Stigmata

by L M Adams

  We build a fire in the middle of the desert; we will reach the stones late tomorrow morning, but our horses must rest… this is our last night in the ancient lands of Alkebulan.

  Jack secludes himself as Lucien and Saabir tend the horses. Nyrobi hands out the food, a bit of bread, some salted meat.

  Food is scarce, the herds of the lands have been decimated beyond belief, the crops lay dead, poisoned by the blood of the curse.

  Even if we won, our victory still tastes of defeat.

  I stare into the firelight, “Did you know this would happen?” I ask Henenu as he spreads out a woven blanket on the sand.

  He shakes his head no, as he sits on his blanket, “I knew he would be king; I saw the shroud of the lion appear over him when he was born, he would be a Raja – this was known.”

  “He still could be,” I murmur looking at Lucien as he brushes the dark coats of the horses.

  “You cannot stay here…”

  “I mean, in my time, if you make a path for him.” I look at the old tutor.

  Henenu and a handful of the others will become the Madu, their sacred mission to gather the books and texts and legends and guard them through the eons so that Lucien will have what he needs to become a true Raja.

  I give him this mission even knowing that Azazael, or rather Darius the Pretender, will hunt them to the edges of destruction. Darius will carry out the curse of Sepa for eons to come and I know we haven’t seen the last of him.

  But to give Lucien a chance, I must give the people a chance, I must do one more thing.

  I stand up and walk over to Nyrobi, the woman of Ishtar who serves the Atums. She looks at me oddly for a moment when I grab her hand. “Come with me.”

  “Yes, my Kandaka.”

  I take her into the darkness of the Sahara and up a golden sand dune, until we reach the peak.

  She is gorgeous, and much like the first time I laid eyes on her, I see her, and I know her, and I wish her. I rub my thumb on her jaw as I lean into her warmth and her majic, the echoes of what is left of it still beating within her.

  I open myself to the power of the succubae, the power I was born with and hated for so long… not knowing what it was. It is the power to birth life through the majic of the womb.

  She moans with her need as I begin undressing her, I strip her naked in the night and remove my clothes as well.

  “I will give you the power to save them, but it will burn out your own light.”

  Her body trembles as I fill it with my power.

  “I will give you the power of multitudes, but it shall take your longevity.”

  I draw her down into the golden sands to lay with me.

  “Please,” She whimpers as I run a hand over the gentle peak of her breasts.

  “For each man, two women shall be born.”

  “No!” She cries out as my fingertips reach her warm sheath.

  “It must be my daughter,” I take her lips so that she can cry into my soul.

  Through her body I connect to the all of the women, of all of the lands and I change the order of things.

  Darius will hunt them, it will not do for them to have the power to live for hundreds of years, but only birth so few children. They will need to cover the lands in the power of man so that they can survive

  I break the kiss and move down her smooth dark flesh, coating her in my essence. “You will birth nine more, six girls, three boys before your service to me ends.”

  “Please, my Goddess!” She cries above me as I guide my lips to her lower lips.

  I taste in her essence passion and heartache as I part her slit with my tongue and suck her bud into my mouth gently. I connect to her sacral and every sacral of every woman and I lay a curse of fertility upon them.

  “Serve; submit,” I order her.

  “I submit!” She cries out as I force her body to quicken for me, planting my curse in fertile ground. It is not our way, it is not the way of the Ishtars to submit, but we shall if we must.

  They must.

  Two women, for every man.

  And with multitude I give them the curious heart, the ache to travel across the lands and cover this world in the power of their numbers.

  I give them a stigmata all their own, and I pray one day that I shall be forgiven for it.

  The End

  Epilogue - 1

  Jaevia - Memory

  I jog in the mornings now, every morning, without fail. The park is as beautiful as ever, lush and green, filled with life. More than just plant life, animal life is returning now as well… along with the magic the pixies bring.

  Life… how fragile of a thing; yet how resilient.

  We returned to Baltimore as if we’d only stepped through the portal at our honeymoon home and right into the basement of the warehouse. Tabari, Frank, Némion, Harper… everyone, nothing has changed for any of them.

  Nothing is the same for Lucien, Jack or me.

  It’s hard between us right now. Lucien has absolutely thrown himself into the construction of the castle; he barely stops to eat or to rest. I think he forces himself to come to bed with us every night… or rather, with me.

  Jack moved into the abandoned mansion in the park. I begged him not to go, but he asked me for some time. His eyes are filled with silver, he refuses to use the power of the moon, my power, to help him cope with the ache. I’m not sure if it’s because he wants to be strong, or if he wants to punish himself. Knowing Jack, it’s probably a bit of both.

  He still comes to the warehouse every day, usually spending his time on the roof or in the shambles of what remains of our kitchen. He sends Lucien a meal every day via one of the berserker guards, but I can’t think of the last time my two men have been in the same room together.

  I refuse to meddle; they have to find their own way back to one another. I pray to the Goddess that they can; and that the path won’t be too painful for them.

  My legs ache as I begin my jog up another hill, I’ve been running for two hours now… I think. Maybe I’m running from something, or to something.

  I reach the top of the hill and stop to catch my breath. Goddess or not, I let my mortal flesh get out of shape. I can’t help but think, maybe I could have saved more of them in our battle against the night creatures. Maybe not a lot, maybe just one or two more lives… if I’d only been in shape. If only I hadn’t let myself believe that I could just quit my responsibilities and walk away.

  Fuck the world was a way of life for me. How many lives did we lose because of my attitude?

  Peter is a shit, but that doesn’t mean I get to be.

  “Jae?!” I turn as I hear Tabari’s voice call out.

  He’s jogging up the hill I just came up. Dressed in a pair of joggers, tennis shoes and a plain white shirt. Not really what you’d think when you hear ‘strongest magi of our generation’; but that’s exactly what he is.

  “How’d you find me?” I ask wiping the sweat from my face.

  “I just put out a call, you know they track you.”

  I huff and turn, taking up my jog again; Tabari falls in beside me.

  The berserkers are very apt stalkers, and quiet as all hell. They were made to hunt in the wilderness. Goddess knows how many of them are out there right now keeping an eye on me. But they try to maintain my privacy, and I appreciate their efforts.

  “How are you?” Tabari asks.

  “Managing.”

  “Managing?”

  I stop again and put my hands on my hips, “I’m managing to keep from having a nervous breakdown, managing to not think of Keyon and all the others, managing not to think of how every fucking thing is our fault… I’m managing.”

  We sat down and told everyone what had happened, we told them all the story of the eventide that destroyed the city of Atum and the last of the first peoples.

  The room was silent when we’d finished the tale… even my parents couldn’t offer us any soothing words or platitudes. Although, my father did seem somewhat pleas
ed that I got to meet Madoc.

  Everyone just went on with life, but everything feels wrong! Everything feels off.

  “Come on,” he nods his head towards a large fallen log. I follow him over to sit down before I fall down. I’ve lost the feeling in my legs.

  I lean on my knees to let the sweat drip from my face to the ground.

  “How long are you going to beat yourself up about this, Jae?”

  “Half an eternity at least.”

  He chuckles, “At least you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”

  “Yeah, that would be a real tragedy.” I sit back and take in a deep breath, looking at him. “I can’t help but to blame myself. If we’d just turned around and came right back home...”

  “Then what needed to happen wouldn’t have happened.”

  “What are you talking about?! They didn’t need to die; their world didn’t need to be destroyed…”

  “It was built on a lie, Jaevia – they built their world on the souls of the people of Set.”

  “I know but…”

  “But nothing,” He looks at me intently, “That sort of thing always has a cost. This was the universe righting itself, that’s all, the yoke must always be even.”

  “If the Kindred weren’t keeping the gods then…”

  “We’d still be at war… you see mankind, you know mankind. Do you think they’re really ready for god power to return? They still bicker over petty things. Look at what they’ve done to you!”

  I sigh.

  “They call you evil and believe the worst… it’s just a coincidence that you begin to lean into the darkness of your nature? They believe that you don’t care about them, you stop caring? The purpose of mankind has always been to define the power of the gods.”

  “Maybe so, but what I felt there,” I shake my head, “It was beautiful beyond words. So much love and connectivity, even if it was powered on a lie, it was still truth in their love. I saw what mankind could be… and then I destroyed it.”

  “The echoes are what they are, sister. Time magic is the magic of madmen. Lucien had to be sent to the future, you had to be born of an unmatched pair of Kindred daemons, Jack had to be a Blood Lord of a pure heritage… these things had to happen to bring about the eventide.”

  “Look at the cost!”

  “Then it’s up to you to make that cost worth it, sister. It’s up to the three of you to make it a worthy sacrifice. One day you will have to reap what you’ve sown… the question is, what shall you sow?”

  Epilogue - 2

  Jack – Home

  It feels odd being here, home, at the warehouse. After everything that’s happened, everything is so… normal. We stepped through the portal as if our time in Atum never happened, but it had, and I’m not all together sure what I am now.

  I spend most of my time in the forest at the old abandoned mansion, or in the greenhouse on the roof of the warehouse… Kitty is most gracious about it, which is odd for Kitty.

  The night air and the smell inside of the greenhouse are comforting, both the scent of living things and dead. I’m not sure if I’m depressed or feel guilty. And if I feel guilty… then for what?

  The curse ravaged the lands of Alkebulan, the nosferatu laid waste to all the blood moon shone on. We couldn’t let the souls free, not the way that they were… they would have destroyed what was left.

  Still, Darius is free, somewhere… and his rage will know no end. My heart and gut tighten when I think of him and the things he did to me.

  I push the thoughts away and refocus on my work.

  Just don’t think about it, I remind myself again.

  I feel his presence join mine, not Darius, but him… the him that forces me to live this life of servitude and sin. His power seems to always swallow up the space in a room. I don’t turn from the large pile of dark earth on the table. Perhaps I am a bit of a coward because I don’t turn around; I have no wish to face him.

  The dark blue peat moss sits to the side, I take a few handfuls of it and begin mixing it into the earth.

  Peat moss is decayed plants. The memory of a thing filled with nutrients that I can use to feed the dark plants I wish to grow. That’s right, Jack Knightley the gardener, although, I have a thing for the exotics. The night blooms, the Venus fly traps, the living vines with poisonous thorns and the moonlight lilies whose petals die with even a hint of sunlight, I have a thing for the dark side of Gaia’s heart; I am a son of Keb.

  I can feel the memory of life in the moss as I work with it, my fingertips the catalyst to make it something more… how odd the magic tastes much like the blood I drink – life giving, life taking.

  He clears his throat gently, “How long will you avoid me then?”

  I stop my work and look out at the green covered roof top, the flittering light of the pixies as they work peeks out in the greenery.

  “I’m not the one who abandoned our marriage,” I whisper and add a cup of ground bone marrow, sprinkling the yellowish white powder on my mound of earth.

  A vampire doing material magic; it is odd perhaps, but I find I enjoy it. It reminds me of cooking, adding this to that, something bitter to something sweet and then making it something new.

  “I did not abandon our marriage, I’ve been here Capaneus, you are the one who left our bed.”

  I sigh and look out of the greenhouse glass again. I look into the night sky beyond and the moon above. I haven’t used a bit of her power, not once, I’m clean of the addiction. For once in my life I’m free of the need to not feel what I’m feeling… Darius taught me that there was no escape.

  He held me down and made me swallow…. Oh goddess please… I push the thoughts away again.

  But the memory, the power, the pain of the Blood Ocean is always with me. Now I do not hide from it, I lean into it and I let myself mourn their tortured souls. The sin of my people… an unending thing. They dared to wish to be loved – now look at what it cost them.

  “Why did you leave our bed? Do you wish to set me aside?”

  “You’ve been walking around like a zombie, Lucien. We’ve been back for two months and you’ve barely said a word to me. I left our bed two weeks ago and when did you notice? Tonight?”

  His sigh is heavy, “I have not cared for our union as I should have. I feel I was caught in a state of mourning…”

  “And my pain was less?” I sigh.

  “No Capaneus, but you can process pain better than me… you specialize in heartache…”

  “Not this time… I needed you too, Lucien.”

  “The fault is with me, but I’m here now… if you wish me to be.”

  I grab a cloth and wipe my hands as I turn around to face him. He looks good, he always does. Tall, dark, strong – he’s wearing a pair of sweatpants, hands in his pockets, plain white undershirt, no shoes. It’s easy to see he was ready for bed and just finally noticed I wasn’t there and hadn’t been there for a long time now.

  Jaevia tried to get me to stay, but I asked her to let us have some time apart. Lucien needed it and if I’m honest, I needed it too.

  We both have reason enough to hate one another – we’ve always had reason enough to hate one another, but I think this is the first time that they were good reasons.

  His people enslaved mine and my people cursed his and around and around it goes again.

  I know we’re supposed to make it stop with us… that’s the point in all of this, we’re supposed to find a way to break the cycle. But, how can I? How can he?

  “I do not wish for you to leave me, Capaneus.”

  “You think I’m dirty now…”

  “I do not!”

  “You do and you know it!” My voice cracks with my pain, “Ever since he’s had me… you haven’t even kiss…”

  I’m in his arms with his tongue in my mouth before I can finish my sentence. He makes me submit. He shows me that he still wishes me… but as what? His husband or his slave?

  He breaks the kiss growling, “You are
mine.” He cups the back of my head, rubbing a thumb along my jaw. “Say it!”

  “I am yours,” I murmur low, like the good slave I am.

  “I did not think you would wish my touch, Capaneus, that is the only reason I have abstained from you.”

  I close my eyes and grab his wrist, “I’m different, Lucien.”

  “Yet all that I see is my husband.” He puts a hand on my waist pulling me into the heat of his body. “Consent.” He kisses my lips again softly and pulls back.

  “I feel dirty, Lucien… I feel…”

  “Consent to destroy you in my name.”

  My gut bottoms out with desire, and I whimper with longing, sick twisted longing.

  “I know what you need. I am your husband,” He moves a hand to unbutton my jeans.

  “Consent.” I whisper as he turns me to face the table of earth again. I look out the glass of the greenhouse.

  “I have to hurt you baby,” He whispers, his voice aching with sadness as he strips me naked.

  “I know,” I open my heart to the curse… I deserve this.

  “You cannot leave me, don’t you see? I’m just like him,” He presses his body into mine, and wraps his arm around me to grab my throat and pull my head to the side to expose his mark. “It’s a madness in me,” he hisses across the scar on my flesh, marking me as his property.

  I nod.

  “Baby, you shouldn’t have left, Capaneus, you cannot…” his large body trembles as he parts my ass and positions himself against my rose. “I’ve… I’m going to make it hurt.”

  “Please don’t,” I cry.

  “I’m sorry,” He murmurs.

  I scream when he surges forward… not a bit of lubrication, he rips me apart. I claw at the glass windows of the greenhouse as he moves his hand to the back of my neck and bends me over to fuck me cruelly.

  “Shut up,” he growls and pulls from me just to surge into me again. “You deserve this!”

  I bite my own tongue, making it bleed before I scream. He hurts me worse when I don’t obey.

  He’s not quick about it, Blood King save me, he’s not quick about it at all. I feel his pleasure in destroying me as I weep, and he doesn’t want it to end. He loves fucking me when I cry.