I watch as Max straps Layla into her seat, when he straightens, I brush as close as I dare past him, and lean in and give her a kiss. “Be good for your nan. I love you,” I whisper against her cheek before pulling away.
“Call me, kid. We’ll be there next Wednesday anyway, but call if you need anything.”
“Will do,” I assure my brother as I shift from foot to foot.
The last few hours have been awkward. Mel has made me so self-conscious that I’ve tried to stay out of Max’s line of sight in case my brother picks up on the fact he’s watching me, which is a crying shame because I love the fact Max watches me to the point other people have noticed it.
Max pulls me into him for what, on the surface, looks like a PG hug. “I’ll text you first chance I get,” he whispers against my ear before pulling away. “Look after yourself, Bamm.” His voice still quiet.
I can barely look at him, afraid my eyes will be brimming with the emotions I’m feeling right now. I don’t care if Max sees, I want him to know. My brother, not so much.
With a final nervous smile and a quick wave, I climb into the back of the car and down into the footwell on the back passenger side. A blanket is placed over me and the car door slams shut. I hear the engine of one car start, then ours.
“You all right down there, Spice?”
“Fan-fucking-tastic, Mick,” I reply, leaning heavily on the sarcasm.
“As soon as we get on the motorway and we know it’s safe to do so, I’ll pull over.”
“Can’t wait.”
I hear Micky chuckle. “It’s been a few years since I’ve had to smuggle birds in and out of Max’s place like this.”
“TMI, Mick, T-M-I.”
“Sorry, forgot about the rainbow shitting unicorns prancing about between you two. Right, hold tight, gates are opening, and there are about twenty of the fuckers out here. We’ll let the other cars go first.”
“Cars?” I question.
“Yeah, didn’t want to take any chances, so we’ve got a couple of decoys leaving too. The paps won’t know which one to follow … that’s the plan any way.”
My heart rate accelerates at the same time the car does and Micky mumbles, “Fuck off, mate.”
After a minute or so of silence, a call connects through the cars Bluetooth system, and Mick answers with, “What we got?”
“Two on a motorbike coming up the outside of you now.”
“Yeah, just clocked them.”
“Passenger’s got a long lens.”
“Fuckers. If I get caught at the next set of lights, they’ll try and get their shot. We should be good though, she’s well covered.”
“You want me to stay behind them?”
“Yep, let me know if they fuck off. Hopefully, this rain will put them off.”
“Will do.”
The call disconnects just as mine vibrates in my pocket.
“Don’t answer that,” Mick calls out. “Sorry, Spice, I should’ve told you to shut it down before we left. You still doing all right?”
“Still super.”
“Good girl. Lights are red. I need to stop, and there’s a pap on a bike coming up the driver's side. You’ll hear a bang if his lens hits the window.”
I hear something hit the glass a couple of times before the car moves forward.
“With any luck, he’ll check the shots now, think I’m on my own, and fuck off.”
“Not feeling the luck today, Mick.”
I hear him chuckle again just as another call comes through.
“They’ve shot off.”
“Cheers, mate. As soon as we get past the Westbourne Green sports complex off The Westway, we’ll get Billie in the front and strapped in. Just cover us, will ya.”
“Gotchya.”
Ten minutes later, I’m buckled into the front passenger seat, and we make the two-hour drive to Hampshire where Jay and Marnie’s sprawling estate is situated on the edge of the New Forest.
Max
Everyone except Jake has left, and I’m in desperate need of a shower, a change of clothes, and to talk to Billie. When I went back earlier, I was distracted by a sexy as fuck redhead in a cute green beanie. She’s well on her way to Hampshire now, and as much as I hate to do so, I need to shower and wash her scent from my skin.
“I’m gonna nip across the road and grab some clean clothes and some beers. You all right here?”
“Reckon I’ll manage. You safe over there on your own with the toxic twosome?”
“Got my phone. I’ll text if I have any problems, but if I’m not back in thirty, call the police,” I shout out as I head down the stairs, only half-joking.
I’ve not seen Whitney all day. Aaron has advised that I steer clear and if I do bump into either her or her sister, to keep my mouth shut. When I exit the door leading from my laundry to the hallway, I catch Deana at the bottom of the stairs.
“Deana.” I acknowledge her but keep moving.
“Oh. Hey, Max, I was just looking for you. Whitney and I were just going to order takeout for dinner and wondered if you’d like to join us?”
Is this chick for fucking real? I want to pull her up on the blatant lies she told both Billie and me. I give her a tight-lipped smile before answering with, “No thanks. I’m working with Jake over in the studio. We'll order something later.”
“Is Layla over there with you? Do you need us to mind her? I’m sure Billie would welcome the break after the day she must’ve had.”
“Nope, Billie’s fine, and Layla is tucked up in her new cot at her place sleeping soundly, so I’ve got it covered, thanks.”
I watch as Deana fights to keep the fake smile plastered on her face. “Okay then, if you’re sure.”
“Positive,” I tell her with a nod. “There are takeaway menus in the drawer under the microwave,” I call as she heads along the hallway, and I climb the stairs.
Grabbing clean boxers, jogging bottoms, and a hoodie from my wardrobe, deodorant and a toothbrush from the bathroom, I close my bedroom door behind me and leave.
Jake has brought the PlayStation we have set up in the studio into the flat and is playing FIFA when I reach the top of the stairs.
He nods as I pass him but continues talking into the headset.
I close the bedroom door, the bathroom door, turn on the shower, and then call Billie.
“Hey,” her voice sounds sleepy as she answers, and both my heart and my dick react.
“Hey. You there yet?”
“Fifteen minutes away,” I hear Micky say.
“Any problems?”
“Just a pap on a bike, but they left as soon as they thought the car was empty,” Billie tells me.
“It was that prick, Spencer,” Micky again calls out.
“Fucker.”
“Everyone left your place?” Billie asks.
“Everyone except Jake. We’re gonna have a couple of beers, order takeaway, and play FIFA. I think Aaron was worried I might do something stupid and left Jake to babysit, all of which shows how little faith anyone has in my ability not to walk across the driveway and throttle someone—two someones in fact—if they’ve left Jake in charge. He can’t look after himself most of the time. Have you got me on speaker?”
“No, she hasn’t. I just have exceptional hearing,” Micky replies. “But don’t worry, I know all about the love fest going on between you two. And just a heads-up, Jakey boy has his suspicions too.”
I tilt my head and look up at the ceiling through the steam. “I’m locked in the bathroom with the shower running while I make this call just so he can’t hear me.”
“Naw, that’s sweet,” Billie responds.
“Yeah, I have my moments. So, what was the go with Mel earlier? I got sidetracked by that green beanie and forgot to ask. She looked like she’d been crying when she came out of your bedroom, and her and Kenz didn’t take their eyes off us all afternoon.”
“She suspects something’s going on between us because, apparently, you watch me c
onstantly. If your eyes aren’t on Layla, then they’re on me.”
“I do watch you.”
I hear Micky make a gagging sound then an oomph.
“Did you just slap him?” I ask.
“Yeah, but it was a gentle slap. He’s driving.”
“Yeah, and he needs to do it safe, he has half my entire fucking world on board.”
She’s silent, and I feel like a dick. “Too much?”
“Absolutely not. It’s just been an emotional day, and I don’t wanna cry.”
“I don’t want you to cry, just want you to know how much you mean to me, and that it sucks hairy balls here without you.”
“Max, I said I don’t wanna cry, and yuk to the hairy ball sucking.”
“Sorry. Listen, Aaron wants me to be seen out and about tomorrow, you know a-business-as-usual type of front, so I’m gonna go to the label in the morning and then have lunch with Lennon, Marley, and Jake. Just wanted to give you the heads-up in case you see anything on social media.”
“Ugh, I think I’ll be avoiding social media for the next seven hundred years.”
“Bamm, that’s a big fat lie, and you know it.”
“Forty-eight hours then. I’m relying on Daniel to feed me updates and only report on the nice things being said. Oddly enough, he’s been mostly silent all afternoon.”
“Whatever works for you, but trust me on this, you need to ignore whatever’s being said. I just want you to know what I’ll be up to tomorrow while I’m missing you.”
“Okay, thank you. I’ll look out for images of my two favourite men. Jake and Marley together, yum, yum. Tell Marley I said hello.”
“Ha, she’s got bants. I’ll tell Marley to go fuck himself, that’s what I’ll tell him.”
I love this. The easy banter between us, like we’re a normal couple and the eyes of the world aren’t trained on our next move.
“Bants? What are you, twenty?”
“Welp, you know what they say, you’re only as old as the woman you feel—”
“And now we have the dad jokes. I’ll definitely start crying if you keep this up. Good job we’ve just arrived at Jay's.”
“Okay, I’ll FaceTime you later. Miss you.”
I want to say more, so much more, but I know it’ll be too much. Way too much, way too soon. I feel like our relationship is on crack. Because we spend all day and most evenings around each other, and because of our history, it’s like our relationship is weeks or months old, rather than days.
“Miss you too, Max.”
She ends the call.
Billie
Jay and Marnie are as welcoming as always when I arrive. They live in the most amazing refurbished property, right on the edge of the New Forest. The main house has about eight bedrooms, four of which are taken up by their daughters, and sits on fifteen acres. They have stables, a large paddock, greenhouses, an art studio for Marnie, a state of the art recording studio for Jay, an indoor/outdoor pool, and a thirty-seater cinema. The place really is the stuff of dreams.
Marnie is from California, and we met up a few times while I was studying and working there and she was visiting.
When we pulled up on their driveway, her and Jay were both there to greet us, and now I’m sitting in her kick-arse Victorian style kitchen. Jay makes Mick and Frankie a coffee while both of them chat away to us, asking questions as they move around each other. Jay holding Evie, their youngest, on his hip.
Ava, Wren, and Belle, their other three girls, are at the huge, dining table with school books spread out around them. Not that there appears to be much studying going on. Lot’s of noise, but very little studying.
I pour my tea from the pot it’s been served in, and listen to the noise and the chaos around me, I take in the big red Aga and the worn and scratched farmhouse table and the love in Jay’s voice as he tells his cackling daughters to turn the volume down a notch, hits me.
This is what I want.
With Max and Layla and all of the new babies I plan on giving him, this is what I want. The noise, the love, the chaos, and the laughter, maybe not a big red Aga because cleaning that monster is so not my jam, but all the rest? I’m all in.
So, when Micky kisses me goodbye and tells me to be good, and when Marnie and Jay leave the room to wave him off and Marnie returns asking me what I’d like for dinner, I barely notice any of it.
“Billie, you okay?”
I look up at Jay as a tear tracks down my cheek. I brush it away. “I’m so sorry. I think the stress of today has just hit me.”
Marnie sits at the table opposite me while Jay herds his daughters up and out of the room so we can talk.
“I’ll get them all to shower and pyjama up,” he calls out.
“You’re my absolute hero, and I promise to love you forever,” Marnie replies.
“He’s so good with them. I love having him home. I’m dreading them going back in the studio and on tour next year.”
“Will you go with him?”
“Yeah. We have a full-time tutor for the girls now, so she’ll come with us, and I won’t have to worry about their schooling.”
“Belle turns ten next year and has asked to attend the local high school once she’s eleven . . . secondary school, do you call it here?”
“Secondary or high school, they’re all pretty much the same. I didn’t go to school until I went to live with Cal.”
“And how did you find it?”
I sip my tea. “I went to school in London, remember? It might be different out here.”
“You hated it.”
“Yeah,” I admit. “But I’d had so little interaction with other children, I wasn’t prepared for their meanness.”
“Hmm. Belle has three sisters and is quite often the instigator of the meanness.”
“She’ll do just fine then.”
She smiles into her tea as Freya Ridings begins playing through a hidden sound system. Marnie rolls her eyes. “The hormones have kicked in with Belle already. The only songs she’ll listen to are full of angst and emotion.”
“I’m all about the angst and emotion,” I admit.
I watch as Marnie does something on her phone that turns the music down.
“That’s cool,” I tell her.
“Yeah, it’s all hooked up to some kind of Bluetooth system. Jay likes to know what the girls are listening to or watching, so everything can be controlled from our phones.”
We’re both quiet again as we sip our tea.
“Are you seeing anyone?” Marnie’s pale blue eyes sparkle from across the table as she asks. “What happened with the hunky ex-marine, did that all end when you left Los Angeles?”
“It never really got started. One hot and heavy make-out session on the sofa in my apartment, and I decided it just wasn’t worth the hassle if things didn’t work out and we still had to work together.”
“Damn, that’s a shame, all that ink, and abs . . .” She trails off, shaking her head.
Jay isn’t exactly buff, more tall and lean, but he’s covered in ink and drop-dead gorgeous in a pretty-boy, Christopher-Mason kind of way. Jake has a similar kind of blue-eyed, blond-haired surfer look, except he’s younger and a little more ripped. My brother is shorter, totally ripped, with darker, dirty blond hair and grey-blue eyes. And then there’s Max. My Max. Tall, dark, inked and those eyes . . .
“So, there’s no one else on your radar?”
“Max,” I tell her quietly.
If I’m gonna sit at the woman’s table, sip green tea, and accept her hospitality for the next month or so, then I’m not gonna do it bare-faced lying to her.
“Excuse me?”
“On my radar, there’s Max.”
“Max? Our Max? Max Young?”
“That Max, yes.”
Her cup hovers in front of her face a while before she places it on the saucer, picks it up, takes a sip, and places it back down.
“But how? When? Holy shit does your brother know?”
�
��It just happened, and, no, Cal doesn’t know, hence the reason both Max and I are still breathing.”
“I honestly don’t know what to say . . . I . . . shit, I mean, wow.”
“It is. It’s very wow,” I tell her. “And it’s loud, passionate, and amazing. It was instant, and it’s so quiet and comfortable and just so there. Unavoidable. It smacked us both in the face, hooked us, and reeled us in. We’ve managed to keep our heads enough to know what’s at stake. We’re going to keep this as quiet as we can until after Max can file for divorce. The fall out from that alone is going to be bad, and once we go public, I honestly have no clue what’s going to happen.”
“All hell’s gonna break loose, that’s what’s gonna happen. I can tell you right now, your world is about to ride the crazy train.”
“So I keep being told.”
I watch as Marnie shakes her head. “Damn, girl, I need something stronger than green tea right now.”
She stands, goes to the massive fridge freezer, and pulls out a bottle of Grey Goose. “You want one?”
“No thanks, after what’s gone on today, I might just become a lifelong teetotal.”
“Ha, yeah, just wait till you have more kids. We’ll see how long that lasts.” She fills a shot glass with vodka, knocks it back, and pours another.
“Just so I’ve got this straight, no one knows about this?” Marnie questions.
“Mel kinda knows, and Cal is a little suspect but has no firm evidence. Aaron knows, Micky knows, Jake knows.”
I’m hit with a wave of tiredness as I talk and attempt to stifle a yawn.
“I’ve put you and Max over in the cottage because I thought my girls would drive you crazy if you’re going to be staying for a month or longer. After what you’ve just told me, my thoughts are that you’re going to wanna hide out for a lot longer once news of you and Max breaks. But is you guys staying over there going to be a problem for your brother if he suspects something’s going on?”
All the Forbidden Things Page 32
