The Edge of Destiny
Page 8
He got to her apartment and knocked on the door. It immediately opened, and she poked her head out. His heart rate sped up as he looked at her. It was clear she’d been crying. He stepped inside, ignored the loud warning in his heart telling him not to, and wrapped her in his arms.
For a long while, he held her tightly, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. His emotions felt all jumbled up as he held her. She pulled slightly away from him. His arms loosened around her, but he still held her hands. He searched her face and said, “I am so sorry, Lily. Please forgive me. I didn’t know that James was such a jerk, or I would never have let you anywhere near him.”
“It’s okay, Taylor. It’s not your fault.”
He gave her a sad smile. She smiled back, and he sighed. She looked so gloomy and weary, he couldn’t resist. He reached out and wiped away the streams of tears flowing down her cheeks.
She gasped and stepped away from him as though his touch had burned her.
He sighed with regret. Maybe he shouldn’t have touched her. He tore his eyes away from her and looked around her tiny apartment. The place was a dump and she had no furniture except for an old green sofa and blinds that had seen better days. He looked at her again. She was looking at him with worry in her eyes, and it pained his heart. Was she afraid of him for introducing her to James, or did she now distrust every man, including him?
He scolded himself again for touching her. She was in such a vulnerable place right now, and it would make sense if she didn’t trust him. The last thing she needed was any man’s unwarranted attention.
He moved farther away from her to put her at ease and said, “I’ll end every business and personal dealing I have with James Kilpatrick. I promise.”
“You don’t have to do that for me,” she said softly.
He shook his head. “There’s no way I can continue to relate with that creep after what he did to you.” Once again, he felt an overwhelming desire to hold her in his arms, but he immediately squashed the feeling.
He glanced around. This place was really awful. There was no way he would let her continue to live here. But how would he convince her to go with him, especially seeing how wary of him she looked?
He sighed loudly and said to her, “This place — not just your apartment, but this area you live in — is dreadful, Lily. Please come with me. I’ll find you somewhere else to stay.”
She took another step back from him, and he sighed again. She looked frightened, and he didn’t blame her for it. With what had happened to her, it was as expected. His gaze remained on her. “Lily, you know I’d never hurt you, right? I just don’t feel comfortable with you living here,” he waved his hand around her tiny living room, “like this.”
She shook her head. “I can’t come with you, Taylor. I know you wouldn’t hurt me, but...”
He frowned. “But what, Lily?”
“It wouldn’t be right,” she said. “You’re married and your wives aren’t here… in this city.” She shook her head again. “It just wouldn’t be right.”
He blinked. If he told her the truth, that he wasn’t married, he would be exposing his heart again to the possibility of loss and pain. He would become vulnerable. Confusion took hold of him. He wasn’t married now, and with the way he felt about her, he was pretty sure where revealing the truth to her would lead, and it was not somewhere he was ready to go now or possibly ever again.
He didn’t know what to say and, apparently, neither did she. They stood staring at each other in awkward silence for a long moment, and then he jerked his head up as the door suddenly flung open and an irate man walked in.
Lily turned to look at the man, and her eyes widened in obvious fear.
“You have to leave right now,” the man said, staring angrily at Lily. He turned back and Taylor followed his gaze. Another man stood at the door, looking into Lily’s living room, his arms folded across his chest.
The angry man turned to Lily again and said, “The guy who wants to rent this apartment is already here. If you don’t have money to pay the rent, you have to leave.”
Lily turned to Taylor, looking frightened.
Taylor sighed, looking at the irate man who was glaring at Lily. “I’m guessing this is your landlord, Lily?”
She nodded.
He searched her eyes. “Please come with me, Lily. It’s not like you have a choice.” She still looked scared, and he walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She looked at his hands, and he immediately withdrew them and stepped away from her. “You can come and stay in my hotel… at least until I can find you an apartment.” He shook his head when she blinked rapidly, an astonished look on her face. “No… I didn’t mean… We won’t be sharing a hotel room. You will stay on a completely different floor.”
She sighed loudly, and her shoulders slumped. “I guess I truly don’t have a choice.”
“So are you moving out now?” the landlord asked. He looked at Taylor with interest.
“Yes,” she answered, and turned away. Without looking at Taylor, she said, “Let me go and get my things. I have just a few of my belongings to pack up. I won’t be long.” She left the living room, and Taylor looked at the angry-looking landlord and then at the other man who was standing at the door. Both men were already walking around the living room even though Lily had not moved out yet, and that irritated Taylor. He wanted to tell them to leave as Lily had not yet vacated the apartment, but he thought better of it. There was no need to hinder this process or stir up any kind of trouble. The earlier Lily got out of this dump, the better.
Fifteen minutes later, Lily came out with a small suitcase. He was surprised that was all she had. She looked up at him and then walked to the windows. Standing on her toes, she grabbed the curtains, clearly trying to bring them down.
“Leave them,” Taylor said. “They’re dreadful.”
She looked back at him and shrugged. Walking away from the window, she stared down at her couch. “What about this?” she pointed at the worn-out couch. “How do I move it?”
He shook his head. “Just leave it here as well. It’s seen better days.” He eyed the landlord. “It belongs in a place like this.”
The middle-aged landlord smirked, but Taylor ignored him.
“So, are you ready to go?” he asked her.
She gave him a small smile and nodded.
“Then let’s get out of here.”
She began to roll her suitcase out of the apartment, and Taylor took it from her. She gave him a heart-melting smile, and he grinned back.
They made their way down the stairs in silence; she in front of him, he right behind her with her suitcase.
After the driver had put her suitcase into the trunk of the cab, he opened the door for them. Taylor waited for her to enter the car, then got in and sat beside her. She turned and stared out the window, while he tried to look straight on. But as the car began to speed down the road, he could not resist and stole a glance at her. She was still looking out the window, and he sighed softly.
Am I sure about this? Am I really doing the right thing? Lily was coming with him to his hotel. They would be in different rooms, but it would still be the same building. The temptation to go to her room and act on what he felt right now would be great, probably overwhelming. But there was no way he could have left her in that terrible place, especially after the landlord threw her out. She would have been stranded with no place to go if he hadn’t asked her to come with him. But he would have to find her an apartment quickly.
They finally got to the hotel and got out of the car. She gazed up at the hotel, and he smiled at her. “Let’s go in,” he said. He reached out to take her hand and then thought better of it.
They strode through the doors together, and he immediately remembered what she had said about appearances. For a minute, he worried that someone who knew him would see him here with her. He knew exactly what they would think. He was not overly concerned about his reputation, but it would not be fair to her for
people to assume what wasn’t true, especially as he was the one who had asked her to come here.
He walked to the front desk and shrugged off his concerns. They were staying in different rooms. Besides, what people decided to believe did not really matter. He turned back and beckoned to Lily, who was standing a few feet behind him looking around the lobby.
She walked up to him, while the concierge followed behind with her suitcase.
His heart pounded as he paid for a room for her. He could feel her gaze on him as he collected the room keycard. He turned and handed it to her, and she glanced at it before looking up at him again.
“You’re in room three-oh-seven. I’m on the top floor.” After he spoke, he groaned inwardly. Why did he tell her that? The way she was looking at him flooded his body with heat. He’d tried to put her mind at ease by letting her know that their rooms were far apart, but he’d clearly not succeeded. All he’d done was inform her that he knew her room number.
He smothered the urge to groan and told himself to calm down. So he knew where her room was, but that didn’t mean he would do anything about it. He wasn’t totally lacking in self-control.
They entered the elevator together with the concierge, and she moved to the other end away from him, while the concierge stood in front of them with her suitcase. Taylor glanced at her, but she’d turned her face away and plastered herself on the elevator. He didn’t know whether to be amused or worried about that. He finally couldn’t help smiling in amusement as they rode up to the third floor. What could possibly happen between them when the concierge was standing right here front of them?
The door opened to her floor, and she got out with the concierge. She smiled at Taylor just as the doors began to close again, and he told her he would call her tomorrow. He sighed as the door closed completely and then punched the button to the top floor.
When he entered his room, he sat on the bed and put his hand on his forehead. So Lily was now here in the same hotel as he was, and he knew where her room was. Her beautiful face was etched in his mind, her perfect figure. Why did he feel so drawn to her? So devastatingly attracted to her?
He groaned. He’d not felt any desire for anyone since his wife had died. He’d thought he was immune to it all, but the day he’d seen Lily at the store again, he’d known he was in trouble. And the more time he spent with her, the more his desire for her had grown, until it had become almost unbearable. He’d thought he had buried that part of him with Faye when she’d died, but clearly it was still alive and well.
“Oh Lord, you have to help me,” he groaned again. He had only two more days in Tucson, but he would still have to see her tomorrow. If he knew someone in Tucson who could help her find an apartment, he would have asked for help on her behalf and he wouldn’t have to see her again. But he knew no one. Even if he did, he would not trust anyone to help after what James had done. He had to find the apartment himself.
Again, the promise he’d made to Josh flashed through his mind: “Just the three of us. No one will ever come between us again.”
He had told himself after the way he’d treated Faye that he would never allow any other woman into his life. At least not for a long, long time. It was the only way he knew to honor her memory. But this intense desire he felt for Lily just months after Faye had passed away felt like a sacrilege somehow. He was disgusted with himself. He had to find a way to get hold of his desires and emotions.
Surely you can manage for a day, Taylor Dalton, he scolded himself.
It was the right thing to do, trying to help Lily in any way he could. He would give her as much help as possible, but that did not have to include giving her his heart. He had to guard his heart as well as try to smother this crazy attraction he felt for her. He would spend just one more day with her and hope his feelings would not get him into trouble. After that, he would thankfully go back to the two people who mattered most to him, and Lily would be forgotten.
Chapter 8
Lily opened her eyes and yawned. She sat up on the unfamiliar bed and stretched, and then switched on the table lamp beside her. Looking around the hotel room, she ran her hand across the bronze-colored satin sheets she had slept on. The sheets and the multiple pillows on the bed were so soft and so extremely comfortable, she knew she would stay in bed forever if she let herself. She had gotten into bed almost as soon as she’d arrived in the room the evening before, and even though her emotions were all jumbled up, she had decided not to engage them until the following day. She had fallen asleep almost immediately, emotionally weary.
She stretched and yawned again. She was awake now after a long, much-needed sleep, and though she’d thought the rest would help her, the troubling emotions from yesterday remained. She looked around the hotel room once more. She had never stayed in a place that looked this luxurious. Not even Sofia’s apartment, with all its unique souvenirs from the countries she had visited and the tasteful furniture, looked like this. But her luxurious surroundings did not distract her from her confusion.
She grimaced as she recalled the dream she’d had during the night. She had dreamt of Taylor. The details of the dream ran through her mind, and she felt herself blushing. She threw off the covers and groaned. “Why, oh why did I meet him that day in the store?” If only she had left immediately after she’d found what she’d gone there to buy, he wouldn’t have seen her and she wouldn’t feel this way.
But then you’d be in trouble with no place to stay.
That was true. Where would she be right now if not for him? Maybe she would have gone back to Sofia, but that would have been awful. The thought of going back to live with Sofia made her sick. George would still be with Sofia in her apartment. She had said he would stay for a full week.
Lily sighed. She was judging Sofia, and yet was she any better? She was staying in a hotel room paid for by a married man, and close enough to his room to do something about the raging desire she now felt.
She bit her lip at her admission. Never in her life had she felt this way before. It was a very uncomfortable feeling, especially knowing that the man she felt this way about was unavailable. What had she gotten herself into? Her saving grace was that she didn’t know what room he was in.
Her stomach flipped as a thought ran through her mind: he knew hers. What if he came here? He’d told her he would see her tomorrow.
She shook her head. There was no point thinking and worrying about it. Hopefully, he would have enough good sense not to come.
But what if he wasn’t thinking clearly… like her?
She jumped out of bed in a panic. If he came by, she couldn’t afford to let him see her looking like this.
Lily, I thought you were worried about what would happen if Taylor came here. Instead you’re worried about how you would look to him. She smiled in self-mockery and hurried into the bathroom to take a shower.
Afterward, she frantically rummaged through her suitcase, looking for something appropriate to wear. After a while, she straightened, took a deep breath, and told herself to calm down. Remember that the last thing you want to do is draw his attention to your body with what you wear.
She bent over her suitcase again, ignored all the clothes Sofia had bought her, and pulled out a simple short-sleeved maxi dress. It was one of the outfits she had brought from Fallow Creek, the kind that women usually wore there. She hoped it would simply say she wasn’t trying to get his attention or impress him in any way.
She looked down at the suitcase again. A pair of snug blue jeans and a sleeveless red top called out to her. She resisted the urge to pick them up. Normally, on other days, wearing the jeans and top would be fine. But today it would be a bad idea. If she couldn’t control her wayward thoughts, at least she could try to control what she wore and how she looked to Taylor.
By the time she’d finished dressing, she longed to see him so much that she knew wearing the very modest dress would not help at all, at least on her part, when she saw Taylor. She looked around the room again. Sh
e could not stay in this hotel room anymore. It was probably even wrong to hang around the hotel to see Taylor again. She remembered the way he had looked at her the day before, the way he had tenderly wiped away the tears on her cheeks. It was all wrong. He was married. He had no business doing that, and she had no business feeling the way she did about him. She had to leave now, before he called her or, worse, came to her door.
But where will I go? Back to Sofia’s?
She gritted her teeth as she thought. George would still be there. How would she go back and stay with her friend who was living with a married man?
She sat on the bed and groaned. Now she fully understood the phrase that Sofia had uttered some time ago when her friend had had to make a difficult decision. “Between the devil and the deep blue sea.” That was where she was right now.
“Oh Lord Jesus, please help me. What am I going to do now?”
She tried to calm her heart as she listened for guidance. But she heard nothing. Instead, she remembered that Taylor had given her Rachel’s number some days ago. She still hadn’t called her. She hadn’t remembered to.
How would you remember when you’ve been obsessing over her brother for days?
She reached for her purse on the bedside table and just before she plucked out her cell phone, the hotel phone rang. She reached out and answered it.
Taylor’s voice came on the other end, and her heart began to drum.
“Hey!” He had a smile in his voice. “You haven’t had breakfast yet, have you?”
“No.”
“Will you meet me downstairs in the breakfast lounge? We can have breakfast together and talk about getting you an apartment. I’ve already made some calls.”
“That’d be great,” she said, way too eagerly. She shut her eyes and moaned on the inside. Hadn’t she just been planning to leave this hotel right now so she would not have to keep enduring the temptation of being here with Taylor? Now, without thinking, she had told him she would meet him for breakfast. What was wrong with her?