A Pure Love to Mend Their Trust

by Lilah Rivers

  She actually smiled and looked excited by the question.

  “Oh, that one is tricky. Let me think. I love the Epistles and the Psalms, and of course, the Gospels. But, I think Romans has to be my favorite. It is such an inspiring book. There is so much goodness in it!” she exclaimed.

  “I can’t disagree. I do love Romans. I wish more people read it and spent time in that book,” Jethro said. “What is your favorite part about it?”

  “Hmm, I think chapters seven, eight, and nine. Obviously, they cannot be read without the whole context of the book, but I do love those three in particular,” she said.

  Jethro was taken aback. He hadn’t expected her to have such a set opinion on it, or to have read it so thoroughly that she understood the particular and unique importance of those three chapters.

  “What’s the matter? You don’t like them?” she asked teasingly.

  Jethro laughed despite himself.

  “Sorry. I just don’t think I’ve ever heard a young lady talk about different chapters and things like the context of a scripture. I’m not saying that women are in any way incapable of understanding or reading that way, I just haven’t known any who do,” he told her.

  “I think there are more women who really read and study the Scriptures than you might know, but many of them keep quiet about their opinions. After all, we are meant to defer to our fathers and pastors and husbands, so it does get difficult when we want to share our own opinions on it,” Annie said, a bitter shrug accompanying her words.

  Jethro was lost for what to say. He hadn’t known that she would be so outspoken, or that she had this kind of wisdom.

  “Well, personally, I find it very important for a woman to know the Word of the Lord and to read it diligently. I appreciate the fact that that is important to you,” Jethro said.

  “Really? So it turns out there is one decent thing about me. That must be quite a shock,” she said, a cynical humor in her voice.

  Again, Jethro didn’t quite know what to say. Somehow, this point had turned Annie into someone rather more confident than he had ever seen her before. She was strangely firm now, whereas she had been so delicate and fragile before.

  Although her meek character had never been something that bothered him, he found it attractive that she was willing to make her point and hold to it. Moreover, she wasn’t afraid to call Jethro out on his poor behavior.

  “Anyway,” she said, seeming amused that he had stopped talking, “I didn’t ask you what your favorite book of the Bible is.”

  “Oh, yes, of course,” he said, trying to return to his train of thought. “Well, I also like the Epistles very much. I think Ephesians is probably my favorite. I also really enjoy Galatians, and this week at church, we will be in Colossians, and I have enjoyed studying it with my father.”

  “Do you help him very much with preparing his sermons?” Annie asked.

  “Some. I usually find supporting verses for him and read some of the commentaries for important notes,” he told her.

  “That is very good. I’m sure that you are learning a lot,” she said.

  “I am, indeed. My father is a good teacher, and I am thankful that he is training me in how to be a minister that honors the Lord,” Jethro said.

  “Yes, it is a noble duty. You are obviously doing the best that you can,” Annie said.

  Jethro smiled and nodded. He really was trying. It was nice having someone validate that.

  In the span of only a moment, Jethro realized that he really was enjoying his time with Annie. It was a surprise. They had only just begun their conversation, but it was already deep and meaningful for him. It was already a conversation that had purpose and a context.

  Although he knew that this was precisely what was supposed to happen, Jethro couldn’t help finding himself irritated.

  He was thinking better of Annie, yes. He was starting to think of her as … actually, he was starting to be charmed by her. This wasn’t the first time the notion had entered his thoughts, but it was the first time that he wasn’t so sure he wanted to fight it.

  It was frustrating, however, because this was exactly what he had been afraid of. Jethro didn’t want to fall for Annie. He had always known that it was a possibility, but if he fell for her, he might actually end up wanting this marriage. And then?

  What if she ended it?

  He hated to admit it, even to himself, but all of his rudeness, his harsh behavior, his lack of grace with Annie, all of it had come from the place in his heart where he was truly frightened.

  Frightened that he might like her only to be rejected by her. Frightened that he might fall in love with someone who would never love him in return.

  Frightened that his own heart would break.

  Annie had been flippant with a man’s feelings once before. She could be again. And even if his mother and father wanted this, even if this was what they had been hoping for, it didn’t mean that he had to let it happen.

  He could ask her then and there about what happened with Bartholomew and then, maybe it would settle his nerves. But something stopped him, a fear that he had been wrong about her all along, or maybe he was worried that she would only confirm his suspicions. Either way, he just didn’t know what to do.

  “Are you all right?” Annie asked, somewhat cautiously.

  Jethro could see it in her eyes. The fear that he was going to turn around and be the same brash, immature man that he had been toward her already.

  But a piece of that man had been chipped away. A piece of him was now completely subject to Annie, waiting and wondering what she might surprise him with next.

  “Yes, I’m fine, thank you. Sorry, just lost in thought regarding the Epistles. Anyway, where were we?” he asked.

  She grinned, and they continued walking.

  “I believe we were discussing the fact that you are learning a good deal from your father,” Annie said.

  “Oh, right. Yes, of course. I have learned much from him about shepherding a church and preparing a sermon. I can’t say that I have his charisma in the pulpit, but I don’t think that one needs always to have that in order to preach. A love and understanding of the Word and the ability to communicate it are what is needed,” Jethro said.

  “Yes, I agree. I have visited my cousins over in Greenvale, and the minister there is as dry as a desert, but I have learned more from his sermons than nearly anyone else,” Annie said with a laugh.

  “Ha! I know the minister in Greenvale. Reverend Cunningham. Very dull, even in a normal conversation. But, I would agree, there is wisdom in his words that are scarcely heard elsewhere,” Jethro said.

  “Strange that we should both like a minister that so many complain about,” Annie said, almost to herself more than to Jethro.

  “Maybe not so strange,” he said with a shrug.

  Maybe this was exactly how it was supposed to be.

  “Well, I see my mother giving my father those eyes of hers. She is hungry. She wants us all to go and eat a bite,” Annie said, watching her mother closely.

  “Should we return to them?” Jethro asked.

  “I think that it would be wise,” she said.

  With that, they made their way back over and Jethro found himself wishing that they had more time together to just speak and get to know one another. He couldn’t believe that their conversation had been so illuminating or that they had really managed to get along with each other.

  His mother and father looked at him as though they recognized the change. His mother’s eyes were brighter, more luminous and excited.

  His father, on the other hand, patted him on the back and gave a nod of understanding.

  And then, there was Annie. She was looking more radiant, more lovely than ever before.

  Jethro began to realize that things were actually starting to take a turn. Somehow, he was beginning to really notice her.

  The rest of their time together was brief and mostly made up of keeping quiet while their parents spoke, but w
hen Jethro got home later that day, he made his way to his room to get on his knees before the Lord.

  Everything in his heart was welling over, and Jethro recognized that there was nothing to be done but to pray.

  “Dear Lord, I thank you for the day that you gave me. This day, this time that I spent with Annie and my mother and father, this time that I was given to enjoy being around everyone, I thank you for it.

  “Lord, I am confused. I need your guidance and wisdom. I need help from the patient, loving Lord that you have always been to me. I need your grace now more than ever.

  “Until this day, I knew how I felt about Annie Blake. She was a nuisance in my life. She was in the way. She was a problem that I needed to deal with for the sake of my mother and father who wanted her to be my wife.

  “I didn’t want any of that. And then, today? Suddenly, I got to see her heart. For the first time, I began to understand why my father would have chosen her to be my wife. I learned that she really does seek you and care about you. I never knew that, never imagined it. But I want to follow where you will lead me with it.

  “If you want me to be with Annie, I need you to help me. Help me see the good in this woman who has already been so flippant about a man’s heart. Help me to handle the hope that I have abandoned for my ideal wife. Help me to deal with the pressure from my mother and father.

  “Lord, I don’t know what your plan is, but I trust that you have one. Give me strength to find it.

  “Amen.”

  Jethro looked up and saw his stack of commentaries beside his bed. He had plenty of work to do. But one of those commentaries was on Ephesians chapter five, where marriage was spoken of so clearly.

  Deciding to indulge himself and do a bit of reading on the subject, Jethro opened the book and took a deep breath.

  Whatever God intended for his marriage, Jethro was determined to be the best husband he could possibly be.

  Chapter 14

  Annie found herself in a wonderful mood after the time that she had spent with Jethro. Even after their conversation about Scripture, which had gone so well, she had sat back with their mothers and fathers, letting the conversation take them away.

  Plenty was going back and forth between them all, and Annie had been far more delighted by the day than she had expected.

  It seemed like Jethro had been as well.

  The last thing that Annie had expected from him was that he would really indulge her in conversation. And yet, he had. Not only had he been willing to talk about things that genuinely mattered, but he had been kind about it.

  It was all a bit of a shock. Annie had not been prepared to actually be … wooed. For the first time, she felt as though things might turn around for the better.

  “I think that went very well, don’t you?” her mother asked once they were all seated in the living room.

  “Yes. I am surprised to say that it did,” Annie replied.

  “That’s very good, very good indeed. Now, what do you say we talk more about the wedding? Reverend Mills has nearly everything planned out, but we still need to do some things, such as getting you fitted for a lovely dress!” her mother exclaimed.

  Although she would have loved to reply with alacrity, Annie still had some reservations. She had enjoyed her time with Jethro, and it seemed, he felt the same way. But they hardly knew one another. What if they had a chance to genuinely like one another before the wedding?

  “I wondered if there was a reason to rush it. This was the first time that Jethro and I enjoyed our time together. What if we had more time before the wedding to spend time with one another and start to like each other?” she asked.

  Her father was clearly taken aback by the question.

  “Well, if you think that you will begin to like one another, why wait? Would it not be better to begin the marriage quickly?” he asked.

  “Not if we enter into it unwillingly,” Annie reasoned. “I would be much happier if I could marry a man who actually liked me, and until there is a significant change, that looks to be unlikely.”

  “Annie, the two of you got along great today. I think that’s all we need to know. Clearly things are fine for the two of you,” her father said.

  “Father, I only think—”

  “That is enough, Annie,” he said with a quiet firmness that startled her. “You need to marry right away.”

  She wasn’t sure why he was so intent upon it, but Annie tried to humble herself and listen.

  “Ever since you ended your engagement with Bartholomew, it has been extremely difficult to have hopes for a match. You need to bear this in mind. It is only a result of your devotion to the church that I was able to arrange this with Reverend Mills,” he said.

  “I am sorry, Father. I didn’t mean to cause you so much distress. I really didn’t. I just want to be happy and to know that my future will be a blessed one with a husband who loves me,” Annie said.

  “I understand that, and it is what I want for you as well. But the two of you will figure one another out eventually. You will love one another, even if it is a love born out of commitment and nothing more. Indeed, that is what keeps marriages strong,” he said.

  “I understand,” she said.

  “It has been more difficult for me than you can possibly realize. I want my daughter to be happily married. I want you to know what it is like to have a good husband, to have the joys of matrimony that your mother and I have. The family that stems from marriage is something truly special. I wish that we had been able to have a larger family, but you still may,” he said.

  “Yes, Father,” Annie said, looking down and away.

  “Now, Reverend Mills has been willing to match you to his son, even though many in town believe that you made a grave error in ending your previous engagement. I would appreciate you giving your attention to Jethro Mills. Let him see some kind of an interest from you. It will help him along in his way. It will also curb any doubts that he has. It is quite likely that he believes you to be indifferent,” he said.

  “I have shown no indifference,” Annie argued.

  “But you have not shown a great deal of interest either. You know that his great fear is that he will be left before the wedding. I don’t mean to bring it up again, but you need to be aware of the impact of that action,” her father said.

  “I am, Father. I know how it has harmed our family and me,” Annie responded, trying to hide her anger.

  “Very good. If that is the case, then you will understand why I am so firm about this. You have a chance at marriage here because the Reverend believes you are capable of making the right choice. Now, use this chance. Show that you are interested,” he said, as though all was now final.

  Annie took a deep breath and nodded. She would do as her father instructed. It was not going to be easy, and the last thing she wanted was to act as though she was fawning all over Jethro while he was the one showing so much indifference toward her. It sounded humiliating to think of displaying her interest to a man who could barely look at her without groaning.

  Nevertheless, Annie felt prepared to try.

  What she was unprepared for was the letter that arrived for her that evening.

  “Annie, this is for you,” her mother said, handing her the letter.

  “Oh? Who is it from?” she asked, looking at where it had been addressed to her but with no details of the sender.