Baby I’m Yours

by Elks, Carrie

  And yet it had been amazing. Touching her, laughing with her, watching her eyes roll back with pleasure. He’d made her come again and again, just to hear her soft gasps, feel the pleasure of them as they caressed his ears.

  God, she was pretty. And funny. And crazily easy to talk to. If he were any other kind of man he’d find it easy to fall for her. But he knew what falling meant. It meant landing on shards of glass and twisted metal, feeling them slice you up until you bled.

  It meant pain and hurt and everything else he’d avoided these past three years.

  After one last, rueful glance at her, he rolled over and slid his feet out of bed, reaching down to pick up his boxer shorts from where she’d thrown them earlier. He padded across the rug and onto the cold marble floor, keeping his steps light so as not to wake her. He grabbed his pants, sliding them on, and then his shirt, doing up the buttons and slinging his jacket and tie over his arm, turning one last time to look at the angel laying in the bed.

  “Thank you,” he whispered, pulling on his socks and shoes. He didn’t want to leave, but he knew he couldn’t stay. Yeah, it would be easy to sleep here for the rest of the night. Maybe wake up in the morning for round three, and take her out to breakfast and shoot the breeze with this woman.

  But he couldn’t. Because he knew what would happen. He’d hurt her and he’d hurt himself. He was that kind of an asshole, and she didn’t deserve that.

  He opened the door, stepping out into the silence of the early morning. The sun hadn’t yet risen, but there was a threat of it in the air. Slowly he closed the door, checking the handle to make sure it was locked, and walked down the pathway toward the parking lot.

  * * *

  “What do you mean you don’t know his name?” Caitie asked as she and Harper carried their cardboard coffee cups to a table overlooking the Pacific, taking a deep breath as she faced the view. Part of her therapy for overcoming her phobia of the ocean was to be exposed to it in small doses. Harper checked to see if she was okay before sitting down to join their friends, Ember, Brooke, and Ally who were already at the table.

  “Whose name?” Ember asked as they sat in the two empty seats beside her. “What are you talking about?”

  “Harper hooked up with a guy last night, but he disappeared after they… you know…” Caitie widened her eyes as though to give them a hint. “And she can’t even remember what his name is.”

  Harper sighed. “I can’t remember because he didn’t tell me. I called him Frank, he called me Grace.” It had been weird waking up to find him gone. She’d felt somewhere between sad and relieved. No embarrassing talk, no empty promises, or scribbled phone numbers they knew would never be used.

  And yet she’d felt horribly empty, too.

  “Well it’s a small town,” Ally said, leaning forward. “If he lives around here he probably comes in for coffee. Describe him.”

  Harper took a sip of coffee, swallowing down the warm liquid. “Um, he’s tall. About six two or three. Short dark hair, cheekbones a model would kill for. Brown eyes. He’s muscled, too, like he surfs or something.”

  Brooke laughed. “You’ve just described half the male population of Angel Sands. Lucas is tall and dark with muscles,” she pointed out, talking about Caitie’s brother and Ember’s husband. “So is Aiden. And I know where they were all night so that rules them out.”

  “Did he tell you where he works?” Caitie asked.

  “No. I don’t remember talking about his job at all.” Harper wrinkled her nose. “We talked about serial killers and Hollywood and clothes.” Why hadn’t she asked him about his job? Maybe she’d been too busy wrapping herself around his body to care.

  “Maybe he’s a cop. Or works for the FBI,” Ally suggested.

  “Or he’s a massive Hollywood star playing a serial killer in his next movie,” Ember added with a smile. “What if it was Hugh Jackman or Zac Efron?”

  Harper laughed. “I would have recognized them. He didn’t seem like he was from Hollywood at all. I know a lot of actors, and he wasn’t like one of them.” He hadn’t cared about his clothes or his looks or anything else. Just her pleasure and her needs.

  The thought sent a tingle down her spine.

  “Maybe I could ask Aiden. See if he recognizes the description,” Brooke suggested. Her fiancé was the Silver Sands Resort director. “This guy must have had an invitation. Somebody knows who he is.”

  “You could check the security tapes,” Ally said, clapping her hands together. “Like in a detective movie.”

  “Please don’t.” Harper grimaced. “I don’t want everybody knowing I hooked up with a guy whose name I don’t know. If he’d wanted me to find him he would have left a note, or at least woken me up before he left.” Her stomach dropped. “Let’s face it, I was a one night stand to whoever he was.”

  Caitie slid her hand over Harper’s. “I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “It sounds like you liked him.”

  Harper shook her head, refusing to be upset. “It doesn’t matter. We had a good time. We were careful.” She raised her brows. “No harm was done to any animals.”

  Caitie burst out laughing. “I’m glad to hear.”

  “And anyway, I haven’t got the time or the energy for a relationship right now. I need to find a job and pay the rent. I don’t need any distractions.”

  “Well, whoever he is, he’s the one missing out,” Ember said firmly. “You’re gorgeous, you’re talented, and you’re one of the nicest people I know. And as Brooke said, he’s nothing special, just another guy like the rest in Angel Sands. If you’re looking for somebody we could set you up.”

  “How about Ethan?” Ally asked, inclining her head at the barista behind the counter. “He’s older than he looks.”

  “He’s twenty-one,” Brooke said, shaking her head. “And he’s got student loans up to his eyeballs.” She ran the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip, thinking. “I know. There’s a guy at the hotel who’s recently divorced. He’s the finance director. I bet he’d love to go on a date with you.”

  Harper shook her head firmly. “You guys are wonderful, but no. Thank you, though. I’m not looking for anything serious, and I’m definitely not looking for a long distance relationship. I saw what it did to Caitie when she lived in L.A. and Breck was here in Angel Sands. If I want a guy – and I don’t – I’ll find myself one in L.A.”

  “If you’re sure.” Brooke almost hid the disappointment on her face. “But the offer is always there.”

  Harper was certain. Last night had been a one-off; something amazing and embarrassing, and everything in between. This afternoon she’d drive back to LA and forget about it all.

  The chances were, he’d already forgotten about her.

  5

  At first, Harper thought it was a bug. The kind that made you hurl your breakfast in the toilet bowl every morning, then suddenly be hungry for more. The nausea wasn’t as bad as it looked; it only lasted a few moments at a time. One minute she’d be sick as a dog, the next she was craving a burger for dinner.

  But it wasn’t the vomiting that brought her to the drugstore. It was her tender breasts. They ached and throbbed like she was getting ready for a massive period, but her period never came.

  So here she was, staring at a shelf full of tests, trying to work out whether she wanted a digital window or a pink stripe, and wondering who the hell bought a three pack of pregnancy tests. As god was her witness, once this one came up negative she was never having sex again.

  Maybe she’d become a nun. Did they let nuns dye their hair? She wasn’t sure she’d be able to give up the pink tips. Or she could be one of those people who wore purity rings like the Jonas Brothers. Only if they let her be a born-again-purist, though. Otherwise they’d kick her out of the sect.

  And while she was on a roll, who the heck thought it would be a great idea to put the pregnancy tests right next to the condoms? Damn taunting little boxes. She started to stick her tongue out at them, then noticed another cu
stomer staring at her. Was she talking to herself again?

  Harper sighed and leaned forward, picking up a pink box. It didn’t matter which one she chose. It was going to be negative anyway. She turned on her heel, lifting her middle finger in a salute to the condom shelves, and made her way over to the registers, opting for the self-checkout in an attempt not to embarrass herself further.

  “Frank Sinatra,” she muttered. “You have a lot to answer for.”

  * * *

  “Seriously?” Caitie said, taking Harper’s hands in hers, wide eyed and excited. “Oh my god. How long? When are you due? When did you find out?”

  “Nine weeks according to the doctor,” Harper told her. The nausea was slowly abating, but she still felt sick at the thought of the positive test.

  Not to mention the fact she still hadn’t found a full-time job. She’d been freelancing for the past two months, picking up work here and there, making as much money as she could with her Etsy orders, and somehow managing to pay the rent. She was a month behind on her car payment, though, and every time there was a knock on the door she was certain it was a repossession company.

  And now this… it was as though life was laughing its ass off at her.

  “Oh my god, Harper. You’re having a baby.” Caitie grabbed her hand, her eyes shining. “A real life baby. Congratulations.”

  “I’m not sure a celebration is in order,” Harper said drily. “At least not from the baby’s point of view. She really lucked out, being born to a jobless, potentially homeless mom.”

  “She?” Caitie raised an eyebrow.

  Harper shrugged. “Yeah, she.” Okay so she didn’t know the sex, but calling the baby it sounded so impersonal.

  Caitie grinned. “So you’re keeping…her?”

  Harper pulled her lip between her teeth. “Yeah,” she said slowly. “I guess I am.” Even at nine weeks pregnant she felt different; protective. This little smaller-than-a-bean human growing inside her was Harper’s responsibility. “Poor kid.”

  “Lucky kid,” Caitie said, shaking her head. “Having a mom like you. Now let’s talk plans. Have you located an obstetrician yet? Decided where to have the baby? Oh my god, I need to organize your baby shower. Where should we do it – here or Angel Sands?”

  “Let’s slow down. I’m nine weeks, not nine months.” Harper couldn’t help but grin. As soon as she’d seen those two lines form on the test she’d called Caitie and asked her to drive up to L.A. She didn’t trust herself to drive to Angel Sands without causing an accident.

  And talking to her best friend was already calming her. And as the reality was dawning, she somehow felt better about it all.

  She was having a baby, and somehow, some way, they’d be okay.

  “What about the father?” Caitie asked, her voice soft. “Have you told him?”

  Harper grimaced. “I can’t. I don’t know his name, remember?”

  “It was the guy at the resort?” Caitie’s mouth dropped open. “Frank? Oh my god, you’re having Frank Sinatra’s baby. We should call up the Entertainment channel.”

  Harper burst out laughing. “Grace Kelly and Frank Sinatra’s love child, born twenty years after their death. Imagine the headlines!”

  “She’ll be beautiful and talented. Lucky girl.” Caitie leaned forward to squeeze Harper tight. “She really is lucky, you know.” Her voice soft.

  “So lucky I don’t even know who her father is.” Harper sighed. Along with the nausea, she was still getting used to the mood swings.

  “You know who he is, just not his name. That’s all; and we can work that out. I’ll call Brooke, ask her for Aiden’s help. We’ll track down this guy. It’s just a matter of time.”

  “And what if he doesn’t want to know?” Harper swallowed hard. She knew what it was like, being rejected by the person who was supposed to love you.

  “That’s his choice,” Caitie said. “But he deserves to know.”

  “You’re right.” Harper nodded. “That’s one problem solved, I guess.”

  “What’s the other problem?”

  “A little matter of me having no steady income. I still haven’t found a permanent job, and being pregnant isn’t going to help. I’ve got no medical insurance, and I have no way of paying for all the bills this pregnancy is going to bring me. I can’t even afford to pay the rent.” Harper shook her head. “I’m going to be in debt for the rest of my life.”

  Caitie’s expression was full of sympathy. “I can help. Breck can, too. Not just financially but we can give you support.” Her brows knitted together as she stared down. “There has to be a way for you to do this.” She tapped her finger against her lip a few times, before she looked up at Harper. “Maybe you should move to Angel Sands and stay with us. Just until the baby’s here and you can get back on your feet. That way you won’t need to worry about rent.”

  “I can’t; my life is here. And I could never impose on you like that.”

  “You wouldn’t be imposing,” Caitie told her. “It’d save me driving up and down from Angel Sands to L.A. to check on you all the time. And I’ve missed you like crazy these past few months. Our spare bedroom is already set up for you, remember? You can design and make as many dresses as you like there.”

  Harper’s eyes stung with tears. “I hate relying on other people. I’m turning into my mom.”

  “No, you’re not.” Caitie’s voice was firm. “You’re nothing like her. You’re amazing, funny, and my best friend. Let me help you the way you’ve always helped me.” She smiled. “I can’t wait to be an Auntie to little Frank or Grace. It’s going to be amazing.”

  Harper took in a deep breath. Caitie was right, she always was. There was no way Harper could do this alone. And unlike her mom, she wasn’t planning on having this baby and abandoning it to whatever family member was a soft touch.

  No, this baby would always feel wanted. Forever be loved. And she would never feel as though she’d ruined somebody’s life. If that meant accepting the kindness of friends until Harper got back on her feet, then that’s what she’d do.

  “Thank you,” she said, blowing out a mouthful of air. “I’ll think about it. I promise.”

  * * *

  “James!” His mom smiled as she opened the door and immediately pulled him into a bear hug. “How are you? Have you been eating? I swear, every time I see you there’s nothing of you.”

  “I weigh two hundred pounds, Mom. I’m not exactly wasting away.” He pulled back to look at her. “And I’m fine. I eat, I work out, I look after myself. You don’t need to worry about me.”

  “I’ll always worry about you,” she said softly. “Now come in. Your dad’s lighting the grill and you know how much he hates that. The Russells are here. I don’t know if he warned you. Lucas and Ember are here, too. She’s pregnant – did you know?” His mom twisted her fingers, her lips pressing together in a thin worried line.

  The Russells were his parents’ best friends from before he was even born. He’d grown up with them – they were almost family. Which made their son, Lucas, like a younger brother to him.

  But like so many others, he’d lost touch with him over the past few years. “No, I didn’t know,” he said, shrugging. “How far along is she?”

  “Six months, I think.” His mom’s expression softened. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay, honey? I can make your excuses…”

  “It’s fine. People are allowed to have babies. Just because I lost mine, doesn’t mean I get to hide away.” He gave her a smile to let her know he meant it. It wasn’t as if you could avoid babies or children in this world. Or pretty women, for that matter. It had been three years, after all. He should be okay by now.

  Some days he actually believed that.

  As soon as he walked into his parents’ backyard, the four people sitting around the glass table turned to look at him. He recognized Deenie and Wallace, of course. Deenie didn’t seemed to have changed a bit since he was fifteen and used to hang out in her bookshop. Her
long silver hair was pulled back into a low bun, reflecting the rays of sun. Wallace may have put on some weight, but he, too, had the look of a man younger than his age. And both of them were smiling at him.

  “Hello, James.” Wallace was the first to stand. There was a scrape of chairs as the others followed. Wallace reached for his hand and James shook it firmly before he gave Deenie a hug.

  “You remember Lucas,” she said softly. “And this is his wife, Ember.”

  “It’s good to meet you,” he said to Ember, shaking her hand before turning to Lucas. “And it’s great to see you again.”

  “It’s good to see you, too.” Lucas gave him a tight hug that almost took James’s breath away. It had been more than a while since he’d seen him. In that time he’d grown, got more muscles. Maybe that’s what working at the fire department did to you. “How’s work going?”

  “Good. I just came from the hospital.”

  “Working on your day off again?” his mom said, sliding a non-alcoholic beer into his hands. “What have I told you about that?”

  “Sickness doesn’t wait for a weekday, Mom.”

  “That’s what I always say about fire,” Lucas said, grinning. “It doesn’t follow a nine-to-five shift.” James appreciated the understanding in his eyes. There were so few professions that understood being on call twenty-four-seven, and working whatever it took to make people better. Medical workers, police officers, firefighters… all of them did whatever it took to protect and serve.

  “Sit down,” Deenie said, patting the chair next to hers. “Tell me how you’re doing.”

  He took the seat and smiled at her. “I’m fine. Just keeping on keeping on. I hear you’re going to be a Grandma. Congratulations.”

  “It’s wonderful,” she agreed. “We’re very happy.” She licked her lips and looked him in the eye. “But there’s a sadness, too. After what happened to Sara and Jacob…”