“Ava, I…” I trailed off, still trying to process all I was being told. “I’m sorry for whatever happened with your parents, but you need to tell us these things so we can be prepared.”
“Prepared for what?” James asked, suddenly angry. “For her to give birth here? Without access to medical care for her or the baby? How can you ask her to do that?”
Suddenly, it hit me. All of it. I understood what they were trying to do and why. “You were trying to get her home.”
He nodded, taking her hand. “It was the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make.”
“We’ve looked for every way out of it we can,” Ava said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I just can’t give birth here. I can’t do it. Please understand…”
“Well, you aren’t killing us. Not without a fight,” Noah said, moving his shoulder in front of mine.
“This is what they want,” I said. “Don’t you guys see that? This is all they want. They want us to fight. To choose. But we can’t. If we do, they win.”
“And if we don’t?” James asked. “Look, I don’t want to die any more than anyone else, but can we really just live our lives out here? Eventually, we’re all going to die. Whether it’s an accident like Harry’s or an animal attack, or we just end up killing each other, someone will be the last one standing. But we have a chance right now, to choose to do the right thing. To save a life. Two lives, really.”
“At the expense of ours,” Noah argued.
“You were going to take the choice away from us. I don’t understand why you couldn’t just come to us. We would’ve figured something out.”
“Something like what?” Ava asked. “We didn’t know if we could trust you at that point. Harry’s death was still fresh, and we had no idea who else was on the island.”
“But you could’ve told us any time up until this point.” I gestured toward the berries. “Poisoning us, though? This wasn’t the way, Ava. We trusted you.” James met my eye. “Both of you.”
“So, what now?” Noah asked. “You’re obviously going to try to kill us again, even if we let you live now.” I saw his hand tighten around the gun again, watched him raise it slightly.
“You aren’t going to touch her,” James growled. “We stopped it from happening. She stopped me.”
“Because she knew you’d die first and we’d realize what had happened, and then she’d be outnumbered,” he spat. They were nose to nose, both seething with anger.
“Listen! Wait. I think I have an idea.” I pulled Noah back, forcing the men to step apart as they waited for me to elaborate. I wasn’t sure it was the best idea, but I had to think of something before someone ended up hurt. “Look, there’s this woman.”
“Not this again,” Noah groaned.
“She’s real,” I said firmly.
“Who’s real?” Ava asked.
“The woman I saw in the woods. She…she lives here, on the island.”
“Where? In the cliff house?” James asked.
“I don’t know… I don’t think so. She said…she said they brought her here.”
“They?” Ava asked.
“The people in the cliff house, I think. She said they’re dangerous and that she was a friend.”
“Of ours or theirs?”
“When did you talk to her?”
The questions flew at me as I tried to make sense of the memory, recall what she’d said. “Last night.” I flashed an apologetic look at Noah. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. She said I couldn’t.”
“I don’t understand… What did she want?” he asked, looking distraught that I hadn’t told him. I knew it was a betrayal that would take a while to recover from, but this was important.
“We didn’t talk for long. She’s been following us for a while. I keep seeing her. She said that they brought her here and that we shouldn’t try to leave. She said they’d kill us if we did.”
Ava whimpered.
“I think she’s like us. Maybe she managed to build a shelter somewhere. If we could find her, I mean, she’s survived here this long, and she was dressed in nice, clean clothes. She obviously isn’t living in the wild. If we can find her, maybe she can help us figure out a way to help Ava. And the baby.”
“So she told you where she lives? Or where to find her? Did she say she’d come back?” James asked, hope in his eyes.
“No,” I said plainly. “She ran away before I could find out too much. But she must be somewhere close because she’s overheard some of our conversations, about the raft in particular. I think she must be running from them, too. She said they’re always watching.” A chill ran down my spine as I recalled the warning. “So we have to be careful.”
“So what? We’re supposed to search the whole island?” James asked skeptically. “That could take months!”
“We could split up and choose sections to explore each week and—”
“Meanwhile she’ll be more and more pregnant, and there’ll be less chance of her surviving any sort of escape attempt. We can’t wait that long. Please…please help me save her,” he begged, tears in his eyes. How could he care this much for someone he’d just met? But, thinking of Harry, and of Noah too, I knew. I knew because I felt the same love for the strangers I’d spent the last month of my life with. I knew because I knew I’d do anything to save them.
But how could we trust them? There had to be another way.
“Why should we when you just tried to do this? Even after you were awful to us this morning, even when you’ve been cold to us for weeks… We fed you, we took care of you. We were in this together, but now we’re not.” Noah took a step back. “I’m sorry you’re pregnant. And that you’re scared, but Katy’s right. This wasn’t the way. You guys are on your own. There’s no use pretending we’re together anymore, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to traipse around the island, putting myself in danger, for the person who was just about to have me killed. No, sorry, but no.” He turned, storming away quickly, and I rushed to follow him.
“I’ll be back,” I called, looking over my shoulder to where they stood to be sure they weren’t going to shoot us from afar. Maybe Noah was right. How would we ever trust them again after what they’d done? How could I turn my back on them or eat the food they prepared or sleep near them without worrying? I wasn’t sure I could.
As I rushed after Noah, whose furious footsteps and long legs could move faster than mine in the shifting sand, I realized maybe he was right. Maybe this really was the end of the group as we knew it.
But then…where did that leave us?
I was fully prepared to live in peace with Noah for as long as I could, but what if they planned to make that impossible?
If only one of the groups could survive, which would it be?
Chapter Twenty-Five
We stayed awake the entire night, watching the moon shift across the sky, casting its reflection on the water as the waves raged as angrily as our moods.
When I saw something moving across the water, I rubbed sleep from my eyes, sure I was imagining things, but it was still there.
“Do you—”
“See that,” Noah confirmed, finishing my sentence as he stood up.
Someone was out in the water. Something.
No.
As I realized what I was seeing, I rushed forward, moving as fast as I could, but it wasn’t fast enough. The world seemed to suddenly turn in slow motion, my vision tunneling, breathing shallow. “No!” I cried. “Don’t do this! Please!”
Desperate and lacking judgment, the youngest members of our group had decided to go on with the raft idea anyway. Just four logs—and not even large ones—were tied together with the sarong and long, flimsy tree branches, from what it looked like. Ava and James sat atop the logs, using thick, sturdy branches as oars.
Noah stood beside me as we both held our breath. Would it work? Would they escape, leaving us to waste away here? Would they send help? Would they find a boat and get picked up? They didn’t l
ook back at us, too busy fighting the strength of the waves as they paddled, then floated backward, then paddled and floated. They weren’t making it far, and each time a wave crashed into them, I felt my stomach lurch.
Please let them make it.
I sent up the silent prayer. I harbored no ill will toward the couple, despite our differences of opinions and methods. We all just wanted to make it home alive.
They made it out past the first group of heavy and rapid waves, and I felt myself breathing easier. It might actually work. My whole body was tense as I watched them growing smaller, harder to make out on the dark horizon.
“There’s a big one coming,” Noah said, his voice powerless. I watched the wave rolling, saw them see it, their paddling stopping at once. “They’re not going to make it.”
His words sat like a weight between us as I watched the scene unfold, unable to do anything. He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Paddle this way!” he cried, but they couldn’t hear us. They couldn’t hear anything, I was sure, as the wave gained more traction, more height, moving toward them and picking up speed as it traveled.
Ava sat still, watching it come as James began to paddle this way and that, each direction more hopeless than the last. I watched it crash into them, the wave splashing around them in every direction as the raft overturned, tossing them from it. Just like that, as if they’d never been there, they were gone.
“No,” I whimpered, touching my lips and holding my breath. I waited to see their heads, but Noah darted past me, diving like he so often did in the falls when he’d made it out far enough. I stood alone on the shore, crying silent tears as I saw the logs from the raft bob up to the surface finally, all separated and broken apart. I still didn’t see them, but refused to give up hope as I watched Noah swim toward them. I had to believe with everything in me that he saw something I didn’t.
As another large wave picked up momentum, I watched him stop. My insides were at war, half of me hoping he’d turn around, the other half hoping he’d keep going. I wanted him to save them, but I wanted him to save himself. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to lose him.
I felt a chill and checked behind me, feeling like I was being watched.
I was, of course. As we always were on the island.
Then, I looked back to the water, spying Noah as he swam back to me. “Noah!” I shouted as the wave grew closer. Please no. Please don’t take him from me.
The wave hit with a force similar to what had slammed into Ava and James, and I held my breath—waiting, watching. Please. Please. Please.
Seconds passed, dragging on like hours, and he didn’t resurface.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lose him.
I stepped forward, letting the tide hit my ankles as I watched the ocean’s undisturbed surface. If it had consumed three lives that night, it held no evidence. It scooped them up, sweeping them away as if they never existed. I fell to my knees, the crushing reality of what had happened weighing on me.
He was dead.
He’d left me.
I’d never see him again.
They were gone.
They were all—
No.
Yes.
His head was up.
His body was up.
Out of the water.
He was there.
He was okay.
He was alive.
Noah stood from the water, sopping wet and panting as he shook his head, his expression broken. “I’m…sorry. I couldn’t…” He was crying, though you couldn’t see it through the water already on his face. “I tried, Katy, I—”
I rushed forward, catapulting my body onto his and wrapping my arms around him. I smashed our lips together with so much joy in my heart, I thought it would explode. I felt his body tense with shock, then immediately relax, his hands on my face, my waist, my neck.
“That was really stupid,” I told him when we broke apart for air.
“I know.”
His lips were back on mine, the waves crashing around our feet, and if it hadn’t been tragic, it would’ve been romantic. He gripped my waist, pushing me backward gently with cautious steps. I followed his lead, no longer caring about anything. I almost lost him. I almost never had the chance to feel this way.
I let him guide me down to the sand, let his hands explore my body, let our tears combine on our cheeks, and eventually, I let him have every piece of me. Our friends were dead, and we were broken. We’d never leave, our families would never see us, and no one would ever know what happened. This was good and this was bad, and everything in between.
My mind raced, my heart pounding in my chest. Nothing about this was okay, and yet everything about it was perfect.
It was what I needed.
It was the only thing to help.
And so, we let it happen, and our pact was sealed with our bodies, no longer just our words. We’d protect each other no matter what.
That mattered more than anything, now that we were the last two survivors.
Chapter Twenty-Six
When the sun rose the next morning, rousing me from a restless sleep, Noah was already awake, sitting next to me with a blank expression. Remembering the night’s events, I shot up, staring out at the horizon.
“Anything?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been watching since dawn. The logs made it back”—he gestured to a few of them scattered along the shore—“but your cover up and, well…nothing else came with them.” No one else, he meant.
The weight of it all, the reality of what had happened hit me harder than I’d been expecting it to. Harder than the night before, even. I’d been so swept up in the thought that I’d lost him, that he’d drown too, that when he’d resurfaced, nothing else mattered.
But now, several things mattered. The fact that our friends were most likely dead, drowned in an accident I should’ve prevented. The fact that I’d slept with Noah. The fact that we were the only two left, which could result in peace or problems.
He rested his hand on my knee, almost as if he’d read my mind, but didn’t meet my eye as he said, “I don’t regret it, you know. You might… I wouldn’t blame you. But I don’t.” He swallowed, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob. “I just thought you should know.”
I nodded, processing.
“And…if they’re gone, that doesn’t change how I feel about…well, anything. I meant what I said when we made our pact. I won’t hurt you.”
“I know that,” I assured him.
He hesitated, then released a nervous laugh. “Can you let me know where your head is? Because I’m kind of freaking out a little bit.”
I knew what he wanted, but I didn’t know if I could give it to him. I couldn’t say all he needed to hear. I waited for the guilt over last night to hit me, but to my surprise, it didn’t. Did that mean I was ready to give my husband up? To accept that my marriage was over? That I was never going home? What if Ned was still out there looking for me? What if I was wrong that he’d given up? Could I ever live with the guilt of knowing I gave up before he did? Was I willing to give up my decade-long marriage for Noah, who despite everything, was still practically a stranger? My thoughts raced as I tried to sort through them all. I had an Island Future and a Home Future waging war in my mind, with no sign of either side winning out anytime soon.
“Sorry, I’m…I’m still processing, I think. I don’t want to give up on them, you know? And I don’t want to give up on Ned either, despite what we did last night. I know that’s not what you want to hear, and—”
“I just want to hear the truth. I don’t have any expectations here.”
“The truth is, I don’t regret it either. And I’d never hurt you. You know that. I’m not sure where my head is, honestly. But what we did…it was good, Noah. It was what I needed to survive the storm. You’re what I need to survive here.” I nudged his shoulder gently, trying to lighten the mood. “You’ve saved me in more ways than one.”
He gr
ipped my knee tighter, a loving gesture, and I hoped that was good enough for him for the moment. “I keep thinking I’m going to see one of them swimming up, you know? Like they somehow made it. I just can’t—” His voice caught, and he cleared his throat. “I hated them for what they tried to do to us, but I still feel connected to them somehow.” His brow furrowed, lips drawn tight.
“I do, too,” I assured him. “After all we went through together, I think that’s normal. The five of us…” Two now. “What we’ve experienced together, we’ll never be able to share that with anyone else.”
“So what if we really can’t go back?” he blurted out. “Ever. What if this is it? Will you be okay with it? With living here—on the island, with me—forever?”
I thought over my answer before giving it to him, choosing my words carefully. “I want to go home. I won’t lie about that. But, to be honest, I don’t even know what that would look like for me. It’s not like I could go home now and pretend none of this happened. And I’ll keep my word to you, of course. If we never get rescued, if we’re stuck here forever, keeping each other safe and alive, I would be okay with that.” I smirked. “There are worse places to spend eternity. Worse people to spend it with.”
His half smile was forced and unnatural. “You say that now, but…what about a year from now? How are we going to make this work? I just…I think reality is beginning to set in for me, and—”
Realizing what he was saying, I felt something in my stomach tighten. “Are you not going to be okay with it?” I asked. My weapon was several feet away, and I had no desire to use it on him. Was he planning to attack me? Had last night made him realize he couldn’t spend the rest of his life with me even if I was the last woman on his figurative earth?
He spun toward me in the sand, reaching for my legs. “No, hey… No, it’s not that at all. We’re good, Katy. This isn’t about me. I’m good. I’ll miss my family, my friends, my job…but I know I could be happy here. I really could. I just, I guess what I’m saying is, it’s just you and me now, and I don’t want to start getting attached to that idea, attached to the possibility of what life could look like for us here, for you to change your mind. And I don’t want it to feel forced because we’re literally the only people here.”
The Missing Page 19
