Come Back To What You Know

by Kyra Lennon

  "Hi. How are you?"

  Just like always, his voice quickly settled my nerves, and I smiled to myself.

  "I'm okay," I told him. "Just enjoying the quiet of my apartment tonight. How are you?"

  "I'm fine. How come you're alone on a Friday night? Where's your flatmate?"

  "She's out with Lewis tonight. I didn't really fancy it."

  There was a short pause, then Brayden said, "Would you think I sounded crazy if I said I had a feeling you might need to talk?"

  The chuckle passed through my lips before I could stop it. I wasn't laughing at him, I was laughing because I never imagined he felt that weird psychic thing I felt sometimes. "Not crazy. Perceptive."

  "So what's wrong?"

  "Nothing's wrong. A good thing happened today. I'm just not too sure what to do about it."

  "Can I help?"

  Yes. Come and get me. Right now. It always blew my mind how much I wanted to be near him the moment I heard his voice. All of a sudden, there was no decision to make. I wanted to go home. I wanted to hear that voice whispering in my ear. I wanted to know how it would feel to touch him. To feel his lips against mine again.

  Focus. Talk to him.

  "I've been offered a chance to stay for one more year," I told him. "My boss said he'd like to renew my contract. I don't have to decide right now. In fact, I've got until the end of November to decide."

  There was another pause. One I couldn't read. Eventually, Brayden said, "Do you want to stay?" I thought I could hear a slight hint of fear in his voice. Fear that I might want to stay.

  "I don't know. Part of me would love another year here. It's been hard but really fun a lot of the time too. I love the job. I've made good friends."

  "Well, I mean, that's great and all, but I think you need to come back to the UK soon. Over here, you can buy teabags whenever you want, and I know you're missing the fish and chips, and HP sauce on bacon sandwiches, and roast dinners."

  My stomach rumbled at his words because I could virtually taste my mum's Yorkshire puddings, and God, I'd missed them. I'd missed everything Brayden just said and more. "You're killing me," I moaned. "I do want all those things."

  "Don't forget the Maltesers. And it's not just the food. You're missing out on the age old tradition of a kebab after a night out, re-runs of Only Fools and Horses on a Sunday afternoon, Match of the Day, proper football in general, especially that thing we always do before a major tournament where we talk about how amazing England could be this year, only to call them a bunch of twats after we get knocked out in the first round. The Queen's Speech. Nando's. Moaning that it's too hot in the summer then whining about the cold the second October hits."

  He paused for breath, and by that time, I was laughing hysterically, even though there was a small ache starting in my chest. Because, God, I did miss it. I missed home. All the silly things he'd mentioned and more.

  He laughed. "Come back to what you know. You know you want to."

  His voice changed slightly. A little huskiness to his tone.

  "What else do I need to come back for?" I asked softly.

  "Well... I heard there was this guy... he's pretty into you. I think he'd like to see you. He's been waiting a long time." He paused for a moment. "Come home, Charley."

  The simple words were uttered, and my stomach flipped over at the possibility. But could I really go back? I mean, I'd always intended to go home, but that was before I'd been offered the chance to stay. At first, Chicago had been terrifying, but over the past few months, it had felt more like home. I loved where I lived, I loved my job, and I adored my friends. In spite of the short time we'd known each other, I was as close to Evelyn as I was to people I'd known my whole life back home. She'd become like a sister.

  "Charley?"

  "Brayden, I..."

  "I know I shouldn't ask, okay? I know that. But, God, Charley... it's getting harder to... I just want to see you." He let out a sigh and then laughed. "Sorry. That made me sound desperate, but... I really need to see you."

  The clench in my stomach tightened at his words, because I needed to see him too. So much. My body reacted to him in ways I'd never reacted to anyone before. Every part of me seemed to be calling out to him, eager to get close enough to touch him. If he could do that to me halfway across the world, what could he do to me when we were together? It wasn't only my stomach that jolted at the thought.

  "Me too," I told him. "I need to see you too. Brayden, I... yes. Yes. I'll come home."

  The moment the words left my lips, they felt so right. Sure, I loved Chicago, and I loved my job, and I adored Evelyn, Lewis, and the other people I'd met, but... my heart would always be in the UK, and it wanted to be with Brayden.

  "I miss you," I said, before I could stop myself. The words blurted from me like I'd been holding them in forever, and it felt like I had. He and I talked all the time, and I reined my feelings in because I didn't want to sound ridiculous. Like an overemotional nightmare. That shit scares guys, and I didn't want to scare him. I wanted to know him. But since he'd told me he wanted to see me... I couldn't hold it back anymore. "I know that's stupid because we only met once, but when time passes and we don't speak, I feel like my arms are physically reaching out for you, and when you're not there, it hurts. I hate the feeling of not being able to reach you, because that connection... it's rare. Special."

  I heard Brayden let out a breath, and my heart stopped for a moment, waiting for him to speak. Praying I hadn't said too much.

  "I know, Charley. I miss you too. I feel that too."

  "Thank God," I breathed, then laughed as relief flooded me. Maybe this was really it. Maybe this time we'd finally get our chance.

  Chapter 8

  Charley

  Fourteen Months Ago

  "You know, in the UK, there is a set amount of costumes for Halloween – no deviations. Witches, devils, ghosts, vampires, zombies, and werewolves. That's it. Well, it was like that when I was a kid, anyway."

  I shook my head at my reflection in the mirror. I was dressed as an all-American cheerleader—wearing a blue and white ridiculously short dress, with USA emblazoned across my chest, blue and white pom poms, and my long hair tied up in pigtails.

  Behind me, Evelyn laughed. "And this is why you have more fun here. No rigid rules to stick to!"

  "I'm not sure it was ever about rules," I mused. "It's just that Halloween was supposed to be scary. There's nothing scary about cheerleaders. Unless they're zombie cheerleaders." I momentarily toyed with the idea of slashing my outfit, rubbing some ketchup on it, smearing my make-up and messing up my hair.

  "Don't even think about it." She must have read my mind, and I laughed. "You look hot."

  "So do you."

  She did, too. Evelyn was dressed as Harley Quinn – and almost looked better than Margot Robbie. Almost. I did suggest it was mildly inappropriate to be wearing so little since we were headed to a Halloween party at work, and most of our students would be there, but she pointed out that it's the one night of the year where anything goes, and she did look amazing. Also, I wasn't exactly totally covered up, though I did opt for white knee socks so slightly less flesh was on display.

  You can take the girl out of England...

  "Come on," Evelyn said, walking over to me and standing beside me, throwing her arm over my shoulder. "Quick selfie before we go!"

  Before I could protest, she'd held her phone up in front of us and we both grinned at the camera as she took our photo. She showed it to me for approval before doing her thing and posting it on Facebook. I heard my own phone bleep as it notified me that I'd been tagged. For a moment, I wondered what Brayden had done for Halloween night, if anything. He'd sent me a message a few days ago telling me he'd been busy with work so we hadn't spoken for most of the week. I wasn't worried though. He and I had grown closer since he'd asked me to go home. We'd done the video call thing several times, and that only made our connection stronger. I was literally counting down the days until I
got to see him. I had one of those dorky apps that does a countdown for you, and every day, as it got closer and closer, my excitement grew a bit more.

  Before I could get lost in thoughts of Brayden again, I shook my head and tried to put my focus on the evening ahead.

  **

  The room that had been kitted out for the Halloween party looked like every single stereotype of an American Halloween party I'd ever seen. They certainly didn't do things by halves over there. The whole ceiling had been decorated with fake cobwebs, with plastic bats and spiders hanging off them in various places. Right in the centre, a huge terrifying-looking witch on a broomstick hung down, overseeing the evening's events. A smoke machine pumped out a gentle mist across the floor, spookying the place up even more. Various Halloween-themed wall hangings had been dotted around the edge of the room, and even the DJ's equipment had been hung with cobwebs. The food and drinks tables were equally as meticulously decorated, with tiny toy bugs and rats on the edges of the plates. I felt like I'd walked into a high school movie set.

  My fellow teachers and students had gone all out with their costumes. There were very few witches or vampires though. Just as I'd pointed out earlier, people had dressed up in whatever costumes they felt most drawn to. I spotted all kinds of characters, including three friends dressed as Homer, Marge and Bart from The Simpsons, a police officer, a couple who had come as Beauty and the Beast, a devil, several superheroes, and someone who had rather creatively dressed as Pacman. It was a night I knew I wouldn't forget, that was for sure.

  "Hey, Charley!"

  I turned away from Evelyn and Lewis on the dancefloor when I heard a familiar voice over my shoulder. I smiled at Luca, another teacher who was also working at the school for a year, just like me. He was American, but of Italian descent, and the kind of guy who was so ridiculously good-looking, most women had trouble speaking whenever he was nearby. Frankly, it was a miracle anyone learned anything from him. He was absolutely mesmerising with his thick black hair and hypnotising blue eyes. He was pretty ripped too from what I could tell from the tight shirts he often wore. That evening, he was dressed as Batman, and looked frighteningly handsome.

  "Luca! Where have you been hiding?"

  "I was on drinks duty, but I thought I should ask you for a dance before it gets too late and I miss my chance."

  He winked at me and I chuckled. He wasn't really flirting with me in a serious way. He was just a naturally good flirt, so when he put his arms around me, I stepped in only a little closer, and put my arms around him too.

  "You look sensational tonight," he said. "Although, I could have sworn you had pom poms when you came in."

  I laughed. "I did. Jenna stole them an hour ago and I haven't seen them since."

  Jenna was one of the girls in my class, a bubbly character who was super eager to learn. I didn't mind that she'd taken my props – the last time I saw her with them, she was trying to arrange some kind of conga, shaking the pom poms in the air.

  "It's easier to dance without them anyway," I added, still chuckling as I glanced around the room to see if I could spot them.

  "That's true. So, have you had fun tonight?"

  I nodded. "I really have. It's so weird to me being in amongst all this. Halloween isn't such a big deal in the UK, and I've always thought it looked really fun over here."

  "Oh yeah. We take this shit seriously. Doesn't quite compare to the July fourth celebrations though."

  I grinned. "Luca, that was like a dream! The food, the fireworks... it was epic!"

  He laughed. "So, are we any closer to making you stay?"

  I gave an almost apologetic shrug. "I still haven't refused the offer, but I'm going home at the end of the year. I'm ready to go back."

  Luca's eyes dimmed for a moment, and I looked at him curiously. "I know we haven't hung out as much as you have with Evelyn and Lewis, but I was sorta hoping maybe we could change that. I've been wanting to ask you on a date since we first talked, but... with us working together, it felt... weird."

  There was no disguising the surprise on my face. Man, I hadn't noticed he might have been interested in me. To be fair though, I hadn't really noticed any of the guys around me in that way. My thoughts were consumed only with Brayden.

  "Oh, Luca..." I began, but he shook his head.

  "It's okay, Charley, really. You don't have to feel bad for not being into me..."

  "It's not that," I interrupted. The truth was, had I been looking, Luca would very much have been my type. "I mean... it's just... there's someone back home I need to get back to, and being with anyone else isn't an option. You're lovely, Luca. But I can't think about going on a date with anyone."

  He smiled. "He's a lucky guy."

  "I don't know about that."

  "He is, Charley. I hope he knows how lucky."

  I smiled up at him, and I felt a rush of warmth as I imagined, for the millionth time, what it would be like to be inside Brayden's arms. God... it was rough to be so far away when all I wanted was to go to him.

  "Come on," Luca said, interrupting my thoughts. "Let's go get a drink."

  **

  The Halloween party was a massive success. Students and teachers left the school building shortly before midnight, still dancing and singing as they wandered out into the night. Evelyn, Lewis, Luca, and I were equally as buzzed, and instead of going our separate ways, Evelyn invited the guys to come back to our apartment.

  As soon as we got through the door, we threw ourselves down on the sofas while Evelyn went to grab a bottle of wine from the fridge, and four glasses. She sat on the floor and poured our drinks then handed us a glass each.

  "That," Lewis said, raising his glass, "was an awesome night."

  I raised my own glass. "Agreed. I needed that. It's been a long week."

  "When did we get old?" Evelyn mused, before taking a long drink. "I mean, granted, we have jobs, and rent to pay, and blah, blah, blah but we're still in our early twenties. We should be going out more often and to more exciting things than a work's Halloween party."

  Lewis grinned. "Some of us do."

  Evelyn rolled her eyes at him. "That's because you are a total man whore, but what about the rest of us?"

  "It's not my fault that you two choose to spend your weekends painting each other's nails and watching Channing Tatum movies." Lewis pointed at Evelyn and me. "Although, it wouldn't kill you to invite me to a Channing Tatum-athon."

  I burst out laughing. "Lewis, you are always invited. You're just too busy going out and looking for your own man to want to stay in with us."

  "There's a lot to be said for a quiet night in," Luca said, resting his feet on Evelyn's coffee table, earning himself a slap on the ankles from my roommate. He smirked as he put his feet back on the floor. "Takeout, a movie, a beer and I'm all set."

  "See!" Evelyn poked his leg. "This is what I mean! We are all under twenty-five! You are talking like you're fifty-five!"

  "I'm with Luca," I said, leaning my head back against the edge of the sofa for a moment. "I like a night out as much as anyone, but I don't think you can beat a Friday night at home with good food and a movie or two."

  "You two should hook up," Lewis said, chuckling and pointing from me to Luca. I felt my cheeks warm in light of our earlier conversation, and I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

  "I'm all for it, buddy, but her heart belongs to another."

  The dramatic tone of Luca's words made me laugh, and I lifted my head. "Shut up."

  When he smiled at me, it was clear there were no hard feelings, and my embarrassment faded a smidge. He really was stunningly attractive, but like he said, my heart had already found its home. A twinge of missing Brayden almost made me jolt in my seat, but I managed to keep still, in spite of the way the need to talk to him began to trickle through my bloodstream.

  Chapter 9

  Charley

  What the hell is that?

  It was just past eight a.m, and my body jerked awake as if I'd
had a nightmare. Brayden was instantly on my mind, just as he often was when I awoke, but this? This felt different. I felt awkward in my own skin, and I had to take a few deep breaths before I could do anything else.

  Sometimes, I could be doing something totally mundane, and then, out of nowhere, I'd feel him. Like a wave of feelings for him would crash right over my mind and body, as if he were calling out to me. Maybe he was thinking of me too. Whatever it was, it was strong, and for a moment, I was drowning in my feelings for him, helpless to stop them. Paralysed by the depths of emotion, desperate to be with him, to hear him, to connect, and then... it would fade, like the tide creeping back out across the sand. My body would relax, and normality would be restored. Other times, I couldn't shake it. I'd sit with discomfort, not knowing what to do, but all the while wanting to throw all of my thoughts at him, because in those moments, I wanted nothing more than for him to know how much he meant to me. How much I missed him. How much I...

  Implausible as it was, had I fallen in love with him? Or was I just missing him because we hadn't spoken for a few days?

  The tears prickling the backs of my eyes told me what I knew but was too afraid to admit. He'd think I was insane. Completely whacked out if I said those words out loud.

  The truth was, I was finding it harder and harder to be away from him. Physically, we had no choice. But if more than two days passed and we hadn't had any contact... it was like missing a limb. A vital part of my life vanished, and a knot settled in my stomach because I missed him. I was secure in what we had. Or were probably going to have eventually. But God, yes, I missed him.

  Instinctively, I reached for my phone, and I was surprised but not completely shocked to see a message from Brayden.

  Brayden: Hey, Charley. Are you up?

  I blinked a few times to eliminate the sleep from my eyes.

  Me: Hey! Haven't seen you around online for a few days! You okay?

  Brayden: Yeah. I'm good.

  There was a weird pause. And just as I had felt his presence, like he was around me, or wanted to talk to me, something shifted and a sense of fear came over me.