Only Fools Walk Free

by Sandra R Neeley

  “I’ve not seen, nor heard from Clarice. I came here straightaway after dealing with those who cursed you to this spot. I will go in search of her, but for now, I’m more focused on you. Tell me, Samuel. Tell me every single thing you remember from last night. I need to know every single thing, from the moment you were waiting for Clarice, until her father arrived, until you ended up here. Leave nothing out, no matter how painful.”

  “But Clarice…” he started.

  “I cannot free you until you help me see everything that happened last night. Then we can both go after Clarice.”

  Samuel nodded. “Yes, Maman,” he finally agreed resignedly.

  Hours later they’d exhausted every single thing they could find to say to one another, with Samuel reliving the previous night over and over again, until ‘Vangeline was sure she’d not missed a single word. Samuel begged her to honor just one request. Find Clarice.

  “I know you can’t free me yet, Maman. It’s not what I wanted, but I can live with that as long as you can make sure that Clarice is safe. Please, Maman, be sure she is safe, and tell her that I don’t regret a single moment. Tell her that I love her, and even if I’d known the outcome, I’d have loved her still. Tell her not to be sad, tell her to find a way to live her life and not to look on our time with sadness.”

  “I’ll try to find her, Samuel. I’ll do my best, and I’ll keep searching for a way to release you. Don’t lose heart, my son. I’ll be back soon.

  Samuel nodded, the wisps that made up the form of his body, floating here and there with every movement of his head. “I’ll be right here, Maman,” he said sadly.

  ~~~~~

  Clarice was sitting peacefully before the altar in the private nave of the church only accessible to the nuns of the small cloister she lived with. She sat, silently reciting the prayers that ran through her brain nonstop. Each of them a plea for Samuel’s soul.

  She was startled by a voice behind her. “Sister Clarice, you have a visitor.”

  Sister Clarice turned and looked at the Reverend Mother with curiosity. She gestured to her mouth and shook her head.

  “I know. You speak only the prayers necessary for praise and worship of our Lord. But nonetheless, you have a visitor. Perhaps you should receive your visitor before you decide not to speak to her as well. She awaits you in the public chapel near the entrance to our abbey.”

  Sister Clarice thought of not going, but her curiosity got the better of her. There was no woman who’d call on her. Her own mother was long dead. She had no sisters or family that would even care that she was missing. She crossed herself, rose from her kneeling position, then hurried to the chapel.

  Clarice peeked through the stained glass windows to try to get a glimpse of the woman waiting to see her. Clarice recognized her on sight. Her hand flew to her mouth, and her eyes filled with tears. It was Evangeline Dupont, mother of her beloved Samuel. In effect, her mother-in-law. Quickly she ran around to the front door of the chapel, and pulled it open. She ran inside, stopping only when Evangeline stood to face her.

  Evangeline smiled sadly at the girl, now obviously a nun. “Hello, Clarice. I’ve searched for you for a long time.”

  “Ms. Evangeline!” Clarice said on a whisper, that carried on it so much pain despite the fact that it was only a whisper. “I’m so sorry I didn’t come to you. At first I wasn’t thinking straight, and then, I thought surely I was the last person you’d want to ever lay eyes on.

  “There is no apology needed. And just ‘Vangeline is fine. I’m more concerned with the here and now. How are you, dear?”

  Clarice dissolved into tears. “Devastated. I’m shattered.”

  “Because of the death of your father?”

  “No, ma’am. That news brought me the only bit of joy I’d had in almost a year. I’m devastated because of the loss of my Samuel.”

  “You are aware that your father’s death has been long coming. All his illnesses, all his suffering, they have not been a coincidence,” Maman ‘Vangeline said firmly, waiting to see how the girl would respond to the news that she herself was responsible for his death.

  Clarice bravely met ‘Vangeline’s steady gaze. “I’d heard that he contracted horrible illnesses. I’d heard that his fingers and toes, even the flesh of his face was dying and falling from his body. I’d hoped it was you, and I hoped that he knew it was you. I wanted him to suffer,” Clarice confided.

  “He knew. And he suffered a great deal of pain and fear. I made sure he saw me each time he rested on his veranda, masked and veiled as he used to be to try to hide the disfigurement that grew unhindered. I’d stand in his line of sight and repeat all the curses I’d already brought down on him as I smiled wickedly at him. Each time he’d become frightened and ring that blasted bell for his servants to come bring him back inside.”

  “He deserved it,” Clarice whispered.

  ‘Vangeline opened her arms, her own tears starting to flow. “Though it may have been deserved, it brought me no peace. I am so lonely without my Samuel. I am as devastated as you are,” she said quietly, tears streaming down her face.

  Clarice rushed into her arms and together they cried, holding onto one another until neither had tears left.

  “Are you happy here, child?” ‘Vangeline finally asked her.

  “I’m at ease here. There is no happiness for me. But I’m left to my own devices here. And the prayers give me a chance to pray for Samuel always.”

  ‘Vangeline nodded. ‘I understand that,” she said. I’ve not known happiness since that day myself.

  “I’m so sorry, Ms. ‘Vangeline. It’s all my fault,” Clarice said, beginning to sniffle again.

  “Nonsense, child. You gave my son the most happiness he’s ever had. None of this was your fault.”

  “My father…” Clarice started.

  “Is not you,” ‘Vangeline finished with a firm tone.

  Clarice nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll try to remember that.”

  “Good. Now, I have something for you.” ‘Vangeline said, holding out her hand with the cameo resting in her palm. Clarice picked it up and looked questioningly at ‘Vangeline.

  “It’s for you. Samuel bought it for you. It was to be your wedding ring. He wasn’t able to buy it before you married, but he was planning to give it to you when you joined him the night…”

  Clarice clasped the ring to her chest. “The night my father had him killed,” she rushed out.

  “Yes,” ‘Vangeline confirmed.

  Clarice held the precious ring out to admire again, then slipped the cameo on her forefinger. “I will never take it off. The other sisters will not like it, but I don’t care. My father’s estate — my estate, makes regular payments to the church specifically earmarked for this convent and its upkeep. They’ll not make too much of a fuss. I’ll wear it always.”

  ‘Vangeline smiled. “I like seeing it where it belongs.”

  “I do, too. I feel closer to him with it on. It’s almost like I can feel him,” Clarice said, clutching her closed fist with the ring on her forefinger to her breast.

  “Will you come with me to visit him?” ‘Vangeline asked.

  “You know where he is?!” Clarice asked, surprised that ‘Vangeline knew where his body was. She’d not heard anything of a funeral, and she’d waited a long time before she finally gave up and decided that her father must have hidden Samuel away to hide any evidence of his involvement.

  “He’s in your family crypt.”

  Clarice looked off out of the window, her eyes unseeing as her mind worked. “That’s why no one could find his body when I reported his death to the police. My father buried him in our crypt knowing no one would look there.”

  ‘Vangeline shook her head. “No, he didn’t.”

  Clarice’s gaze returned to ‘Vangeline. “I don’t understand.”

  ‘Vangeline tried to smile, but it wouldn’t come. She shook her head then answered Clarice’s question. “Your father dumped Samuel’s still li
ve, beaten, broken body in the crypt to die alone.”

  Clarice’s tears started again. It was several moments before she was able to get control of herself once more. Then she nodded. “Yes. I’ll go to him. I only wish I could have gone to him when he was alive. I wish there was some way to let him know I still love him, that I was coming to meet him when my father intercepted me.”

  “You know of me, Clarice?”

  Clarice looked down at her hands, then up into the soft brown face and gentle eyes of one of the most powerful women in New Orleans. “Yes, ma’am. Samuel told me there was nothing to fear. So I never have. I trust you.”

  “This may be hard for you to understand, but you need to know. He is no longer alive, but he is not gone. He is trapped in your family tomb; he’s been bound there for eternity, or until I can find a way to free him. He can’t leave the land the crypt is on. And honestly, I don’t even know if you can see him as I do. But he’s there, and he’ll be able to see you.”

  “I don’t understand,” Clarice answered, shaking her head in confusion.

  “He sent up a prayer for your protection the night he was dying. It was answered by someone with abilities not unlike mine. In his desperation to protect you, he made a bargain. A bargain which has left him earthbound eternally, watching over you from the confines of the cemetery.”

  “I want to speak with him! I want to see him!” Clarice said, rushing toward ‘Vangeline so quickly she almost bumped into her.

  “He sent me to find you. He sent a message for you. He wants you to find peace, to find a way to find peace and live your life.”

  “Is there not a way for me to join him?” Clarice demanded. “I want to be with him!”

  “NO! There is not. There is no guarantee that you would be allowed to remain with him even if you tried. He can never move on — you doubtlessly would. You would still not be together. Do not lose faith. I’m not giving up. I will find a way to free him. Unfortunately, until then, he is held a prisoner of that crypt.”

  Clarice nodded, looking sadly down at the ring on her finger. “Can we go now?”

  “Yes, if you’re ready. I don’t know if you’ll be able to see him, but even if you can’t see or feel him, he can see you, and hear your voice.”

  “I understand. I’m ready.”

  ~~~~~

  Clarice walked beside ‘Vangeline, their hands clasped tightly together as they moved toward the imposing, white, marble crypt at the end of the path in Lafayette Cemetery No. 1.

  “Are you sure he’s here?” Clarice asked.

  “I am,” ‘Vangeline answered.

  As they got closer, Clarice clung more and more tightly to ‘Vangeline’s hand.

  ‘Vangeline began to call out to her son. “Samuel? We are here. I’ve done as I promised. I found Clarice. She is safe, Samuel, and she’s come to visit with you.”

  Samuel rushed from the crypt to the fence enclosing it. “Maman!”

  ‘Vangeline’s expression softened, and she smiled as she always did at the sight of him. “Hello, my Samuel. Look, I’ve brought Clarice.”

  Samuel stood spellbound, watching his love approach with his mother. The pale white of her skin, the bright blue of her eyes were a balm to his soul, having so long suffered without her. “Clarice! I’ve missed you so. I worried when we couldn’t find you. Are you well? Are you safe?”

  ‘Vangeline smiled. “Give her a moment, my son. She can’t hear you. I’ll have to ask her for you.”

  “Where is he?” Clarice asked, straining to see anything at all other than the crypt.

  “There, right at the gate. He wants to know if you are safe, if you are well.”

  “I am safe, Samuel. I am healthy. Well is questionable. I will never be well without you.”

  “Nor I without you, my Clarice.”

  “Why are you dressed like that? I can’t see the beautiful blonde of your hair tucked away like that. Did you…?” he started to ask, then stopped, realizing as she pulled the cloak from her head and shoulders that she was dressed in the traditional garb of a Catholic nun. “You joined the nunnery,” he whispered.

  “He is realizing that you joined the convent,” ‘Vangeline explained.

  “The only way to extricate myself from the marriage my father had arranged was to join the convent. And quite honestly, it was the best thing for me, as it has been for other widows before me. I will never have any husband but you. I will always hold true to my marriage vows. I did not take my final vows of commitment to the order, but instead dedicated myself to the order. The fact that my estate makes regular donations to the convent helps the other nuns remain tolerant of my presence though I am not fully one of them. So, joining the order was not a huge sacrifice for me.”

  “I’m so sorry, Clarice,” he said. “We should be on a beach, beneath the palm trees watching our babies play in the sand.”

  ‘Vangeline pressed her lips together, and blinked her eyes to keep the tears from falling.

  “He says he’s sorry things ended this way. He says you should be together on a beach living your lives and building a family.”

  Clarice’s face skewered up and she began to cry, but glancing up at ‘Vangeline she saw the unshed tears in her eyes, and knew the woman was remaining strong for her son. Clarice did the same. She lifted her hands and wiped away the tears.

  “But I’m here now, and I’ll be here as much as I can now that I know where you are.”

  They spent the afternoon, speaking and communicating through ‘Vangeline. The happiness she saw on her son’s face was more than worth the effort to help them reunite.

  As the sun started setting, ‘Vangeline finally spoke of having to leave. “It is time for us to go, Samuel. We should be on our way.”

  He understood. “I know. I don’t want either of you out after dark on the streets alone.”

  ‘Vangeline laughed. “You forget who your Maman is, my boy.”

  “Will you come see me again sometime, let me know that you are well?” Samuel asked Clarice.

  “He wants to know if you will come to visit him again sometime so that he can know you are well.”

  “Of course I will. I already promised to come as often as I can. I meant that promise. I won’t ever be far away for long.”

  ‘Vangeline stepped closer to the gate and extended her hand and arm over the threshold for Samuel to touch. She could just feel a slight warmth where he grasped her hand.

  “What are you doing?” Clarice asked.

  “He can’t cross the threshold of the land the crypt lies on. If he does, his soul will be lost. So I reach across the threshold so that he can touch me and say goodbye.”

  Immediately Clarice stepped up to the gate, pressing her entire body against the wrought-iron bars, she extended her hand as far across the threshold as she could. “Until the next visit, my love.”

  Samuel grasped her hand in his and pressed his lips to the cameo she now wore on her hand. “Maman, please tell her that I love that she is wearing my ring. Tell her I’ve kissed it as a seal of my vow of love to her.”

  “He says that he’s kissed your wedding ring, sealing his vow of love.”

  Clarice pulled her hand back and mimicked his actions, kissing the ring as well. “I’ll see you soon. Will you be well until I return?”

  “Assure her, Maman, please. I do not want her coming here every single day. She needs to live her life.”

  “He wants you to live your life, Clarice. You should not come here every day.”

  “I will come here whenever necessary. I need to know that he is here, that I will come to visit my husband each time I can stand it no longer.”

  Samuel stood there with the only bit of relief ‘Vangeline had seen on his face since he’d been trapped there. “I will be waiting,” he promised.

  Chapter 4

  Clarice's visits became a regular thing. Every few days, Samuel would look up from his perch atop the roof of the crypt, or his spot leaning against the doorway, an
d there she’d be, singing to herself as she made her way through the other tombs in the cemetery to reach his. Most days she’d bring a lunch with her and spend the entire day with him. Sometimes she’d come alone, other times she came with ‘Vangeline. On the days she came alone, she’d tell him all about the things she’d done. The books she’d read, the new foods she’d tried, the songs she’d sung and the gossip of the city. She’d pause as though he were answering before going on with her story. When she got tired, she’d lean her back against the fence surrounding the crypt and rest for a while.

  He’d rest against the other side of the fence, and they were content to just be together. Nothing was hurried, and there was no angst. This was just as they were and as of now, there was no way to change them. They still loved each other, and that was all that mattered.

  ~~~~~

  One fall morning Clarice followed the path to the crypt that held her love. The fog and mists were heavy in the air giving everything a hazy appearance that day. Clarice smiled when she saw ‘Vangeline standing at the gate, speaking softly.

  She approached quietly, not wanting to interrupt ‘Vangeline as she spoke with Samuel.

  ‘Vangeline turned her head and glanced her way. “Good morning, Clarice,” she greeted.

  “Good morning, ‘Vangeline. How are you and Samuel today?” Clarice asked.

  “We are well.”

  As Clarice got closer and closer as she followed the path between the decorative crypts in the cemetery, the smile fell from her face, and she stumbled to a stop. “Oh, my God!” she said breathlessly.

  ‘Vangeline turned and looked at Clarice again, not sure what had caused her to exclaim as she had. “Is everything alright?” ‘Vangeline asked.

  “I can see him,” Clarice whispered.