Unrestricted

by K. A. Berg

  “Fine, I’ll help you.” I say, taking a seat on one of the couches. “But only because you admit you were wrong and I know before everything went haywire, Ashley was very much in love with you. Every child should have their father.” I probably shouldn’t have mentioned Ashley being in love with him… Oh well!

  Tanner’s eyes are suddenly full of hope. “She loves me?”

  Yup, I definitely shouldn’t have told him that…

  “Loved. She loved you until you broke her heart. Now? Now she hates you.” I feel bad saying it, but the truth is the truth, and he’s the one to blame.

  “Hate is good. I can work with hate because it means she still feels something for me. Just help me get her to realize she doesn’t hate me, that it’s just anger. She has every right to be angry, but she needs to let me back in so I can make up for everything. I’ll make up for it forever if she just lets me,” he pleads.

  Jesus, how can I say no to this?

  “Okay, what do you have in mind?” I ask, conceding to the fact I’m now plotting against my best friend behind her back. I can only hope this is for her own good.

  “I have no idea.” He sighs. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

  “I’ll tell you this—that baby means everything to her. That might be your way back in. But I swear to God if you hurt her again, I will make a hat out of your penis and wear it to your funeral.” And I’d wear it proudly.

  “I like my penis where it is, thanks. I promise I won’t fuck it up again, Quinn,” he says earnestly. “When’s her next appointment? Does she have insurance? Is everything okay?” He asks his questions in such rapid succession it’s as if he’s afraid I’ll clam up and stop talking to him at any moment.

  “I believe her next appointment is in two weeks, but I’ll have to check. I’ve been to them all so far, and yes, everything’s fine. Yes, she has insurance, but I’m not telling you anything more about the pregnancy. It’s not my place. You’re going to have to get her to open up to you about it. There are some lines I won’t cross with this, Tanner,” I tell him. There’s help, and then there’s betrayal. I’m already tiptoeing along a fine line, and I don’t want to do that to Ashley.

  “Can you at least tell me if she’s still getting sick like she was the last time I saw her?” he asks, giving me those pleading eyes that pull at my heartstrings. No wonder Ash has never been able to say no to this man… until recently, anyway.

  “Not anymore. They gave her medication for it.”

  “Medication? Is it safe for the baby?” he asks, his voice laced with concern.

  “Yes, Tanner. I just told you everything was fine,” I answer, mildly irritated because he’s doubting my, Ashley’s, and the doctor’s abilities to make sure she’s properly cared for, but it’s hard to be mad when he looks this concerned.

  “Hey, Tag. I brought dinner!” A familiar female voice yells out from the other side of the house. I couldn’t forget that nasal voice if I tried. Why is that bitch here? And why is she bringing Tanner dinner if he’s pining away over losing Ashley?

  I stand up and step toward Tanner. “You love her, huh? If you love her so much, why is that twat bringing you dinner?” I snarl at him as I cross my arms over my chest and shoot him a look of disdain.

  If he’s trying to win Ash back, he’d better not be anywhere near Melissa or Ash will never take him seriously. I still can’t believe the bitch had the nerve to come to our place and tell her to abort her baby. After talking with Tanner, I don’t think the message came from him. I never really had, especially after hearing Melissa had claimed she and Tanner were together, but I wasn’t going to tell Ashley.

  “I didn’t know she was coming by. I haven’t talked to her all week. And she’s just a friend,” he answers with a slight panic to his voice.

  “Well, here’s your first piece of advice: get rid of that bitch. She isn’t who you think she is, and Ashley will never consider taking you back with her in the picture,” I tell him before heading back toward the door we came in. I need to leave. The longer I’m near her, the more likely I am to break her lying face.

  I round the corner into the kitchen just as Melissa lifts her head up from the bag she’s unpacking and smiles, but the smile fades when she sees it’s me.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks, looking like a deer caught in headlights. I have a feeling look of fear has something to do with her visit to our place, and seeing it confirms my suspicions she went to torment Ashley of her own accord, not to deliver any messages for Tanner.

  I know I should tell Tanner and Alex about the visit now, but if I stick around any longer, I’ll probably end up shoving my stiletto up her ass, and the last thing I need is a night in jail because of some skank.

  “I was asked to help Tanner win back the girl he loves, and she isn’t you. Your little game is up. Did you honestly think anyone was going to believe Tanner would send you to our house? Who the hell are you? You were never more than a piece of ass to him. You’ll never be on the same level as Ashley. You’re pathetic, and I can’t wait until your friends figure you out for the fake bitch you are.” I smile as sweetly as I can at her before turning back toward the hallway I’ve just come from. “Alex, can we go to dinner now?” I call out to him. “All of the cheap perfume in this room is giving me a headache.”

  Chapter Eight

  Tanner

  I didn’t see Melissa’s encounter with Quinn before I walked into the kitchen, but I know something must have happened. Melissa tried to hide the worried look on her face as soon as Alex and I came into the room.

  I’m annoyed she’s just shown up unannounced. Thank God Quinn didn’t change her mind about helping me because of it. I still can’t believe she agreed to help in the first place. I don’t know what Alex was thinking bringing her here, but I’ll have to thank him later. Now that they’re gone, I ask, “What are you doing here, Melissa?”

  “You haven’t answered my calls all week. I figured I’d pop by with dinner and check in on you,” she says with a smile as she grabs forks from the drawer and sets them on the counter.

  “I don’t need checking on,” I tell her. Why does she think she can come over without any warning? She’s never done it before. That’s not how things have worked between us—ever. Her audacity could’ve derailed everything I’m trying to do to get Ashley back. Quinn is my best chance at fixing this mess, and Melissa could’ve fucked it all up.

  “I remember how you were after the Carrie incident, and I figured you might need me.” She sidles up next to me, molding her body to my side.

  I step away from her. “The two situations are not the same,” I say frustrated. I don’t like the way she’s comparing Ashley to Carrie, and I don’t care if I sound like an asshole.

  “How are two gold-digging whores trying to trap you with a baby not the same?” She drops the Styrofoam container on the counter, where it pops open and pasta spills everywhere. Even with the mess, her attention is one-hundred-percent focused on glaring at me, the anger evident in her eyes.

  “First of all, I know I was angry with her, but Ashley is not a gold digging whore, and that better be the last time I hear you refer to her as such,” I bark, slamming my hand on the counter. “Second, she isn’t trying to trap me with anything. She hasn’t even contacted me since she first told me about the baby. She isn’t out for any money or whatever it is you think she’s after. Third, I will be doing whatever is necessary to fix our relationship and get her back.” Melissa had better get this through her damn head now because I don’t need her making this situation any worse with her misplaced anger.

  She throws her hands into the air in frustration. “Get her back? Are you insane? Have you forgotten she got knocked up, most likely on purpose, and hid it from you?” she asks, her tone laced with hate. Melissa has never reacted this way before. It’s completely out of character. What the hell happened to the girl who’s always been drama-free and sensible?

  I know it’s my fault she thi
nks Ashley has some ulterior motive, but I don’t give a shit if she’s not going to listen. Either way, Melissa’s feelings on the subject really aren’t important. I’m starting to realize I should’ve never told her about what happened between Ashley and me.

  “She didn’t get pregnant on purpose, and she didn’t try to hide it from me. I was wrong,” I admit.

  “How you can seriously be so naïve about this situation? Have you forgotten everything that happened, Tanner?” she asks in disbelief, clearly still thinking Ashley is setting me up.

  “I’m not being naïve. I’m finally pulling my head out of my ass and seeing the truth. The woman I love is pregnant, and I was a complete asshole to her.”

  Melissa’s expression turns cold and she looks at me with a rage I’ve never seen before. “The woman you love?” She says the word love as if it’s poison in her mouth. “Please, Tanner. You don’t love her. She’s brainwashed you into thinking you do. That’s what lying bitches like her do. You’ll see eventually.” She grabs her purse from the counter. “Call me when you take off the blinders you’re wearing. I can’t hang around and watch this girl make a fool out of you,” she spits before storming out and slamming the door behind her.

  Wow, I definitely didn’t see that coming, but it’s not my fault if she doesn’t understand. Based on what Quinn said to me earlier, Melissa’s only going to be a hindrance in getting Ashley back anyway, it’s probably for the best she stays away for a while. Football, Ashley, and our baby are the only things I’m concerned with right now.

  It’s Christmas, and this is the last week of regular season games. We’ve already clinched our playoff spot, so it’ll be an easy week. Since we’re leading the division, we don’t have a game next week. Coach has given us the usual speech about not expecting anything and still needing to play this last regular season game like it matters. Even so, everyone’s basically treating this week as a glorified practice, but none of us would dare say it to Coach. We don’t want to lose, but we all want to take it easy and enjoy the holidays with our families.

  I’d spent the beginning of the week orchestrating Ashley’s Christmas gifts with Quinn’s help. The day after she and Alex had been at the house, I’d called her and begged her to help me. I want to show Ashley I’m invested, and I’d thought getting her what she—no we—needed for the baby would so.

  Quinn hadn’t thought it was the best idea to buy all the baby stuff for Ashley because she might want to do it herself, but I got her to come help pick out things Ashley would like in the end. Since she’d pointed out she knows nothing about baby things, we also brought my sister along to make sure we got everything important. We practically cleared out Babies “R” Us, and I’d arranged for it all to be delivered to her on Christmas morning.

  I’ve told Quinn Ashley is more than welcome to take everything back and get what she wants if she doesn’t like what we’ve picked. It’s more about the statement to me than anything else. I want her to understand I’m ready to be a part of this family with her. I want to be a part of this and support her in every way possible. Apparently, that was the right thing to say to Quinn because she got all teary-eyed when I did.

  I’ve also called an organic specialty store and set up weekly deliveries of organic fruits and vegetables to Ashley’s house as a way to show her I care about her health and what she’s eating. I want the best to be available for her and the baby. High-quality food is expensive, but I know even without asking she would never take money from me. I’m hoping this will help.

  The third and final gift I’ve set up is a delivery of some pregnancy books. One of the books I ordered was one of those scrapbook things women can write in about all the things they go through while pregnant—doctor’s appointments, sonograms, cravings, and whatever else pregnant women think about. That gift has a dual purpose. While I want her to be able to keep track of all of her feelings and appointments and the like, I also want to be able to read all about it when things finally settle down and she lets me back in. It kills me I’m missing out on all of those things. I pray to God my efforts don’t all go to waste.

  Yesterday, after making all the necessary arrangements for all of my gifts to be delivered to Ashley, I gave out a very different collection of presents. I gave out PlayStation 4s and new computers to ten different children’s homes. The Mathis Foundation bought accessories to include in the packages, like controllers and video games. The looks on the children’s faces were more than worth the money spent. Watching the boys and girls go insane over the new video game systems and freaking out about being able to go online on decent computers was all I needed this Christmas. Well, aside from a certain woman’s forgiveness.

  I’m on my way over to Ma’s for Christmas dinner and presents, daydreaming about the way things used to be between Ashley and me, when my phone rings. Seeing her name flash across the screen makes my heart speed up, and I can’t help but think she might be calling to say thank you and finally accept my apology.

  Those hopes are squashed the moment I answer the phone and she starts screaming at me.

  “Merry Christmas, Ashley,” I answer.

  “How dare you? Who do you think you are? You don’t get to go AWOL for weeks and then decide you now want to play daddy,” she yells loud enought I have to turn the volume down on the radio as she echoes through the car.

  “I’m not ‘playing daddy,’ Ashley. I am the daddy.” I hope her hearing me take responsibility will soften her rage.

  “You aren’t shit, Tanner. You gave that up the minute you called me a lying whore and claimed you didn’t believe the baby was yours. You lost your right to be daddy then and even more so when you sent over your little messenger. I don’t give two shits who you are, Mr. Garrison. You can’t buy your way out of this.”

  Tapping my thumbs on the steering wheel, I try to figure out who this messenger is she keeps talking about. It’s the second time she’s said something about it, and I still have no clue what she means.

  “Ashley, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I never sent you any messages. Anything I’ve wanted to say to you, I have said myself. But this is my baby too, and like it or not, we’re raising it together.” I don’t want to take it to a legal level, but I do want her to understand just how serious I am about being in my child’s life. I wish she could see I’m trying to be involved, not simply trying to buy my way back in.

  “No. We’re. Not!” she says, her voice strained in anger. “I don’t want your gifts. I can and will get my own stuff for my baby. I don’t need your organic fruits and vegetables either, and I already bought my own books. Thanks for the reminder you think I’m an incompetent moron who doesn’t know how to take care of herself.”

  Wow, this is really backfiring in my face.

  “Ashley, calm down,” I say gently. I’m pretty sure her being this upset and yelling can’t be good for her or the baby. “I don’t think you’re a moron, and I know you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. I just wanted to do something nice for you. I know the way I reacted at first has pushed me out of your life. I fucked up, but I’m trying to make up for it. I want to be there for you and our baby, and since you won’t physically let me near you, this was the only thing I could think of. I have no hidden agenda…”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down! I don’t need you to do shit for me, Tanner,” she says before hanging up on me.

  Well, there goes that.

  Chapter Nine

  Ashley

  “Do you like that, Ashley?” he asks, blowing on my nipple. He covers my stiff peak with his mouth again and swirls his tongue around it in the most delicious circles.

  “Mmm,” I hum as he kisses along the valley between my breasts, making his way over to my other nipple, all the while kneading my breasts with his hands.

  “I know you do. I haven’t found anything you don’t like,” he murmurs against me, sending vibrations through my entire body and lighting my core on fire.

  “Pleas
e,” I whimper. “Please, Tanner. I need you.”

  He smiles up at me before starting his descent down my body. “I know you do, baby.”

  Goosebumps cover my body as he leaves no spot unkissed. He worships me with his lips, setting me ablaze. When he reaches my center, he kisses and licks everywhere except where I need him to most.

  “Stop teasing me,” I growl at him in frustration. I weave my fingers into his hair and try to direct his mouth where I want it.

  “You want me to eat your pussy, baby?” he asks, nuzzling his face further between my legs and running his nose up and down my slit. “It’s all pretty and pink, glistening with your juices.”

  “Yes! Yes!” I pant out. My whole body is overly sensitized, anticipating the warmth of his mouth, wanting the pleasure it knows only Tanner can give.

  Tanner replaces his nose with his tongue and runs it up and down my slit, dipping inside me. Screams of pleasure leave my mouth as involuntarily as my breath. There’s no holding back. He has me hanging on edge. The tiniest nudge and I will fall, fall into the sea of nirvana that is better than any other feeling known to man.

  He abruptly stops and moves away before bringing his eyes up to meet mine. “I’m sorry, Ashley, but I only make genuine people come—not lying gold diggers like you.”

  My eyes pop open as I jackknife up in bed. My heart is racing, and I’m covered in sweat. My panties are fucking soaked. Again. This bullshit has to stop. I can only take so many cold showers in the middle of winter.

  “Sometimes bring pregant sucks,” I whine to Quinn as I plop myself down next to her on the sofa and put my feet in her lap. I lean my head over the arm of our overstuffed blue couch and sigh. I’ve really come to love this couch. I like to rub my cheek on the soft micro-suede, and lately I’ve found myself preferring to sleep here rather than in my bed. If only it were bigger, and I could sprawl out more.