Starting Over

by Erin Cristofoli

  Kate nodded. “That is incredibly kind of you to let the whole office take time off for the holidays, Ben.”

  “Well, I go up north to be with my family. I think everyone should have some time off. Speaking of, what are you doing here?”

  “Uh, well, honestly, I had nothing else to do. I am, however, of the same mind as you. I don’t like leaving things left undone. I came in to straighten up my office.”

  “I was truly lucky the day you decided to work for me, Kate. Thank you again for all your hard work.”

  Kate smiled back. “I think I am all right now. I had better go back and get to it. I hadn’t planned to be here all day. Jen and I are going for dinner tonight before she flies home for the holidays.”

  She stood to leave, but the look on her face was sad, and I had to know why. “Uh, just a sec. You say Jen is leaving for the holidays? You’re not going home with her, or going to see your family?”

  She just looked at her hands and shook her head.

  “Why not?

  “I’m not really welcome there. I came here to start fresh, and I don’t plan to ever go back there.”

  “Not even for your mom?”

  “Nope, my mom and I haven’t spoken since I left. No reason to start again now.”

  “I don’t understand,” I told her, pulling her back to the couch. “Why don’t you speak?”

  She sighed heavily. Clearly, there was a lot that she hadn’t yet told me. “I have a very hard time trusting people, Ben,” she told me.

  “I know that, but you can trust me, Kate. Whatever is weighing so heavily on you, you can trust me with it.”

  Kate exhaled loudly. “I am ashamed to say it.” She took a steadying breath before continuing. “I guess it’s probably time to tell you the reason that I moved here. Honestly, I didn’t really have a choice. I had been manipulated into doing some things that I am not proud of in order to keep my family afloat, and then was blackmailed to keep it all quiet from the rest of the town.”

  I immediately tensed. Had I heard her right? Why would anyone want to hurt Kate? “Tell me what happened,” I said through clenched teeth.

  Kate sighed. “Ben, I don’t want to burden you with my problems. I’m sure this is the last thing you want to talk about.”

  “Actually,” I immediately responded, “I would very much like to talk about this. Who hurt you? Please, tell me what happened.”

  “All right, I guess I can’t keep it from you forever.” She took a deep breath and continued shakily, barely above a whisper. “I was working at a decently large company as a secretary. My boss was a complete asshole, and from day one, I hated him, but I needed the job. Well, one day I got called into his office. He told me that my performance left much to be desired. I was just as hard working then as I am now, but he wasn’t satisfied. He told me that if I wanted to keep my job, some things would need to change.

  “My dad was sick by then, and had been for a long time – cancer, multiple times. The bills added up over time, and eventually, I needed to help make ends meet. I was terrified he was going to fire me. What would I do then? So, I asked him what things he was referring to. That’s when he walked over to me and told me to stand up. He stood just off to my side, but he splayed his hand across my stomach. I know you don’t need all the details, but he wanted me at his disposal in order for me to keep my job, and so I did just that.

  “Everyone knew the trouble my family was in, and he chose to use that against me. Rumors began to circulate after a while, and I quickly became known as the whore of the town. Many of the older men in town propositioned me. All the younger ones wanted nothing substantial to do with me. I was humiliated and so was my family. I hated myself for letting things come to that.

  “When my dad died a year ago, my mom pushed me to get out of town. We never got along anyway, so I hid away until an opportunity presented itself, the opportunity to work for you. So I packed up and moved, and I haven’t looked back. There is nothing left for me there.” Kate hung her head in shame.

  It killed me to hear what that scum had done to her and to see how that affected her now. It also explained a whole hell of a lot about why she wouldn’t pursue anything with me. I pulled her to me, my body shaking with anger. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. Kate, look at me.” She looked up, her eyes filled with unshed tears. I wanted so badly to undo all of this for her. How could I make it better? How could I show her that I was the complete opposite of that asshole, and get her to trust me?

  “This explains a lot. I just wish I had known sooner. I am sorry for my actions. I imagine that they must not have been very welcome. My intentions couldn’t have been further from that asshole’s intentions, though, I promise you. I would never hurt you like that, Kate. I hope you believe that.”

  She sighed into my chest. “I do believe that, but it hurt me more than I can ever express. I don’t know how to recover my trust after that.”

  “Whoever wants your trust has to earn it. They have to prove to you that they are worthy. I want to be worthy, Kate.”

  We sat there for a little while, and then a thought dawned on me. Being that she wasn’t going home for the holidays, was she planning to stay here alone? No way. “So what do you plan to do over the break?”

  She shrugged. “I guess I will stay home.” My brows furrowed together and I shook my head adamantly. “Don’t give me that face. It’s not a big deal, Ben, honest. I am happy to cook for myself, or order in, and I am sure I can find plenty to keep myself busy.”

  “Bullshit.”

  She looked at me, shocked, her mouth open, her eyes wide. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Bullshit. If you think I am going to sit here and accept that, you are nuts. Besides, I have the perfect solution.”

  “Oh, you do, do you? Why do I have a feeling that this is going to get totally weird?”

  “You will come home with me. My family is great – no drama, lots of holiday fun, big house, and there’s always more food than we could eat in a month.”

  “I can’t just come home with you! Ben, do you not see how strange and wrong that is?”

  I rolled my eyes at her. “I don’t happen to think it is strange or wrong at all. You are my friend. We have established this already. Do you think I would honestly be able to enjoy my holiday completely, knowing that you were sitting in your apartment alone, when I had the power to do something about that?”

  “I appreciate the offer. Honestly I do, but...”

  I put my finger up to stop her, putting my cell to my ear, which I had been dialing as she tried to come up with an excuse. After two rings, a voice on the line answered, “Hello?”

  “Mom! How are you?”

  Kate’s face turned pink as she began shaking her head, waving her hands, and mouthing the word “no” over and over. Did she actually think that would stop me?

  “Oh, hello, sweetheart. How are you?” Mom asked.

  “I’m doing great, Mom. Look, I’m calling because I need to ask if it’s all right if I bring my friend up for the holidays. Kate is new to the city, and she has nowhere to go.”

  Kate stared at me, dumbfounded, running her hands through her hair.

  “A girl? Are you telling me you have a girlfriend you want to bring home to your family? Oh, sweetheart, I thought I would never again see the day!”

  “Calm down, Mom. Kate is my friend as well as my assistant at work.”

  “So she isn’t your girlfriend? No romantic feelings?”

  I glanced at Kate. She had moved to the window, no longer listening to what I was saying. “I didn’t say that... I’m working on it.”

  Mom squealed in my ear. “Oh, this is very exciting! Of course, you have to bring her up!”

  “Thanks, Mom. I’ll see you Wednesday night.”

  “All right, sweetheart! See you then!”

  I ended the call and walked to Kate. “You should have heard her. She is very excited to meet you. Now, you have to come with me.”<
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  Kate turned to look at me with a frown. “Ben, why do you do these things to me?”

  “You are going to have a wonderful time. I promise. There’s so much that goes on with my family for holidays. They’re really big on tradition. Trust me when I say, it’s never a dull moment. We’re leaving Wednesday, so I’ll come and pick you up around three pm. Pack lots of warm clothes. It’s cold up there.” I couldn’t help grinning at her.

  After a moment, she managed a small smile. “Thank you for inviting me into your family’s home. It’s very nice of you.”

  “That’s what friends do, right? They look out for each other. On that note, I am going to look out for you and tell you to get back to whatever I interrupted, so that you don’t miss your dinner date tonight. “

  Kate nodded and returned to her office.

  My goodness, I was feeling antsy, and I was trying so hard to not let it show that it was starting to drive me crazy. I had really hoped to connect with Sir before heading up north with Ben, but we hadn’t been able to find a time that worked. Not that I would admit it to anyone other than myself, I was a little disappointed.

  Of course, it didn’t help that there always seemed to be some sweet sexual tension between Ben and I. I had hoped that getting some action with Sir would help me get through the next few days without going completely mad with need.

  I had packed up the warmest things I owned in a duffel bag, as well as the gift I had gotten for Ben, and waited for him to arrive. When the bell downstairs rang, I nervously grabbed my bag, a large gift bag for his parents, my camera case, and purse, and headed down to meet him. Ben took my things and loaded up the SUV. Another car?

  “Are we all set?” he asked me, rubbing his hands together to warm them. His mood was light today, an easy smile fixed on his lips. I guessed it was because he was going to see his family.

  “You like the holidays,” I observed.

  “Indeed I do, and after this visit with my family, you will too. I can guarantee that. What’s with the gift bag?”

  “It’s just a little something I put together for your parents. I wasn’t sure what they like, but I didn’t want to come empty-handed,” I confessed.

  “You really didn’t need to do that. My mom is just so excited to have someone new for the holidays, she is practically beside herself.”

  “I still feel a little like I am intruding,” I admitted.

  “This is going to be great. Don’t worry.”

  I realized I really knew nothing about Ben’s past. “Tell me about your parents. What are they like? Are you an only child?”

  Ben unleashed a megawatt smile as he replied, “My mom and dad really are wonderful. Everything I have, I owe to their dedication to helping me succeed in life. They are still completely in love with each other after thirty-seven years of marriage, and they are really down-to-earth. They live on a farm, with a large apple orchard and a forested area in the one corner of the property. I have an older brother and a younger sister. Samuel is two years older than me, and Audrey is three years younger. I wish I had the chance to spend more time with them, but Sam lives in Montreal and Audrey stayed with my folks to help with the farm.”

  “I had no idea you had such a large family. You haven’t said anything about them in all the time we’ve spent together.”

  He shrugged. “It never comes up in business, and up until recently, you and I haven’t really discussed much personal history. I’m glad that fact has changed with us.”

  I looked out the window and watched the outskirts of the city zoom by us. Before long, there was nothing but fields and trees. It certainly was a beautiful sight, and I found myself starting to feel a little homesick. There was nothing more beautiful than a view of the Rocky Mountains, and I wondered if or when I would ever see the mountains again.

  About an hour into our trip, Ben took an exit off the highway. Butterflies started up in my stomach. “Are we there already?”

  Ben smiled with a quick glance to me. “You sound nervous. No, we still have a ways to go yet. Not that it will mean much to you, but we are heading to a place called Mount Forrest. My folks live just outside of there.”

  I sighed quietly, and Ben smiled again. I guess he heard me.

  “You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I’ve never met anyone’s parents before.”

  That made Ben chuckle. “You make it sound like they won’t approve of you. I know we aren’t dating, but trust me, they are thrilled. After all that stuff happened with me, they are just glad to meet anyone new in my life, even if it’s platonic.”

  I squirmed in my seat, really hoping they didn’t have the wrong idea about us. I trusted that Ben had set them straight, though.

  Ben switched on the radio, and Christmas music filled vehicle. It was nice cheery tune, and by the second song, I realized that both Ben and I were humming along. We looked at each other and smiled. Christmas really was a wonderful time of year.

  My father had been a huge fan of Christmas. I rubbed the tattoo on my neck lightly; I missed him terribly. If all that Ben had said about his family was true, I knew being with them for the holidays would no doubt ease the ache I felt when I thought of my dad.

  It was another hour before we saw much of anything. The sun was beginning to slowly set, and the colors of the sky were breathtaking. I pulled my camera from its case and snapped a couple of pictures.

  “You brought a camera? My family is big on capturing moments as well. Hey, maybe you can get a couple of me with my folks?”

  I nodded. “Of course.” Turning myself toward Ben, I snapped a couple shots of him driving. “Just capturing the moment.” I giggled at the face Ben made and managed to snap the silly shot of him as well.

  “This,” Ben motioned around us, “is Mount Forrest. We are about five minutes from the farm.”

  I pulled the visor down and glanced at myself in the mirror. I had definitely looked better, but it would have to do. After reapplying my lightly tinted gloss, I ran my fingers through my hair.

  “Stop it, woman. You’re gorgeous. You don’t need to primp for anyone.”

  I felt myself blush. “I don’t want to meet your parents looking like I’ve been in a car for two hours. What can I say? It’s the girl in me.” I began to play with my hair again, and he actually slapped my hand away.

  “You need to stop. You’re distracting me. Your hair smells amazing, by the way.”

  A few moments later, we pulled onto a long driveway. I looked up, and ahead of us was probably the most beautiful house I had ever seen, the complete opposite of what I had expected. It was an amazing two-story, ranch-style home, with a beautiful wrap-around porch, that stretched out widely before us. I could imagine sitting out there on a summer night. I tried to take it all in, but I was overwhelmed.

  “Wow,” was all I could manage.

  Ben glanced at me. “Yeah, I know. Two Christmases ago, my gift to them was a remodel. Last summer, they turned it into what they had always dreamed it would be.”

  We pulled up beside another car, and Ben shut off the engine. He came around to open my door, and I took that moment to take a deep breath. Ben grabbed our bags from the trunk, refusing my protests and offer to help. When we got to the front door, we paused briefly and Ben smiled warmly down at me before throwing the door open and ushering me inside.

  “Mom, we’re here!”

  A beautiful older woman with graying hair appeared, who must have been Ben’s mom. She grabbed him and hugged him tightly. “It’s about time!” she exclaimed.

  Ben turned to me. “Mom, this is Kate. Kate, this is my mom, Eleanor.”

  “Mrs. Hyde, thank you so much for welcoming me into your home.”

  Ben’s mom, to my surprise, pulled me into a warm hug. “Please, call me Elle, and thank you for spending the holidays with us. I am sure by now that Ben has told you all about our love for the holidays. I couldn’t be more pleased that Ben invited you. No one should be alone for Christmas. Plea
se, come inside and get your coats off. I just have to dash back to the kitchen to check on dinner. Ben, show her around the rest of the house. Oh, and I’ve given you the adjoining rooms at the end of the hall. Lewis! Come and meet our guest!”

  A man, who had to be Lewis, appeared. He stood tall, with the same unruly brown hair Ben had, and shook my hand with warm smile. “I’m Ben’s father, Lew. It’s lovely to meet you, Kate. We hope you will be comfortable here.”

  Lew excused himself and headed upstairs with our bags, while Ben grabbed my hand to show me the rest of the house.

  Upon entering the front door, there was huge, dark, wood stairwell in the large front hall. To the left of the stairs was a den or office, and to the right was a walk-through sitting room. We walked through the sitting room under a beautiful archway that led to the rear of the house. Though the room had an open concept, there were three distinct spaces. The room opened up first into a large state of the art kitchen, with rustic woods and a rich orange color on the walls. The kitchen flowed around and turned into and large dining room, and then flowed again into the most amazing living room I had ever seen.

  “This reminds me quite a bit of the lodge in White Christmas. Do you remember?” I asked without taking my eyes off the amazing space.

  “I do remember. I’m pretty sure that was intentional, as they love that movie.”

  There was a large circular fireplace in the middle of the space, surrounded by overly large, plush navy couches that looked inviting after the long drive. The walls surrounding the room were stone halfway up then continued with rustic wood that reached all the way to the cathedral ceiling. I decided then that if I ever got my dream house, it would have an exact replica of this room in it.

  “This is stunning. When can I move in?” I joked.

  Ben laughed. “I wouldn’t say that too loud. My mom might decide to adopt you. Come on. Let me show you my favorite part of this house.” He grabbed my hand, along with a blanket from the couch, and pulled me toward a set of double doors that led outside.

  As we walked through, Ben murmured, “I know it’s cold. We won’t be out here long.” He wrapped the oversized blanket half around himself and opened up the other side for me to snuggle into. Being this close to Ben was beginning to make my head spin. His musky, spiced wood cologne scent enveloped my senses, as my body seemed to fit perfectly against him. “I wanted you to see this view. I know it isn’t much now, with the trees all bare, but I used to sit out here on the porch for hours growing up, just staring out onto the farm. Beautiful, isn’t it?”