Never After

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  Clearly, she was going to give me no better answer. I made a little snort of irritation, hoisted my own bag over my shoulder, spared a moment to be vexed that neither Darius nor Harwin had thought to carry it downstairs for me, and left the room. Dannette came behind me, no longer smiling.

  “Let’s throw our things in the wagon before sitting down to breakfast,” she suggested, so I followed her out into the innyard.

  The wagon was already in place and a groom was leading the horses up to be hitched. Ours was not the only vehicle in the yard; I saw half a dozen gigs and carts lined up, waiting for their owners to down a hasty breakfast. My attention was caught by a particularly fine black carriage pulled by a matched team. I had a moment of intense longing. Oh, if only I could travel in that, how much more tolerable this expedition would be!

  When I was married to Darius and I became queen of Kallenore, I might journey around the kingdom from time to time watching him practice magic if it made him happy, but I was not traveling in a cart and I was not sleeping four to a room, listening to people breathe and snore and chatter in their sleep.

  Well, of course I would hear Darius breathe. And snore.

  “Hungry?” Dannette asked.

  “Not really,” I said, “but let’s eat and move on.” We stepped into the crowded taproom, trying to avoid the three women and one boy threading their way through the packed tables as they delivered trays of eggs and sausage. My stomach clenched as it had this morning, but this time I thought the response might signal hunger, not nausea. I looked around for Darius and Harwin, and finally spotted them sitting at the end of a long common table. I was a little surprised to see Harwin speaking intensely to a woman sitting next to him, for he was not the type to strike up conversations with people he did not know.

  I was astonished when I realized the woman was Gisele.

  I marched through the taproom without bothering to get out of the way of the scurrying servers. “What are you doing here?” I cried, standing behind Darius and pointing at Gisele.

  She touched a coarse napkin to her mouth and gave me a limpid look. “Having breakfast,” she said.

  Dannette slipped into one of the two empty seats next to Darius. “You’re the queen, aren’t you? I saw you sitting by the king in the throne room.”

  “I’m married to the king, yes,” Gisele replied with some bitterness.

  “What are you doing here? Why are you following me?” I demanded.

  Darius smiled at me over his shoulder. “Sit down and eat something,” he said. “The oatmeal is very good if your stomach is queasy.”

  “Why should her stomach be queasy?” Gisele wanted to know.

  “Too much beer last night,” Dannette said, helping herself to one of the platters handed to her by a woman sitting toward the middle of the table. “Olivia, do you want any of this? It looks like apple fritters.”

  “Yes—I suppose,” I said, flopping into the seat next to her and still staring resentfully at Gisele. “You haven’t answered me.”

  Harwin spoke up. “She says your father decided that Dannette would not be a sufficient chaperone. He did not know that I had come after you as well, or perhaps he would not have been so worried.”

  Gisele gave him a quick, droll look. “Exactly so.”

  I tried a bite of the fritters. They were excellent. When the woman to my right handed me a steaming bowl of oatmeal, I ladled out a lavish portion and passed the bowl to Dannette. “My father never worries about me,” I said.

  Gisele shrugged. I noticed that her clothes were very neat but not at all fancy, and her hairstyle was almost as plain as Dannette’s. She looked as tired as I felt, but her eyes were not as puffy. “Perhaps now that you are about to be married, he is realizing how much he will miss you.”

  She was obviously lying. I narrowed my eyes and took a big mouthful of oatmeal. It had been seasoned with honey and raisins and tasted delicious. “So you plan to travel with us for the next week or two?” I asked slowly.

  She nodded. “I know you do not like the notion, but—”

  “Oh, we’re happy to have you with us,” Darius said. He sounded sincere; after two days in his company, I was pretty certain he was. “But I’m not sure how much more room there is in the wagon.”

  “And she brought a maid with her,” Harwin said. He glanced at me as if to say, And if you truly cared about your reputation, you would have brought a maid as well.

  “Well, it’ll be a tight fit, but if one sits up front and three ride in back—”

  “I have my own coach. And a coachman,” Gisele interposed. “All I require is that you allow me to join your caravan.”

  I stopped with another spoonful of oatmeal on the way to my mouth. “The coach,” I breathed. “It’s yours. Oh, Gisele, I want to ride with you!”

  * * *

  “Tell me again how sitting inside the coach with me is helping you become better acquainted with your bridegroom,” Gisele said twenty minutes later.

  We were on our way again, a much augmented party from the one I’d started out with a couple of days ago. The coach, with its team of high-spirited horses, led the wagon by an appreciable distance. Harwin had cantered ahead of us but I was sure he would circle back soon to check on our progress. Gisele’s maid was sitting outside with the coachman, probably flirting madly. Dannette rode with her brother. Everyone was happy.

  “You tell me the real reason you came after me in this ridiculous fashion,” I said. “I know it wasn’t because my father asked you to.”

  There was a flare of malice in her eyes. “Oh, but he did,” she said. “I could tell how pleased he was when he came up with the idea. Ever since Neville arrived, he’s been trying to get me out of the way.”

  I was bewildered. “What does Neville have to do with it?”

  “Nothing. His daughter Mellicia? Everything. Your father is infatuated with that simpering, stupid, soulless girl. He wants to court her while I am not on hand to watch.”

  “But—what—I mean, you’re his wife. I suppose he could take her as his mistress, but—”

  “I am a wife who has failed to produce the son he is determined to have,” Gisele said softly. “I will not be his wife much longer, I guarantee it.”

  I simply stared at her.

  She met my gaze briefly, then looked out the window. The prospect was not particularly inviting. The treelined hills of the past two days had flattened into grasslands that supported grazing livestock, though the occasional stand of elm and oak shuddered in a brisk wind. The sky was scudding over with clouds, and the air had that damp, overburdened feel that promised a storm.

  “So!” she said brightly. “If he’s going to marry again, he needs to review the likely candidates. Naturally, she must be young enough to be fertile, and beautiful enough to catch his fancy. And by now he’s realized that he doesn’t like clever women—or, at least, he doesn’t like me, and I’m clever—so vapidity has become an important attribute—”

  It took me this long to find my voice. “Is he going to divorce you?”

  She turned to look at me again. I had never seen her face so sad. Then again, I had never paid much attention to the emotions on Gisele’s face. “I hope he is going to divorce me,” she said.

  “Why, if he wants to marry again, what else could he…” My voice trailed off. “Surely you’re not suggesting… I mean, I know he is not an admirable man, but…”

  She looked out the window once more. “I have been wondering if I should take a ship to Newmirot,” she said. “Dannette was describing it over breakfast. Surely your father would be so glad to be rid of me that he would just allow me to disappear, don’t you think? And declare me dead, rather than killing me outright.”

  “Gisele! You can’t be serious!”

  “I’m quite serious. I should like to see Newmirot.” I reached across the open space between us and shook her by the shoulder. “You don’t truly believe my father would have you murdered,” I said. “Merely so he could mar
ry again.”

  She met my eyes for one long, sober stare. “I don’t know,” she said at last. “Perhaps he wouldn’t.”

  But perhaps he would.

  I released her, took a deep breath, and leaned back against the cushions. I was on the seat facing backward, which I normally despised, but today I was so happy to be traveling in relative luxury that I didn’t mind at all. “Can you go to your father?” I asked. “Would he take you in if you told him you were afraid for your life?”

  She made an inelegant sound. “No.”

  “Do you have other relatives who would give you sanctuary?”

  “A brother who is so much like my father that he could not be trusted. No one else.”

  “Do you have money? How long can you afford to travel like this?” I gestured at the interior of the coach, with its silk-covered walls and leather bound seats.

  “Your father is footing the bill for this particular trip,” she said. “The coach is his and I have his vouchers for any inn I patronize while I am with you. I believe he expects Neville and Mellicia to stay with him two weeks. After that—” She shrugged. “I have some money. I have all my jewels. I might be able to find work in Newmirot. They have quite a textile industry there, and I’m a good seamstress. I’ll get by.”

  “I might be able to send you money,” I said. “My allowance is generous enough.”

  “That’s kind of you,” she replied. “But don’t forget what I said before.”

  I had to think a moment. She had warned me to be safely married before my father managed to get himself a son. At the time, I had scoffed at her, and I still had no proof that anything she said was true, and yet…

  And yet I believed her. My father was the kind of man who would get rid of an inconvenience in the most efficient way possible. I remembered the piebald stallion that had been my father’s favorite ride until the horse took a tumble that nearly snapped his right leg. The groom had thought the horse might be succored and saved, and certainly would be able to hobble around well enough to serve at stud, but my father had ordered the stallion destroyed. “If I can’t ride him, I don’t want him,” he’d said. “He’s of no use to me now.” A wife who could not bear him a son was of no use to him.

  Was a daughter of any use to him?

  Particularly if he had a son?

  “So you’re not going back to the palace,” I said.

  “That’s my plan.”

  I leaned forward, rested my elbow on my knee, and cupped my chin in my hand. After three years of trying to pretend Gisele did not exist, I found myself suddenly wanting to be her champion. I did not stop to puzzle over why it did not seem strange. “I wonder,” I said. “Perhaps you can meet with an accident on the road. Harwin and I can bring back the sad news that you died while we were traveling.”

  Gisele looked amused—and a little intrigued. “But wouldn’t you be expected to return with my corpse in tow?”

  “Not if you—fell off a cliff and drowned, and the water carried you away,” I said, improvising quickly. “Not if you were mauled by wolves and eaten.”

  “Oh, yes, do have me devoured by wild creatures.”

  “We could bring back your bloody clothes as proof,” I said. “And maybe your wedding ring—with the finger still in it. Someone else’s finger, of course, but no one else will know that.”

  “Where will you find such a thing?” She was trying not to laugh.

  I waved a hand. “I don’t know. Maybe we’ll come across a fresh grave while we’re traveling. Maybe Darius will manufacture one for us. He can change things from one shape to another, you know.”

  “Yes, so I had heard. Perhaps he will not like to use his magic in such a fashion, however.”

  “Oh, if he thinks you’re being abused, he’ll be happy to oblige. He’s very softhearted.”

  She studied me a moment. “And perhaps Harwin will not like to lie to your father.”

  “He will if I ask him to,” I said confidently.

  “Well! You are quite fortunate in the men who attend you,” she said. “How will you choose between them?”

  Now I scowled at her, my sudden amity evaporating. “I have already chosen.”

  “So you have,” she said and settled back against the cushions. She closed her eyes, as if she was too weary to keep them open any longer, and in a few moments, she was either asleep or pretending to be.

  I looked out the window and watched the autumn trees shake off their red and yellow leaves as if they were dogs shaking off water. I saw the clouds overhead grow angrier and closer to the ground, reminding me of furious taskmasters bending down to berate a clumsy servant. I wondered if anything Gisele had told me was a lie.

  I wondered how I could bear it if everything was true.

  5

  The Dreadful Secret

  We arrived in a prosperous little town just around sunset and followed Harwin to the inn he had recommended, having patronized it with his father. By this time, it had been raining steadily for two hours, and both Harwin and Darius were thoroughly soaked. So was the coachman, I imagined, but Gisele’s maid had taken refuge inside the coach the minute the first drops started falling, and I had invited Dannette to join us as well. The four of us passed a rather pleasant afternoon playing cards with a dog-eared deck the maid had in her bag. She was a freckle-faced and friendly girl who didn’t seem to understand her place, but I was too lazy to try to stare her down and Dannette wasn’t the type to enforce class distinctions. I spent a few moments wondering how much we would have to bribe her to lie about Gisele’s death before I realized that such a step wouldn’t be necessary. This was a servant Gisele had brought with her when she married; this was a servant loyal to the queen. No doubt she would accompany Gisele as she set off for Newmirot or Amlertay. I felt a little better knowing Gisele would not be completely alone.

  “I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you joined us when you did!” Dannette said to Gisele as we prepared to disembark in the courtyard of a very fancy inn, four stories high and faced with white marble. I started to glow with happiness just thinking about the luxuries awaiting us inside. “How lovely to sit in your coach on such an ugly day.”

  “I am glad that someone appreciates me,” Gisele returned with a smile.

  “Even I appreciate you today,” I said, climbing out after the two of them. The maid clambered down behind me.

  “Then I must call the journey a success,” Gisele said.

  I grinned at her and hurried in. Darius was still outside with the wagon, but Harwin had arrived ahead of us, and I could see he had already dealt with the proprietor. He stood near the front desk, a cluster of keys in his hand, and let water drip from his overcoat to the floor. Oh, surely in such a large hotel we would not all have to cram together in one room!

  “The inn is quite full but I have bespoken three rooms,” he said, pushing his wet hair from his eyes. “There are bunks in the servants’ quarters for the coachman and the maid.”

  Dannette was glancing at the heavy tapestries on the wall, the brightly woven rug on the floor. “The place looks a little dear for Darius and me,” she said quietly.

  “I have paid for one room, and the queen’s vouchers will cover the other two,” Harwin replied, smiling down at her. “You will have a room to yourself for a change.”

  I mentally populated the remaining two rooms and instantly frowned. “Wait—you and Darius will share quarters, of course, but I should not have to sleep with Gisele,” I said.

  “And here I thought you had started to hate me a little less,” Gisele remarked.

  “It’s just that—I can’t sleep with other people in the room. I would so much like privacy, just for a night.”

  Harwin’s frown was as heavy as mine. “Yet one of them must act as chaperone so that no one takes advantage of you in the night. If you do not want your stepmother, then Dannette must stay with you.”

  “Oh, let her have the room to herself,” Dannette said. “You don’t need to
worry about Darius accosting her in the middle of the night, but even if he did have such plans, you’ll be there to thwart him.”

  “Yes, Harwin, please, let me have the room.”

  Dannette laughed and patted me on the shoulder. “You don’t have to plead with him. We’ll just apportion the chambers as we like. He can hardly force us to rearrange to his taste unless he wants to bodily carry us from bed to bed.”

  Gisele and I both laughed at that, though Harwin looked embarrassed. “I am merely trying to make sure the princess is treated with the utmost care,” he said.

  Now Dannette patted him on the arm in the same friendly fashion. “And maybe you’ll find that Olivia likes you better if you don’t always make such a fuss,” she said.

  Darius swept through the front door, totally drenched and unrelentingly cheerful. His boots left wet footprints all the way down the hall. “Isn’t this fit for royalty!” he exclaimed. “I’ve never stayed at a place so elegant! I like traveling with the queen.”

  “Harwin chose it,” Gisele said with a laugh. “Not I.” Darius rubbed his hands together to warm them. “Then I like traveling with Harwin! Who’s hungry? I imagine the dinner here must be outstanding.”

  * * *

  The meal was excellent—and Harwin paid for everyone’s dinner, not even bothering to use Gisele’s vouchers. I know, because I saw him do it. My room was splendid, heavenly, regal, private, and I even took a real bath in a hammered tin tub. I tumbled into bed and lay in the middle of the mattress, stretching my arms and legs as wide as they would go. I had peeked inside the other two rooms, so I knew that Gisele and Dannette had to share a bed, but Darius and Harwin each had his own. I imagined this would be the best night of sleep any of us had managed so far.

  The morning brought sunshine and clear skies and all of us smiling at one another around the breakfast table. “I want to ride with Darius today,” I said, for Gisele had been right yesterday. Sitting in the coach with her was not doing much to acquaint me with my betrothed. “Dannette, you can ride with Gisele. It’s much more comfortable than the back of the wagon.”