Stigmata

by L M Adams

  I look over at Lucien, he’s actually smiling, his eyes twinkling with devilment. “Bullshit,” he proclaims; egging the inebriated magi on… like that was needed.

  Tabari huffs and turns, looking for something, “Anyone have a gun? I need someone to shoot me. That’s all any of you do, swing swords, and shoot guns.”

  I raise an eyebrow, “You are not about to really try it.”

  “Thee fuck I’m not, my dear soon to be brother,” he wags his finger at me.

  I lift my glass of bloodwine to hide my smile, oh this should be good.

  “Well, doesn’t anyone want to shoot me?!”

  The young Harper stands up suddenly, “I’ll do it.”

  Lucien, being the voice of reason, tells Harper to use a thirty-eight special… for safety. The young halfling goes off to the weapons locker to get the smaller pistol.

  I’m sure looking back at this we’ll all realize how dumb it was… but for now, we just clear a place in the middle of the makeshift living room.

  The floors are wood, and a large Persian rug has made its way into the center of the area. Our living room furniture is set strategically about, but to be honest, the room is too big and even with the furniture – the room still feels empty.

  Jaevia never had it fit out for actually receiving clients, we never had time; always rushing from one calamity to the next. Knightley Magical Mayhem – Paranormal Investigators, never really got off the ground.

  Plus side, the extra space makes it easier for us to have idiotic drunken experiments in the half empty room.

  Harper comes back with the gun and everyone steps back. Everyone but Tabari who walks to the front of the room, standing proudly before the bank of glass windows. He begins rolling up his shirt sleeves as if he’s about to partake in a round of fisticuffs, Dark Goddess help us.

  “Wait!” Frank shouts stepping forward and holding out a hand towards Harper, “Did you get lead bullets or silver?”

  “Lead.”

  Frank nods, “Good good, better to be safe.”

  And here I thought he’d come to his senses.

  I walk over to stand near Lucien, “Are we really letting them do this?” I whisper to him.

  He looks at me with surprise, “Aye?”

  Of course he doesn’t really see the problem. I sigh and look to Harper, “Well aim for the body; head shots are iffy with healing.”

  After all, who am I to ruin the party? I guzzle down more of my wine.

  A crack of thunder explodes above, and we all turn to look at Tabari, his blond hair lifts in the wind of his own power. Sea-green eyes glowing with otherworldly magic. Whatever else he may be, he’s powerful as all fuck.

  Outside of Jaevia and Lucien – he is the most powerful being I have ever known. And far more dangerous than either of them because he knows exactly how to wield that power.

  There is a snap of electricity as a shield of power goes up. It’s hard to see, only a twinkling of the air here and there if you look at a certain angle. The sound of the gun firing is startling, even with the small caliber of it.

  I watch as the shield ripples out with a kaleidoscope of color like a stone hitting a pond… the air fills with a flowing hue of all blues and greens. A high-pitched whining vibration permeates the room, I can even feel it rattle the marrow in my bones.

  “By god, he actually did it?” Our Captain whispers and moves towards the bullet which looks as if it’s almost suspended in mid-air.

  We all gather around the epicenter of energy. Although we stand close to the disruption in the shield of power, you can barely see the bullet, the metal vibrating so fast it seems to phase in and out of existence. Energy versus energy, who will win?

  I look to the magi and see that it costs him nothing to hold this here… not really, not anything of challenge to hold back the power of a bullet. There is even a bit of madness in his eyes, a certain euphoria I don’t think I’ve ever really seen from him. The alcohol is making it harder for him to hide his true self and this is it. A thing that loves power for being power and loves wielding it.

  Jaevia thinks he’s addicted to the EM field – in that moment I see what she fears, and I understand why the Horki dug their claws into him so deeply. I understand it very much in that moment. When you go to war it’s better to have the mad magi on your side.

  If the eventide had been anyone other than Jaevia, I know that Tabari’s story would be a very different tale. His love for his sister is the only thing that keeps him from turning into a cold, hard thing. A being only interested in power and living a life in a pursuit to gain more.

  The evil in my heart knows that he would have been a sight to behold if he’d let his darker nature take hold. Something to be feared yet something also terrifyingly beautiful.

  Tabari gives us all a cocky grin and then relaxes, the shield of power releases and the expression on his face changes as he looks down to his white shirt.

  I watch as the blood blossoms slowly and god help me, I lick my lips.

  He looks up stunned, we’re all stunned.

  “You shot me,” he says accusatorily to Harper.

  “You told me to shoot you!” The young halfling takes up for himself.

  Frank pushes forward to go and guide Tabari into sitting down on the sofa… blood is so hard to get out of fabric, “You can stop a bullet but can’t remember to move out of the way when you let it go?”

  Lucien laughs and turns to grab the bottle of vodka from the sideboard.

  Frank turns to Harper, “Go and get the medical kit from my room, we’re going to have to pull the bullet if it didn’t exit.”

  I go to help Frank get Tabari’s shirt off. I kneel on the floor and try to check him out. He’s been shot on his lower right side, no exit wound so the bullet is still in there… this is the one time when it not being silver is a bad thing… wounds from weapons made of silver take longer to heal, but with the bullet being lead, the entrance wound is already sealing closed… with the bullet still inside of him.

  “Stop healing,” I say as Lucien brings over the bottle of vodka handing it to the now sobering magi.

  “I would if I am!” He snaps at me.

  “… you mean you would if you could?” I raise an eyebrow.

  “That’s what I said.”

  I huff, “No… it’s not.” I sigh, “Point being you need to stop healing, or we’ll have to cut you open to get the bullet out.”

  “I can’t not heal,” he rages at me and lifts the bottle of booze to his lips. Silver or not, getting shot hurts.

  “What do you mean, you can’t?” I ask and snatch the bottle of liquor from his hand and douse the wound with a good portion of it to slow down the healing process.

  The magi lets out a high-pitched squeal and tries to lift off the sofa, Frank and Lucien hold him down.

  “Oh you’re a fucking sadist!” He yells at me, eyes sparkling with magic.

  I huff, “It’s going to hurt worse if we have to cut you open.”

  “I can’t not heal; if I have power, I heal damage.”

  I glance at Frank and then Lucien, “You mean… you’ve never learned how to, you know… live with the pain? Reject the healing?”

  “I’m not a fucking masochist, who the fuck would want to be in pain?”

  I shrug.

  “Oh you’re really perfect for her,” he sighs and leans back on the sofa.

  I smile, “I guess I am.”

  “Well my dear vampire, I am not into the kinky thing – and even if I was a bullet wound wouldn’t be sexy.”

  “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

  He huffs and lifts his head again to look down at me, “You mean, you could be turned on right now? Shot?”

  I glance at Lucien; he looks entirely too curious himself. I shrug, “With Jae? Yeah.”

  Tabari sighs and relaxes again, “I’m not sure if that’s romantic or psychotic.”

  Lucien huffs, “Psychotic, but it is Jae – loving her…
no sane man could do it.”

  Tabari looks at Lucien, “You mean you could be turned on with her while in pain too?”

  Lucien shrugs a shoulder, “Whatever way Jaevia Knightley wants me, she can have me.”

  “It’s a bit beautiful; in a way,” our dour captain says.

  Tabari looks at him, “You mean you’re into it too?”

  “I like women who have a softness and a submissive nature… I’m okay without the kink, but Dani has been showing me how different stimulations can be… enjoyable, for both parties. Not to say I’m into… gun play and bullet wounds.”

  Tabari rolls his eyes, “Slap and tickle, fine – I enjoy that just as much as the next,” he looks at me again, “but you three are into some hardcore shit. I knew she was rough but how rough are we talking? Is this something we need to watch out for?”

  “She’s never shot me if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “But…”

  I sigh, “But…” I glance to Lucien, “she’ll turn to snuff if we’re not careful.”

  Tabari shifts uncomfortably, “You mean killing them while…”

  I nod, “I partake occasionally, the last time – I let her join in… she… enjoyed it very much. I can manage her needs, there is nothing to fear.”

  Lucien crosses his arms over his chest, “You did not tell me this, Capaneus.”

  I sigh and stand up leaving Tabari’s wound to tend to Lucien’ ego, “It was in New York. You were lost in time and we had to go through the sands to find you. We needed the power boost and the power a vampire can get with drinking a soul is… it’s unmatched. I fucked, we drank him down… blood, lifeforce… Jaevia made him orgasm with his last breath and drank that down too.”

  “Fuck,” our captain whispers.

  I glance at him, “Don’t worry, she hasn’t asked to have it again. I just know one day… she might.”

  “And if that day comes?” Tabari asks.

  “There’s always someone in the world that deserves to die.”

  And no one can really argue the fact.

  Harper comes back with the medical kit and we get to the business of pulling the bullet from Tabari. He carries on far more than is necessary while Frank and I work on him, and promptly begins drinking himself back into a stupor by the time we’re done.

  The party starts up again, no one any worse for the wear… except maybe the sofa. Although, Tabari is now singing to one of the young male crows, bloody shirt hanging open, bottle of liquor in his hand – making a complete fool of himself, and not seeming to care.

  I go to the small half bath at the back of the waiting area… I mean living room, to wash the blood from my hands before I do something monstrous and lick my fingers clean… Tabari’s blood smells good… I’m always careful to not remind others of the monster inside of me.

  Often, people like to fool themselves. I don’t think they really see Jae as what she is, someone who is loving and caring and sensitive – but will also rip a man’s heart out and tongue fuck the gaping hole while she fingers herself.

  Perhaps I’ll always be the one who understands her darkness like no other… well I guess me and Demetri.

  The bathroom only has a commode and sink with a mirror. It’s nice but small and was to only be used for the clients we’ll never have. I watch the pink water drain down the sink and try to ponder how many times I’ve seen that same color, blood mixed with water. A constant futile attempt to wash myself clean again and again. At least this time I wasn’t the one that caused the bleeding.

  I look up as the bathroom door opens behind me. Lucien steps into the small room and closes the door behind him.

  “I’m almost…”

  “Shut up.”

  My face falls as I turn to face him… leaving the water running.

  “You did not tell me you fucked another man, Capaneus.”

  I swallow slowly, “I…”

  He steps forward, pressing his body against mine, trying to intimidate me – succeeding at intimidating me.

  “I said shut up,” he hisses low and reaches for my pants.

  My heart begins pounding in my chest. He brings up his hand and snaps his fingers, my gut bottoms out and I fall forward into his shoulder, needing to fall to the floor on my knees.

  “Was it the only time since you have been mine?” He hisses as he pushes my pants and underwear down to settle right below the cup of my ass, just enough to give him access to the parts he likes to hurt. Oh god he likes to hurt my man-bits.

  I’m too terrified to speak so I only nod.

  He takes my cock in hand and begins stroking. I’m already hard, oh god I’m already needy and ready – he hasn’t touched me in a few days and god I’ve been missing it now that he’s being dominant. The anger pouring off of him, the promise of pain and defilement in the undertones of his growl – fuck… it just does it for me.

  “You needed it so you could come save me?”

  I nod again, begging him with my heart to forgive me but still take out every bit of vengeance on my flesh. I want to be abused by a man that loves me, I want it so badly it aches in my gut.

  “You didn’t really want him?”

  There is no true yes or no response to this… it’s complicated. Yes, I still desire those kinds of things… things I can’t do with him. But I didn’t want that filth of a man as a lover, as my husband – I just wanted him in pain and in blood and in death.

  “You did want him?” Lucien sounds shocked.

  “Only to feed, sometimes I need to feed that way,” I whimper, needing to explain. “Please… I need you to understand.”

  “You had to fuck him?” Lucien lets go of my cock and I lean back on the sink and look at him… he actually seems calmer.

  “No, but I wanted Jaevia to enjoy it as well, I wanted her to feed as well.”

  “This complicates matters – it would not be fair to punish you when you were trying to save me and making sure Jaevia had the power she needed,” he looks sad.

  “You never need a reason to hurt me, Lucien, you know that.”

  “Aye, I know… I just do not think I like the thought of you with another man… for any reason, in any way… and I do not think punishing you will fix my hurt feelings.”

  God, he knows how to gut me, “Lucien,” I fix my pants agreeing with him that this isn’t something we can solve with kink. “Lucien, I’ve got a lot of shit with me, you know that. But I’ll never go out of my way to hurt you, or disrespect you…”

  “But you will want to fuck men?”

  I sigh, “I allow myself one snuff a year – I’m not proud of it, but…”

  “It is who you are?”

  “Sometimes,” I whisper.

  “It is always with men?”

  I nod, “I don’t like it with women.”

  “Why?”

  I run a hand through my hair, “Please can we not talk about this tonight?”

  “On the eve of our wedding, I still do not know all that I should when committing myself to you.”

  “You know enough, you know that I love you. If you’re telling me I have to give up my one snuff a year… then I shall and that will be the end of it.”

  “I wish to know why you like such things.”

  “Because… I just do.”

  He frowns, “You are not being honest with me.”

  “I’m being honest, I’m not being forthcoming… there’s a difference.”

  He huffs, “You and your forked tongue.”

  “I don’t want to argue with you…”

  “Then tell me why you like to rape men and kill them!”

  “Because I like to imagine that it’s my father!” I hiss at him like the snake he accuses me of being.

  Sadness fills his features, making me feel like a complete shit, “Capaneus…”

  “I let myself have that one thing a year – one thing. But I’ll give it up… for you.”

  He sighs, “I do not wish that. I wish for you to want to gi
ve up those things.”

  “And if I can’t?”

  “Then you can’t. But will you try first? Try to find a way to move past it, away from it?”

  I sigh, “I can… for you.”

  “You promise this, Capaneus? That you will work with me, not give up, that you will truly try to find a way to heal? To stop living like this?”

  “I promise to try, truly, I promise.”

  He nods, “Then I shall work on… being okay letting you be with another man once a year… as long as you kill him after you’re done.”

  I huff, actually smiling, because for some reason I feel his journey may be harder than my own – even if I promise to murder the poor unsuspecting bastard after I’m done fucking him senseless.

  36

  Jack – Prove your allegiance

  We move back to the living room with the others, they’re so drunk I’m not sure they even noticed how long we were gone or heard our conversation.

  It seems this is a night of challenges… we’ve moved on from guns and now are on knives.

  Frank is setting up a game… something called Tulerdaum. I’ve seen it played before; it is a contest on Ra’suá, a test of endurance. A person cuts their arm, turns in a circle three times, and then throws the knife at a bullseye… the winner is declared by a mix of points for hitting the bullseye and not passing out.

  I’ve never played it myself, but Frank has and he’s actually getting pretty good at it. Harper is already stumbling about in a circle; he’s not going to last very long.

  Lucien of course has to have a go and Tabari being an idiot decides to challenge him – the magi has already lost a lot of blood, drank a lot of liquor… I end up helping Frank carry Tabari’s unconscious body to the sofa to sleep the rest of it off.

  We drink until we can’t drink anymore and then the night begins to wear down. Frank stands up stretching, “Come, we all need a bit of sleep before the morning.”

  Harper joins him and stands, I look to Lucien in question he nods, eyes glossy with the effects of bloodwine… I actually got him to try a bit, he still prefers nightshade wine but declares bloodwine… okay – ten thousand credits a bottle for this vintage and he calls it… okay. I internally sigh, how on earth did I fall in love with this kind of man?