Lives of the Eminent Philosophers

by Pamela Mensch

  He’s Plato in front, Pyrrho behind, Diodorus in the middle.68

  Statuette of seated Cybele, Greek, c. 300 BC.

  And Timon speaks of him as follows:

  Having Menedemus as a lead weight, under his chest,

  He will run either to Pyrrho, that mountain of flesh,

  Or to Diodorus.

  And further on he has him say:

  “I shall swim to Pyrrho and to crooked Diodorus.”

  34 He was highly aphoristic and concise, and in his conversation careful and precise about the meaning of words, quite satirical, and outspoken. This is why Timon speaks of him again as follows:

  … and mixing < …> with reproaches.

  Hence, when a young man conversed more boldly than others, Arcesilaus would say, “Will no one beat him at a game of knuckle-bones?”69 To a man who let himself be penetrated and who recalled to him the doctrine that one thing is not greater than another, Arcesilaus asked whether a ten-incher did not seem to him greater than a six-incher. When a certain Hemon of Chios, who was ugly but assumed he was handsome, and always went about in fine clothes, said he did not think the wise man would ever fall in love, Arcesilaus asked, “Not even with someone as handsome and well dressed as yourself?” And when another catamite, addressing Arcesilaus as if he were arrogant, said,

  35 Am I permitted, Queen, to speak, or must I keep silence?

  Arcesilaus replied,

  Woman, why address me so harshly, and not in your usual manner?70

  When a talkative lowborn fellow caused him some trouble, he said,

  Unruly to live with are the offspring of slaves.71

  Of another, who talked a great deal of nonsense, he said that the man could not have had a strict nurse. And to some he would not even reply. To a moneylender who was a lover of learning but admitted that he was ignorant on a certain point, Arcesilaus replied,

  A hen only feels the wind’s direction

  When her interest is at stake.72

  These verses are from the Oenomaus of Sophocles.

  36 When a certain student of dialectic, a follower of Alexinus,73 was unable to properly recount one of his teacher’s arguments, Arcesilaus told him the story of Philoxenus74 and the brick makers. Finding them singing his own melodies badly, Philoxenus trampled on their bricks, saying, “Since you spoil my work, I’ll spoil yours.” Arcesilaus was genuinely vexed with those who took up their studies too late. By some natural impulse he made frequent use of such phrases as “I concur” and “So-and-so” (he would give the name) “will never agree to this.” And many of his students imitated this habit, as they did his style of speaking and his whole demeanor.

  37 He was also exceptionally adept at countering objections or bringing the course of the discussion back around to its starting point, and adapting it to every occasion. His powers of persuasion were unsurpassed. This drew even more students to his school, though they were terrified by his sharpness. But they bore this gladly, since his goodness was extraordinary, and he inspired his students with hopes.

  Exceedingly liberal in private life, he was always ready to confer a benefit, though his modesty was such that he tried to escape detection when doing so. At any rate, one day he called on Ctesibius,75 who was ill; and when he saw him pressed hard by poverty, he stealthily placed a money pouch under his pillow. When Ctesibius found it he said, “This is Arcesilaus’ little joke.” On another occasion he sent Ctesibius a thousand drachmas.

  38 By introducing Archias the Arcadian to Eumenes,76 he caused him to advance to a high rank. Because he was liberal and unconcerned about money, he was among the first to attend events with paid seating, and he was especially eager to attend those of Archecrates and Callicrates, for which the price of admission was a gold piece.77 He assisted many people and would collect subscriptions for them. Once when someone borrowed his silver plate in order to entertain friends and never returned it, Arcesilaus did not ask for it, and even pretended that it had not been borrowed. But others say that he purposely lent it, and when it was returned he made the borrower, who was poor, accept it as a gift.

  39,40 He had property in Pitane from which his brother Pylades would send him provisions. Furthermore, Eumenes, son of Philetaerus, regularly furnished him with large sums, which was why Eumenes was the only person to whom Arcesilaus dedicated any of his books. And though many people courted Antigonus78 and flocked to him whenever he came to Athens, Arcesilaus would keep away, not wishing to impose on his acquaintance. He was on the best of terms with Hierocles, the garrison commander of Munychia and the Piraeus,79 and would go down to see him at every festival. And though Hierocles joined the others in urging him to greet Antigonus, Arcesilaus was not persuaded, but would go as far as the city gates and then turn back. Even after the naval battle,80 when many approached Antigonus and sent him invitations, Arcesilaus kept silent. Nevertheless, on behalf of his native city he journeyed to Demetrias81 as an envoy to Antigonus, though his mission did not succeed. He spent all of his time in the Academy, avoiding public life. One time, out of friendship for Hierocles, he lingered in the Piraeus, discussing certain questions; and for this he was censured by certain persons.

  41,42 He was highly extravagant (was he anything but another Aristippus?82) and fond of hosting dinners, but only for those who shared his predilections. He lived openly with the Elean courtesans Theodote and Phila, and to any who criticized him he would quote the maxims of Aristippus. He was also lecherous and fond of boys; hence he was censured by the Stoic Ariston of Chios and his followers, who called him a corrupter of young men and a shameless champion of sexual license. Arcesilaus is said to have been particularly enamored of that Demetrius who sailed to Cyrene and of Cleochares of Myrlea.83 There is a story that when a band of revelers came to the door, Arcesilaus told them that he was willing to open up but that Cleochares was barring the way.84 Cleochares was also courted by Demochares,85 son of Laches, and by Pythocles, son of Bugelus; and when Arcesilaus caught them together he said he would out of forbearance step aside. In light of these incidents the above-mentioned detractors attacked and ridiculed him for delighting in renown and popularity. He was especially assailed by Hieronymus the Peripatetic and his circle whenever he assembled his friends to celebrate the birthday of Halcyoneus, son of Antigonus, on which occasion Antigonus used to send considerable sums of money to be spent on their entertainment. On that occasion he always avoided discussing philosophy over the wine; and when Aridelus86 proposed a certain subject and urged him to address it, he replied, “But this is just the prerogative of philosophy: to know the proper moment for every undertaking.” As for the accusation that Arcesilaus courted the mob, Timon, among several other things, offers the following:

  So saying, he plunged into the surrounding throng.

  And they marveled at him, like chaffinches around an owl,

  Pointing him out as vain, because he flattered the mob.

  You’re no big deal, wretch.

  Why plume yourself like a simpleton?

  Marble head of a Ptolemaic queen, c. 270–250 BC. It has recently been suggested that this is a head of Arsinoe II, who ruled together with her brother, Ptolemy II, from 278 BC until her death in 270 BC.

  Yet he was so modest that he advised his students to hear other philosophers. And when a certain lad from Chios was dissatisfied with his lectures and preferred those of the above-mentioned Hieronymus, Arcesilaus himself took him and introduced him to the philosopher, exhorting the boy to behave well.

  43 This delightful remark is attributed to him. To someone who asked why pupils from all the other schools leave them to join the Epicureans, but no one ever leaves the Epicureans, he said, “Because men may become eunuchs, but no eunuch ever becomes a man.”

  44 When his end was near, he left all his property to his brother Pylades, because he, without Moereas’s knowledge, had taken him to Chios and from there to Athens.87 Over the course of his life he had never married or had a child. On making three copies of his will, he de
posited one in Eretria with Amphicritus, and the second in Athens with certain friends; the third he sent to his home to Thaumasias, a kinsman, charging him to keep it safe. To him he wrote as follows:

  Arcesilaus to Thaumasias, greetings.

  I have given Diogenes my will to be conveyed to you. In light of my frequent illnesses and physical weakness, I decided to make a will, so that if anything happens I will not depart having in any way wronged you, who have been so deeply devoted to me. And you, more than anyone here, can be trusted to keep it safe for me, both because of your age and your relationship to me. Therefore, bearing in mind that I repose the greatest trust in you, do your best to be fair to me, so that, insofar as it depends on you, my will’s provisions will be carried out with grace and dignity. One copy of the will has been deposited in Athens with some of my friends, and another in Eretria with Amphicritus.

  He died in a fit of madness, as Hermippus says, after drinking a good deal of unmixed wine;88 he had by then reached the age of seventy-five, and no man was more highly regarded by the Athenians.

  45 My own verses about him run as follows:

  Why, pray, Arcesilaus, did you draw unmixed wine

   So unsparingly as to take leave of your senses?

  I pity you not so much for your death,

   But because you insulted the Muses with an overflowing goblet.

  There have been three other men named Arcesilaus: one a poet of the Old Comedy, another a writer of elegies, and the third a sculptor, about whom Simonides composed this epigram:

  This is a statue of Artemis and it cost two hundred

   Parian drachmas, which bear a goat as their device.

  It was wrought by Arcesilaus, the worthy son of Aristodicus,

   A proficient in the arts of Athena.

  The philosopher discussed above, as Apollodorus says in his Chronology, flourished around the 120th Olympiad.89

  Bion

  46,47 Bion was by birth a native of Borysthenes.90 Who his parents were, and under what circumstances he took up philosophy, he himself made clear to Antigonus.91 For when Antigonus, quoting Homer, asked him,

  Gold coin, minted in Pella, commemorating Antigonus II Gonatas of Macedon.

  Who are you among men, and where from? What

      [is your city, and who are your parents?92

  he, aware that he had already been maligned, said to Antigonus, “My father was a freed slave, who wiped his nose on his sleeve”—he meant that he was a dealer in salt fish—“a native of Borysthenes; he had no features, but only the brands on his face, a token of his master’s severity. My mother was the sort of woman such a man would marry, from a brothel. Then my father, who had cheated the tax collector, was sold with all our family. I was bought by an orator because I was young and charming; and when he died, he left me all he had. And I burned his writings, scraped together all I could, came to Athens, and took up philosophy.

  This is the family and this the blood from which I claim to have sprung.93

  “Such is my story. So let Persaeus and Philonides94 give up recounting it. Judge me by myself.”

  In truth Bion, though in certain instances wily, and a subtle sophist, one who had given a great many pretexts to those who wished to trample philosophy underfoot, was nonetheless affable and able to make fun of his own arrogance.

  48,49 He left an enormous number of commentaries, as well as maxims of a practical character. For example, when reproached for not pursuing a young man, he said, “You can’t reel in a soft cheese with a fishhook.” When someone once asked him who suffers the greatest anxiety, he said, “He who wishes to attain the greatest happiness.” When asked by someone whether he should marry—for this remark is also attributed to him—he said, “If your wife is ugly, you’ll have to bear her; if beautiful, you’ll have to share her.”95 He used to say that old age was the harbor of all evils; at any rate, all of them take refuge there. He called renown the mother of accusations; beauty someone else’s good; and wealth the sinews of success. To someone who had consumed his estate he said, “The land swallowed up Amphiaraus,96 but you’ve swallowed up your land.” It is a great evil, he declared, to be unable to bear evil. He would condemn those who burned corpses as if they could not feel, and yet set lanterns beside them as if they could. He often said that it is better to gratify someone else with one’s own beauty than to pluck that of another; for the latter harms both body and soul. He even attacked Socrates, saying that if he desired Alcibiades97 but restrained himself, he was a fool; whereas if he did not, his conduct was not surprising. He used to say that the path to Hades was easy to travel; at any rate, men set off on it with their eyes closed. Disparaging Alcibiades, he said that as a youth he drew husbands away from their wives, and as an adult drew wives from their husbands. While the Athenians were practicing rhetoric, he was teaching philosophy in Rhodes. To someone who faulted him for this he said, “I brought wheat to market, yet I’m to sell barley?”98

  50,51 He used to say that those in Hades would be more effectively punished if the vessels with which they drew water were intact and not full of holes.99 To a prating fellow who begged for his help he said, “I will do what I can for you, but only if you send others to plead your cause and stay away yourself.” On a voyage with some worthless fellows he encountered pirates. When his companions said, “We are lost if we are recognized,” he replied, “And I too, if I am not recognized.”100 He used to say that conceit is an obstacle to progress. Of a rich miser he said, “This man has not acquired property; property has acquired him.” He used to say that misers took care of their property as if it belonged to them, but got no more benefit from it than if it belonged to others. He said that in their youth men are courageous, but in their old age they excel in wisdom. Wisdom, he said, surpasses the other virtues as much as sight surpasses the other senses. He used to declare that we should not disparage old age, since we all hope to reach it. To a slanderer who was scowling he said, “I can’t tell whether something bad has happened to you, or something good to someone else.” He used to say that impiety made a bad partner for free speech, since

  Comic actor in the role of a kitchen slave, Greek, 350–250 BC.

  It makes a man slavish, even if he is bold-hearted.101

  We ought to pay careful attention, he said, to what sort of men our friends are, so that we may not be thought to consort with the bad or to decline the friendship of the good.

  52 At first Bion, when he studied with Crates,102 preferred to follow the Academic doctrines. Then he adopted the Cynic discipline, taking up a tattered cloak and knapsack. For what else was needed to complete his conversion to the doctrine of detachment?103 Then he switched to the Theodorean theories after hearing the lectures of Theodorus the Atheist,104 who made use of every kind of sophistical argument. After Theodorus, he studied with Theophrastus the Peripatetic.105

  He was theatrical and excelled at ridiculing everything, using common terms for things. And because he blended together every style of speech, Eratosthenes is reported to have said of him that he was the first to clothe philosophy in parti-colored robes. He had a natural gift for parody, as one sees in these verses:

  O Gentle Archytas,106 a born musician, happy in your own conceit,

  Most skillful of men at striking the highest notes of strife.

  53 He generally made fun of music and geometry.

  54 He was extravagant, and this was why he moved from one city to another, sometimes arranging a parade. In Rhodes, at any rate, he persuaded the sailors to don students’ attire and follow behind him; and when he entered the gymnasium with them, everyone turned to gaze at him. He was in the habit of adopting certain young men in order to satisfy his desire and to be protected by their goodwill. He was also extremely selfish and insisted strongly on the maxim “The possessions of friends are common property.” As a result he is not credited with a single disciple, though so many students attended his lectures. And yet he led some of them into shamelessness. At any rat
e, Bition, one of his intimates, is said to have once remarked to Menedemus,107 “As for me, Menedemus, I spend the night with Bion and don’t think I’ve experienced anything unusual.” In his conversation he often challenged views about the gods, following the example of Theodorus.

  But later, when he fell ill, the people of Chalcis maintain (for it was there that he died) that he was persuaded to wear amulets and to repent of his offenses against the gods. Lacking anyone to tend his illness, he was in a sorry state until Antigonus sent him two servants. And he followed Antigonus in a litter,108 as Favorinus says in his Miscellaneous History.

  But he died just the same, and I have taken him to task in these verses:

  55 We hear that Bion, scion of the Scythian land of Borysthenes,

  Said that the gods do not really exist.

  Had he held to that view it would have been reasonable to say,

  “He thinks as he likes; wrongly, of course, but so he thinks.”

  But in fact, when he fell ill and feared he would die,

  He who said there were no gods and would not even look at a temple,

  56 And who often jeered at mortals who sacrifice to gods,