by Lucy Adams
Her mind unwillingly went back to Lord Avondale. It had been a sennight since he had first called upon her and since then, she had not so much as glanced him in a crowd. Perhaps, she had considered, he had returned home, in which case, she was glad he would not be in London. It did not mean, of course, that her thoughts did not often turn towards him, that she did not often find herself wondering what it was he had wanted to tell her, but Eliza had remained fiercely determined to stay detached. Her mother, thankfully, had not said anything more about the matter although she had not written to rescind her invitation to Lord Avondale, which was a cause of frustration to Eliza.
“Oh, look! Tis Lord Franks!” Titania exclaimed, looping her arm through Eliza’s, her steps becoming a good deal quicker. “And Lord Hollard, and Miss Stapleton!”
Eliza, who had only ever been introduced to Lord Franks, wanted to discourage her sister from greeting these three acquaintances and to insist that they continue onto the bookshop – which, she now feared, they might never reach – but Titania was quite determined. She half dragged Eliza towards the small group, a wide smile on her face as she caught Lord Hollard who did, Eliza had to admit, appear quite pleased to see Titania. In fact, his face lit up at the sight of her, making Eliza wonder why she had never been introduced to this particular gentlemen who was so enamored with Titania.
Very quickly, introductions were made and Eliza curtsied and inclined her head just as she was expected. Miss Stapleton, she learned, was the sister of Lord Hollard which explained how Titania had become introduced to Lord Hollard in the first place. She allowed herself to engage in polite conversation for some time, noting that Titania continued to dominate the conversation almost entirely, although Lord Hollard did not appear to be frustrated by this in any way.
“And you are acquainted with Lord Montrose, are you not, Miss Wells?”
A little startled by the abrupt change in conversation, Eliza nodded towards Miss Stapleton. “Yes, I am.”
“You see,” Miss Stapleton murmured, jabbing her brother in the ribs with her elbow. “I told you that I saw him out walking with a lady.”
Lord Hollard chuckled, shaking his head in evident surprise. “I did not think it possible that Lord Montrose would eventually come to seek out refined company, Miss Wells,” he explained, as Miss Stapleton giggled beside him. “But it seems that the impossible has occurred!”
Eliza frowned, not entirely certain what they meant and finding herself growing rather anxious over such a remark.
Titania, of course, ploughed in with further questions, saving Eliza the trouble of finding the correct way to ask for further information.
“He is not a well-respected, gentleman, then?” Titania asked, eagerly. “I confess I know him very little.”
Lord Franks chuckled. “He is a remarkable gentleman, that is for certain,” he replied, easily. “Up to all sorts of things these last few years, although I will say that I am glad he has decided to settle down and pursue more…..important matters.” He smiled at Eliza who only just managed to smile back. She did not understand what any of them meant regarding Lord Montrose, beginning to wonder if they were speaking about an entirely different gentleman and had mixed him up in their minds with Lord Montrose. The gentleman she knew was not foolish, nor irresponsible. He was well-mannered, genteel and more than proper.
“I think we must take our leave of you now,” Titania said, dragging Eliza back to the present. “My sister is more than desperate to find a new book and I have promised her that we shall make it to the shop by the day’s end!” This was said with a twinkle in Titania’s eye and a light peal of laughter, which Miss Stapleton echoed.
“You shall never reach the bookshop if you continue to greet everyone you know, Miss Wells,” Lord Hollard replied, looking at Titania with a broad smile on his face. “Although I am very glad that you chose to stop and greet us.”
Eliza was surprised to see a slight dusting of pink rise in Titania’s cheeks at this remark, watching her younger sister take her leave of the two gentlemen and the young lady, before doing so herself. It was most unlike Titania to blush.
“That young fellow seems quite taken with you,” she commented, praying silently that this would be enough of a distraction to prevent Titania from discussing either Lord Avondale or what had been said about Lord Montrose. “How long have you been acquainted with him?”
Titania shrugged, not looking up at Eliza. “Not particularly long at all,” she replied, as though it did not matter. “He is very amiable, is he not?”
Eliza hesitated. “I cannot say, for I only spoke with him a short while,” she confessed. “Although if you find him so, then I am glad for you.”
Titania laughed and shook her head, although Eliza noted a slight sadness to her voice. “Lord Hollard is a much sought after gentleman, Eliza,” she stated, a hint of resignation in her voice. “He is rich and titled, handsome and kind in his character. I think he has a good many acquaintances, of which I am only one.”
“I see,” Eliza murmured, still a little surprised that her sister was so taken with the gentleman. “I do not think that such a thing puts you at a disadvantage, however. You are quite memorable in your own way, Titania.”
To her surprise, Titania looked up, nodded and then began to blink away her tears that had rapidly sprung into her eyes. She said nothing for some minutes but walked in silence, leaving Eliza questioning what she had said or done to upset her sister so.
“I did not mean to –”
“I am not upset, Eliza, with anything you have said,” Titania interrupted before Eliza could finish. “It is more that I find myself growing frustrated with my own thoughts, my own hopes and dreams.”
“Oh?”
Titania sighed heavily and tucked one red curl back under her bonnet. “I am fully aware that I can be overly loud, much too opinionated for someone of the gentler sex and, whilst I attempt to garner as much attention as I can, I am forever deciding against certain gentlemen simply because they do not fit the dream that I hold in my mind.”
Eliza was surprised, having never heard Titania speak so openly before. “I do not think that to have a dream about one’s future is an entirely bad thing, Titania.”
“It can become so, however,” Titania replied, firmly. “I fear that I often lack the sense and wisdom that you and Mama display with such ease.” She glanced up at Eliza, a rueful smile on her face. “Not that I should ever wish to become like Dinah, however.”
“No, indeed,” Eliza replied, seeing the hint of the smile on Titania’s face and knowing that Titania and Dinah did not have even the slightest friendship. “Although, if I may give you my opinion, Titania, I do think that Lord Hollard was a little taken with you.”
Titania scoffed at this, however. “I fear that Lord Hollard can be something of a rake,” she replied, shaking her head. “I think that he delights in the attention of others, that he seeks it out and revels in it instead of forcing himself to remain attentive to one particular lady. He will not settle down any time soon, I do not think. At times, I am quite angry with my reaction to his presence, to my eagerness to be in his company.” She glanced up at Eliza, a curious look in her eyes. “Although I do wonder what Lord Franks meant when he spoke of Lord Montrose.”
Groaning inwardly, Eliza pulled open the door of the bookshop and stepped inside, hoping that the quietness of the shop and the delight of hundreds of new titles to be explored would prevent her sister from asking her any further questions – but it was not to be so.
Even after they greeted the shopkeeper and began to quietly peruse some books, Titania’s determination to continue speaking on the subject became evident.
“Lord Montrose is not, mayhap, the gentleman you believed him to be?”
Eliza sighed. “I do not know of what they were speaking, Titania.” She gestured to the books. “But I am too busy to consider it at this present time.”
“But I am not,” Titania replied, rolling her eyes as tho
ugh Eliza was being quite ridiculous to put her books before thinking of Lord Montrose. “Come now, you cannot pretend you are not a little concerned about what was said?”
Eliza hesitated, turned towards Titania and sighed. “What is it you wish me to say, Titania? That I was surprised to hear what Lord Franks said about Lord Montrose?” She lifted one shoulder. “Indeed, I was more than surprised, for that is not the gentleman I know but, then again, I do not know him particularly well.” Turning back towards the books, she heard Titania sigh heavily.
“Shall you ask him?”
“Ask him what?” Eliza said, quietly, frowning at her sister. “Ask him if what Lord Franks said was true?”
Titania nodded eagerly. “What if he is a terrible rake and you have no knowledge of it? What then?”
Eliza stifled a laugh. “I hardly think that Lord Montrose is a rake, Titania. If this were true, he would not behave as he does.” She smiled at the thought of Lord Montrose behaving like a rogue, knowing that he would not have treated her with such respect and consideration if he truly were such a man. “And if he has been so in the past, then what does that matter to me?”
Titania’s mouth fell open and she stared at Eliza in horror. Eliza did her best to ignore this expression for some moments, forcing herself to stare blankly at the books on the shelf in front of her, although she did not even read their titles.
“Titania,” she hissed, when it became too much. “You must stop.”
“Stop?” Titania breathed, still sounding horrified. “I cannot stop, Eliza. I am deeply concerned for you.”
Eliza closed her eyes and let out a long, slow breath. “I do not need your concern nor your guidance, Titania,” she stated, firmly. “I am well able to take good care of my own heart and my own future also, with whomever that it is to be with.”
Titania shook her head, her expression troubled. “I think, Eliza, that you are allowing your upset with Lord Avondale’s return to cloud your view of Lord Montrose,” she replied, sending a wave of irritation crashing down over Eliza. “You are so set against even listening to Lord Avondale that you have decided that Lord Montrose must become everything to you.”
“It is in his past, whatever it is!” Eliza exclaimed, rounding on her sister. “Do you not understand that, Titania? Lord Franks said so himself! He stated that he was glad that Lord Montrose had chosen to fall into respectable company, that he appeared to be considering his obligations and the like.” This was not precisely what Lord Franks had said, Eliza knew, but she dearly wanted her sister to stop thinking about what had been said about Lord Montrose, so that Eliza could, in her own time, begin to consider it carefully.
“And you believe that one’s past can never influence one’s future,” Titania murmured, not looking at all chastised. Her eyes bored into Eliza’s, sending a flurry of frustration and guilt into Eliza’s belly. “You truly believe that the way one has behaved for years has no bearing on what that same person may do in the future?”
Eliza lifted her chin, knowing what Titania was trying to say but refusing to let it enter her heart. “I will not pretend that my own past has not influenced the lady I am this very day, nor the decisions I have made, but the difference is, Titania, I have ensured that I will not allow Lord Avondale’s presence nor his past behavior to be a part of my life now.”
Titania considered this, whilst Eliza turned back to study the book assiduously.
“You think, therefore, that there is no merit in pursuing these particular comments about Lord Montrose, because, to your mind, they are a part of his past and should not be considered to have any bearing on the gentleman he is today.”
Eliza nodded, not removing her eyes from the books. “That is it precisely.”
“Then I may look into such comments myself.”
Spinning around to face her sister, Eliza shook her head fiercely, her hands gripping tightly to the book in her hands. “No, you will do no such thing, Titania!” she exclaimed, her voice garnering her looks from some of the other occupants of the shop. Flushing with embarrassment, she lowered her voice but did not remove her stern gaze from her younger sister. “That is not required of you.”
Titania arched one eyebrow, a faint smile dancing about her lips. “I did not suggest that it was required of me, now, did I?”
Eliza glared at her, a deep twist of anger and frustration growing in the pit of her stomach. “I do not need your help, Titania.”
“And yet, I am to give it regardless,” Titania said, steadily. “For if you will not take care to warn yourself of whatever dangers might await you, then I must be diligent enough to do so myself. After all, I would be greatly distressed if some harm came to you that I could have prevented.”
For a few minutes, Eliza battled with her turbulent emotions, wishing to goodness that she had never agreed that Titania could accompany her to the bookshop, or that they had not met Lord Franks, Lord Hollard and Miss Stapleton. She did not want Titania to seek out further information about Lord Montrose’s past, not when she was not the one to be courted by him! It was entirely in Eliza’s hands, was it not? And yet, no matter how much she argued with Titania, Eliza knew that her sister would not bend. She was entirely unyielding, fierce and determined. If Eliza continued to argue with her, Titania would only stake her claim all the more, determined to do precisely what Eliza wished her not to.
“Very well,” she said, stiffly, trying to pretend that it did not matter to her. “Do as you wish, Titania, but know that I shall not set any store by what you tell me thereafter. I wish to get to know Lord Montrose in my own way and in my own time and I will not be swayed simply because you think that there might be something about his past behavior that has some bearing on his current character.” She sniffed and turned away, ignoring Titania’s wide, triumphant grin. “Do as you please.”
“I shall,” Titania replied, her voice carrying towards Eliza as she moved away from her sister, wanting desperately to have a few moments alone to regain her composure. “And it shall be done out of my love and concern for you, Eliza.”
Eliza closed her eyes and leaned heavily against the end of a bookshelf, where her sister could not see her. It was the kindness of Titania’s words that was beginning to tug the anger away from her, leaving her standing almost breathless as she tried to come to terms with what her sister was intending to do.
Titania was, in her own way, trying to show Eliza the same kindness that she had attempted to show each of her sisters upon their entry to London some weeks ago. That could not be faulted, Eliza knew, for Titania clearly wanted to do all she could to ensure that Eliza was not falling in love with another gentleman who would treat her as cruelly as Lord Avondale had done.
Yet, Eliza was quite certain that Lord Montrose was not in any way similar to Lord Avondale. If he had a past filled with misdemeanors and roguish behavior, then that was one thing, but if he no longer displayed such behaviors, then did that not say something about his change in character? About his determination not to behave so any longer? Eliza considered that to be more important than to ask questions about his past, to worry herself that a gentleman could not change, for surely how he behaved now was evidence that he could turn from his past.
“And most gentlemen throw themselves into society with wild abandon,” she reminded herself aloud, pushing herself away from the bookshelf and feeling a sense of determination fill her again.
Titania could do as she wished. It would not matter to Eliza. She would not allow even a single word spoken against Lord Montrose to influence her heart. As she had planned, she would continue to get to know Lord Montrose and see whether or not they could be truly compatible, as she hoped they might. What a happy future could await her then!
Chapter Four
“Lord Avondale!”
Jeremy tried to smile as he walked into Lord Porter’s townhouse, feeling as though he were a veritable stranger instead of a gentleman who had only been absent from town for two short years.
“Good evening, Lord Porter,” he replied, bowing as he greeted a gentleman he had once considered to be a good friend. “Thank you so much for your invitation to your musicale this evening. I am truly touched by your kindness.”
Lord Porter – short, round and almost always jolly, laughed and shook Jeremy’s hand firmly, his cheeks already a little red which, as Jeremy recalled, always betrayed that his friend had been at his port. “No, no, it is my pleasure to have you here! May I present my wife?”
Jeremy turned towards a thin, waspish looking lady who was clad in a gown of emerald green which did not seem to suit her pale complexion and fair hair at all. Bowing politely, he took the lady’s presented hand as he did so, wondering when Lord Porter had wed.
“Delighted to meet such a dear friend of Lord Porter’s,” Lady Porter said, her voice high and thin. “Although you have not been in town for some years, I understand.”
Jeremy let go of Lady Porter’s hand and nodded, seeing her pale grey eyes settle on his. He found that he did not quite take to Lady Porter, surprised at how very different she appeared to be from Lord Porter.
“No, I have been at my estate,” he said, quietly, not wanting to hide the truth from anyone. “My dear wife died, unfortunately, soon after we wed and I found myself in mourning. I am only released from it recently and, as such, sought a little company in London.”
Lord Porter’s jolly smile faded at once and he set a firm hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, his eyes troubled.
“I did not know, old boy,” he stated, quietly. “I heard a rumor that you were wed but nothing came of it that I knew. Of course, I should have written to you or the like but I found myself rather tied up in courtship and all that goes with it.” He sent a sidelong glance to Lady Porter who, much to Jeremy’s astonishment, blushed faintly. Apparently there was some sort of attraction between husband and wife, which Jeremy would never have expected.
