To the Paris of our dreams

by Tomas Goncalves

Eric gave him a little punch on his arm.

  - Dude, we're starting from zero for you if we have to. But we need you... We never did that for money remember? It has to be bigger than that. We make our dreams come true, money is consequence... Remember that? You told me that, when we were starting our band.

  - … Yeah. I remember that. Things changed since then, no? - He gave a very tired smiled.

  - Hell yeah... But we can't forget that again. We almost lost our band because we forgot that. And I guess we were so fucking greedy with the festival that we came back to bite us in the ass... Let's not make the same mistake again, please?

  - But … Ah, fuck man, this is so messed up...Your parents had to sell a house. A fucking house, to be able to help with this whole situation.

  - … They didn't have to. They wanted to. Maybe you should look at it through the perspective that my parents actually sold a house because they believe in you. Because they believe in us, hun? A fucking house, man. They sold a fucking house to make sure we have a shot on making this dream become reality - Eric smiled – And for all that matters, I would have sold my own house for you, if I had one... - They both smirked -... Listen, you gotta let us help you, Mike. You have me, Tom, Marie, my parents, we are all willing to buy parts of the school to help you raise some capital, man. And borrow you some money for a couple of months... And work at the school for eighty hours a week again if you ask us to.

  - I know dude, but I really... Ah, I almost feel like you guys are having to... It's like I'm making you guys lose all this money to get me out of this mess I've put myself into.

  - Mike... - Eric sighed – We are not trying to lose money, we are trying to help you, by borrowing you some money, by investing in something that we all believe in. We all believe in your school, and in the festival and in everything. We're doing that because we are sure its good business, you should feel honored – He smiled at Mike

  Mike eventually smiled back.

  - It's just cuz... You don't get it, Eric. Neither one of you really does – Mike sighed – You guys always seems to have had money, just like that. And... I know you don't do that to be mean, or anything, but... I wish I really didn't need your help. It really hurts having to sit through a meeting with people talking about my financial situation and see who can help me financially, after everything we've been through, after all we have worked.... You don't think you really get it. Marie doesn't get it. Tom doesn't get it. Your siblings don't quite get it... My parents were teachers, Eric. You know that. You know we never had money laying around... We always suffered a bit, you remember, no? - Eric said he did – And... Yeah. I'm not saying any of this to offend you, or because I'm jealous. I just need you to understand why I've been trying so hard to deal with that by myself. Why I didn't want you guys on this mess with me... What... What it means to me, you know? - He sighed - It’s just because when you guys talk about money, like it’s no big deal for you to help me with this huge amounts of money... It makes me feel like a piece of shit, honestly. I know Marie's parents could help me with it if she asked them, no biggie. I know your parents could help me if it was a life or death situation. I know that... You understand my point? I'm not sure if I do... - Mike smirked

  - Hmm... I guess... Yeah, maybe – Eric sighed – But, really... I think we do, bro. And I think you're not getting our side, either. We're not giving up on you, man.

  Mike took a deep breath.

  - … I guess... I just wish I hadn't made so many mistakes, that's all... I feel so stupid, bro.

  Eric almost laughed.

  - Yeah, you're the one to talk, right? ...I guess it's hard to have a saint like me by your side hun?

  Mike couldn't help but laugh when Eric punched his shoulder again as a joke. Eric then said, remembering something his mom had told him once:

  - We're not dead yet. That's enough reason to keep trying, ok?

  Mike thought for a second and then nodded.

  - Ok...- He paused – Ok.... Yeah.

  They still talked for a long time, but just like that, after a long and honest conversation, Eric and Mike held their heads up and went back to the fight that was waiting for them outside that apartment.

 

  “- So, I called all of you guys here today to give a little feedback of what happened in the last few months.

  First of all, let me tell you it’s amazing to be able to look at you guys and know your names and have actually shared such a good moment of my life with you. These last months were incredible, especially for all the passion that I saw in this school and in the festival we were able to make. Teachers, assistants, employees, anyone related to our school or festival...students. Thank you so much for being here today.

  It's very rewarding to look back and remember all of it: the good moments but also the tiring moments. The stress, the pressure, all the moments that we felt like we were going to punch each other... - Eric smiled, as some of the people laughed -

  And... Yeah, we did something truly remarkable here. - He looked at Mike, by his side, and then looked back to everyone that was sitting in front of them in the auditorium. He cleared his throat -

  Truth is, when Mike told me about his plans, I … I actually didn't even have a memorable reaction, I just thought “oh ok” … You know. It didn't move me at all.

  But then Paris became my home, somehow. And Mike helped us a lot, in all possible ways, as many of you must know. He opened the doors of this school and... Well, from something that at first I didn't put much faith on, it became something interesting, then kind of a hobby, then finally a job that I did with all my heart, as a way of giving a bit back of all the support I received from all of you here in Paris.

  Today I understand his dream, and I'm truly proud to be able to see in every one of you, in your eyes, the gratitude and love everyone feels for this place and for this group of such awesome people... A place where we can believe in our dreams and just try to make them real, and yes... I know how cliché that sounds... - He smiled -

  But now I understand what he wanted to create here.

  … And you know, I've never cared much about any city, maybe just a couple of them, I guess. But Paris has always been a special place for me... I've met Marie here... - He paused for a moment and smiled at her - … and it's ironic that after all that happened, Mike ended up coming here too, as did my siblings.

  What I'm trying to say is: no city, no place in the world means anything without people. Without dreams, without fun, without memories. Without an actual place you can feel like home.

  And we built it. We built it... We created this city the way it is to us, fighting for ours projects, our ideals, and for our dreams. A dream that it was initially only Mike's, but now I see it's from all of us. Our Paris. Our home. In this messed up continent, in this messed up country … - He smiled -

  This school became... so much more than just a music school... It became something that we will always have in our memories and to which we'll always fight for: With all the fear that we've been seeing lately, this place kindly give us hope.

  … All of that being said, I'd like to thank you all once more, and I also would like to ask a round of applause for all of you guys, especially to Mike and the way he inspired us to build all of this. To the Paris of ours dreams...”

 

 

  Mike and Eric eventually had a meeting with Tom, Marie and Eric's dad and his assistant. His dad's assistant was starting to take care of Eric's personal finances on top of everything else.

 
Eric, who rarely did any kind of financial transactions, felt as rarely before, the power of his own money. Eric lent Mike some money (money he had refused to give the journalist to hide his past from the world) Tom lent him a bit of money, and Eric's parents also lent Mike an amount that could've bought them a fancy new car... Maybe two.

  Eric and Marie both decided to invest some money they had on the school (Marie had borrowed some money from her parents), becoming minor partners in the cultural center. They all signed contracts and Mike, staying as the main owner and the person in charge of the whole cultural center, had found himself in a way better position where he could start to breathe again...

  Financial transactions done, signatures and more signatures, contracts and more documents to sign and the school and/or the apartment was basically out of danger. Or, putting in better terms, Mike was out of danger, for a good while. Simple as that.

  After a couple of meetings, they reached some decisions on several matters: His dad's assistant was going to manage the whole financial part for the school / festival, and would be the second in command in the whole cultural center – so she would have to move to Paris soon – Isabella would start working in the financial department of the school in a couple of months (after spending that much time in the north, and then between cities, she decided it was time to go back to “civilization” for good ) and they even hired a couple of very competent people to work with them. So, finally they would have a financial department as competent and big as needed to deal with the cultural center and the next festival they would try to make. Tom said himself he would probably be on top of the organization for the next festival, so that was some good news.

  After another meeting with Eric, his own assistant, and their whole family, Eric's father said he was going to try to retire somewhere over the next three years - as soon as his assistant and the other directors were ready to manage their company and the cultural center being back on its feet – And everyone started to get really excited about the future again.

  With all of that happening, they started to get even more excited with the prospect of another festival because now even Tom was interested in investing his own money on the project. Tom actually took very personally and very seriously the responsibility of making the next festival give as much profit as possible to help Mike, Eric and Marie. Also, because obviously he wanted to start making some money again.

  Eric's dad went to talk to Eric and made him realize that they had a bit more than a-one-month-window if Eric wanted to go and enjoy his beach house in Brazil one last time before the new people would move in.

  Eric got really anxious about that possibility, so he decided to go and talk to Marie. She helped him realize it was time: It was time to visit his country again. Time to go and tell his story to Alice. Time to go and face the last of his demons.

  For a couple of weeks, they kept working incessantly in everything related to the school and also in the new material that they were finally being able to create. They were getting back on track, and that alone would have been worth it all.

  Tom was giving an insane help with everything, and now that he was finally getting better from his misery, he was helping Eric do the “impossible”: re-assemble his band, friends and his family. They were making so much material with Tom and Mike's help that it was insane: It got to a point that Liam and Jack had to go meet them in Paris to be part of what they were creating. Eric and Tom asked Marie to show them some material she had, and they gave her complete freedom to create new material: That would mean she didn't have to try to create material that would “fit the band's reputation”, and she indeed had some incredible material hidden away. With the “permission from everyone” she put her heart and soul on it to make the best job she could - it was just amazing – After all, Marie was a great songwriter and one of the people who was channeling all that energy and creativity, and they were more than happy to have her back in the studio, working with them.

  She had definitely reached a new level after so many months of hard work on her music, and everyone couldn't have been more surprised.

  In fact, everyone was doing an incredible job, and once again it seemed like they were getting back into that madness at school, at home, trying to socialize and making that school to be what it was always meant to be.

  So Eric finally reached the point where he would have to go to his old beach house with Alice, otherwise the opportunity would be gone, and everyone told him that he should just go: They could handle it for a couple of weeks.

  They would just keep doing what they were doing and they would get his back while he would do what he had to do.

  And so he went.

  Eric felt really weird arriving in Brazil after all those years: He had the bizarre feeling that the country didn't stop in time as he thought it might had happened.

  How he was afraid that could've happened.

  Life went on without him around there.

  There was basically no one that he could visit. He would stay at his place with Alice living at a walking distance, both of them living near the beach.

  He had really strong feelings in the first days. Everything made him remember of something, bringing back really old memories.

  Seemed like everything was special, it was strange: To step out of the airport, see his old house, see his old city. Getting used to go to the beach near his house again, to remember his city, and remember his own language.

  During the first days, he visited everything he could, as a tourist, rediscovering his own city.

  Alice was with him when he visited his old high school, and every day they had the chance, they went to that beach. Some days were blessed with an incredible weather, some others there was a rain that would last three or four days, leaving them bored and changing the feeling of the trip. But it was ok. That was their city.

  He met Alice's friends, her parents, her house, her dance company and even her university (where Eric had partied like crazy with Samuel and Isabella several times, but where he had never had the chance to study)

  It was so weird for him to leave Paris and go back to that city. Everything there was just so beautiful and there have been years that Eric seemed to have forgot it. He had left on him almost exclusively bad memories about that city.

  … And you wouldn't believe how much they talked those days, while they went to pubs, beaches, movies, parks, and parties... everything they could've done to have fun.

  When Eric finally went to visit Samuel's grave, and the place where all of that had happened, Alice realized it was time.

  She grabbed a recorder, her notebook, some paper, pens. She was well prepared.

  Eric thought he would only tell his story, but he had to face a three-hour day routine with the deepest search of himself that he had ever done. She asked for memories, details, feelings, dreams, thoughts, regrets, prejudices, fears and everything else while she was listening and making questions more and more intimate and intimidating. It was a torture in the beginning, but eventually he realized he was happy about all of that: It was helping him remember and understand his own life better.

  He would get physically exhausted when he was done, especially on some hard days where they were seating really close to each other and for some reason she would insist to look deep into his eyes while they were talking.

  Most of the times, after those sessions, they would go to the beach and stay in silence for a long time, recovering from the entire story they had listen and/or shared. They were both pretty grateful for being there, doing what they were doing, and they knew it was an im
portant moment in both of their lives. A turning point.

  In a weird way, Eric was feeling like he needed a book from her to show his family and his friends who he truly was. To tell them exactly what had happened in his life and who he had become. He needed to start fresh.

  They had several “sessions” over the days and for a couple of times, when something really hard would come to the surface, he actually had tears wanting to roll over his face. Once again it became pretty clear how well Alice got to know and understand Eric.

  - I just think it’s funny, because you decided to start to tell me your story when you've met Marie, Eric. Didn't you notice that? - She smiled - You think there's no reason at all for that? I didn't ask you anything like that...

  Eric didn't say anything for a moment.

  - I guess we all go back to our beginnings, eventually...

  He then grabbed a piece of paper where he had written that special dream he had months before and showed her. She read it silently. He started talking:

  - I guess I was in a weird place before meeting her, for a while actually. Like I was numb from life. I didn't feel like I was truly living, you know?

  -Yeah, I understand that... - She paused for a second – Hey, can I use this? I really like this dream, it's very poetic - She smiled at him

  He nodded.

  - I don't need to tell you how much it meant to me, right?

  - For sure... - She paused for a moment – Hey, You’re young, Eric. We all are. If you feel so tempted to fight like that for someone right now, maybe it means something. Maybe it is meant to be forever, maybe it's not... But in any case, there's not much story left anyways, and I could definitely use a closure from you, at least so we can have a poetic ending – Alice winked at him and they couldn't help it but to laugh a bit.