To the Paris of our dreams

by Tomas Goncalves

  Eric's mom heard

  - Whaaaat? What are you guys talking about cocaiiine?

  - Coke mom, CO-KE, “Open the happiness”. Brown bleach… The soft drink...? – Gustavo – Relax, woman...

  They laughed at her reaction and to Gustavo`s answer.

  - Alright Kiddo, I'll call them... Jesus, was it really that hard to get that girl's phone number?

  - Oh no, I did try. She didn't know what it was. She told me to contact her trough smoke signs, like indigenous people, you know? Ain't nobody got time for that shit though. So I'll trust your ravens, my good lord... - Gustavo

  - Are you mocking the place where I live, young man? - Lucas was laughing

  - Not at all. I do believe people need some isolation and contemplation sometimes you know. But man, If Thoreau had come here, he would be like: Uh uh, no no no no no. I'm not staying in that shit. LOOK, some woods over there, at least there I might ran into some bears or something...

  They all laughed of Gustavo's impersonation of Thoreau.

  - ...But guuys, she's going to get sad if no one eats her food... - Isadora

  - Yeah, but the only people who she actually cares to eat that is Eric and Isabella. I could eat dirt and she wouldn't care.

  - Eric, we're fucked, they are leaving us behind.

  - … Alright, I called the girls. The five of them are coming.

  - Oooopa, I'm getting lucky toodaay...

  - Dude, there's not enough room, you know that?

  - Yeah, but there's enough grass in this city...

  - Sex in public, niiice....

  - I-ha-a-a!!

  - Dude, you suck at playing Resident Evil, you know that? I really hope for you that zombies never come across your way – Gustavo – Look! Ahh....Fuck, are you stupid or what? Go there maaan...

  - Oh shut up dude...

  - Ai ai...I'm tired

  - Seriously? You did absolutely nothing today.

  - Sleeping takes a lot of energy you know? Especially in this nice country sight atmosphere.

  - Uhum... And hey, could you please stop treating my friends as if they're all sluts?

  - Yeah guys, come on. - Gustavo – Only a couple of them are...

 

 

  The girls soon arrived. They were six.

  - Olá!

  - Hey!

  - Hungry?

  - You better be. We brought a lot of food!

 

  - Lunch's ready!

  - Aah...

  They settled this huge table outside the house, because the weather was getting warmer. And because no way in hell those seventeen people would've fit inside Lucas's small cabin.

  - What about dad, mom?

  - Oh baby, he had to go to San Francisco with Richard, then Montreal, to talk to Tom and then he's going back to Paris. A lot of business to take care these days...

  - So he's not coming back?

  - Well, it depends on how long we're staying here. - She smiled at them

  Everyone started to eat and talk like crazy. It became a zoo. Luckily there was so many people for so few lasagna that they barely had to eat it. Eric and Isabella though, were forced to eat two big pieces each. Yummy. Then they jumped on the rest of the food, mostly brought by Lucas's friends.

  - What about you Marie? Are you going back to Paris with us?

  - Yeah. My family is probably counting the days... Things are not pretty clear about what's happening next though.

  - Oh, what do you mean, dear?

  - Ah, work-wise. School. Moving. I'm not sure yet. I'm just trying to relax while I'm here I guess...

  - Yeah, but I still think it's different.

  - I'm not sure. Richard is very good at what he does. And extremely well paid to help us. Especially in a moment like this. And there's Tom helping us, too, right?

  - Every great band had its moments, man. Don't worry. We'll get through this...

  - Well, a lot of them never made it through, if you want to talk about history. And let's face it. We were never a Led Zeppelin-level of a band. People eventually get tired of those shits happening, interfering in the music.

  - Ah, don't be like that. I believe in our band man. We are on the road for what? Almost five years. We've done what? …. Five hundred concerts, minimum. Maybe way more than that...

  - Yeah, that seems about right.

  - An average of what? A couple of thousands? Maybe three thousand people for concert? In average I mean

  - Yeah, well. Alone, yeah. With Taylor and Chad was like.... I don't know. Three times that.

  - Do the math, dude. We definitely have our market value. We live off our music, and exclusively of it. And extremely well, let's face it. Only that kills your argument...

  - Mike, you're living in Paris now. How many times people stopped you in the streets so far?

  - Several times, actually, man. Stop thinking like that, man...

  - Ah, fuck it then...

  - We have desseeeeert! Who wants some coffee?

 

  Eric and Marie were in the deck, hugging some covers, because it was a particularly cold day, and they were drinking hot chocolate.

  His mom eventually appeared.

  - Dear, would you mind if I talked a bit to my son?

  - Not at all...

  Marie then went back inside. Everyone went back inside.

 

  - Funny how eeeeverybody wants to talk to me these lasts days... - He smiled – I used to charge for that, you know?

  She actually laughed and finally asked:

  - So...How are you feeling?

  - Not a hundred percent. Almost there though.

  - That’s good... Good!

  - Yeyy...

  - So, tell me... Are you dating this girl now? … Marie?

  - It's complicated...

  - I bet it is. Nobody had ever told me about her. I still thought you'd get back with Alice...

  - Oh, that's because you don't know Marie's parents. You'll love them – He smiled as she looked at him and took a second to notice the joke – ...But you liked her, didn't you? I mean, Alice?

  - Yeah, I did...She's a bit wild, and hippie, but she … I can feel she has an amazing heart... But I only have good things to say about Marie too... I guess, right? I don't quite know her yet – She ended up smiling

  - I see... Yeah I agree with you... I like her too.

  She understood.

  - Have I ever told you, I have this friend, whose son is like your biggest fan ever? I introduced him to Mike while he was in Toulouse with us... The guys was in heaven. Especially because it was a surprise... I invited these friends and his son over for a dinner, and Mike was there. You should've seen his face...

  Eric laughed

  - That was nice of you...

  They stayed quiet for a while. Eric eventually said:

  - ...Thanks for
coming here...

  - You're welcome son

  He took a while to speak again.

  - ...You know... I'm afraid I'm never going to be able to be anything more than this. Or able to promise you that we can ever go back to be a family again... And I know that that is what you really want... I can't promise you that. I can't promise you anything. Not even that things won't go back to be exactly the same...

  - I know... But we're not dead, Eric. That's enough reason to keep trying... We're not giving up on you, ok?

  He went silent for a good while.

  - I just…I have no idea what I should do, mom. But I know you guys are probably not going to approve it. I need you guys to be aware of that. You shouldn't keep expecting things from me...

  - Ok... I know son. I just want you to get well, and for you to be happy. Truly happy. Whatever it is... Just, some peace...

  Eric let his head fell down a bit. It was hurting him: His lungs were once again hurting him. His eyes were hurting. He had teary eyes because of pain and exhaustion. Where all of that had came from? When he spoke again, after what seemed forever, his voice was failing and he was feeling like he was completely drunk.

  - You guys.... you guys never asked. Not even now, for real, what happened that night. You guys never asked me if I was innocent of what happened...

  His mom was a bit in shock.

  - I always saw in your eyes the doubt about that... What are you more afraid of, mom? That I was guilty or... that I'm innocent?

  - You're my son... I did what I could at that time to protect you. I never cared about the rest, I always loved you and always wanted you around and happy.

  - So ask me then....Ask me what happened that night. I'll tell you, everything, I can promise you that...

  She was in silent, cold panic. She was afraid of really knowing what happened that night.

  Seconds went by, as Eric was re-living moments in his head like flashes and it seemed like they were going to make his head explode.

  She was breathing very deeply, facing her own demons.

  When once again, his hands were completely covered in blood, Eric completely lost control, and stood up, with all his strength, letting the covers fall and just screamed, with anger coming out of his eyes.

  - ASK ME!

  She stepped back, mute, and ended up screaming back, shaking because of fear:

  - ...W- What happened that night?

 

  With that question echoing in his head, three weeks later he went to live in Paris on Mike's place, with Mike and Isadora, with Gustavo moving from Toulouse to live with them soon after.

  He was in peace with his mother.

 

 

  PART II

  “You push away anyone who could possibly care about you.”

 

  Isadora, Mike and Eric were seating on a bench near the Notre Dame cathedral, enjoying the sun and watching people come and go, and they've been talking for a while after they've gotten there. It was around midday. Gustavo was supposed to go meet them and he was probably going to skip the rest of his classes so that he could stay with them and enjoy the rest of the day, basically doing what they have been doing until that moment: walking around.

  They offered to go pick him up at school, but he said “he had to do something” and hid whatever it was with the fakest excuse ever. Knowing him, they just didn't insist about it.

  It was by the middle of October and Paris was having an exceptionally good weather, so they were trying to be outside, on the sun, as often as possible, making picnics, going to parks, eating outside or chilling on terraces across town. Eric was delighted with the city again, now that he was chilling with his siblings (and Mike), discovering a bit of Paris that he never had the chance to: Even its touristic side.

  They were in Paris for almost three weeks now. Isabella had chosen not to go to Paris (She felt like staying a bit more with Lucas) and Eric practically hadn't speak to Marie since they were back in town.

  Gustavo ended up calling a bit later and asked them to go meet him at this particular metro station, which was not that close from where they were. Anyways, they got up and it took about fifteen to twenty minutes walking until they got there. Gustavo was waiting for them near a this big fountain, wearing his jeans that were in really bad condition, his converse in an even worse condition, his old black t-shirt, his weird backpack and with his wild blond hair.

  - Sorry made you guys come all the way here...

  - No problem, no one is in a hurry today – Isadora smiled

  - Well, I wouldn't mind eating now, as I said two seconds ago, I'm getting really hungry...

  - Sure let's go then...

  - Where?

  - What about over there? - Isa pointed to a restaurant near by

  - Nah...

  -Well, there's a McDo near here

  - No freaking way...

  - Let's go to that bistro Ile Saint Louis then...

  - We were right beside it, man...

  - Oh well, stop being lazy...

  They decided to go there but... it was completely packed, so in the end they had lunch in this Italian restaurant nearby that was almost empty.

  They left the restaurant two hours later, completely full and in peace, with big smiles on their faces, and started wandering around without any clear destination.

  Gustavo, Eric had noticed, walked in a really funny way, as like he was the chilliest guy in the world, without one single care in life. Eric couldn't help but quietly laugh about it every single time that that would caught his attention.

  They walked and walked and walked for almost three hours. They started near the Notre Dame cathedral and walked until the Eiffel tower, which is a fair long walk, with several monuments to see by the way, and several beautiful girls from everywhere around the world walking by them.

  They walked really slowly, besides the Seine and the sun, and it seemed that they would never reach the tower. Suddenly though, they were beneath her.

  There, nothing else to do but to enjoy it: walking beneath it until they decided to just sit down on the grass and chill for a while, with the tower right in front of them. Eventually they just laid down, as many people around them, and took this beautiful nap.

  There are not many greater feelings of happiness than having pure and light moments near something as beautiful as the Eiffel Tower.

  Almost an hour later, they finally stood up and left, because they all got hungry again – Yes - As they were passing beneath the Tower to go home, they saw this group dancing literally beneath the tower: it was pretty impressive. They gave some tips.

  After a quick bus ride until the Pont Neuf, they got Mike's car and went back to their place, where they all ate at once, chilled together and just waited the time to pass by.

  Gustavo sat by the table and studied for less than twenty minutes, did some sort of drafts and that was all. Then he called a girl, got Mike's car and left. He had no license, but no one said anything about it. It wasn't the first time.

  He came back a while later, completely pissed off, and just threw himself on the couch, then got one of the controllers for the video game and started to humiliate everyone else without saying a word.

  - … It's his giiirlfriend, she's a coucou – Isadora finally told Eric

 
- Very funny, sista

  No one knew what to say, to help him nor to make fun of him. His phone kept ringing.

  -...? What? I'm not gonna answer her – As everyone was staring at him.

  - Can't you just put it on mute then?

  - Why? Such a cool song: They see my rollin', they hatin' … - Started to sing it

  In the sixth time she tried calling, the song suddenly stopped. He never picked it up. He got up and went to take a shower. One after another they would go after him, because they were going out that night.

  - So tell me Gus, what did you do this time?

  - Nothing man, I swear... She's actually coucou, but don't tell Isa I told you that… - Gustavo smiled

  - So why..?

  - Oh man...you know Barney Stinson? From How I met your mother?

  - Yeaah... I guess

  - Remember the Crazy vs Hot ratio? “A girl is allowed to be crazy as long she's equally hot”?

  Eric laughed

  - So... is she equally hot?

  - No man, she actually has some credit to go. She's freakkin hot. That's why I let it slide...

  They kept laughing for a while

  - So you get girls based on Barney Stinson's advices? - Mike

  - Don't look at me with your judgmental eyes, Mike. Just because you are a freakkin virgin doesn't mean other guys don't have the balls to be awesome about girls, you know

  Eric laughed.

  - HOOOO - HO … Auch that even hurt me

  - It should've... cuz you're not that different yourself brother...

  - Whaaat?

  - Bro... If it's not based on the fact you’re a sub-celebrity – Mike had already started to laugh at this point – And the girl is not throwing herself at you, you are almost as bad as Mike around a girl.

  It was Mike's turn to laugh at Eric. Mike nodded. Eric punched Mike's arm for agreeing with his younger brother.

  When they were almost leaving, the buzzer rang: It was Gustavo's girl that was asking to talk to him. Mike kept looking at Gustavo waiting for a reaction as he was the one talking to the girl. Gustavo got a bit undecided for a second, but ended up going downstairs to talk to her. Half an hour later, they entered to the apartment together. It was kind of an awkward moment, but they seemed to be fairly well. She was freaking hot.