To Heal an Earl

by Aston, Alexa

He reached the stables and the thought of touching someone other than Miss Nott left him with a sour taste in his mouth. Damn the woman! He wasn’t about to remain celibate the rest of his life. He tried to exorcise her from his mind but her image refused to vanish. Those inquisitive emerald eyes. The soft, full lips. The abundant brown hair. They would not leave him.

  Exasperated, he turned away from the stables and set out walking quickly across the grounds. Riding at night was difficult enough, especially with the confusion that raced through him. Better to stretch his legs and walk out his frustration.

  Gray walked for several miles and then made his way back in the moonlight. Exhausted, he collapsed atop his bed and fell into a restless sleep.

  Chapter Eleven

  Charlotte looked at the two young girls. “Are you clear on everything you need to work on today?”

  Harriet sighed dramatically. “Miss Nott, we understand all of our assignments. And that Betsy will look in on us and eat luncheon with us.”

  Jane smiled brightly. “We’ll be fine, Miss Nott.” She hesitated. “And I will be a very, very good girl.”

  “I will, too,” Harriet declared. “I haven’t done anything naughty in at least three days. Maybe four. Not since before Uncle Gray came.”

  Unfortunately, Charlotte couldn’t say the same. She had done a bad thing by letting Danforth Grayson kiss her. Oh, she understood after thinking long and hard that it wasn’t a kiss of desire. It was one of thankfulness. Almost friendship. She had taken care of things for him so that when he’d arrived, he hadn’t been greeted by a huge disaster. Lord Crampton’s desk, which had been in a muddle, had been neatly arranged. She’d prepared her lists and taken the children in hand, setting up a program of discipline and variety in their studies. The man had been overwhelmed and then grateful—and had showed his gratitude with a sweet, friendly kiss.

  She told herself not to expect another one. She’d seen the remorse on his face. He wouldn’t repeat the same mistake twice.

  Charlotte just had to hope she could stop thinking about it day and night. If she couldn’t, she might have to decide to ask Mr. Grayson if they could interview new governesses, as well as the other staff members he wished to hire. Her funds were low, though. She would have to wait until her quarterly salary came due. She wasn’t spending anything now. If she could keep this up, she would have enough to travel to London and seek another position. It wouldn’t be through The Plummer Employment Agency but she could find other employment agencies in the city. And this time, she would have references. Charlotte knew that Mr. Grayson would feel obligated to write her a decent reference after all she’d done at Gray Manor.

  Even if she did leave after only three months’ time.

  Maybe she wouldn’t have to. Maybe she could see him less and less and forget about the silly notions that filled her. Of course, that was difficult, seeing as she would dine with him each night. Last night had taken every bit of courage she had to enter the dining room. At least she hadn’t seen him during the day. It pleased her that he responded as if nothing unseemly had occurred between them and they pursued a pleasant conversation throughout dinner. He’d ridden throughout the estate that day, meeting many of the tenants and seeing what items needed to be fulfilled. In turn, she had told him about the children’s studies that day.

  When dinner had ended last night, Mr. Grayson didn’t ask to walk with her. For a moment, Charlotte considered simply returning to her room but she decided there would be no harm in strolling through the gardens. She’d done so, though the peace she usually felt when she returned to the house had been lacking. Her unrest had continued all night and now into today. She must concentrate more on her charges and quit fantasizing about their guardian.

  “Uncle Gray!”

  She ceased her woolgathering and found the object of her fancy standing in the doorway to the schoolroom. Both girls ran to him, latching on to a different leg.

  “Miss Nott has left us work to do while she is with you, Uncle Gray,” Jane informed him.

  “It’s quite a lot,” Harriet confirmed. “I’m not sure if we’ll finish it all.”

  “Betsy will look in on us,” Jane added. “We like her.”

  “Perhaps you might have time to do a drawing for me if you finish your assignments,” he suggested.

  “I will,” proclaimed Harriet.

  “I’ll try,” Jane said, doubt in her voice. “Harriet is a better drawer than I am.”

  “I’ll like whatever you do, Jane. It’s the effort behind your art that matters.” He looked to Charlotte. “The carriage has been sighted. I thought I better retrieve you for the interviews.”

  “I was on my way. I’m sorry you had to come fetch me.”

  “It’s all right.” He glanced down at his nieces. “Be good and finish all of your work before you start on the drawings.”

  Harriet scowled but Jane smiled sweetly. Both girls retreated to their seats and opened their books. Once they’d started, Charlotte turned and met Mr. Grayson, who waited in the corridor.

  “They were happy to see you,” she said.

  “Yes, it seemed so. I also looked in on Rodger.”

  “Have you written to the duke yet?”

  “A messenger left yesterday morning. I’m hoping to receive a reply soon. I plan to go personally to London. While I’m there, I’ll see to a new wardrobe. I can’t keep alternating between my two uniforms.”

  Charlotte thought he looked dashing in his officer’s uniform but then again, Danforth Grayson would look equally impressive in civilian dress.

  They reached the foyer, where Smith awaited them.

  “I’ve taken all six to the breakfast room, Miss Nott, as you requested. They’re being given tea and cakes.” He started to hand her a stack of pages and then gave them to Mr. Grayson instead. “These are the references, sir. Miss Nott said you would look over them before you interviewed the candidates.”

  “Very good, Smith.” He turned to her. “And where might we be doing that, Miss Nott?”

  “I’d thought the small parlor just off the breakfast room. It’s close and not nearly as intimidating as the drawing room.”

  “I defer to you. Smith, give us a quarter-hour to peruse the references and then bring in the first applicant.”

  The footman looked to her. “I’m to bring the women first, isn’t that right, Miss Nott?”

  “Yes, Smith. Thank you.”

  They went to the small parlor and seated themselves. He handed her half of the references and then they traded after finishing.

  “I already am leaning toward a few,” he admitted.

  “Don’t let a reference totally sway you,” Charlotte cautioned. “They can be written to hide deficiencies. You had said experience would be important. There’s also the way they will present themselves. Both positions call for someone with good communication skills, as well as a person who can think on their feet quickly.”

  He chuckled. “I can see you’re already far better at this than I ever could be. Since we are interviewing housekeepers first, why don’t you take charge?”

  Smith announced the first applicant and Charlotte introduced herself and Mr. Grayson. She explained a little about the house and what duties would be required and then asked several questions that would have no wrong or right answer, wishing to hear what the first woman would say. Charlotte concluded the interview by allowing the woman to ask questions of her own, which seemed to startle her.

  After they’d spoken to all three women and they were alone again, she asked, “Do you have a preference?”

  “Mrs. Cassidy,” he responded. “She was confident and articulate. She didn’t have as much experience as the others but I liked her manner. She has enough maturity to command respect from the other servants and she seemed eager to find a place she could stay at for many years.”

  “I agree,” she said. “Mrs. Cassidy will be a good fit for Gray Manor.” Setting aside the three women’s references, she said, “Are yo
u ready for the men?”

  “Yes. I do like how you tell them a little about the household and their duties before giving them a chance to speak. I think familiarizing them with us is a clever idea.”

  Charlotte wanted to say it was an approach she’d first learned from her father but merely smiled.

  “Why don’t you ask the majority of the questions this time since the post deals with estate matters?”

  “I will—as long as you add anything you can think of.”

  She agreed and Smith went to collect the first applicant. Mr. Grayson asked good questions and then allowed her to add a few of her own. After Charlotte did so, he regarded her with respect and she felt good about what items she had brought up.

  “You’re most astute, Miss Nott,” he said once the first applicant left.

  “You did an excellent job yourself, Mr. Grayson.” Charlotte referred back to the references in front of her. She thought she’d seen more than admiration in his eyes and knew she deceived herself.

  The next man’s interview went quite well and Mr. Grayson said the same once the man left.

  “It’s almost a shame to have to take more time when I think we’ve settled on our new manager,” he said.

  “Still, it’s only one more applicant. He came a long way and we should give him his due,” Charlotte pointed out.

  The door opened and Smith led in Mr. Linfield, the last person. As he came closer, Charlotte nearly fainted—because she knew him.

  Jeremy. Her friend. The groom that had ridden out with her at Rumford Park for a number of years. Papa had always insisted she have someone with her when she visited their tenants. Jeremy had been the one who accompanied her the most. He was always asking questions about the estate and soaked up everything she told him. He’d left shortly before her father’s passing, having an opportunity to work with his uncle at an estate near Dover. Charlotte had not connected the name on the references with the man she’d known.

  As he came toward them and caught sight of her, his smile faltered. She gave an imperceptible shake of her head and mouthed “no” to him as he approached. He immediately focused on Mr. Grayson, his smile returning, and greeted him as he introduced himself.

  “And this is Miss Nott,” Mr. Grayson said. “She is helping me conduct the interviews today.”

  Jeremy inclined his head. “Miss Nott. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

  The interview proceeded and Charlotte wasn’t surprised to find Jeremy well-spoken and informed on numerous aspects of running an estate.

  “I began humbly, Mr. Grayson, as a groom at Rumford Park,” he told them.

  “Rumford Park?” Mr. Grayson frowned. “Is that by chance near here?”

  “Yes, sir. It’s the other side of Wilton, perhaps seven miles or so away from the village.”

  “I recall a Lord Rumford coming on a few occasions to visit my father.”

  Charlotte saw him struggling with a memory. She knew that memory had to do with her. Quickly, she said, “Mr. Linfield, tells us more about your life after leaving your post as a groom.”

  “I had the opportunity to move into estate management, thanks to my uncle.”

  He went on to tell them about how he assisted his uncle and then moved into the role of full-time manager after four years, when his uncle suffered from apoplexy.

  “I’ve served as an estate manager for six years on my own now. May I tell you of some of the things I’ve implemented over the years?”

  They listened to the changes he’d made and Charlotte thought Jeremy would be an ideal candidate for Gray Manor.

  “May I ask why you wish to leave your present position?” Mr. Grayson asked.

  “I’ve already left it, sir. The viscount died and his son assumed the title. While he was happy to write me an excellent reference, he had a friend from school who’d fallen on hard times and wished to help this friend out by offering him my position. I was given a generous sum of six months’ salary so that I wouldn’t be rushed while I located my next position.”

  Mr. Grayson looked at Charlotte and she nodded in agreement. He turned back to Jeremy.

  “Mr. Linfield, we’d be happy for you to you come to Gray Manor. When might you be able to start?”

  “I would need to return to Canterbury for my things. I could take the mail coach tomorrow and begin upon my arrival.”

  “Nonsense. My carriage can bring you. Let me tell the other candidates my decision and speak to Mrs. Cassidy, whom we want to offer the post of housekeeper. If she’s willing to collect her things in Canterbury and return with you today, the coach could bring you back and have you here before dinner.” Mr. Grayson stood.

  “That would be excellent,” Jeremy declared. He rose and Charlotte followed suit.

  “Let’s go see the others then.” Mr. Grayson strode from the room, telling Smith to inform the coachman of the trip to Canterbury and that he would bring back Mrs. Cassidy and Mr. Linfield.

  Jeremy fell into step with her. “Lady Charlotte, what are you doing here?” he asked quietly. “You could’ve knocked me over with a feather when I saw you.”

  “I am the governess at Gray Manor.”

  “But why? It’s been almost ten years since I’ve seen you. I would have thought by now you’d be wed and have children of your own.”

  “After Papa’s death, my brother had other plans for me. He sent me away. There was no Season. No opportunity to wed. I’ve had to make my own living since I was eighteen.”

  Jeremy’s face flushed with anger. “That’s plain wrong, my lady.”

  “Hush,” she urged. “No one knows of my past here, Jeremy. They only know I’ve been a companion and governess. I’m quite happy with my situation and my charges. Good positions are hard to come by. I want to keep this one—and keep my past private.”

  They reached the breakfast room and he said, “I’m very sorry, Lady Charlotte.”

  “Miss Nott,” she said.

  “Of course. Thank you, Miss Nott,” he said and moved away from her as Mr. Grayson thanked everyone for coming and announced who had been awarded the positions.

  Charlotte asked Mrs. Cassidy if she would be able to return today after packing her things and she was happy to do so.

  “You should arrive in time to join Mr. Grayson and me for dinner,” she told the two new employees. “We can further discuss your duties during the meal so you’ll be ready to begin in the morning.”

  She saw Mrs. Cassidy frown and wondered if it was because she would be eating with the master of the house—or that she disapproved that Charlotte did so. She decided this would be her last meal with Mr. Grayson. They would have no further business to discuss each evening. She would be more comfortable going back to having a tray provided in her room.

  The six boarded the carriage bound for Canterbury and Charlotte said, “I hope you didn’t mind that I suggested they dine with us this evening.”

  He studied her a moment. “No. It’s an excellent idea. I’m sure you need to get back to your pupils.”

  “Yes, I’ll check on Lord Crampton before I return to the girls.”

  “Do that,” he said brusquely and entered the house.

  Charlotte felt she’d done something wrong—and had no idea what.

  Chapter Twelve

  Gray returned to the study and tamped down his agitation. No, if he were to be truthful, it wasn’t agitation.

  It was jealousy, pure and simple.

  He’d been aware of Miss Nott and Mr. Linfield speaking privately to one another. It was perfectly natural. She was the type of woman who would make everyone feel welcomed. And yet he’d sensed a connection between them. Some affinity that angered him.

  “Ridiculous,” he muttered to himself.

  He was going to be gone from Gray Manor soon. Especially now with competent people hired, it would be sooner than he’d expected. Miss Nott would be out of his sight and mind. If she chose to develop a friendship with Mr. Linfield after his departure, it was p
erfectly within her rights. As long as she did her job and looked after the children properly, the rest of her time—and who she spent it with—was her own.

  Then why did he feel so resentful?

  Gray steepled his fingers. The delectable Miss Nott had gotten under his skin. He’d been foolish enough to barely kiss her. Fortunately, she had acted with grace and understanding and accepted his apology.

  But Gray had forced himself to make that apology. He wasn’t sorry at all. If anything, the brief joining of their lips had created a maelstrom within him.

  He wanted to kiss Miss Nott until her lips were swollen. Until she begged him to touch her. Until he could get his fill of her—which might never happen. It was wrong. Absolutely wrong, especially after what she’d confided in him. That’s why he knew he needed to leave soon. Gray had to stay away from her. If he didn’t, he’d ruin her—and himself. He couldn’t marry. It wouldn’t be fair to a woman to be saddled with a man who’d been so hollowed out by war. Miss Nott deserved someone who would please her. Cherish her.

  Love her.

  That certainly wasn’t him.

  Frustrated, Gray left the house and, this time, went for the ride that allowed him to escape all thoughts, rational or otherwise. He pushed himself and Titan hard. By the time he returned to Gray Manor, the physical exertion had him trembling as he walked back to the house. He passed Smith and told him to send up hot water for a bath—and Parker. The footman’s eyes widened but he scurried off.

  Gray arrived at his rooms and fell into a chair, breathing hard. Parker entered tentatively and saw Gray sprawled.

  “The hot water is coming, Mr. Grayson. Let me help you.”

  Without further ado, Gray had a valet. Parker undressed him and saw him into the bath. He scrubbed Gray as if he were a small child and dried and dressed him.

  “I’ll see your coat brushed, sir.” Parker paused. “Might I suggest that you invest in a new wardrobe soon?”

  “I plan to. In London. I’m going there soon to find a doctor for Lord Crampton.”