Stigmata

by L M Adams

  “She’s starting the next load.”

  “We had that much laundry?”

  “It’s Friday.”

  “What does that mean?” I ask honestly confused.

  “It’s blacks day.”

  I raise an eyebrow.

  “Yes Jaevia, collectively we wear that much black clothing that we set aside an entire day just to tend to it. I think we need to get a few industrial machines. We’ve put twenty years on a machine we’ve only had for two. The extra wear and tear with the extra full-time guards warrants it.”

  I sit in the chair at the vanity and begin oiling my flesh lightly.

  “Okay, whatever you think is best.”

  “I’d also like to get the emergency generator permitted… and while I’m at it, your wedding gift pool for Lucien.”

  “Okay.”

  I love the feel of my flesh, soft and smooth. I was always a lotion girl, but more often than not I use Lucien’s shea oil and it’s just done wonders for my skin.

  “We also need to have a united front at the wedding planner’s today. Lucien wants to pick southern cuisine.”

  I chuckle, “What’s wrong with that?”

  “I don’t want to serve fried chicken at my wedding!”

  I laugh again, “You know he’s only wanting it because of the double baked – baked potatoes…”

  “… and the macaroni and cheese… and the shrimp and grits.”

  “So take elements he enjoys and add it into your frou-frou menu.”

  “Frou-frou?”

  “Yes, boujie food.”

  “Caviar and mac and cheese don’t even go together,” he grumbles low.

  “Jack, you have to compromise.”

  He brings over a pair of black lace panties and kneels so that I can step into him. Serving me comes as second nature to him. I also notice his hands running up my flesh, wanting to touch me as much as possible without betraying his need.

  Jack is a very affectionate man, because he craves the connection of a clutch, the closeness of others in his thoughts and bound in blood. That desire for connection translates into a craving for physical affection.

  He does his best to hide the need as much as he can because he sees it as a weakness… to need something, someone so fucking desperately. I know he’s still feeling insecure about last night, added to the normal stresses of being him.

  As he stands, I pull him close before he can turn away, reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck. I’m mostly naked but he doesn’t angle for sex, instead he wraps his arms around my waist and sighs with contentment.

  “Let’s stay in tonight and watch movies and eat ice cream.” I whisper and he smiles a bit sadly.

  “You can tell I’m in need?”

  I nod slowly. I’m not sure if it’s from his behavior, or the impressions of emotion I can pick up – but I know he’s aching inside, and no amount of slap and tickle is going to help. He needs a reinforcement of affection.

  This wedding crap is unhinging him more than I thought possible and, although I’m looking forward to the act of finally and truly binding myself to my men completely – I can’t wait for it be over and for things to get back to normal – at least what we consider normal.

  “Do not be ashamed about it. We all need sometimes.” I whisper and play with his dark hair a bit. “Just the three of us? Hmm? No bloodwhores, no slaves, no worlds to conquer, me, you, Lucien and The Dark Kumite.” I let my voice drop over the last bit, emphasizing the movie.

  He actually laughs for me and the worry in his thoughts seem to ease. Sometimes the biggest and most complex problems have the simplest solutions and when the world seems large and confusing, getting back to basics just may be the right remedy.

  “You understand me so much, Jaevia.” He leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine, the same way I usually see Lucien and he interacts.

  “I just love you, frou-frou food and all.”

  He laughs again and kisses me quickly.

  “It’s his wedding too, hmm?”

  He nods, “Okay, I’ll bend.”

  I smile.

  He pulls away, “But that means we’re getting vanilla cake with white frosting.”

  I gasp, “I want chocolate.”

  “It’s my wedding too.” He turns my words back on me and I cut my eyes at him.

  Game on bloodsucker.

  We barter back and forth over the wedding menu a bit longer but decide to hold our final decisions until after the tasting today. Our schedule is packed, we’re heading to D.C. for final fittings, then to I Vow – the wedding planner’s office – so we can do a full taste testing and then to work out our rings.

  The last part gives me the most anxiety. I wasn’t able to lace their wedding rings with intent and engrave them with the power of my heart and feelings for them when first we visited the jeweler. I was too at war with myself.

  Here’s hoping Azazael forcing my personalities back together will let me at least do this one thing right for my men.

  Jack already has my outfit laid out. A pair of deep purple slacks, a pretty black shirt, that’s a bit low-cut, and a pair of platform pumps. At least he didn’t stick me in a dress, so I decide to be accommodating and not bitch about the heels.

  The buzzer for the door sounds out.

  “That’s got to be my parents. I’ll go, you corral Lucien into getting ready.”

  “Conquer and divide?”

  “I thought it was divide and conquer…”

  “I was talking about your thighs.” And his smile is all vampiric, all hunter, and all mine.

  16

  Jack

  There is no need to go and browbeat my future husband into getting a shower. I hear the sound of him moving about in the bathroom soon after Jaevia leaves to entertain her parents.

  I’m actually looking forward to having them here. Perhaps Jaevia will tone down the queen of the night blood orgies for a while, at least if her father is here.

  On one hand, it’s my fault her appetites have expanded so much. She was right… I am the one that introduced her to these vampiric delights. I just always believed it would be something we shared in together, and only together.

  The ugly tendrils of my jealousy fill my thoughts again. Am I losing her? Or is she just expanding her harem? She has every right; she is a goddess of sex. Lucien and I have been trying to prepare ourselves for her expanding desires as a succubus queen. But I’m finding my thoughts more aligned with Lucien’s – murder any other that dares to touch what is ours.

  When had I become the jealous bastard?

  I busy myself with putting away the last of the laundry and select Lucien’s clothes for the day to bring them to him.

  He steps from the shower just as I walk into the bathroom. The sight of him covered in water, strong, tall… dark – makes my mouth salivate and brings me up short.

  “See something you like then, Bloodsucker?” He says, voice full of cockiness, forcing me to drag my eyes up from his massive… thighs.

  I clear my throat, “No… I mean yes…” I stutter, not sure how he’d react if he knew how turned on I am just from looking at him; and at the same time not wanting to insult him by making him think I’m not turned on just by looking at him.

  To distance myself from the embarrassment, I busy myself with placing his clothing for the day on the chair beside the jacuzzi tub.

  “I figured we’d keep it simple. Dark slacks and a black polo for you.” I mutter quickly.

  Make it about business, make it about wanting to keep him dressed nicely for appearance’s sake. “Everyone should be ready to go in about fifteen minutes; we’re going to be late if we don’t leave by then.”

  His sigh is loud, and I know I have disappointed him… again.

  “Look at me.” The closeness of his voice lets me know he’s closed the distance between us, the absolute last thing I want him to do right now.

  I inhale deeply trying to calm myself, only managing to inha
le his deep spice scent that makes my sack tighten with anticipation.

  As I turn to face him, I’m careful to not actually look at him, picking some point on the far wall to concentrate on instead.

  “That is not looking at me.”

  “Lucien…”

  “Do not make this become an order, Capaneus.”

  I look at him, terrified, because when Lucien starts giving me orders I roll over on my back like a good little doggy and that’s not what I want to feel right now.

  His golden-red eyes are filled with cockiness, he knows damn well how the sight of his body has affected me and he’s… happy about it.

  “You have claims to my body,” he says so matter-of-factly.

  Confusion fills me. “What does that even mean?”

  “If you see me and want to touch me… do so at your heart’s desire. You have a claim on my flesh. Without… commands.”

  He means without the kink. But all I want to do is retreat to the safety of hate-fucking, the touch between us that I’m comfortable with. Lucien keeps pushing for me to find a way to let him touch me in love, but I just can’t, I’m just not ready.

  I wish on all the stars in the sky to be fixed, to be a better man… to be the kind of man that he wants. I find every way to hide from the truth, that I’m not the kind of man he wants or could really love. But to Lucien, all of my issues... don’t matter, he just sees what he wants and not the truth, and he thinks he can bend the universe to his will.

  There is no fixing me – the scars run too deeply and too bloody and no amount of wishing will undo the wounds my stepfather inflicted or the burden I carry.

  Yet standing here – how could I even consider the prospect of giving Lucien up?

  His hair is wet… dripping rivulets of water that glide down his smooth dark skin. I wish to taste each drop and show him how much I want him, and yet I wish to escape these desires – the two emotions pull my heart in different directions. Still, he stands here demanding an answer to the question he hasn’t found the courage to ask – do I love him if he does not hurt me.

  I pray he never asks, because I do not know the answer… is my love for him wrapped up in my seedy desire to be a bottom? Does my love for him stink of my sickness? Can I no longer distinguish the desire for my asshole to be plundered for his pleasure, ripped and torn and taken, used and abused by a man because my father taught me it was the height of depravity and I crave depravity like a bee craves honey – and the love I know, at least I think, I feel for him?

  Lucien surprised me by wanting to further our relationship… like this. All of what we are now wasn’t something I’d factored in. I never thought he’d love me… let alone want to love me outside of a kink relationship.

  But then perhaps I’ve always underestimated the Beast. Jaevia once told me, Lucien is an all-or-nothing kind of guy – I guess I didn’t really think that would apply to… me.

  He doesn’t initiate touch, waiting for me to decide how I want this to play out. Lucien tends to be tactful when he wants.

  I stare into his eyes, waiting for the look of uncertainty to come as I raise my hand and glide my fingertips up his thigh… needing to see him retreat so that I don’t have to. But there is nothing but budding desire in his stare.

  “My body is yours, Capaneus. Yours and Jaevia’s.” He whispers low… no fear, no uncertainty.

  There’s no anger burning between us, no pretense of punishment to aide in our touch, there is nothing but two men and he’s more comfortable with the intimacy than I am.

  “I just fucked our wife on the roof, is it wrong I want some of your loving too?”

  Oh god no.

  I shake my head, almost mesmerized, feeling like I’ve been put under hypnosis.

  “It has been much time since you have touched me,” he murmurs. “Do I not please you if I am not brokenhearted and pleading for mercy?”

  My heart drops and I let my hand fall away. “Of course you please me. I’m just never sure what kind of touch you’re okay with.”

  He nods curtly, “This is true, I am unsure of the things I would like. But we cannot find this out if we do not try.”

  I clear my throat, wishing the floor would open up a swallow me whole. “I’ll start… trying things.”

  He huffs not believing me at all – as well he shouldn’t.

  “It is true, you do not wish me if you do not hurt me first. I cannot touch you without pain first and you cannot touch me without pain first. All of this is about pain?”

  Good god! “I swear to you that’s not it!”

  “Then why do you not show me? Why is your love so hard to find without the pain? Why must I be left in wanting? What am I doing wrong? I only ask for a bit of touch.”

  He wouldn’t understand, he can’t understand… I don’t even understand.

  “Shh, Lucien.” I whisper and step closer to him. “Please, please don’t talk.” I kiss his chest lightly because, this isn’t a conversation I want to have… this isn’t a conversation I know how to have. “I find your body intoxicating.”

  Never to be one to leave my lover wanting, I get to my knees for him and take his cock into my mouth. I must have surprised him because he waivers on his feet and the sound he makes is something between a whimper and a gasp and I don’t think I’ve ever heard him make that sound before.

  I wrap a hand around the base of him and begin stroking slowly. He just has too much cock for a mouth… especially one with fangs.

  “Ra take me.” He breathes out, barely above a hint of a whisper, but I feel the roar of pleasure roll through him.

  Lucien likes his cock sucked.

  It’s almost… sweet, how slowly and tentatively he brings his hand up to grip the back of my head lightly. As if he wasn’t sure it would be okay.

  “Please slow,” he begs me. “Please, I wish it to last.”

  We don’t have time for slow, but I give it to him anyway, because at times I cannot please him… but sometimes I can.

  The thickness of him slips between my lips, I concentrate on not snagging his flesh with my fangs. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind; he likes the pain and the sweet bite as he calls it. But something tells me he really needs an experience with me, without the kink, or the pain, or reminders that I am a vampire. He wants a moment with the man.

  Having his cock in my mouth turns me on, I don’t think sucking off any other man would make me feel like this. I crave to undo my pants, stroke myself… enjoy this pleasure with him. I resist the urge because I want to focus on him. I want him to be happy with me.

  I bring up my other hand to clutch the gentle cup of his ass.

  “Close,” he breathes out in a husky voice. “So fucking close.” His hand tightens on the nape of my neck as he waivers again on his feet.

  Even with me going slow I feel the thickness of him pulsate and the heat of him increase. I drag my teeth on the tip of him lightly and he comes, roaring with pleasure, his cock empties into my mouth, strong hot spurts of come coat my throat, showing me just how much he enjoys me on my knees. I lap it all up, drink every bit down, all the while something in me craves for more. I want to suck him off until he collapses to the floor and his cock cannot rise again. I want him to know that no other man can give him this and that it can be all his… he just has to put up with all of my garbage as well.

  “Fuck,” he breathes out and pulls from my mouth. All but stumbling to the chair, he grabs the clothes before collapsing into the seat. “Ra take me.”

  “So oral sex without kink is a yes?” I ask standing, distancing myself from the aching arousal I feel to have him.

  “Aye, Bloodsucker, most definitely a yes.”

  17

  Jack

  I brush my teeth as Lucien sits on the chair a bit stunned, I do believe.

  “Would you…” He starts and stops.

  I rinse my mouth out and swish around some mouthwash, I may be comfortable sucking his dick, but I’ll never be okay walking around with com
e-breath. A man has appearances to keep up – me on my knees for a more dominant man isn’t one of them if I’m to ever build my own clutch, rule the vampires, and defeat Azazael. No small goal I’ve set for myself.

  “Would I what?” I ask, wiping my mouth as I check my hair, he didn’t muss it too badly and I didn’t spill a drop of his come on my shirt. All in all, I don’t think I look like I just tried to choke on the dick of a god. Practice does make perfect as they say.

  “Spend… time… kissing my body sometimes. I would like to try… foreplay.”

  I clear my throat. “Okay.”

  He grunts and nods, “Not the anilingus, just other kisses and licks and the such.”

  I cough to cover my laugh, “Of course, Lucien.”

  “I enjoyed our experience…” He says a bit stiffly, embarrassed I believe about asking for foreplay and showing that he’s still uncomfortable with some things.

  His embarrassment eases my own. Almost as if we’re in this awkward stage of ‘man-sex’ together.

  “Really? I couldn’t tell.” I smile, he growls; and all is right in the world.

  I leave Lucien in the bathroom to finish getting dressed before I do something… regrettable; like lick every inch of him as he strokes that massive cock for me just so I can see how much he can come.

  My mood is better… relaxed as I head to the kitchen. I could do with another cup of coffee and decide to make some for everyone to take with.

  I don’t even tense when I see the tarp flapping in the wind over the living room. If Jaevia wants to buy me a piano, cut a hole in the roof and deliver it by crane instead of just putting it on the first floor like any other sane person would – that’s okay. She’s irritating because she loves me and that makes it far less irritating.

  What I don’t expect is to see as I step into the kitchen is my lovely fiancé in the dining room with Demetri – the vampire I love to hate. The two of them all but cuddled up together at the table laughing.

  I bite down to keep from saying something… unpleasant. Control Jack, control.