The Missing

by Kiersten Modglin

  “I assumed you knew how to clean it or whatever… You’re the one always bragging about hunting.”

  Her hip cocked out to the side, and though I couldn’t see her face with her back to me, I knew she was grinning. “And you don’t?”

  “No,” he said. “I can clean a fish, but I don’t know anything about real animals.”

  She snorted, taking the knife finally. “Okay, A, fish are real animals. And B, please don’t ever call yourself Daddy again.”

  As she set to work preparing our dinner, James instructed Noah on how to help him with the fire, and Harry and I filled the coconut shells with water, placing them delicately on the stones of the fire until they boiled, which seemed to take forever.

  Once dinner had been cooked, the water was cleared to drink, and the sun had set, we all settled into the evening, relaxing by the fire with full bellies and wet hair from playing and rinsing off in the water.

  Harry had told us he’d wake us up bright and early, but as none of us had any alarm clocks, he was just guessing like we’d done the morning before.

  “I was thinking…” I propped myself up, my elbow in the dirt, cheek resting in my palm. “Once we get up there tomorrow, one of us should turn on our phones. Just to see if we have service.”

  “We didn’t have it on the beach,” James said skeptically. “You think we’d have it somewhere higher up?”

  We all looked at Harry, who seemed caught off guard by the question. “I mean, it’s always possible, I guess.”

  “But not probable?” I asked.

  “Well, I would think if we had access to a cell tower anywhere on the island, we’d have access to it just about everywhere. I mean, maybe not in the depths of the jungle, but out in the open where everything’s clear… I just wouldn’t expect it to be any better. But, I don’t know, guys. Believe it or not, there are things I actually don’t know a lot about. I live in the city. For as long as I’ve had a cell phone, I’ve never had to worry about service.” He traced his finger through the dirt. “It’s worth a try, at least.”

  Noah lit up, giving that same lopsided grin he so often did. “Well, whaddya know, Boy Genius doesn’t know everything after all.”

  “I never claimed to know everything,” Harry said. “I just happen to know a few things.” He pushed himself into a sitting position, fiddling with a blade of grass. “And those few things are probably the only reason we’re all alive right now, Noah, so maybe lay off a bit.”

  “Easy, hoss, I’m just playing with ya.”

  Ava twirled a finger through one of her curls. “Relax, Harry, Noah doesn’t know how to communicate with people unless he’s insulting them. Some of us never learned people skills.”

  “Fat load of good people skills would do me out here, Princess,” he snipped.

  “Some of us are making friends,” she said, looking up at James, who was on his side lying just above her, her head resting on the ground in front of his stomach. Apparently, they’d made the decision to no longer hide whatever it was they had going on. The line had been drawn, and Ava and James were firmly on one side together while the rest of us, the outsiders, were alone.

  Without a pact.

  James ran a hand over Ava’s arm and moved to stand. “I need to take a leak.” He tossed the bone he’d been picking at to the ground and walked away from the group, standing near the edge of the clearing to get some privacy, but not so far that we couldn’t still see him.

  Suddenly, Ava clutched her stomach, shooting up and running toward the opposite side of the forest. Before she’d made it, the vomit had begun spewing out of her mouth, and I heard her coughing and gagging as the sickness overcame her. I stood, too, trying to get near her, but this time it was James who rushed to her side, his hands holding her hair back. I stared at the hog carcass, my stomach churning, as I tried to convince myself I was just imagining the ill-timed nausea.

  Harry and Noah were still. By that point, we were all so used to the terrible smells of living with four strangers, none of whom had washed in days, that nothing seemed to bother us too much.

  When she’d finished getting sick, Harry handed a coconut shell to James, who handed it to Ava, lifting it to her mouth gently. She sucked the liquid down.

  “Why does it feel like I’m the only one getting sick around here?”

  “Do you think it could’ve been the meat? Or the water?” Ava stopped drinking as I asked the question. “Maybe we did something wrong with cooking it?”

  “It could be either,” Harry said, still playing with the strand of grass in the firelight. “I guess we’ll know if someone else gets sick.”

  My stomach lurched, and I forced the thought down. I wasn’t getting sick. I was fine. I’d just watched someone else get sick, and it made me feel queasy. But the truth was, I was terrified. I’d had food poisoning once in college and spent the next day and a half in the bathroom. All I remember of that time is pain and the cold floor digging into my knees, and the agony of the emptiness I felt, unable to keep anything down. I’d thought then I was going to die, and that was in the comfort of my own home, surrounded by clean water and medicine and access to medical care if things got too bad. I couldn’t imagine dealing with it here where we lacked…well, everything.

  “I feel much better,” Ava tried to reassure us. “Honestly, it just hit me. I’m probably dehydrated again. I haven’t gotten sick since yesterday, and that was just from coconut water.”

  James led her back to where they’d been sitting, and they sank to the ground together. The night sky was dark and cloudy, the wind blowing just enough to keep it too cool for comfort, and we each seemed lost in our own heads.

  I lay back on the grass, thinking about all that had happened and willing myself not to be sick. Not to feel sick. I heard Ava giggling about something that James had whispered in her ear, though the rest of us were not privy to the joke.

  I felt eyes on me.

  I looked over, expecting to see Noah staring at me, but to my surprise, he was staring into the forest, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. I looked down toward my feet, where Harry was lying. He was still playing with the grass, occasionally stoking the fire to keep it going.

  Why, then, did I feel like someone was watching me? I looked toward the woods then, thinking about the woman I thought I’d seen earlier. The one Noah claimed hadn’t existed. But, thinking back, I could’ve sworn I caught a glimpse of face. Her long, pointed nose. Fearful, blue eyes.

  Or…maybe I was wrong.

  Maybe they were green…

  The next thing I knew, I was waking up, not realizing I’d even fallen asleep, and there she was. Staring at me from beyond the trees. The blonde woman I’d seen earlier.

  I jolted up in a flash, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Who are you?” I demanded, scrambling to my feet.

  As soon as I’d moved, she turned, bounding away from me with stealthy footsteps. She disappeared behind a tree, but the white of her clothing stuck out as she hurried through the dark woods.

  “Wait!” I cried, sleep still clouding my thoughts. My legs were heavy, my head foggy as I raced toward her. My foot caught in a thicket of weeds, and I fell forward, smacking into the ground thanks to my still-slow-from-sleep reflexes. I groaned, pushing myself up, and cursing aloud as I realized I’d lost sight of her. Which direction had she headed?

  I heard a branch crack behind me and turned around, shocked to see Harry with his machete held out. “Are you okay? What are you doing?” he demanded, lowering the weapon and helping me to my feet. He dusted me off carefully. “You scared the hell out of me. I thought you’d been taken.”

  “Did you see her? Did you see the woman?” I asked, still looking around and hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

  “What woman?”

  The hope in my chest deflated. “She was just here… The woman from earlier. She was watching us.”

  He looked around, spinning in circles to see every angle. “I didn’t see anyone out here excep
t you. Where did you see her?”

  “She was in the clearing with us, near the trees. When I woke up, she ran away. I was trying to catch her, but I tripped…” I tried to catch my breath, still searching the woods for her. She had to be there, she just had to. “I tripped, and I…”

  “Do you ever sleepwalk?” he asked carefully, placing a hand on my shoulder again.

  The look I gave him must’ve been abrasive, even in the moonlight, because his head jerked back and he frowned, then attempted to smooth things over. His thumb caressed my shoulder. “My daughter did. When she was young… She used to terrify my husband and me. We’d wake up, and she’d just be standing in our room.” He shuddered, just from the memory.

  “I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

  “Daisy,” he said. “She’s twelve now. Grew out of the sleepwalking years ago.” His voice cracked as he said her name, and when he looked away, I knew he was pretending not to wipe his eye.

  “I wasn’t sleepwalking,” I said firmly. “I know what I saw.”

  He didn’t look convinced, but refrained from arguing anyway. Instead, he put his arm around my shoulder completely. “We need to get back. Before the others wake up and wander off searching for us. If the woman was here, she’s long gone now.” He looked to the sky. “It’ll be light soon, I’ll bet. You and I can stay awake until then, in case she comes back.”

  I nodded, though I didn’t want to leave, and let my feet carry me back to the pseudo-safety of our fire.

  “Daisy must miss you,” I said, wondering why he hadn’t mentioned her before.

  “They probably don’t even know I’m gone yet,” he said, his tone harsh.

  “What do you mean?”

  He sighed. We’d reached the clearing where the others were still sleeping soundly, and he sat down beside me, keeping his voice low.

  “It’s not my proudest moment, but when I left, Drew and I were in a fight. I told him I needed some space, that I was going to visit my parents for a few weeks.” He shrugged. “For all I know, that was the last thing I said to either of them. I called Daisy the day before we came here, but she didn’t answer. Drew was supposed to have her call me when she got home from practice, but she didn’t before I got on the boat.”

  He shook his head dramatically. “This isn’t like me. I’m a planner. I plan everything. I plan our outfits, our meals…and I just…got on the damn boat. Just on a whim. What could go wrong, right?” He gave a dry, sarcastic laugh. “The one time I take a risk, and this is what it gets me.”

  “It’s not your fault, Harry. You know that.”

  “Then whose fault is it?” he demanded. “Because it sure as hell feels like mine. It was so hard for us to adopt her. We used our entire life savings, spent months waiting, and now, because I had to throw a temper tantrum over a canceled vacation nonetheless, all of that amounts to nothing. She’ll grow up without me because I was selfish.”

  He was crying then, no longer trying to hide it. I sat in silence, in horror, at not knowing how to console him. Despite feeling so close to him because of all we’d gone through, he was still mostly a stranger.

  “You weren’t selfish. You were human. People are allowed to feel disappointment, anger… It’s normal. But, in the face of all the uncertainty and darkness, you are the reason we’re still here. You said it yourself today, everything you’ve known about keeping us alive, all the books you must’ve read to get that knowledge—you’re the reason we’re alive, Harry. I don’t doubt that for a second—”

  “You’re trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it, but you guys would’ve been fine without me—”

  “I would’ve never guessed we could use coconuts to boil water. I thought for sure they’d burn up. And I definitely thought moving water was safe to drink. None of us had any idea how to build a shelter. The list goes on, and on top of that, you were the one keeping calm when we arrived. You were the one who knew what to do, what to gather, what to assemble… You saved us all.” I watched him try to temper his growing smile, then added, “What happened to us… The people who brought us here are the only ones to blame. You have nothing to feel guilty about. And we’re all going home, okay? We’re going to find our way off the island and get out of here.”

  “You really think so?” he asked, stifling a yawn.

  I looked up toward where I knew the mountain was, despite being unable to see it in the darkness. “I know so. You’re going to see Daisy again.”

  He swiped his finger under his eye. “I’m sorry I had a meltdown. I’ve just been trying so hard not to think about them, and the dam broke.”

  “You don’t have to apologize to me,” I said, willing him to look at me. “I think meltdowns are absolutely warranted right now.”

  He chuckled, sniffling. “Do you have kids?”

  “No. It’s just me and my husband.” Was it inconsiderate to say I hadn’t wanted any when he’d had to work so hard to have a child of his own?

  He was quiet. The wind began to rustle the trees around us, and I felt a drop of dew touch my cheek. “I’m glad they found each other.” He jutted his head toward Ava and James, cuddled together in the dirt. “No one should be alone out here.”

  “We aren’t alone,” I told him and watched as a shiver ran through his body.

  “Is it selfish to wish he were here with me?” He sniffled again.

  “Your husband?”

  He nodded. “I mean, obviously, I’d much rather I be with him, but I just keep thinking… I would do anything to have him here right now. I’d do anything to hold him and tell him I’m sorry. To get through this together and brag about it at our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.” The laugh he released through his tears was heartbreaking.

  “I know what you mean. I wish my husband were here, too.” I didn’t know if it was the truth, even as I said it, but it felt like the right thing to say. Of course, it would be nice to have someone I knew here. Someone I trusted. It would be nice to cuddle up with my husband, to let him make me feel safe. But did he make me feel safe anymore? It was hard to tell. It had been so long since we’d been together, alone without the constant interruptions from his phone or laptop. Did we even know who we were without the buzz of incoming emails? When was the last time we’d held eye contact for an entire conversation? Out here, I was worried our deepest flaws would be front and center.

  “It’s okay, you know,” Harry said after a pause, “to look for comfort somewhere else. What we’re going through is traumatic. We don’t know if we’ll ever see them again.”

  I looked at him, scowling, but the fact that I’d been staring at Noah as my thoughts were with my husband hadn’t gone unnoticed by either of us. “I’m just trying to get us off the island. I don’t have time for comfort. And we will see them again.” I emphasized the words, needing us both to believe them. “We’re getting off this island, Harry. All of us.”

  His lips grew tight, and he said nothing else, so I sank back onto the ground, resting my hands on my chest as I breathed in and out, repeating the words over and over, trying to make myself believe them.

  We’re getting off this island.

  We’re getting off this island.

  We’re getting off this island.

  I had no idea how wrong I was.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When I woke up again, the sun had begun to peek over the horizon, painting the sky brilliant shades of reds, blues, and purples. I sat up, taking off the shirt Noah had lent me and rinsing my body in the stream. Ava began to stir, waking James up as well, and I smiled at her when she opened her eyes.

  I finished rinsing off, dabbing the water across my skin carefully, and pulled the shirt back over my head. The bikini I’d been wearing for days now had begun to chafe and rub, and I desperately wanted to take it off but had nothing to replace it with. I knew everyone was likely dealing with a similar situation.

  “Morning,” I said, when Ava sat up.

  “Morn—” she stopped, he
r face full of confusion. Then, she scrambled to stand and rushed toward the tree line again, emptying the remaining contents of her stomach. The combination of the rising sun and the noise of her retching drew Noah and Harry from their sleep as well, and Harry rubbed a hand over his eye.

  “Ava?” James rushed across the clearing, reaching for her. He looked at me. “Do we have any more water?”

  “I don’t want—” She tried to speak, but was interrupted by more sickness.

  “We don’t have any more anyway,” Harry said, “but we can boil some.”

  “Is it the water making her sick?” Noah asked, his voice deep from sleep.

  “It can’t be,” Harry told him, reassuring us all. “Not if no one else is sick, too. It has to be something else.” He sat up, his body hunched over in thought. “It could be blood sugar… Are you diabetic? We already asked you that, didn’t we?”

  Ava dabbed her mouth, staying still for a few moments as if to make sure she wasn’t going to be sick again. Then, she shook her head. “No, I’m not diabetic,” she croaked out.

  At Harry’s question, I remembered the day we’d gotten off the boat, how weak Ava had felt then. We’d asked her the same questions… That felt like a lifetime ago.

  “You said you don’t have any illnesses, right? I’m not trying to pry, but if you’ve missed your medicine for a while, that could explain why you’re the only one who’s sick.”

  “No, nothing like that. I’m healthy,” she said. “No medicine except a multivitamin I usually forget to take and melatonin to help me sleep.”

  “Then what could it be?” James asked, resting his forehead against her temple. “She can’t travel like this.”

  “James, I’m fine, I—”

  “No,” I agreed. “He’s right. Harry, we can’t have her traipsing all around the island while she’s obviously sick. It could be any number of things: a parasite, dehydration, some weird tropical island sickness…”

  “We have to get to the cliff,” Harry argued, his tone soft and understanding. “I hear what you’re saying, I really do. But it’s the only way to see what’s around us and figure out a way out of here. We have to go.”