Her Airman

by Allyson Lindt

  “Would you do it again?”

  “No.” The answer hit Zane hard. Despite the phone call he placed that morning, he couldn’t, and he wouldn’t.

  “Then it’s behind you, and now you live right. You let Riley help. I won’t lay a guilt trip on you about not throwing away what I gave you. It’s your life. But I will be angry if you take it for granted.”

  It wasn’t that simple. Zane didn’t have any illusions about flipping a switch and being okay with what had happened. But he couldn’t find the words to argue. “Yes, Sir.”

  They chatted for a while longer, about random banal things. The weather. Sports. Politics. But Zane couldn’t focus on the conversation. Too many thoughts warred for his attention. When he left, he felt like he had more answers and more questions than ever before.

  He did know one thing, though. He sent Sabrina a quick text as he walked back to his truck.

  My final answer’s no. Don’t ask again. At least that was one right decision.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Mother.” Riley smiled and gave her a polite hug. Nothing too tight that might wrinkle the satin of her mother’s dress or stress her skin.

  Riley relied on every ounce of willpower she had to maintain her composure for Kenzie’s wedding. It had been almost a week since she’d talked to Zane, and despite her resolution to leave him be, not seeing him made her miserable. However, she’d do almost anything for her sister, including smile and nod at each of Mother’s passive-aggressive comments.

  Her mother’s hair—blonde, like her daughters’—was piled on top of her head. She held Riley at arm’s length, gaze raking over her appraisingly. “You look good, hon. Kenzie picked a nice dress for you.”

  Riley clenched her jaw. She gave her mother a tight smile. “Thank you.”

  Mother—Riley and Kenzie weren’t allowed to call her Mom or Sharon or anything else, always Mother—smoothed something on the side of Riley’s head. “You really could have done a better job with your hair.”

  Embarrassment flooded Riley, and she hated the flush rising to her skin. “Sorry.”

  “No one will be watching you anyway.” Mother waved a hand and turned back to the bride.

  Riley sank against a nearby wall, arms crossed over her chest.

  “Don’t slouch, hon.” Her mother never looked up as she moved the flowers woven through Kenzie’s hair a fraction of an inch. “Do I get to meet your date?”

  Riley’s gaze met Kenzie’s in the mirror, and Kenzie gave her an apologetic half-smile. Riley loved her mother dearly, but at times like this, she remembered exactly why she’d gone to live with her father after her parents’ divorce, when she and Kenzie were in their late teens.

  “Riley’s a strong, independent woman,” Kenzie said. “She doesn’t need a date to attend a wedding.”

  Mother’s sniff said she felt otherwise. She turned her attention back to Riley. “Maybe your sister can hook you up with one of the groom’s guests. He seems like he knows a number of respectable people.”

  Riley bit back her snort, trying to keep her dry amusement off her face. She knew she didn’t completely succeed. “Maybe.” The majority of Scott’s friends made Riley’s look positively uptight by comparison.

  Shaking her head, Mother peeked outside at the guests streaming into the wedding hall. “At least you didn’t bring one of those boys who treats you like one of them.”

  Riley’s gut clenched at the reminder of Zane and Archer. Mostly of Zane.

  “Mother, will you grab my shoes?” Kenzie asked.

  “Of course, dear.” Mother looked at Riley again. “There’s a handsome young man out there who looks like he might be military. Maybe your sister can introduce you to him.”

  “I think they’ve met.” Kenzie stood and slipped into her heels, growing by four inches.

  Riley swallowed back the sick feeling. If the reminder of Zane didn’t hurt so much, she might tell Mother that’s who she was talking about. She’d seen him come in, and that he looked incredible in his tux was one thing she agreed with her mother about.

  A knock interrupted the interrogation. “Are you ladies decent?”

  Riley yanked open the door enough to let her father in.

  He threw his arms around her, lifted her in a bear hug, and squeezed her. “Hey, baby.”

  “Daddy.” At least there was some comfort there.

  He started toward Kenzie, pausing when Mother glared at him. Instead of hugging her tight, he settled for a kiss on the cheek. “You both look lovely.”

  The organ music started. Mother extracted herself from the group, shooting one last glare at Riley and her father. “Make sure my baby girl makes it to the altar okay.”

  “It’s a room away, Sharon. They’ll both survive.”

  Mother didn’t look as though she believed him but left to lead the wedding procession.

  Riley grabbed her sister’s hands, looking back at that mirror image. She forced her own grief aside and gave Kenzie a genuine smile. “I’m really happy for you.”

  Kenzie grinned back. “Thanks.”

  Riley squeezed one last time, before letting go, to take her place in line where she’d fall into step next to the best man. “See you on the other side.”

  ZANE FOUND A WALL AWAY from everyone and leaned against it. He tilted his head back, studying the ceiling. When he closed his eyes, the afterimage of lights danced with women in taffeta and men dressed like penguins. He sighed and straightened.

  Focusing on the reception again, he let his gaze trip across faces. So many were familiar. He was glad most of them already said their awkward welcome backs, told him he looked good, and moved on. Kenzie and Scott stood at the far end of the room, shaking hands and accepting congratulations. Zane had been near them long enough to know some were sincere and some were obligatory, and that Kenzie kept a quiet but tight leash on them, making sure they all came off sounding the same.

  He knew there were unwritten rules about the bridesmaid not looking as good as the bride, but if it hadn’t been for the subtle but constant cloud of depression hanging over Riley, she would have stolen the night, even though the two women were technically identical. Then again, maybe he was biased.

  Ignoring Riley was destroying him, but he was determined not to break.

  Someone stopped behind her. Archer stood close, hand resting on her arm. She bent her head to his and responded to something he said.

  Zane knocked back the rest of his punch. Time to check out the bar. He pushed away from the wall, looking anywhere but at the wedding line.

  He ordered bourbon, neat, and shuffled back into the crowd. At least at a party this big, it wasn’t too hard to lose himself, except the crowds thinned as the night wore on. Why was he sticking around? Probably because he hadn’t convinced himself not to talk to Riley. Failed to ignore the desire to see if she wanted to hang out... Or more. He glanced back toward where the wedding party had been, but they’d dispersed.

  He almost turned away again, before he caught a glimpse of movement in the dark, several feet back. Unmistakably Riley and Archer, standing near each other, away from anyone else. Talking.

  It was time for him to take off. He spun to leave.

  “Watch out.” A pair of hands clasped his shoulders, jarring him to a stop.

  Fuck. He wasn’t in the mood for this.

  “You know”—Scott nodded at Zane’s untouched drink—“if you don’t want that...”

  Zane shoved the bourbon in his direction. “Help yourself.”

  “Not for me.” Scott tugged Kenzie closer, his arm wrapped around her waist. “I need something to ply the bride with, for our honeymoon.”

  Disgust crawled through Zane. This guy was worse than he thought.

  Kenzie rolled her eyes, took the drink from him, and set it on a nearby table. “He’s yanking your chain. Give me some credit.”

  “I knew that,” Zane mumbled. “Again, you look beautiful.” He squeezed Kenzie’s fingertips. “Congratulat
ions one last time, before I bolt for the night.”

  “Thanks, and we’re doing the same real soon.” Kenzie pretty much glowed.

  “Handsome, upstanding military man like you, leaving alone?” Scott elbowed him.

  The dig hit exactly the wrong nerve. “Yes.” Zane’s tone was flat.

  “Didn’t mean to imply anything.” Scott held up his hands. “I’ve got a programmer who’s been eying you all night. If he’s more your type...”

  Zane stared at him, irritation kicking into overdrive. “I’m fine, thanks.”

  “He knows exactly who you’ve got your eye on,” Kenzie interjected. “He’s trying to poke holes in who you are and find your weak spots.”

  “I’m... being trolled? Are you six?” Zane shifted his weight and crossed his arms. Though he couldn’t beat the other man when it came to muscle bulk, he had at least a couple inches on him and wanted to make it clear he wasn’t backing down.

  Scott smirked. “Only on my best days.”

  “You have five minutes.” Kenzie kissed Scott on the cheek and melted back into the crowds.

  “Yes, Ma’am.” Scott paced a few feet, his gaze following the crowds, before he turned back to face Zane. “You must be something pretty special.”

  Zane’s gut sank when he realized he was facing Riley again. She wasn’t tucked into the dark corner anymore, but she was still talking to Archer. Her arms were crossed, but they stood close. He needed to leave.

  He forced his attention back to Scott. “I have a feeling this line of conversation is a barrel of chuckles for you, but it’s getting old for me.” Part of Zane knew he was being rude. Most of him didn’t know if it mattered or even if he cared.

  “You never called.” Scott rested a hand on his arm.

  Zane stepped away, brows raised. “You were expecting me to? It was just dinner.”

  Scott laughed. “Nice. Very clever. I’ll try this a different way, since the business card didn’t clue you in. I know who you are.”

  “I’m a friend of your wife’s.” He hated that was all he felt comfortable saying. For so long he’d almost felt like family, and now he was relegated to bride’s guest and nothing more.

  “Keep telling yourself that’s all, but it won’t make it any truer.” Scott loosened his tie. “But I was talking about The Taurus.”

  Jesus. Zane wasn’t as willing to own the pseudonym as he had been with Mikki. She’d been in awe. Who the fuck knew what Scott was thinking? “That’s supposed to mean something to me?”

  “You’re not what I expected.” Scott rocked on the balls of his feet, occasionally obstructing the view of Riley and Archer. “I mean, the abrasive attitude and arrogance makes sense, but I thought I’d get a lot more ego and bragging from the guy who used to practically paint forums with his name and antics.”

  Had Riley really talked about him that much? The thought would have warmed him if he couldn’t see her in the background, relaxing. “That was a persona. Besides, I’ve grown up.”

  “I hope not too much.” Scott snapped his fingers. “Am I boring you?”

  Zane tried to keep an eye on Riley and participate in the conversation at the same time. “I’m fine. Didn’t you have a time limit?”

  “Right. Seven years ago, you hacked our security and released a moderately intensive demo of our game to the public six weeks early.”

  Oh yeah. That had been one of his favorites. Shit. Scott’s company name had been different back then, but Zane should have known it was familiar. “That was you? Um... oops?” That wasn’t really the most sincere apology he could have come up with. Did he care? Not unless Scott was going to press charges, and for as much as the guy seemed like an ass, Zane didn’t think that was too likely. “I was a kid. I didn’t know any better.”

  “You were in your early twenties. Old enough to drink and vote. Not quite a kid.” Scott’s expression was laced with a smile still, no irritation present. “I don’t want an I’m sorry. It was some of the best publicity we ever had. It put us on the map.”

  “You’re welcome?”

  Scott shrugged and looked over his shoulder, following Zane’s continuously drifting line of sight. “She looks good, doesn’t she?”

  Zane shook his head and tore his gaze away from Riley. Mostly. “I suppose.”

  “Even if you hadn’t spent the entire time I was here staring at her, I wouldn’t be arrogant enough to think I looked better than she does.” Scott glanced at his watch. “I have less than a minute, so I’ll make this fast. It was good publicity then. The Internet works differently now, and something like that could topple us. I need someone on board who can keep someone like you from doing it again. The job is yours if you want it.”

  Zane was now ninety-nine percent focused on the conversation. “Wait. What?”

  “You heard me.”

  That had been one of the biggest hacks he’d ever done, not because of the attention it garnered, but because it had been a challenge. Regardless of how conceited this jackass was, Zane was being offered a chance to do it again, but better, and for money. One thing held him back. “I don’t take pity jobs.”

  Scott’s laugh drew a couple of stares from people nearby. “Pity? I must not have groveled enough. Or did you miss the genuine awe? I’m a hundred-percent serious.”

  Zane stalled on his response, not sure what to say. The offer sounded real, but part of him couldn’t accept it. “Why would I work for you?”

  “Probably not for the money, though I promise the paycheck is worth it, and you won’t mind the signing bonus. Maybe because you know it will be a challenge. Or, if that’s not enough, because it gives you a chance to put me in my place, by poking holes in my security.”

  Take it, take it, take it. His stubborn streak won out. “Still not convinced.”

  “I’ll be back in two weeks. You have until then to decide.”

  “Right. I’ll be in touch,” Zane replied, faster than he meant to. He wanted this. He wasn’t going to bluff himself out of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. “You already know I’m going to say yes, don’t you?”

  Scott’s grin widened. “Let’s just say I hoped. Two weeks, we’ll negotiate. Make sure you can at least buy my baby sister the ring she deserves.”

  Zane’s temper rose again. “Not your decision, probably not my job, and realistically doesn’t look like it’s happening any time soon.”

  “Right. Keep lying to yourself.”

  “Why are you so focused on my relationship with Riley?” Zane raised his voice and winced, drawing his emotions back under a tight leash when a few more nearby heads turned. Fortunately, the party had thinned considerably, and the band was still loud enough that not a lot of people heard.

  “She means the world to Kenzie. So in turn, she means the world to me.”

  Zane gritted his teeth. “You don’t have any idea what that means.”

  “Really? You’re going to tell me on my own wedding day that I don’t know what love is? I’m not getting into that pissing match.” Scott extended his hand. “I won’t mention her again. Call me in two weeks.”

  Zane reluctantly shook his hand and nodded over Scott’s shoulder. “Thing is, it doesn’t matter how I feel if she doesn’t feel the same.”

  Riley was pushing out a side door with Archer, the two standing close, heads bowed together.

  Scott’s smirk faded for the first time that night. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. Enjoy Cancun.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Zane lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as the morning light crested the mountains. It was still dark outside, but the first glow of early morning creeped across the valley. He rubbed his dry eyes and blinked, trying to find some moisture somewhere. He rolled his head to the side, and the red numbers on his clock glared back at him. Almost seven. Apparently he wasn’t going to sleep any time soon.

  He kicked out of bed and pulled on whatever was nearby. A pale-gray business card winked back at him from its isolate
d spot on the edge of the coffee table. At least something good had come out of the night before, even though he couldn’t find an ounce of enthusiasm for it.

  He still didn’t know what to do about Riley. The sleepless night, combined with watching her buddy up to Archer, had destroyed his resolve to keep her at arm’s length. Granddad’s voice whispered in the back of his mind, asking if he was taking Riley’s decision from her again, like he had with her sketches. If remaining silent about the fact that he loved her was wrong.

  He grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out to his truck. He needed to make sense of the jumble of information bouncing in his skull. One thought rang true, though. He couldn’t ignore her any longer. He wanted her in his life, as more than a friend. She might no longer feel the same, after his childish efforts to scare her away, but it had to be her choice.

  He typed out a brief text message.

  I’m sorry. Give me a chance to apologize in person.

  His gut sank when he looked up and realized Archer’s car wasn’t on the street. Or in the parking lot. Or anywhere in sight. Had he really not come home the night before?

  Zane bit back his doubt and hit Send. He climbed in his truck and pulled into traffic. Habit almost made him turn toward the coffee shop where he and Riley always met, but he didn’t think he could face it that morning. He wasn’t sure which put him more on edge—that she might be there or that he might never see her there again. Instead of having to face either, he turned in the other direction, toward the other side of town.

  Twenty minutes later, he found a seat in the back of a coffee shop filled with eclectic décor. The place had been designed to look random and hip, but every single piece of art, catchy phrase, and polka dot on the walls and furniture was strategically placed. He cringed at the cold feeling of the place, watching people come and go. No one stuck around for longer than it took to get their drinks. This wasn’t the kind of place where people hung out. They were only there for the label on the cup.