by Emma Louise
“And you think you’ll be able to keep your hands off her, spending so much time with her?”
“I’m not a teenager. I can control my dick, you know. And anyway, she’s not my type,” I tell him, starting to get pissed at this conversation. “Remind me again, why I invited you all over here?”
“You might not be a teenager, but you looked like you were struggling not to act like one at the baby shower,” Duke says. He’s the quiet one of the group, only speaking when he really has something to say. “I thought you were about to push her over like you were in the yard at school or something,” he adds, throwing his cards down on the table.
“I don’t know what you guys were seeing, but you’re wrong. Can we change the subject now?” I huff.
“Like you can speak,” Keir laughs at Duke. “I distinctly remember someone else acting like a lovesick fool at Pop’s first baby shower.” Duke’s face splits with a shit-eating grin before he speaks.
“Yeah”—he smirks—“that was a good day.”
“Dude, El is like a sister to me. I don’t even wanna know what has that smile on your face.” I feel my lip curl in disgust. Looking over at Keir, I see he’s wearing a similar expression.
“Welcome to my life, except Poppy actually is my sister, and I have to see that look on his face every damn time I see him.” Duke points at Keir who just grins back.
“Serious talk for a minute,” my brother says when the chuckles die down. “There’s no reason why you couldn’t pursue something with Breeze if you wanted to. She seems like a nice girl...”
“How can I go there again? With anyone? You saw the mess I was in after the whole Lucy fiasco. I can’t check out like that now that I have Abel. It’s not an option.” I hope my tone leaves no room for argument. I’m over this whole discussion.
“You think you’re the first guy to turn stupid over a woman?” Hayden asks.
“I sure as fuck did,” Keir mutters, obviously remembering the time when his life went off the rails after Poppy left him.
“Made my fair share of mistakes with El too, before I pulled my head outta my ass,” Duke chimes in.
“See, learn from their mistakes. Stay single.” Hayden holds out his hand for a high five.
“You’re an idiot,” I say before leaving the table to grab some more chips and to check Abel on the monitor. He’s back to sleeping through the night for the most part, but I keep the video monitor on anyway.
I get back to the table just in time to see Hayden scoop the poker chips from the center toward his side of the table.
“You guys are making this too easy tonight,” he gloats.
“I’m fucking beat,” Duke says, scrubbing his hands down his bearded face. “Jude is hardly sleeping. The twins are a cakewalk compared to him lately.” Duke and Elliott’s baby boy was born the same day as Abel. I was on my way to see them when Jessie saw me in the hospital hall that day. If I hadn’t been there, I might have never known Abel existed.
“I’m not looking forward to those days again.” Keir sighs. “Speaking of screaming babies, how’s Abel sleeping now?” my brother asks.
“Good. Better.” I shift in my seat, hoping he doesn’t press for details.
“What’s the secret? I need all the help I can get.” Duke leans closer, rapt attention on me, like I have the secret to world peace and I’m about to share it.
“Actually, we’re doing some baby massage stuff before bed.” I shrug like baby massage is an everyday thing.
“What the fuck is that?” Hayden asks, confusion on his face.
“Exactly what I said. He gets a bath before bed, then he lays on his mat while I do some massage and stretches with him. He goes out like a light after that.”
“So it’s like yoga? For babies?” Keir smirks. “I wonder where you could have possibly learned that? A certain pink-haired yoga instructor, maybe?”
Rolling my eyes, I grab the deck of cards, ignoring the cackles of laughter around me.
“Yuck it up, assholes.” I deal the cards. “Yes, Breeze showed me a few things,” I admit reluctantly.
“I wouldn’t say no to her showing me a few things either,” Hayden mutters.
“She’s off limits,” I spit the words out, wishing that I could take them back almost immediately when I see Hayden’s face light up.
“Off limits? Why would she be off limits?” he asks.
“I’m done discussing this with you; are we playing poker or not?” I try to deflect once again.
Thankfully they give me a break, and all talk of Breeze stops. I know they don’t mean it, but the more she’s brought up, the more fucking confused I feel.
And that confusion sticks with me for the rest of the night. Even after the guys are gone, my mind whirls with thoughts of her. I meant it when I told Keir that I’d be able to keep my hands off her. I’ve had enough self-discipline for that.
The problem is, I’m finding it harder and harder to remember why I have to keep my hands off her.
The next day I'm still distracted. Instead of focusing on the computer screen in front of me, I find my eyes keep wandering to the clock. Breeze is due down here to sit with Abel soon. My aim for today is to not be a dick to her.
The door is pushed open, and I feel myself deflate when I see it’s not Bree. It’s Lucy.
“Hey,” she says, taking the seat opposite me. “I have that revised schedule you wanted.”
She hands me a few pieces of paper before turning to make a fuss of Abel where he’s sitting in a bouncer next to me.
I scan over the changes I asked her to help me make. Changes that mean I have a reason to see Breeze more often.
“There’s a few late sessions on here, was Jonah okay with that? Can he start tonight?”
“He was fine with it. He’s desperate to get in that ring. You’ve done an amazing job with him, TJ.” One of the things that had first attracted me to Lucy was how much she loved Flex and what we do here. It might have been me and Keir to get Flex up and running, but I don’t know if we’d be half as successful if it wasn’t for Lucy. She’s here more than we are these days.
“Thanks, Luce.”
“No problem. How’s this gorgeous boy been doing?” She coos at him, causing him to kick his little legs in excitement. My kid is such a flirt.
“He’s good,” I tell her, but she’s too busy making faces at the baby to care about what I said.
“Alright. I gotta get back to work.” She stands and makes her way to the door. “Don’t forget we have that budget meeting tomorrow too,” she says, making me groan. I hate that side of owning a business.
“Do I have to be there? You and Keir make all the decisions anyway.” I sulk.
“Stop being a baby,” she laughs. “I’ll bring the coffee and donuts; you just have to show up with the company check book.”
“Alright, alright.” I sigh. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“It’s a date,” she says, laughing to herself as she goes.
When I agreed to help look after Abel, the last thing I thought I’d be doing was babysitting so that TJ could go on a fucking date.
“It’s a date.”
I felt like such an idiot, standing outside of TJ’s office about to knock on the door when Lucy walked out. My stomach dropped at the last words she said before leaving. TJ didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed; he’d just straight up asked me to watch Abel for him.
My legs peddle furiously, pumped by the anger that’s coursing through me. I'm angry at myself for being stupid enough to be attracted to him. I’m livid with myself because I was starting to think he felt something for me too.
I refuse to believe that I’m the only one who feels the chemistry that zips between us every time we’re near one another. No, he’s attracted to me just as much as I’m attracted to him. The difference is he’s ignoring it and taking someone else out on a date. Someone he has a past with.
I should cancel, leave him to find someone else to watch Abel. I wish I
was the kind of person who could do that and not die from the guilt. No, I’ll go and watch him. Smile when TJ leaves, then I’ll eat my feelings away.
By the time I’ve chained the bike up at the side of TJ’s house, I’m a sweaty mess.
Fantastic. I’m sure he’ll regret his choice not to date me when he catches sight of me like this.
This is the first time I’ve been to his house, and I’m pleasantly surprised to see how neat it is. His neighborhood is relatively new, but his house looks older than the rest. Set back slightly from the road and surrounded by trees. I can easily imagine sitting on the wide wrap-around porch. He really should get a swing out here.
I don’t make it to the front door before it swings open. My heart beats faster at the sight of TJ standing there, Abel perched on his hip. I’m surprised to see he’s not changed since I saw him a few hours ago at work. He’s in yet another tight-fitting T-shirt and running shorts, those glorious leg muscles on full display.
Thankfully, Abel squeals when he sees me, breaking me out of my greedy staring session.
“Hey,” I say on a somewhat false smile that soon fades when I see the serious look on TJ’s face.
“How did you get here?” he barks without so much as a hello first.
“Nice to see you too. Why yes, I would love to come inside.” My sarcastic side decides to show up.
“Don’t be a smartass”
“Don’t be an ass. Period,” is my not so mature response. “I rode the bike.”
“I would have picked you up,” he says, shifting to the side slightly, allowing me to walk into the open hallway. This place is stunning. It’s obviously just been renovated, everything is immaculate. My eyes work to take everything in as TJ walks toward the back of the house.
“I’m only a few blocks away, it’s good exercise.”
“Bree, you work out all day long. It’s your job.” Bree. I can’t stop the shiver I get down my spine when he says my name. A nickname that my mother used to call me. He seems just as shocked as me that it slipped out, and a faint blush lights his cheeks. The air in the room heats, and neither of us seem keen to break the moment. His gaze drops from my eyes, over my heated cheeks, and finally landing on my lips. Is he thinking about kissing me the same way I’m thinking about kissing him?
The moment is shattered when the ringing of a cell phone sounds from the side table I’m standing next to. Looking down I see the one thing I need to remind me that this man is off limits.
Lucy calling.
That’s all it takes.
TJ exhales a deep breath before he silences the call. “Come through to the kitchen. I’ve written down everything you need to know.”
The dismissal stings. Yes, I’ll definitely be eating my feelings later when Abel goes to bed.
Once TJ has shown me where everything is and explained Abel’s schedule, I take the baby from his arms expecting TJ to go get changed. Instead, he grabs a backpack from next to the door and a bunch of keys.
“I shouldn’t be too long. If there’s any issues at all, anything you need, call me.” He smooths his hand over Abel’s head just before bending to drop a kiss there too. I can easily imagine him moving to kiss me next. Of course, he doesn’t. He offers me a small smile before turning to leave.
Since he was already bathed and in his pajamas, Abel and I have spent the evening playing with his toys. Now it’s his bedtime, and I’m in a beautiful wooden rocking chair that’s set up in the corner of his nursery.
The walls are a soft sage green, there’s a beautiful hand-painted tree taking up the whole wall behind the crib, and dotted amongst the branches are photographs in all different shapes and sizes.
I recognize Poppy, Keir, and Chase in a few of them. There’s a collage frame with four different images, all of the same older couple holding who I assume is a tiny Abel. There’s no doubt these are TJ’s parents, even if I hadn’t met them at the baby shower, I’d recognize them. TJ and Keir take after their dad. He’s just an older version of them. His mother looks thrilled to be holding her grandson, and the pure joy on her face causes my chest to ache. My mom missed that. Ava had her first baby just a few years after mom died; she would have loved being a grandma. The last picture is slightly larger than the others. It’s held my attention since the second I sat in this chair thirty minutes ago. A shirtless TJ is holding a newborn Abel against his chest, wires trailing from his tiny body. His head is angled down looking at his son, but you can still see the mix of fear and wonder on TJ’s face. This family has been through so much, and seeing this picture causes my heart to squeeze.
The absence of any pictures of Abel with his mom is stark, but after stalking TJ’s social media it’s not at all surprising.
Once Abel’s eyes start to droop, I move him to his crib, laying him down and covering him with the soft blanket that’s draped over the end. According to TJ, he self-settles easily. As tempting as it is to keep a hold of him until he’s asleep, I understand that TJ needs me to keep to Abel’s routine as much as possible. He has been so well behaved all night, but even so, it hasn’t been easy. He needs a grown up for everything. TJ is doing this alone. I was already intrigued by the man, but I now have a deeper respect for him.
It’s almost ten-thirty, and I’ve eaten more pizza and ice cream than should be legal, but it hasn’t stopped my mind from wandering to thoughts of TJ and his date. Not even Dirty Dancing on the huge flat screen TV in TJ’s man cave is helping. I’m about to call Fleur just for a distraction when I hear a key turning in the front door. I can’t see it from here, and I'm suddenly terrified that he might not be alone.
Oh God!
What do I do if he brought her back here? I’m standing and straightening my clothes and hair when an exhausted looking TJ walks into the room. Dropping his bag, he moves further into the room.
“How has he been?”
“He was perfect. He ate and slept on schedule. He’s been asleep since eight-ish,” I tell him.
“Good. I can’t thank you enough for tonight. Did you eat? I didn’t think to make sure there was food here before I left, sorry.” He surprises me by collapsing onto the sofa. I expected him to show me to the door.
“I ordered a pizza; there’s plenty left if you want some?” I offer.
“Sit. Let me go grab some. Want a beer or anything?” he asks. But I'm too confused to answer. He comes back into the room, pizza box balanced on one hand, two beer bottles and two waters on top, and I'm still standing there, unsure of what to do.
“Do you have somewhere you need to be?” he asks when he sees me standing in the same spot he left me in.
“No, I just thought...”
“Sit,” he repeats, patting the sofa next to him. I know I should probably just go, but I never claimed to be sensible.
Snagging one of the waters, I take a seat a little further down the sectional.
“What are we watching?” TJ asks.
“You don’t know what this is?” I point at the screen where Patrick Swayze is in a lake, lifting Jennifer Grey above his head.
“No. Should I?”
“Dirty Dancing is a classic!” I exclaim, hand over my heart in mock shock. “It’s one of the best love stories ever told.”
“If you say so. I’ve never seen it.” He laughs at me.
“Let me guess, you’re more of an action movie kinda guy? I bet Fast and Furious is your favorite?”
TJ leans toward me ever so slightly before he answers. His words hitting me in really—really—inappropriate places.
“There’s nothing wrong with Fast and Furious occasionally.” The smirk on his face makes it obvious he’s not talking movies anymore, and I feel a deep red blush creep over my cheeks. He’s not acting like a man who’s just been on a date with another woman. Then again, he’s shown on more than one occasion he can be a dick, so maybe this is normal behavior for him.
Instead of answering, I roll my eyes and turn back toward the screen, ignoring the small chuckle tha
t comes from TJ. I keep my eyes on the movie as he finishes eating, but once he’s done, I start to feel a little awkward, unsure why I’m here still.
“How was your night anyway?” I break the silence, but really wanting to ask him where he’s been, even knowing that’s not an option.
“Good. The schedule we have Jonah on is a little crazy, but it’s always like this when a fight is on the cards.”
He’s been with Jonah? Had I been jumping to conclusions when I assumed he was going out with Lucy?
Shit.
“You’ve been training?” I ask, like the idiot I obviously am.
“Where did you think I was?” he asks, confusion on his handsome face.
“Well, when I was outside your office you and Lucy were making plans, so I assumed...” I trail off, not wanting to finish the sentence. He stares at me a beat before his head drops back on the sofa, and he lets out a loud laugh.
“I know I haven’t always been the nicest to you, but even I wouldn’t ask you to watch my son while I was out on a date.” His hand reaches toward mine where it rests between us, but I'm far enough away that just the tips of his fingers graze over the back of my hand. The touch is barely there, but I feel it everywhere. My eyes fly up to meet his. He swallows once before dropping his eyes to his hands. He leaves his fingers on me for a few more seconds before he pulls away.
“I should go,” I say quietly.
“No. You are not riding that bike at this time of night. I don’t care how close your place is, and I can’t wake Abel up to drive you.”
“I’ll just call an Uber.”
“Just stay. I’ll take you home in the morning before work.” I should tell him no thanks. I should go home and put some distance between us.
Instead, I find myself caving once again. My willpower crumbles around this man.
Before I know it, I’m being shown to a small bedroom that’s opposite TJ’s room. He leaves me alone for a minute before returning with something clutched in his hand.
“Here’s something for you to sleep in.” He places the small bundle of fabric on the bed.
