Capturing Sosimo

by Sara Blackard

  “Why don’t you?” She hated how her voice shook.

  “Can’t.”

  Won’t was more like it.

  “I’m sorry … I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She curled her toes against the cold, wooden deck and inhaled the autumn night air to calm the nausea threatening her throat. “It’s just … I’ve protected myself for so long …”

  His jaw clenched in the moonlight. What could she say that didn’t add more insult to the wound? She should’ve told him long ago when her heart first started whispering its desire to be free from the lies. In everything but her name, she’d been more real with him than she had ever been with anyone else, even herself. Besides, she was Reagan. On some levels, at least. She squared her shoulders and took a step closer.

  “We have something special between us. You know it. Please don’t leave.” Her voice cracked at the end, ruining her strong words.

  His shoulders slumped and his head bowed, throwing his face into complete darkness. Hurt radiated off him, tightening her muscles in response. Oh God, please.

  “You’re right … but you lied.” He looked over at her then, his eyes filled with pain. “I don’t even know you.”

  She shook her head as heat bloomed up her chest. “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you everything.”

  “And there’s a difference?” His laugh came out harsh.

  “Reagan is my name now. Has been for years.” She pointed at herself, trying desperately to control the anger surfacing. She didn’t want to yell. She wanted him to see the truth. “And you want to know why? Because people only ever indulged me when my name was June because my father was the general.”

  She fisted her hands in her sleeves and peered into the dark forest that lined her parents’ backyard. Her first proposal for her Superman invention came to mind. How the injustice of the day had set her on a course to her new life.

  “When I was eighteen, I got the chance to propose my Eyes Beyond invention to the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. The project was still in its infancy, but I’d isolated enough of the problems to make it more than plausible.” She did a quick shake of her head, not wanting to relive the next part. “I had paused outside the door, trying to collect myself, when I overheard the two men I was presenting to. One asked why they were indulging a pampered teen girl in the first place. What a waste of his time it was. The other reminded the man that if they sat through this meeting and nodded their heads, the general would put all his support and weight behind a new product they wanted to push out to the troops.”

  How those words had crushed her tender heart. Not to mention that her father hadn’t thought her invention good enough on its own merit.

  “Their vacant stares and well-timed nods told me they only sat through the meeting to appease my father. When I asked my father, he said he was only trying to help.” She crossed her arms to keep her hands still. Sosimo’s firm stare turned away from her rising anger. “From that point on, I knew that the only way I wanted to make it was on my own, without what my father could do for someone influencing the decision. So I did what I needed to step out of his shadow.”

  She took one more step and jabbed Sosimo in the arm, pulling his focus to her. He rubbed his hand down his shirt and across his heart. She willed him to listen.

  “I shared more of myself with you than I have with anyone … ever. You know me, Sosimo.” Her nose stung. Her anger bled away to desperation. “You know the real me.”

  He stared at her a long time, his gaze traveling every inch of her face. Seconds passed, allowing hope to float to the surface. She bit her lip as the weight of the tension of the last two weeks lifted. He shook his head, and the weight crashed back down.

  “I have to go.” He moved past her, angling so he wouldn’t touch her. “Stay close to Cooper.”

  The click of the glass door as it slid close shattered her heart like a bullet to a glass bottle. She wobbled on liquid knees to the porch swing and collapsed on it. She didn’t blame Sosimo, not really. How could she expect him to trust her? She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her sweater around her legs. As an engine started in the dead silence of night, she leaned her forehead onto her knees. The sound faded, leaving only the harsh knocking of empty branches against themselves. All her hopes for a future beyond the lonely life she’d locked herself in rushed down her face in salty streams of anguish.

  Sosimo leaned on the railing to the dock as the sun faded in the sky, reflecting off the Potomac from light pink to dark purple. Lights from neighboring cottages blinked on up and down the river. Soon the sky would be dark, just like his mood. An owl hooted a long, mournful call, one Sosimo felt to the depth of his soul.

  He was foolish to come back to the cottage June, Cooper, and he had rented that last night of their road trip. Foolish to spend every night of the last week staring over the black water. To sleep in the bed she had, imagining that the fruity smell of her candy still lingered. He had told Cooper and Zeke he wanted to stick close for a few days just in case Cooper needed help with anything. That had been a lie, making him the biggest hypocrite of all.

  He grabbed onto the railing, gripping it with so much strength the wood bit into his skin. Good. Maybe the pain of his body would displace the pain in his heart. He growled and pushed away from the railing.

  When his phone had rung an hour earlier, his stomach had leaped into his throat, hoping June was calling. Idiot. She would never call after the way she’d poured everything out to him and he’d left her without a word.

  It’d just been Cooper letting him know she’d had a meeting with the SEP. They were excited, and everything was a go. Coop would stick around for one more night to escort her to a ball honoring the general. Apparently, she’d decided to go public with her connection to her father.

  He didn’t like how exposed her decision made her. Ironic how her coming forward as General Paxton’s daughter had frozen the blood in his veins to ice. Her going public would only make her a bigger target. He scoffed. He wanted her to be honest with him, but not the world? Yep, he was an idiot.

  He pushed his hands through his hair and let his head drop back. Staring blankly into the clouds that shifted over the moon, he thought back to that last night when he had closed his heart to her and walked away. The moonlight had highlighted all her yearnings she hadn’t hidden from her expressions. He’d stared into her face, shining with such hope, almost stepping close to hold her. Then a cloud had blown across the moon and for a second shadowed her face and cloaked his heart in fear. Did he truly know her?

  He closed his eyelids shut, and she filled his brain. Her talking to person after person about supporting soldiers while her palm trembled on his arm. How horrified she was when she’d put Eva in danger. Her tears when she’d despaired at not being able to protect Jake and Ethan.

  He looked over the water with a huff. Other moments rushed to him every time he closed his eyes. He rubbed his hand across his chest. Man, he missed her.

  She was right too. He knew her. She was more than a name. She was the woman who’d voiced deep yearnings of belonging when he’d described his rambunctious family. The desire to take her home to his madre swelled in his chest until he thought he’d suffocate.

  “Suficiente!” he whispered to the ghosts. “Enough,” he voiced more strongly.

  Turning, he stomped back to the cottage. He’d already decided, foolish as it was. The decision bound him now, the consequences of his stupid pride.

  Sixteen

  Sosimo pulled away from the cottage, determined to put distance between him and his memories of June. He’d been indulgent to hang around and wallow in his grief. He just wanted to get home to Colorado and lick his wounds. Maybe some stressful jobs could help him forget the empty cavern where his heart had been. The more dangerous, the better.

  He pulled onto the highway on his way to the airport, his mouth parched with the thought of being so far away from her. Zeke had a plane waiting for him at the airport. Sosim
o couldn’t get out of Virginia fast enough.

  The phone rang. He flinched with the intrusion. Not wanting to stop when he’d just started, he clicked the answer button on the steering wheel without taking his eyes off the road.

  “Yeah?” He flipped on his blinker to pass a slower car.

  “Rivas, this is General Paxton.”

  Sosimo swerved, nearly running into the car next to him. He waved as the car honked, accelerating to get around. His heart beat in his throat.

  “Sir, is June okay?” Sosimo pulled onto the shoulder of the road and slammed on his brakes.

  “No, soldier. She’s not.” The sharp words had Sosimo checking his side mirror to weave back into traffic and race to her. “Of course, she’s not okay. Some imbecile broke her heart.”

  Sosimo rested his head on the steering wheel as relief relaxed his muscles. She wasn’t in danger. Then why did he still want to rush to her?

  “My intel tells me you’re not doing so hot either.”

  He chuckled a humorless laugh and sat up. “Intel, huh?”

  “Listen, son.” The general’s tone lost its bluster. “I know what my Junebug did was wrong. She should have told you earlier that she’d changed her name. It’s my fault, really.”

  “How’s that, sir?” Sosimo stared at the cars as they rushed by.

  “Did she tell you about the young man who almost stole her Eyes Beyond invention?”

  “Yes.”

  The general sighed long and low. “Did she tell you he was my assistant and that I pushed for her to accept his pursuit?”

  “No, she didn’t tell me that.” A sinking feeling dropped Sosimo’s stomach to the floorboard.

  “She saw right through him before I did. My quiet little bug was even bold enough to confront me about it.” General Paxton tsked.

  The thought of June as a quiet bug made Sosimo’s neck hot. He clenched his teeth to keep from snapping at the general. June may get away with it, but years of respecting the chain of command held his tongue.

  “I brushed it off. Told her she just needed to get out of the lab more often and learn how to socialize.” The general paused. “I can tell by your silence that you’re upset.”

  Sosimo squeezed his hands around the steering wheel. “Yes, sir. June has more sense than anyone I know. And just because she’s reserved, doesn’t mean she’s quiet. She’s passionate and caring, bright like the sun shining hope on others.” Ay, caraye. Way to leave your heart out there, Rivas.

  The general chuckled low. “You’re right, son. She’s all that. Problem is, men only ever saw her as an extension of me. And me, being the numskull I am, never understood her. But I understand her now, and I think you do too.”

  “Sir?”

  “Don’t be a numskull, Rivas.”

  Sosimo sighed and knocked his head on the driver’s seat. Hadn’t he wanted to turn the vehicle around that night the instant he put it in drive? June deserved better than someone like him, someone who couldn’t see beyond his own ego.

  “Sir, it doesn’t matter. I hurt her, walked away without saying more than a handful of words. Even if she would take me back, I don’t deserve her.”

  “This is the problem with you Special Ops boys.” Gen. Paxton sighed like Sosimo’s madre did when one of her kids pushed her to her limit. “We train you to be self-sacrificing, to give up your life for another, but too often that carries into your life where you don’t need it.”

  “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t think I’m following.” Had what little intelligence Sosimo had left with his heart?

  “Son, you’re willing to sacrifice your happiness because you think she deserves better, when what she deserves is you.” The force of the General’s words slammed Sosimo in the chest. “I’ve looked into you. You’re an honorable man, Sosimo Rivas. I wish I had more soldiers like you under my command.”

  Sosimo’s skin itched at the declaration. His entire life he had strived to be more than just the dumb gearhead who couldn’t read and always got in trouble.

  “But more than any of that, I saw the way my daughter’s eyes went to you in that mess with Adam. Which, by the way, pinched like the devil. I saw the love and trust shining from her, never once doubting that you would save her.” The general’s voice dipped low. “I also saw your support for her, how you came to her defense against me even when you were upset with her. And the anguish on your face when you thought Adam had shot her.”

  Sosimo leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. The intense pain of that moment churned in his gut again. He couldn’t lose her.

  “Son, I’m telling you, she’ll take you back. If you’re willing to put aside your pride and fear, that is.”

  “I hear you Lima Charlie.”

  “Finally. All this emotional mumbo-jumbo was making me itchy.” The exasperation in General Paxton’s voice made Sosimo smile. “Saddle up, Rivas. I’ve got a plan.”

  Sosimo nodded as he listened to the mission the general laid out. The wrenching pain that had lodged in his gut eased as the plan unfolded. Though this mission might not be riddled with gunshots and kidnapped diplomats, it was probably the most important one of all.

  June sat at the table assigned to them for the dinner as the musicians played beautifully and attendees waltzed across the dance floor. She’d almost backed out of coming. The pride on her father’s face as he’d introduced her around, proclaiming to all how his genius of a daughter would save so many lives, had been worth the discomfort and anxiety.

  She’d reached her limit of interaction, though. Maybe she should’ve worn a sackcloth instead of letting her mom go shopping with her. This dress, while beautiful with its deep purple color and just enough exposed skin to still be conservative without being dowdy, had drawn too much attention. If one more man came up and sat next to her, regaling her for her beauty or smarts, she might just puke the expensive dinner she hadn’t been able to taste all over them. While her father’s pride in her had filled her heart with warmth, the bombardment of men eager to impress her, then chase their platitudes with questions of her father, made her wish she could escape to her lab. Too bad she had blown it up.

  Her hands shook as she fiddled with the napkin in her lap. She still hated these types of events, even after becoming Reagan, philanthropist extraordinaire. She’d only felt at ease during her charity event when Sosimo stood beside her.

  She rolled her eyes at herself and tossed the napkin onto the table. There she went again. She needed to stop wallowing in her self-pity. She was starting to stink of it.

  “Everything all right?” Cooper leaned close to ask quietly over the music.

  “Yeah, fine.”

  Poor Cooper. Not only did he get stuck babysitting her all week, hanging out at her folks, twiddling his thumbs, but now he got stuck sitting here, bored out of his mind. She kept telling him to go ask the multitude of ladies that threw encouraging smiles his way to dance. Even made a point of picking out the ones she thought he’d look cute with. He’d just scoffed and shaken his head.

  She didn’t know what she’d do without his calm presence. While he had a great sense of humor, it was more quiet and teasing. Mostly, he had a patience that gave him the ability to be content in just about any situation. He’d sat with her for many hours this last week just staring at the bare trees.

  Sitting on that porch, he’d shared about his own heartache, about coming home to find the woman he loved had married another. When she’d come to his defense, he’d claimed it was his own fault. They’d been friends forever, but he’d never told her how he felt. Said he had wanted to wait until he got out rather than to put her through being a Marine’s wife. His story had given her hope that maybe she’d find some peace in the days and weeks to come. June had welcomed the camaraderie and prayed he found someone who appreciated the gift of him.

  “Think it’d be all right to skip out now?” June looked around for her parents, hoping to catch their attention.

  “Maybe. You sti
ck here. I’ll just step out in the hall and coordinate our retreat.” His conspiring whisper and wink made her chuckle.

  Almost the instant Cooper left, the seat on her other side filled, like the vulture had been circling for an opening. She felt his heat as he leaned close. Please, Cooper, hurry.

  “It’s not right that the most beautiful woman in the room is sitting alone.” The deep, sultry voice froze the room.

  Her heart pounded so hard in her chest she swore it’d pop out at any moment and land on the fancy tablecloth. Sosimo leaned toward her, his soft smile not hiding the wariness in his eyes. He inched closer, placing his hand on the back of her chair.

  “Of course, if another man sat here, I might just lose it.” His whisper blew across her neck and stood her hair to attention. He rubbed the back of his fingers across her exposed shoulder. “You look beautiful, cariña. Como una flor.”

  “Why are you here?”

  She wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go, not ask stupid questions he probably wouldn’t answer. She darted her eyes around, looking for Cooper.

  He cleared his throat, drawing her attention back to him. Not that it ever left. “I’m here to beg the most amazing woman in the world, the woman I love more than life itself, to forgive a fool too stupid for his own good.”

  She covered her mouth with her fingers as she shook her head. “You’re not stupid.” She blinked to keep the tears firmly behind her eyelids.

  His eyes narrowed before he glanced around the room. “Can we find someplace to talk?”

  She nodded, her voice blessedly deciding to not work. She couldn’t trust what would come out at that exact moment. He ran his fingers down her arm, leaving a trail of fire in their wake, and clamped his hand tight within hers. He pulled her to her feet, then headed for the nearest exit. When her legs refused to move properly, he wrapped his arm around her waist and practically carried her out of the stifling room.