ve never done anything like this before,” she admitted.

  Well, thank God for that. And for some reason I had to know, though I knew I shouldn’t ask. “Why me, then?”

  “I told you already, but you’re the one who wasn’t listening,” she whispered. You and I, we’re more alike than you think. Why the hell do you think I was out there on that bridge anyway? To check out the scenery? If you hadn’t been there, I might’ve…” She shrugged like that wasn’t a huge fuckin’ deal and then her chin dropped to her chest. “I think about ending it all too. I keep having to remind myself that there are too many people who depend on me. But Warren, I’m so tired.” The paralyzing weariness that I recognized all too well seeped visibly from her sagging shoulders. “Every day feels like a struggle, and I don’t have the energy to fight anymore. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep holding back the darkness.” Her gaze recaptured mine, that inexplicable connection between us ratcheting tighter. “I understand Cass all too well now, and I thought that maybe, just maybe if I could talk you out of it, that I might find my own answers at the same time.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Shaina

  Warren’s grip tightened, and he glared at me in a way that I couldn’t quite read.

  Dammit. Why had I blabbered like that? Those were feelings I never shared with anyone, not even Alex. Though his friendship had kept me sane, my best friend was too glass half full to ever fully understand my struggle, and I definitely wasn’t ever going to admit how close to the ledge I often came to my parents. They’d send me right back to the shrink who’d counseled all of us after Cassie’s suicide. Cold and clinical, she hadn’t understood me. I must have been nuts to think that Warren would.

  I shrugged out of his grasp, swallowing hard, and moved to the windows. I stared out, not really focused on the view. I wrapped my arms around my waist and closed my eyes, trying to push everything back down inside.

  A moment later, I heard footsteps and shortly after felt his warm fingers curl gently around my upper arms. He seemed to be uncomfortable with simple affection. I probably should have given him a break and moved away, but I liked the way his warmth felt against me. The contact was a soothing balm, his presence a salve to my wounded pride. I leaned into him.

  Warren shifted slightly, his lips just barely touching the top of my head. Warmth of a different sort made my stomach flutter. My mind told my body to shut it down, not to read anything into it. He just felt sorry for me, and this was his way of apologizing for the earlier slight.

  To my dismay his words seemed to confirm it. “Ok, Sweetness. I’ll stay a while. I’m afraid if I don’t you’ll just go out and pick up another stray. We need to talk about this misguided do-good bent of yours. But to tell you the truth I’ve got nothing better to do till the funeral tomorrow anyway.”

  “Great,” I responded dully. I bit down on my lip hard enough to hurt, hard enough to force back the bitter sting of disappointment. My stubbornness had gotten me what I wanted after all, but not because he desired me, but because he felt sorry for me, and that particular distinction made all the difference in the world.

  It’d been better, I thought, if he’d just taken me up on my offer to sleep with him instead.

  But that offer had only made him angry. I’d totally misread him and the situation. I’d thought we’d connected. Perhaps it was simply one sided.

  I knew I was sheltered and naïve, but I was a realist about certain things. There was a reason I was able to keep portraying a young teen year after year on the show. My sex appeal was limited. I didn’t have the perfect Hollywood body. Too round in the hips and rear. Too light on top. I’d have to lose ten pounds and get implants whenever I finally worked up the nerve to leave the show. Sure the entertainment industry screwed with a girl’s self-image, but that’s the way the game was played. If you wanted to win big, you had to play by their rules.

  “Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?” His deep voice penetrated my thoughts.

  “No reason.” I straightened and put a little more distance between us.

  “Ok.” He looked at me funny. “Why don’t you go change? I’m sure you’re tired of wearing that robe. Then we can figure out something to do.”

  That was a direct hit, a p
iercing dart to the bull’s eye of my self-esteem. Obviously he wasn’t interested in getting me naked again. There wasn’t even a hint of the suggestive banter from earlier. It was time for me to move past it. So he didn’t want me that way. He was still here. We could still talk. What I said could still make a difference. I hadn’t yet failed him the way I’d failed Cass.

  “Alright,” I agreed softly. “I’ll be right back.” I went back down the hall to the bedroom, avoiding my reflection in the mirror as I pulled the heavy length of my hair back into an elaborate twist and secured it against the nape of my neck. I pulled on a pair of black yoga bottoms and a matching crop sleeve hoodie and returned to the living area.

  Warren was back on the sectional, boots and socks strewn on the floor, but his shirt unfortunately remained on. The remote lay across his chest and he was surfing through the channels. Without looking up from the television, he asked, “You got anything to eat?”

  Yeah, definitely totally disinterested in me that way.

  “Just some leftover fruit from this morning.” I took a seat on the other side of the sectional from him, wedging myself in the corner. “We could call room service.”

  His light brown eyes slid my way. Such sexy eyes. Deep set. Moody. Expressive. “That sounds good. I’m starved.”

  I picked up the phone from the end table beside me. “What would you like?” For some reason his gaze traveled the length of me before he answered and when he did speak, his voice was much deeper, gruffer than it’d been before. “A burger and fries and a beer would be nice.”

  “Alright.” I called in the order and when I turned back to him, I was horrified to see that he’d stopped on the teen channel and was watching my show. “Why don’t we watch a movie instead,” I suggested carefully though I wanted to beg. I didn’t like to watch myself, and I really didn’t want to watch my stupid show with him.