Mr Spencer

by Swan, T L

  “Well, she soon will be. This isn’t fucking funny, Masters, you prick.” I put my head in my hands. “She’s young and never been on the pill before.” I try to think of an analogy. “She’s like a giant, golden uterus, just waiting to be fertilized.”

  They chuckle together.

  I shake my head in disgust. “Seb, Google what age a woman is most fertile,” I whisper in a panic.

  He takes out his phone and consults Dr Google.

  The waitress arrives with my drink and hands it over. “Thank you,” I whisper and take it with a shaking hand.

  Masters winces as he watches me. “Bring him another, please.”

  The waitress frowns and looks between us. “Is everything okay?”

  “No!” I splutter. “I’ve fucked it, I fucked the whole thing. And everything was going so great, too.”

  She purses her lips, unsure what to say to that.

  “Thank you,” Seb says to the waitress, obviously trying to get rid of her.

  I drain my glass of scotch while they watch on.

  “Why would you have unprotected sex?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. It was so good that I completely forgot I was a mere human with super potent bodily fluids.”

  “Fuck’s sake,” Seb mutters in disgust. “I need sex that good. I have fucking repetitive strain in my wrist. I think I’m going to have to start going back to Madison’s.”

  “Did Charlotte forget, too?” Masters frowns, ignoring Seb.

  I shrug. “I don’t know.”

  “Did she remind you?”

  “No.”

  “Did she freak out after?”

  “No.” I shake my head.

  “Fucking hell.” Masters rolls his eyes. “I thought you said she was all pure and wholesome. Surely she would have thought of this.”

  “Ah.” I point to them. “She isn’t pure at all, though. She’s as fucking dirty as I am and she didn’t even know it.” I run both of my hands through my hair. “Give it a few months and she will be running rings around me, I’m telling you. She loves it.”

  “Or waddling like Bree with a huge pregnant baby bump.” Masters smirks.

  Seb interrupts us with his search results. “Okay. It says here that a woman is most fertile at the age of twenty-four.”

  My eyes widen in horror. “Charlotte is twenty-five” I gasp.

  “Oh fuck, you’re doomed.”

  Masters laughs again. “What’s the problem, anyway? I thought you said she was perfect?”

  “She is.”

  “So…” Seb frowns. “Masters is right, what is the problem?”

  “I can’t have a kid. I only just got my first girlfriend. I can’t even have a dog yet.”

  “You’re thirty-seven, Spence,” Seb says, deadpan.

  I put my head into my hands. “It’s just a fucking number, okay! And you sound like my mother.”

  “When is her period due?” Masters asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  “When did she have her last one?”

  “I don’t know.” I look between them. “Should I know this?”

  “Uh, yes.” They both look at me as if I’m stupid. “You should definitely know this.”

  I think on it. “She definitely hasn’t had one since we’ve been having sex.” I shrug. “I know that much for sure.”

  “How long has that been?”

  “Umm.” I frown and try to remember. “About three weeks or so. Maybe longer.”

  “Which means she’s probably due around about now,” Masters tells me.

  “Has she been feisty over the last few days?” Seb asks.

  My eyes widen. “Yes.” I point to him. “Very fucking feisty, in fact. She threatened to bury me under my house and all.”

  They both laugh. “You’re safe,” Masters tells me just as our breakfast arrives.

  We all thank the waitress when she puts our meals in front of us.

  My nerves temper a little. “You reckon it’s okay?”

  “I know it is.” He takes a bite. “Hormones turn women into the devil. Death threats definitely qualify.”

  “Right,” Seb mutters.

  “Good, good,” I mutter under my breath, and I drag a hand down my face. “What a fucking morning,” I huff. “Best sex ever followed by a complete freak out in the elevator.”

  They both chuckle. “You didn’t even realise what you’d done until after?”

  “Nope.” I shake my head. “I’m slipping, man.”

  Seb giggles. “It’s a good thing you’re off the market. You’re getting sloppy, Spence.”

  “Or perhaps just happy.” Masters smirks, cutting through his toast. “Children with the woman you love are a blessing.”

  I exhale heavily as the scotch begins to warm my blood. “How is my breezer?” I ask.

  “Huge.” Masters smiles. “Fucking beautiful.”

  “How long have we got?”

  “A few weeks or so.”

  “Tell her to keep her legs crossed until I get back from this weekend.”

  “Why, where are you going?”

  “Greece.”

  “I take it this thing with Charlotte is going really well then.” Masters smiles.

  I shrug as I chew. “I asked her to move in with me.”

  Seb’s fork hits the plate with a clang, and they both stare up at me, shocked.

  “Are you joking right now?” Masters frowns.

  “No, why?” I ask, surprised by their reaction.

  “You’ve known her for six weeks.”

  “I know, and in such a short time I’ve become completely pathetic. I can’t stand a night away from her. Her idiot brother came to my office and warned me away from her. On top of that, Sheridan threatened to pull the account from me if I refuse to keep seeing her.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, get this. Sheridan comes to my work when I was on the phone… to you, actually, Seb.” I take a sip of my scotch. “She drops to her knees on the carpet and tries to give me a head job while I’m on the phone.”

  Seb frowns as he chews. “When the hell was this?”

  “The other day, when you called me about the mattress. So, she’s on her knees, and she tells me she loves me. Then she starts crying and shit. All this is going down the exact same time the receptionist buzzes through to tell me Edward Prescott is there to see me.”

  Masters chuckles and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Only fucking you, Spence. You have the best stories.”

  I roll my eyes. “Then I get rid of Sheridan with the promise of having dinner to discuss our relationship. Edward waltzes in and proceeds to tell me that fucking Alexander York has been spinning tales to him about Charlotte and I being together—”

  “Well, it is true,” Seb interrupts. “So, it’s not really a tale.”

  “What did you do?” Masters frowns.

  “He’s so fucking arrogant.” I shake my head. “We instantly despised one another. In the end, I kicked him out of my office.”

  “Jesus Christ,” Masters mutters. “You don’t do that shit to the future in-laws, Spence.”

  “Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do? I’m not putting up with his entitled shit. He doesn’t give a fuck about Charlotte, and unfortunately for him, I do.” I take an angry bite of my breakfast. “You know what pisses me off the most about the cockhead? He flew here yesterday from wherever the fuck he was, and he didn’t even call Charlotte to see how she was doing.” They both frown.

  “He doesn’t give a fuck about her feelings or wellbeing. All he cares about is his fucking self.” I chew my food as my anger begins to rise. “I mean, who the hell does he think he is? He doesn’t fucking control her. How dare he even think that he does.” I put my hand up for another drink.

  Masters looks down at my two empty scotch glasses. “Are you working today?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re going to work drunk?” Seb asks carefully.

  “Looks like it!”


  “What did Charlotte want to bury you for?”

  “Oh.” I throw my hands up in disgust. “That’s a whole other story. Sheridan wanted me to have dinner with her to discuss our relationship. I said yes just to get her out of my office because Edward was in the waiting room. Last night, I told Charlotte and she lost her ever loving shit over it. Like, she went full mode crazy bitch on me, saying it’s her or Sheridan from now on.”

  They both smile at me.

  “Not funny. Then I had to go to Sheridan and tell her that I wasn’t able to see her. That’s when she pulled the whole, if you won’t see me, how are we supposed to work together bullshit? Maybe I need to find another steel company to do business with.”

  Their faces drop. “How much is her contract worth to you?”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Fucking millions. But I don’t care, she’s not blackmailing me into being with her.”

  “God.” Seb sighs.

  “Anyway, that’s my week in a nutshell.” I sigh.

  “Sounds fucking hectic.” Seb winces.

  My eyes widen when I remember that there’s more to the story. “Oh, and some pap took a photo of me and Charlotte together. I’m assuming that will be everywhere soon, too.”

  Masters bursts out laughing while Seb shakes his head in disbelief. “I thought that once you got a girlfriend, things might be quieter for you.”

  “So did I.” I huff as my next scotch arrives. “So. Did. I.”

  Charlotte

  Beth smiles at me. “Tell me everything.” The two of us have met for lunch today. She’s been on a work conference for a week, although it feels like she’s been gone a month. I have so much to tell her.

  “Oh, Beth, he is…” I shake my head. “Words just don’t do him justice.”

  “Here we go. What happened to you playing it cool and not falling for him?”

  “I couldn’t help it.”

  She sips her drink, unimpressed.

  “We had the talk.”

  “What talk?” She frowns.

  “He wants to be exclusive and—”

  “What?” she interrupts me.

  “Honestly, I’m telling you, it really is something special between us. From his side, too.”

  “Ugh, okay, so he’s fucked you into submission. I get it.”

  I giggle. “Ah, the sex. How have I been missing out on this for so long?”

  She laughs. “I told you. And you do look stupidly happy.”

  I take her hand over the table. “I am, Beth. I’m so happy.”

  “Good for you, Lottie Prescott.” She glances over and makes eye contact with Anthony, slowly turning her attention back to me. “Could you give Anthony my phone number?”

  I glance around, and Anthony looks away guiltily. “Has something happened?”

  “He just looks at me like he wants to eat me.”

  I roll my lips to hide my smile. “That could be kind of good… couldn’t it?”

  “Fuck, yes. Pass him my number and just say, I’m setting you up with Beth, so here’s her number. Give her a call and she’ll fuck you real hard.”

  I laugh. “I am not saying that.”

  “Fine, say whatever you want. Just make sure he calls me.”

  “Okay.”

  “Now tell me what’s happening tonight.” She smiles.

  “I’m cooking Spencer dinner at his house,” I announce proudly.

  Beth smirks. “Look at you, being all domesticated.”

  “Do you want to come over?” I ask.

  “Hopefully I will be occupied with Anthony’s dick in my mouth. Give him my number straight away when you leave. Don’t forget, will you?”

  “He might not even call you.”

  “As if he won’t.”

  * * *

  Swoony Mr Spencer.

  It’s funny how quickly things become a habit.

  And by things, I mean Spencer Jones.

  Every night, we talk and eat dinner together, and then we lounge about and laugh all night, before he takes me to bed and makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. Well, it’s not always sweet lovemaking. He mostly fucks me like he hates me, but man, I love it when he hates me hard.

  I never dreamed that it could be this good or that I could feel this satisfied. For the first time in a long time, I’m living completely in the moment. I laugh all day at work and then my nights are full of Swoony Mr Spencer.

  Things are good—really good.

  I’m sprawled on the sofa, reading my book. My feet are in Spencer’s lap and he, too, is reading. He wasn’t joking in that email. He really is an avid reader.

  “Can you turn the television off?” Spencer asks, never letting his eyes stray from the page.

  “No, I have to have it on.”

  He looks up from his book. “What do you mean you have to have it on?”

  “I hate silent houses, haven’t you noticed? I have the TV on all the time.”

  He frowns. “But you don’t even watch it.”

  I know.” I turn the page of my book. “I need the noise.” I can feel his eyes on me, so I glance up. “What?”

  “Why do you need noise in the background?”

  I shrug. “It keeps me company.”

  “Why would you need company from the television?”

  “Well, I don’t now that I have you.”

  “When did you need company from a television in the past?”

  I roll my eyes. “Fine, if it’s that big of a deal.” I hold up the remote and switch it off. I go back to reading.

  “Charlotte.”

  I glance up at the tone of his voice. One thing I’ve learned about Spencer is that he only calls me Charlotte when something is on his mind. The rest of the time I’m his angel. “What?” I ask.

  “Will you answer my question, please?”

  “What was the question?” I sigh.

  “When did you need company from the television?”

  “Ever since my mother died.” He stares at me, and I can practically hear his brain ticking over from here. I drop my attention back to reading some more.

  “Have you heard from Edward this week?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “No.”

  He glares down at his book.

  “Why?” I ask.

  He turns the page so hard he nearly rips it. “No reason.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I’m just wondering why your brother flew across the world to accost me about spending time with you, and yet he didn’t even fucking bother to see you for himself.”

  I shrug sadly. I’ve been thinking about this all day, too. Disappointed is an understatement. “He’s very busy.” I sigh.

  “So busy that he has all the time in the world to scare everyone away from you, but none to actually spend time with you himself.” He turns the page angrily again. “Makes me fucking sick,” he mutters under his breath.

  “Spence.” I sigh. “Just drop it. It’s not like that with Edward and me. William is the one I’m close to. Edward loves me in his own way, he’s just misunderstood.”

  “Or perhaps just a selfish prick.” His eyes hold mine for a moment and then, as if feeling guilty, he asks, “When do I get to meet this beloved William whom you talk so fondly of?”

  “Soon,” I beam, and then I quickly go back to reading my book. But, once again, I can feel his eyes on me. I glance up. “What is it now?”

  “When is your period due?”

  I smirk. “Why?”

  “Because we had unprotected sex and you don’t seem to care.”

  I smile and go back to my book. “It will be here early next week.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I’m on the pill.”

  “You’re on the pill?” he gasps.

  “Why wouldn’t you tell me that? This is need to know information. Why have we been using condoms?”

  “Because I don’t know where you’ve been.”

  “In condoms, Charlotte
,” he snaps. “In condoms.”

  “You can stop stressing.”

  “I wasn’t stressing.”

  “You were, you’ve been stressing all week over it, I know you have.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I’m getting to know you, and I know when something is bothering you.”

  “Why didn’t you say something to put me out of my misery?”

  “Because I wanted you to ask me when my period was due and have this conversation.”

  He narrows his eyes and crawls over me, holding himself up on his elbows. “I have a good mind to punish you right now for freaking me out about impending fatherhood. That was evil. I’ve been fucking frantic.”

  I laugh out loud. “You idiot. Why didn’t you just ask?”

  He kisses me, and that’s his only answer.

  “We’re going to Greece tomorrow, remember?”

  He smiles broadly. “We are.”

  “What are we going to do in Greece?”

  “Eat, drink, swim, and fuck.”

  I laugh out loud. “You are a born romantic, Spencer Jones.”

  My phone dances on the table, the name Dad lighting up the screen. “You need to be quiet.” I jump up and get it.

  Spencer rolls his eyes, unimpressed.

  “Hello, Dad.” I sit back down beside Spencer.

  “Hello, darling.” My father’s kind voice drifts down the phone.

  Spencer’s eyes light up with something, and he drops to the floor between my legs. My eyes widen and I shake my head, mouthing the word, “No.”

  He smiles mischievously and begins to tug my pyjama pants down. I push his head away. “What’s been happening, Dad?” I ask, trying to sound casual.

  “Just working, as usual. I went to a Broadway show this week. I have business dinners a few nights this week. What are you doing? What’s new with you?”

  Everything.

  Spencer nips my sex with his teeth, and I slap the top of his head. “Just lounging around, getting ready for bed,” I lie as I widen my eyes at Spencer. “Stop it,” I mouth.

  He tears my pyjama pants down my legs and pulls me forward to the edge of the couch where he spreads my legs.

  “Oh my God,” I mouth. “What’s the weather like, Dad?” If only he could see what I’m doing now.