Five Shades of Fantasy

by W.J. May

  ***

  Natalie packed her clothes into her duffle bag. “Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me?”

  Lise shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’m going to stay here and hang out.”

  “I’m sorry you can’t go home.” Natalie continued to gather her things, anxious to get on the road to see her family. She had two weeks off before summer classes and the start of her internship.

  “It’s okay. My mom is so busy with her job, traveling and stuff… it wouldn’t be worth the flight or drive home.” Lise, an only child with divorced parents, didn’t have much family. She rarely talked to her father and hadn’t seen him in years. Her mother worked constantly and made her social life a priority, kind of like Natalie’s Aunt Sharon. The fourteen hour drive to Atlanta made going home for the weekend impossible and her mother had never visited Lise since she started college. That made Natalie grateful for her family, even though they sometimes drove her crazy.

  “I’ll be back next Wednesday. So you won’t be by yourself too long.”

  Lise stood in front of the mirror, fixing her makeup. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about me. I can hang out with Macie, even though I don’t care to. Besides, I’m sure I’ll be hanging out with Sal, since he’s not going home either.”

  Natalie looked at Lise through the mirror. “That’s why you don’t want to go home with me. Do yourself a favor and take this slow.”

  “I know. Besides, he’s not that type of guy.” Her voice had a hint of disappointment.

  Natalie narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “He actually didn’t want to have sex with me. Can you believe it?” Lise laughed, but Natalie could hear the bitterness and knew that it upset her. Lise tossed a make-up brush in her cosmetic bag and shrugged it off, like it was no big deal.

  “That’s good. I mean… take your time, get to know him.” She wanted to tell her to wait because even when you think you know someone really well, you don’t.

  “Maybe he’s gay?”

  Natalie shook her head. “I don’t think so. I didn’t get that vibe.”

  Lise started working on her hair, teasing it and pinning it to the side with bobby clips. “Yeah, me either. However, I never had a guy turn me down.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t try so hard.” Natalie gathered her dirty clothes and stuffed them into her laundry bag.

  “What?” Lise’s voice sounded irritated.

  “What I’m trying to say is don’t be the aggressor. You’re the girl. Girls shouldn’t be trying to seduce guys for sex.” Natalie turned around, avoiding further eye contact with Lise. Talks likes this made her uncomfortable.

  Lise started laughing. “Since when did you become my mother? Or Dr. Phil? Not to be rude or anything, but you’re no expert.”

  Luckily, Natalie didn’t take offense to her comment. She preferred not being an expert on this subject. She sat down on the edge of her bed. “Sorry. I’m trying to prevent you from getting hurt, like I did.” She thought Tony was the right guy and hated that she gave herself to him.

  “No offense Nat, but I’m tougher than you. Besides, sex is just sex. It’s no big deal. Not to mention, I can’t resist when it comes to Sal. He’s damn hot.” Lise turned back around to examine herself in the mirror. “Do you think he will continue to refuse me?”

  Natalie shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” They definitely didn’t agree when it came to sex. She hated to think it, but one day Lise would get hurt and maybe then she’d have more respect for herself. Until then she would be Lise, always learning the hard way. “So, are you on your way to hang out with Sal?”

  “Yep. We’re going to the movies.” Lise stopped teasing her hair. “Hey, why don’t you and Ryan go to the movies with us? We can go on a double date.”

  “No. I told you. I’m not going out with Ryan. I can’t get involved with him.” Natalie gathered her things and doubled-checked to make sure she had everything.

  “I don’t know why you keep ignoring his calls and text messages. The guy felt really bad about what happened on the dance floor. Which sounded like nothing, based on what both of you told me.”

  Natalie picked up her cell phone. She saw that she had four text messages and two missed phone calls from him. She really wanted to talk to him but refused to give in to her desires. She would only get hurt again.

  “He likes you a lot, Nat.”

  “How do you know that?” She looked up from her phone.

  “Oh, ummm….” Lise stuck her head in her closet.

  “Lise, why do you keep interfering after I already told you I don’t want to go out with him? First, you gave him my number without asking me and now you’re trying to plan a double date for us. I still can’t believe you called and told him I was okay without asking me if I wanted him to know.” Natalie took a deep breath and pressed her lips together. She didn’t want to say anything she would later regret.

  “I’m sorry. He was really worried about you and when I couldn’t find you or get a hold of you, he asked for your number so I gave it to him. Besides, Sal told me that Ryan said he couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Lise pulled her head out of the closet. “You’re not supposed to know that and neither am I. Ryan apparently told Sal in confidence.”

  Natalie’s heart rate automatically doubled. Was he really thinking about her the way she was thinking about him? Surely not. Giddiness swept across her. She fell back on her bed, holding the phone close to her chest. She glanced over at Lise. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. I don’t know why you keep pretending you don’t like him. I can see it all over your face.”

  Natalie covered her face with her pillow. A few seconds later she tossed the pillow to the side. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Uh, yeah. I know that jerk really hurt you but Ryan seems like a good guy.”

  Natalie smirked. “They always do.”

  “You need to call him. Besides, he’s freakin’ hot too.”

  Natalie narrowed her eyes at Lise. She wouldn’t put it past her to try and hit on Ryan.

  “Don’t worry, I already know what you’re thinking and he’s not my type. He’s a little too country for me. Besides, I think fate brought you two together. I mean what a coincidence that you two ran into each other here?”

  Natalie thought about what Lise said. Was it fate? Or another heartbreak waiting to happen? The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. She glanced at the number on the screen. It took her a whole second to realize that number belonged to Ryan. A rush of adrenaline hit and her body tingled with excitement. Without thinking, she hit the answer key.

  “Hello?” She quickly searched her mind for something to say. Her body tensed with fear and her head spun.

  “eHe..llo, Natalie? It’s me, Ryan. Ryan Garrett.” Instantly, her body wilted at the sound of his rugged voice.

  “Hi.”

  “Thanks for taking my call. I’m not trying to stalk you or anything. I...ummm…just ummm….wanted to apologize for any inappropriate behavior the other night. I don’t know what got into me.”

  “It’s okay. It’s my fault, not yours.” She searched for the right words but her mind was blank.

  “No, it’s not all your fault. I’m guilty too.”

  “I guess we are both to blame to a certain extent.” Natalie noticed Lise looking at her.

  “Who’s that?” Lise whispered.

  Natalie ignored her and kept her attention on Ryan.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you to the point where you had to run off. I went after you but I couldn’t find you. That’s when I told Lise and Sal, and we all went looking for you. I’m not sure if she told you that. I asked for your number and she gave it to me. I hope you don’t mind.” Ryan cleared his throat.

  “Yes, she told me. I’m sorry I ran out on you Ryan­­­—”

  “OMG! Are you talking to Ryan?” Lise blurted out.

  Natalie covered the phone with her hand and motioned for Lise to go away. Lise
held up her hands, waiting for an answer so Natalie nodded, confirming her question. Lise smiled and winked, and then went back to getting dressed.

  “Sorry. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve got issues.” Natalie didn’t know how else to put it. He probably thought she was an immature girl that couldn’t even handle being kissed by a guy. She didn’t want to tell him the real reason. She barely knew him and even though he saw how Tony acted, he wouldn’t understand.

  “We all do, Natalie. You’re not alone.” His voice, sincere and heavy all at the same time, told her he did understand.

  For a moment she sensed a closeness being formed between them. She closed her eyes and kept silent. Her heart kept telling her to not be scared but her mind told her the opposite.

  “Despite what happened, I’d like to see you again.”

  Her eyes popped opened. Her heart leaped into her throat urging her to say yes. Her head continued to warn her otherwise. She promised herself she would not get involved with another guy for a long time. “I don’t think it’s a good time right now. I’m about to head home for the week.”

  Ryan hesitated for a second. “Natalie, I know I will have regrets if I don’t tell you that… I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I felt something between us. Something I have never felt before and I think you felt it too.”

  OMG, he felt it too. “I… I don’t know.”

  Lise motioned to her with praying hands, mouthing the words, “Please.”

  Natalie ignored her.

  “Don’t deny what you’re feeling. I know you’re scared of getting hurt again. But you know what…so am I,” Ryan said with vigor.

  The more she tried to discount her emotions, the need to be with him intensified. She took a deep breath and held it for a second. She wanted to say yes, but was afraid.

  “Please go out with me. We can do something laid-back, like dinner and a movie. I really want to see you again. I… can’t stop thinking about you.”

  She couldn’t resist the plea in his voice and all the emotions he stirred up in her. The words slid out of her mouth effortlessly. “Okay. How about when I get back?”

  “You will?” His voice raised about five octaves. “Alright.” He chuckled slightly, apparently pleased with his tactics of persuading her.

  Natalie smiled. “I’ll give you a call when I get back.”

  “Sounds good. Be careful. Talk to ya soon.”

  “Bye.” Natalie hung up the phone and let out a long and drawn out sigh. What did she just agree to do? Why wasn’t she following her own rules? She knew she was setting herself up for another broken heart.

  “OMG, Nat. You have to be the most difficult date ever. Poor guy. He must really like you if he’s willing to work that hard.”

  Natalie rolled her eyes at Lise. “I’m not difficult.”

  Lise broke out in laughter and threw her arms up in the air. “Whatever.”

  “I don’t like to jump into things without thinking through them first.” Natalie lashed back.

  “Ouch.” Lise put her hand over her heart.

  “Sorry, but it’s the truth.” Natalie got up and gathered her things.

  “I really wish you would stay so we could double date. You can always leave tomorrow. Please?” Lise begged.

  “No, I already told my parents I’m coming home today. I need to get going so I can get home by dinner time. I’m dying for a good home cooked meal.”

  “You and me both.” Lise pouted and then picked up her laundry bag. “Come on, I’ll help you take your stuff to your car.”