“To be honest, I love my brother, but I’m not letting anyone stand in the way of this.” I twist my cup around in the saucer as I stare down into it, tiredness and all of today’s drama washing over me again. “I’ve had things happen to me, things done to me, that I’ve had no control over. This isn’t going to be one of them,” I finally look up and say.
Marnie rubs her hands over her face and smiles her all-American-Californian-boho-girl smile and says, “I’m so excited for you. So excited and happy for both you and for Max, and I really, really and truly hope it works out. You have my support, Billie, one-hundred-million per cent.”
“For what?” Jay walks into the room and asks.
Max
“I’m telling ya, you could literally see the snail trail she left behind as she walked away, she couldn’t take her eyes off you.”
I shake my head at Jake’s crass comment and stare towards the window from our booth at Aqua, which is on the thirty-first floor of The Shard building.
We’ve only got as far as placing our drinks order and have already signed four napkins and taken six selfies with other diners. I’ve chatted, I’ve smiled, I’ve signed, and the whole time my heart has ached for Billie and Layla, or should that be Layla and Billie? Fucked if I know, and after barely sleeping a wink last night without them, I don’t have the energy to think about it too much.
“Dude, your head’s so full of the nanny you can’t smell the fanny right under your nose,” I think is what Jake says, but I’m so lost in my thoughts that I’m barely listening.
Marley spits his drink, Lennon chokes and follows it up with, “Oh no, no, no, no. Do not tell me that means what I think it means.”
I turn my attention back towards the conversation at our table, a smile on my face as I think about the FaceTime phone sex I’d had with Billie at two o’clock this morning, then again at seven.
“For fuck's sake, Young, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Billie, the nanny? Billie Wild?”
My heart lurches, landing in a spot too high up in my throat. My eyes dart between Jake, Lennon, and Marley, who are all staring at me.
“What?” I question.
“Are you even on the same planet as us right now?” Lennon asks.
“Sorry. What?”
“What Lennon wants to know is are you fucking Mary Poppins?” Marley says.
“Who?”
“The nanny,” Marley answers slowly.
My first thought is that Billie thinks Marley Layton is hot.
“You don’t even know my nanny,” I tell him. Does he?
“Cal’s little sister, the redhead, right? Short, big tits, nice arse—” I glare and he just grins and keeps talking. “Dude, her picture’s been plastered all over the newspapers and gossip sites this weekend. You’re part of our label, so it’s my job to know what the fuck is going on with you. Plus, I’m nosy, and she’s gorgeous, so I had a look. Gotta say, man, well played, well fucking played.”
“Yeah, yeah, we get it, Marls, but she’s twenty-two. Twenty-fucking-two. Younger than your own daughters,” Lennon states.
Marley grins at me and winks. “You ol’ dog.”
“You’re not helping here, Marls.”
“Shut up, Len, the boy did good. And as long as he’s happy, I don’t see the fucking problem.”
The waitress reappears, and we all remain silent as she puts our drinks down in front of us.
“The problem is … The problems are, she’s his nanny, for fuck’s sake. She’s twenty-fucking-whatever, and she’s Callum Wild’s little sister. Talk to me, Max, and start making sense. What the fuck’s going on with you right now?” Lennon asks, his eyes narrowed on me from across the table.
My eyes dart from Marley to Jake as my sluggish brain plays catch up.
“Sorry, dude,” Jake says from where he appears to be trying to sink lower into his seat.
Marley claps his hands together, and wearing his biggest smile, he says, “Oh, this is good. I love that, for once, it’s not me wringing the for fuck’s sakes out of Lennon.”
“Right, this is not a conversation we need to be having here anyway. Too many ears listening. We’re going straight back to my office once we’re done, and don’t even think about trying to get out of it.”
While Marley and Jake grinned, held up sheets of paper with cocks and balls drawn on them that declared me a “pussy” and “wanker,” I received a two-hour bollocking from Lennon. As a partner of our label, Marley is supposed to be one of my bosses, but he behaves more like Jake’s big brother and mentor on how to be a dick. Now, after an hour and a half of sitting in London traffic for what should’ve been a twenty-five minute journey, and after three calls to Billie, which all go to voice mail, I can’t help but treat the welcoming party of reporters and paparazzi waiting at my gates to a double helping of middle finger salutes as Micky drives us past them.
When I come through my front door, the welcoming party is even uglier.
“Where’s Layla?” Whitney is waiting for me in the hallway. “Don’t even bother lying. I know she’s not over the yard with Billie. Deana’s been over there and knocked at her door twice already today.”
“She’s at my mum’s.”
“What? Why?”
“Billie needed to get away for a few days, and I’m heading into the studio soon to start recording the new album, so I’ll be staying at Jay’s. Mum wanted to spend some time with Layla before we leave.”
“God damn it, Max. I’m her mother. What if I wanted to spend time with her before you leave?”
“Our daughter is almost three months old. She’s spent almost her entire life without you wanting to spend time with her, so why would I think you’d suddenly want that now?”
“I was in an accident, Max. I spent weeks in the hospital fighting for my life.”
My head spins as I fight to control the anger welling up inside me. “If you remember rightly, you left our daughter with me when you fucked off with your drug-fucked fuck boy. And, if you can remember back to when you made that decision, you did it without even knowing if she was mine.”
“Who says I didn’t know if she was yours?” she spits.
“You did. You told me to get a paternity test.”
“No, I never.”
I open my mouth to speak and then close it, realising that she’s fucking with me and I’m walking right into her game.
“Okay, Whitney, I apologise. My mistake. Doesn’t change anything, though, Layla’s still at Mum’s, and that’s exactly where she’ll be staying until I collect her and take her to Jay and Marnie’s with me.”
“I’m calling my lawyer.”
“You have no money, you can’t afford a lawyer.” I call out and head towards the stairs.
“No win, no fee. They couldn’t say no to such a high profile case.”
I turn back around to face her, watching as she manouvres her wheelchair and follows me to the bottom of the stairs.
“Well good for you. Call them, better still, get yours to call mine, and he’ll tell yours exactly how this is gonna go.”
“This? What this?”
“This is whatever you turn it into, Whit. I’ve played nice so far. I’ve paid your medical bills, welcomed you back into my home after you walked out, offered to pay for your flight back to the States and to set you up comfortably until you are literally back on your feet. But if you wanna start threatening me with lawyers, we can renegotiate all of that.”
I look down at her from where I stand on the second step of my stairs and I hold the bannister as hard as I hold my temper. Without a word, she turns her chair around and takes off down the hallway towards her room.
After letting out a shaky breath, I go to my room, throw everything I can think I might need into a suitcase, grab Layla’s headphones and my guitar, and make my way over to the flat, once again double flipping the paps when the fuckers start calling my name. Dumping everything in Billie’s front room, I call her again.
And
again it goes to voice mail.
“Four times, Bamm. Four times I’ve called. Four times it’s gone to voice mail. Four times you’ve failed to call me back. Be prepared to be banged. Four times. Right into next week, Bamm. Four times I’m gonna bang you into next fucking week when I get there, so you best get that pretty little pussy of yours wet, warmed up, and ready to be well and truly fucked.”
I hang up, pull everything out of my badly packed case until I find my work out gear, and then head down to the gym to run off some of my anger and frustration.
Billie
I listen to Max’s voice mail for the two-hundred-and-seventy-eighth time, and just like every other time I listened, I smile and enjoy the fanny flutters it evokes.
I didn’t mean to ignore his calls, but I’d spent nearly the whole of yesterday leaving the bullshit of London behind and riding Marnie’s horse, Quantro, through the paddocks, woods, forest, and along the lanes surrounding their house.
I’m now waiting in their kitchen, hoping Max and Layla get here before my brother so I can at least get a kiss and a cuddle in before they arrive.
He hadn’t called me back again after the fourth time, and I hadn’t called him. And now . . . now I’m pacing like a crazy person because the anticipation is about to kill me. My heart hurts because I miss him, and everything below my waist aches because his message has left me so fucking horny.
Marnie has set up the crib she’s used for the girls in her kitchen, we have a full sized cot set up over at the cottage, all waiting on Layla’s arrival.
Marnie floats into the room, the way she appears to float everywhere in that ethereal, Earth-Mother kind of way of hers. She’s holding up her phone. “I’ve just let Micky in the gate,” she says with a mischievous smile on her face.
Without a word, I rush outside.
Bouncing on my toes, I watch the black Evoque make it’s way up the long winding drive.
The passenger side door is open before the car even comes to a stop, and Max’s feet have barely touched the floor when I fly at him. He doesn’t falter before his hands are under my arse cheeks and he’s holding me tightly against him while burying his face into the side of my neck. I wrap my legs around his hips, grab two handfuls of his hair, and pull his face to mine.
And then I kiss him.
And I kiss him.
And then I kiss him some more.
When I can no longer breathe, I pull back and look at him.
“Hope you’re ready for me, Bamm?”
“So fucking ready.”
“Good, ’coz you are so gonna get it. Missed you.”
“Can’t wait. Missed you too. Where’s Layla?”
“Right here, but I’m shielding her little eyes and ears from the porno playing out in front of me,” Marnie responds from the back passenger side of the car as she lifts Layla out.
“This is nothing, Marn, the porno won’t be played out till later, once I get Bamm on her own.”
I slide down Max’s body and release him, only for him to throw his arm over my shoulder and walk me towards Marnie and Layla.
“I love that you still call her, Bamm,” Marnie tells him as he pulls her in for a cuddle and a kiss on the cheek before she hands Layla over to me.
I bury my nose into her neck and breathe her in.
Jay appears, and manly handshakes and back slaps ensue.
“Thanks for looking after my girl,” Max says to Jay.
Aaaand I want to take my clothes off and sit on his face right here, right now.
“Any time, dude, any time. Good to see you. So fucking good. Sorry for what’s gone down, but looks like it’s all worked out for the best.”
“The very best, man.”
“Who knew? All these years, all the history, and just look what it’s led to.”
Jay’s wearing the biggest smile as he takes us in, and if my brother’s reaction is the same as Jay’s, my life will be made. I’ll only have the other seven and a half billion people on the planet to worry about.
“Yeah, hello. Thanks for noticing the adopted child is here.”
We all turn to see Jake move towards us with a large, leather overnight bag slung over his shoulder.
“Sorry, forgot to mention the brat ponced a ride with me.”
“Ponced? Fucking ponced? Sorry for being under the illusion Micky works for everyone in the band, and is not solely employed to be at the beck and call of the mighty Max Young.”
“Shut up complaining, brat. Otherwise, I’ll be checking you into the pub in the village,” Jay tells Jake.
“Can you hear this, Marn? They’re ganging up on me already.”
“I can. They’re mean. Come here, little brother, I’ll protect you.”
Jake moves in, kisses Marnie’s cheek, and wraps his arms around her.
“Mmm,” Jake sighs, “cleavage, a hint of nipple too, nice.”
Marnie slaps him around the back of the head. “And this is why you’ll be checking into a room at the pub. And be warned, it’s haunted.”
“Have you spoken to Cal? What time are they getting here?” I ask.
“They’re not coming till next week,” Max tells me. “We’re here a week early remember? Thanksgiving isn’t until next Thursday, they’ll be here Wednesday.”
“Shit, I’ve only been here a day, and I’m already losing track of time.”
“Yeah, you also missed your hospital appointment yesterday. Mel messaged me to say she’s been calling but has had no reply. It’s like you dropped off the planet as soon as you got here.”
“This place’ll do that to ya, it’s why we love it so much.” Jay slides his arm around Marnie’s waist, as Evie buries her face into her dad’s neck, refusing to look at Jake who’s using just his index finger to tickle her with.
Marnie lets out a deep satisfied sigh. “It is. No idea how you guys cope in London anymore, especially now, with a baby to raise … We’ll get you an appointment to have your arm looked at locally, Billie. We’re not that far away from civilisation that we don’t have doctors. ”
“I agree. This place is everything.” I look up at Max. “It really is. It’s everything that I want.”
His eyes dance all over my face, and he smiles and nods slowly. “We can make that happen,” he tells me while wearing a sexy smirk on his face.
“Jesus, we gonna have to put up with this all weekend?” Jake asks.
“There’s always the haunted pub, arsehole,” I tell him.
Max
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask as I hold the T-shirt up in front of me. I look around the table at everyone attempting to suppress their laughter and try and gauge who it was that drew me in the Kris Kringle, or Secret Santa, or whatever the name is of this gift-giving bullshit.
“Try it on,” Jake encourages—he’s my numero uno suspect.
“Did you buy me this?”
Jake shrugs. “Just try it on.”
“It’s a fucking Carnage T-shirt. I’m not trying it on. I’m never gonna wear it, so why would I even bother trying it on?”
“Wow, you really gonna spit the dummy over a T-shirt? Layla, tell your dad to grow the F up,” Kenzie says from where she’s sitting across the table, sporting her new pale-pink-and-grey striped, double pom-pommed bobble hat, scarf, and fingerless gloves.
“I’ll have it if you don’t want it,” Billie offers. Her having a major crush on Marley Layton being the main reason I will never wear the fucking T-shirt I’m holding up in my hands. It has his and Sean McCarthy’s faces front and centre.
“Nah-ah.” Mel shakes her head. “You know the rules: no swapping gifts, and we all have to wear or use what we receive on the first day we leave here, take a pic of us doing so, and share it in our group chat.”
“Those are stupid fucking rules. It’s not even Christmas, it’s Thanksgiving, and I’m not even American, so I don’t know why I’m even involved.” Balled up sheets of Christmas wrapping paper come flying at me from all directions, and I
laugh. “Fine, I’ll wear the fucking thing, and maybe I’ll take up smoking and accidentally-on-purpose burn a hole right through it.”
“Just give it to Kenzie to wash,” Cal says, “It’ll come back fitting Layla perfectly.”
Kenzie’s mouth drops open, but no words come out as we all laugh, remembering the time she “borrowed” a lambswool jumper of Mel’s without asking, spilt blackcurrant down it, then washed it in the machine to get rid of the evidence. When it came out of the wash nine times smaller than it went in, Kenz put it back in Mel’s wardrobe like nothing had happened.
I catch Billie smiling at Kenz as I look down the table. My gut tightens as I watch her feeding Layla with one hand while shoving a Marks & Spencer’s chocolate covered tea cake into her mouth. I’d bought her fifty-pounds-worth as her Kris Kringle, she was almost finished the second pack, and has so far refused to share a single one.
After leaving the drama of London behind, we’ve had the best week holed up in our little cottage at Jay’s place. I’ve spent days in the studio with Jay and Jake. Billie has spent her days with Marnie, and her girls, Layla, and the horses.
With Layla strapped to my chest, we’ve taken long walks through the New Forrest, which backs on to Jay’s land, spent lazy afternoons in front of the fire, while I write and Billie reads the filthy books Wendy keeps recommending to her, and long nights getting lost in each others bodies. It really has been exactly what we needed, but now Cal and Mel are here and we’ve had to pull back on the looks, touches, and anything else that might give us away.
Billie places the bottle down on the table and says something while looking down adoringly at Layla before lifting her against her chest and gently patting her back. I love watching them together and don’t even realise I’m smiling until Cal’s glare catches my eye.
All the Forbidden Things Page 33
