by Ivy Smoak
“I’ve been telling Coach Carter to outlaw that blasted game. You don’t know how many times I get students in here with dodgeball injuries.” She grabbed an icepack from the freezer. “You’re sure nothing else is wrong? Your face is so very red.”
Every time she said it, I’m pretty sure I blushed harder. I placed the ice on my nose. Luckily the icepack was big enough to pretty much cover my entire face. “Nope, I’m good otherwise,” I said.
“Alright. Sit down for a minute and ice your nose then.”
I sat down on the little cot in the corner of her office. The thin mattress sagged as Felix sat down beside me.
“Seriously though,” Felix said. “Money doesn’t make up for a bad character. It doesn’t make up for anything. And I don’t think you’re a loser. You’re kind. And sweet. And funny. And easy to talk to.”
I placed my hand down on the cot between us. I was a coward earlier. But when there was an icepack hiding my face, I found it a lot easier to be brave. One of the things that stuck with me the most about Friday night was how comforting it was when Felix held my hand.
“And beautiful.” He placed his hand down on top of mine. “You’re really beautiful, Brooklyn.”
I was glad the ice pack was hiding my eyes, because they were tearing up. He’d called me beautiful on Friday night. I’d forgotten that underneath all the embarrassing things that had happened.
Our fingers intertwined. And for a few minutes we just sat in silence. I was pretty sure they were the best few minutes of my life.
He reached over and pulled the icepack down from my face. “And one day when your nose isn’t hurting, I’d really like to kiss you, newb.”
I stared into his blue eyes. I wanted to focus on the fact that he wanted to kiss me as badly as I wanted to kiss him, but a question in the back of my mind was suddenly all I could think about.
What if? I didn’t know my father. What if? I knew I looked nothing like Felix. I mean, Felix was Felix. What if? But my mind had already started racing. What if? It was possible. It was horribly possible. What if Felix and I were related?
I swallowed hard and forced myself to smile before I pulled the icepack back over my face. I needed to talk to my uncle before I accidentally kissed someone who could be my half-brother. Or cousin. Or…nephew? Was that even possible? I was horrified by the fact that Felix could be in any way related to me. But more so by the fact that I wanted for him to be my first kiss without even knowing the truth. Please God, don’t let Felix be related to me.
Chapter 12
Monday
I plopped my lunch tray down in front of Kennedy. “I have a serious problem.”
“Me too. Do these look okay in black and white or would color be better?” She slid a few pictures toward me. “I’m thinking color might be better.”
I stared down at the pictures of me molesting Matt’s face. As in more than one. More than one angle. More than one shot. “What the hell are these?”
“You’re right. Color would be better. You can keep those in the meantime.”
“I asked you to delete that picture. And there’s even more?” I lifted them up and sorted through the nightmarish stack of photos. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I think you and Matt make a great couple. Just look at how he’s looking at you. He’s smitten.”
I noticed before that there were stars in my eyes. But I was pretty sure the same stars were reflected in Matt’s eyes. I shook my head. It was just in my imagination. He didn’t look at me in that way. “Matt is ignoring me. And I’m avoiding him. We are not and never will be a couple. Can we focus on my problem for one second instead of whatever the hell this is?” I tossed the photos back at her.
“Mhm. But those are for you.” She slid them over to me again.
“I don’t want them.”
We proceeded to push them back and forth until I noticed Matt walking into the cafeteria.
Shit. I grabbed them and shoved them in my backpack.
“You’re welcome,” Kennedy said with a big smile.
“I didn't thank you.”
“You will eventually.” She shoved a huge forkful of spaghetti into her mouth. “How’s the whole avoidance plan going?”
“Not great.”
“So is that your big problem? How to better avoid Felix and Matt? With Felix I think the running in the opposite direction thing you’ve got going on is really productive. And it sends a good message. He’ll stay away soon enough.”
That plan had failed entirely. If anything, I wanted to be closer to Felix than before. Which was seriously freaking me out now. I thought I could figure out a way to convince my uncle to tell me the truth about my father on my own. But the few times I’d mentioned it since Friday night, he’d quickly changed the subject. And now it was all that I could think about. Well, that and kissing Felix. Which just reminded me of the questions about my father. Ugh. Gross.
“No, that’s not my big problem. My problem is that my uncle mentioned that my father used to live in the city. What if he still does? What if he has other kids? What if one of his other kids goes here? Or his brother or sister’s kid? Or something else like that?”
Kennedy shrugged. “It hardly changes anything for you.” She took another huge bite.
“Of course it does. What if I’m related to Felix? What if I kiss my half-brother? Or cousin? Or worse?”
Kennedy started choking and spit her spaghetti all over her tray. “Wait, did Felix kiss you?”
“You’re missing the point! I could be related to him.”
“But did you kiss him?”
“No. I got hit in the face during dodgeball and ended up at the nurse.” I gestured to my nose which was still red from the icepack. “Oh…and there’s the little fact that I might be related to him! Of course I didn’t kiss him!”
Kennedy took a huge breath. “Well that’s good. You should probably not ever kiss him then.”
“You’re not helping.”
“That’s just my honest opinion. You shouldn’t kiss him because you might be related to him.” She shrugged and started eating again.
“I was kind of hoping this conversation would lead you to helping me figure out who my father is.”
“Why? You said your father didn’t want you. So you shouldn’t want him in your life either. Period.”
I put my elbows on the table and leaned forward as far as I could. “Did you not hear the fact that I could be related to someone in this school?” I whispered. “How am I supposed to live like that?”
“By not kissing Felix.”
Kennedy was exasperating today. It was like all she cared about was whether or not I kissed Felix. She was completely missing the bigger picture. “I need your help. You know my uncle better than I do. Can you try to get the information out of him?”
“I don’t know if I know him better than you…”
“You grew up next door to him. You call him Uncle Jim. Your mom and him are basically best friends.”
“Fine. I’ll see what I can do. But it might take some time.”
“Thank you.” Hopefully it wouldn’t take that much time. I couldn’t always get drunk or hit in the face with a ball to avoid kissing Felix. And I was afraid I’d have to if I was going to be able to resist him.
Kennedy twirled some spaghetti on her fork. “What if you really are related to Felix? Wouldn’t that be hilarious?”
“No. Clearly I don’t find it hilarious. What’s up with you today?”
She shrugged. “Nothing. I’m having an excellent day.”
“Okay, weirdo.”
She made a kissy face. “Love you back, weirdo.”
***
Matt was incredibly easy to avoid. As usual, he didn’t glance at me as he sat down at the desk in front of mine. I eavesdropped on his conversation with Rob. They were talking about the football game on Friday. Apparently, Matt got a touchdown and everyone loved him. Yadda yadda.
I knew Matt wo
uld never talk to me in class. He’d made that pretty clear. So why did I still stare at the back of his perfect head when he was such a jerk? Unlike the rest of the student body, I no longer viewed him as a god. Gods didn’t ice people out of their lives so blatantly. And then pretend to care at parties. He was as flawed as the rest of the Untouchables. And I no longer wanted to touch.
I stared at my blank notebook page instead. Maybe I was putting too much weight on the whole not knowing my dad thing. I mean, what were the odds that I was actually related to Felix? Pretty slim. My mother and I weren’t well off. I doubt she mingled with anyone rich enough to have kids or nephews in this school. Besides, my uncle would have told me if I was about to do something terrible. Right? He wouldn’t just let me run around kissing my brother. Absolutely not. But I also hadn’t told my uncle about Felix… I was going to have to tell my uncle that I liked someone. That could get the truth out of him.
“It’s finally time to start our group projects,” Mr. Hill said. “From concept to business plan, you and your group will come up with a new, innovative business keeping in mind the things we’ve been studying in class. And it’s worth a quarter of your grade, so you need to take it very seriously.”
Whispers broke out throughout the classroom as students started picking their group members. I melted into my seat, invisible as always. It was like gym all over again. But I didn’t run the risk of being picked last. I ran the risk of not being picked at all. Hopefully I’d just be allowed to do the project alone. I looked around the room. There were an uneven number of kids in the class, which would leave one student out of a duo. Perfect.
Mr. Hill cleared his throat. “Before you get too excited, I already picked the groups.”
Everyone in the class groaned except for me. But I should have. Being the outcast forced to work alone was one thing. I could handle that. But being randomly put into Matt’s group? That could not happen. And just the thought of it happening had my stomach twisting in knots.
I took a deep breath. The odds of being forced into a group with Matt were slim. But then Mr. Hill started calling out the groups. And it wasn’t two people in each, it was three. Which raised the odds significantly…
“Mr. Caldwell, Mr. Hunter, and…Miss Sanders.”
“Screw me,” I said. Out. Loud. I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth, wanting desperately to go back to being invisible.
Rob laughed and turned around in his seat to face me. “What…we’re not that bad to be teamed up with, Sanders.” He flashed me a smile with his perfectly white straight teeth.
I swallowed hard.
Matt just stared ahead like he hadn’t been called at all. How were we supposed to work on a group project if he wasn’t speaking to me?
Charlotte raised her hand.
“Yes, Miss King?” Mr. Hill said.
“Brooklyn is having such a very hard time adjusting to our school. I think that it would really benefit her to be in my group. I can help her so much.”
Gag. Why was she trying to get me in her group? To torture me to death?
“Can I trade Missy for her?”
“Hey,” Missy said and gave her a dirty look.
Mr. Hill placed his attendance sheet down on his desk. “Although I agree with you that Miss Sanders is not adjusting well, the groups are set in stone.”
“But…”
“Stone.” I’d never heard him so stern with anyone but me.
Charlotte made a huffing noise and crossed her arms over her chest.
It was easy to ignore the fact that Mr. Hill thought I didn’t belong here. And that Charlotte was somehow trying to ruin my life in a new and odd way. Because all I could focus on was the fact that I was in Matt’s group. I was supposed to be avoiding him.
“Now split up into your groups and start brainstorming what your business is going to be.”
Chairs squeaked as everyone starting moving their desks around. But I didn’t have to move. Matt sat right in front of me. Rob to the left of him.
Rob turned around with another easy smile. “I wonder why Charlotte wanted you in her group. I thought she hated you.”
I looked over at Charlotte who was staring daggers in our direction. “She probably just wanted to torture me.”
Rob laughed and then hit Matt’s shoulder. “Turn around, man, we have to start talking about our business.”
He was probably as mortified to talk to me as I was to talk to him. I’d molested his face on Friday night. He’d seen me drunk. I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.
“One sec,” Matt said. He stood up and walked over to Charlotte who was beckoning him over. They started discussing something, but I couldn’t hear them over the chatter around me. Neither looked particularly happy.
Matt said he wasn’t dating Isabella. Was he dating Charlotte instead? That would explain why he didn’t defend me in class when she was berating me. It would explain why she kept looking over here like she wanted to throw me out the window. It would explain everything.
“What’s up with them?” I asked Rob.
He looked over his shoulder. “I don’t know. Why, are you jealous? I saw that you two were all over each other at that party.”
“No.” Oh God. I could feel my face turning red. “Matt’s a jerk. He and Charlotte deserve each other.”
Rob laughed. “No one deserves to be with Charlotte. And Matt’s not that big of an asshole once you get to know him. He saved you from being teamed up with her, after all.”
“Pretty sure the teams were randomly assigned,” I said.
“Everyone knows that nothing in Mr. Hill’s class is random.”
What the hell did that mean? Before I could ask, Rob started talking again.
“So about this project.” He rubbed his hands together. “I was thinking we could do something fitness related.”
“That would be really great.” This project could end up being a breeze. Rob and I were completely on the same page. Plus he seemed fine talking to me, unlike his friend.
He laughed. “I was joking. I thought that would be the last thing you wanted to do.”
“Why?”
“I heard Cupcake nailed you in the face with a dodgeball in gym today.”
“Oh.” I laughed. I guess everyone did call that kid Cupcake. “I didn’t realize there were rumors spreading around about me.” Besides the fact that I don’t have a lot of money and am not as cool as a student nicknamed Cupcake.
“Everyone’s always fascinated by the new kid. You also have a tiny little bruise right there.” He pointed to the inside of his left eye.
I mirrored him and reached up and touched the spot on my face.
“Other side,” he said with a laugh.
I touched the left side of my nose and flinched. Ow.
“Sorry about that,” Matt said and sat down in his chair facing me. He had a huge smile on his face and was looking directly at me.
Wait, was he talking to me? I looked over my shoulder even though I was in the back of the classroom. Nope, just me. Maybe I really did have a concussion.
“I heard about dodgeball,” Matt said. “Are you okay?”
Caring? Again? I just stared at him. He stared back like he was acting completely normal. Nothing about this was normal. It was the first time he’d spoken to me in school for weeks. He’d literally never spoken to me in this class before. I figured we’d have to do our project in hotel bathrooms and drunken parties or cut him out entirely.
“It looks like it hurts,” he continued, even though I hadn’t acknowledged the fact that he was speaking to me.
You know what hurts? You pretending I’m invisible. “No, it doesn’t hurt,” I lied. I didn’t need Matthew Caldwell to fake care about me. You hurt. You hurt me.
He lowered his eyebrows slightly like he could read my mind.
“We were just talking about her dodgeball incident,” Rob said, breaking the awkward silence. “She wants our project to be fitness related.”
&n
bsp; Matt smiled and rested his elbows on my desk. “Even after today?”
“Just because I’m not super coordinated like the two of you doesn’t mean I don’t take fitness seriously. I prefer running.”
“I feel the passion,” Rob said.
Matt locked eyes with me. “Me too.”
They were both acting weird. I grabbed my notebook and wrote down “fitness” at the top. “We could do something health food related if you’d rather,” I said without looking up.
“Yeah, yeah, that would be fine,” Matt said. “Whatever you want to do is fine with us. I’m glad you got home safely on Friday. I was worried about you.”
Worried? Yeah, right. This wasn’t supposed to be how today went. I wanted to crawl under my desk. Instead I had to sit there, my heart rate increasing by the second with his eyes on me.
“Maybe next time avoid the punch altogether.”
Please don’t talk about this. Ever. “Yup.” I jotted down the health food idea in my notebook.
“We should probably exchange numbers for the project, don’t you think? And that way I can text you if I’m ever worried again.”
I forced my eyes not to roll. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”
Rob laughed. “Shot down, buddy. Sanders, you’re even cooler than I realized.”
“Okay, so no phone number,” Matt said. “We’re going to have to work on this outside of class though. So I need a way to contact you.”
My notebook page was very interesting so I didn’t look up. “I think we should just roll with the fitness thing since we’re all so passionate about it. We can split up the work for the project and do it independently.”
“Double shot down,” Rob said with a laugh.
Matt leaned forward even more, his strong forearms dangerously close to my notebook. “I was kind of hoping that we’d work really really dependently. Lots of visits to each other’s houses. Late-night study sessions. That kinda thing.”
I looked up at him to tell him he was ridiculous. That this project didn’t need study sessions because it was a project and not a test. But I swallowed down my words when I looked into his chocolaty brown eyes.
