Plausibility

by Jettie Woodruff

  “I don’t want to go to school. Why won’t anyone listen to me?”

  “Oh, no, you promised me if I would be okay, you’d go.”

  Quill looked down at her puzzled. “I did not,” she denied.

  “You did to. I was out of it, but you did. I know you did. You’re going to school and doing something safe with your life. No more Law and Order shows,” she demanded.

  “Where have you been for the last nine days? I’m done with that show. I like Criminal Intent now.”

  “You are going to be a teacher like your mom, or maybe an orch dork. You could come here and play in the symphony.”

  <><><>

  Quill hated this day. It was stupid. She didn’t want to go to high school. Why hadn’t she pushed to get her license? She had to be let out by her mother. Reese ran off as soon as she was out of the car, giggly running to Lil and her other friends.

  The school was huge. She’d be lost before first period. She didn’t know anyone. She felt stupid walking down the hall alone, and then she couldn’t get the stupid locker opened. What the fuck. She knew the combination, she just couldn’t figure out the turn sequence.

  “Need some help?” Blaine smiled down at her.

  Great, just who she wanted to deal with.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  She gave Blain the number written inside her notebook and he explained the order to her. She did it herself and wouldn’t need his assistance in the future.

  “Let me see your schedule,” he requested.

  She handed it over, and watched his eyebrows rise as he studied it. “You’re pretty smart. We only have one class together,” he said, disappointed.

  “Yeah, well how about you just tell me how to get to the first one,” she retorted.

  “Homeroom, up one floor and make a right, first door on the right, and then your next one is just across the hall. I am on that floor too, first period. If I see you in the hall, I’ll direct you to your next one, and then your third period band is right down there on the left,” he pointed.

  She thanked him, deposited her things in her locker, and sighed a deep breath as she made her way to home room.

  Mrs. Martin made a big fuss about her in front of the entire class, asking her how she was, how she was transitioning, being back with her family, and about the request to be called Quill rather than her given name.

  Shut the fuck up, stupid bitch. Quill stood there, answering her questions with one word, wanting the fuck away from her. She didn’t look toward the class full of quiet eyes studying her and stared at her new boots. Big Mouth Martin finally pointed to the only empty seat in the back of the room, right next to a girl who knew only the color black. Even her hair was as black as black could be. Her eyes were thickened with black eye shadow. Her jeans, which Quill could tell were baggy, were black; her tight t-shirt was black with a lighter shade of black, and the tattoos running up her arm were black. Great.

  “Whisper,” the girl spoke, leaning over to her desk as she sat.

  “Excuse me?” Quill questioned. Was she telling her to whisper? The girl was whacked. She wasn’t even talking.

  “The name, its Whisper,” she said, introducing herself.

  “Oh, sorry, Quill.”

  “Quill? Cool name. Where’d you get it?”

  Fuck. Please shoot me now….

  “It was just given to me. I don’t know.”

  “You know the quill is the strongest part of a bird. Without a strong quill, a bird couldn’t fly,” she offered.

  It didn’t sound weird when Seri had told her that same thing, but this girl was just fucking creepy. Quill didn’t reply, and only smiled, glad that the teacher had started talking and taking names.

  First period was no better. She only saw two other students from her homeroom and endured the whispers and stares of the kidnapped girl. This fucking sucked.

  Band was her favorite. The class ended way too soon. She still kept to herself and was a little bored at what the band teacher was teaching, but nonetheless, it was her favorite so far.

  She was surprised when she went to fourth period, advanced calculus, to see Whisper in that class. She would have never guessed. Whisper waved her arm for her to join her in the back of the class. Could she pretend not to see her and take the empty seat right in front? No. She was too afraid of being called on during class. She didn’t want that. She was drawing enough attention just being the kidnapped girl from the television.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” Whisper asked.

  “Oh, it’s going,” Quill replied in a dreadful tone, taking the unwanted seat next to her unwanted friend.

  “I’d like to tell you it gets better, but it doesn’t. This fucking place reeks with upper-class snobs,” she explained.

  Quill laughed a little. She hadn’t heard anyone use her language, except Seri of course.

  Quill sat alone outside during lunch. Reese texted and ask how things were going. She lied and said fine. She suffered the sexy smiles and stares from Blain during English class and rushed out ahead of him as soon as the bell rang. She hated school. What was she thinking when she longed to go to a school just like that growing up?

  By the end of the day she was agitated, bored, fed up with the constant kidnapping questions and just wanted the hell out of the brick building.

  She blew out a disgusted breath of air when she was finally set free for the day. Reese had to stay after school for cheerleading practice and her mother wasn’t there to get her. Monica stood leaned against her car with her arms crossed and a smile.

  Fuck. She should have known Monica would want to have a session after being in a real school for the first time in her life.

  “Hi, how was your first day?”

  “Hey, Mo. It fucking sucked, and that’s putting it mildly,” she assured her, throwing her backpack to the back seat.

  “Want to go to the park and talk?” Monica asked, moving behind the wheel.

  “Only if you have a big fat one for me,” Quill countered.

  “How about a big fat lip?”

  “You have to have something, Mo. I’m not kidding. If ever I needed it, it’s now.”

  “Was it really that bad?”

  “Do you have anything on you or not?” Quill asked, annoyed, reverting her question.

  “No, and I wouldn’t give it to you if I did.”

  “How’s Seri?” Quill wanted to know, giving up on the whole concept of getting stoned.

  “She’s doing well. I was just over there this morning. She looks good, starting to go a little stir crazy, I think.”

  “Did you know about her and my dad?”

  “Yes. She talked to me about it. She wanted to tell you, Quill. She was going to tell you. She was pissed at me for just dropping you off that night and letting you find out that way. How do you feel about that?”

  What the fuck was her problem? Why did everything have to be about feelings? Feelings had nothing to do with anything. It was fucking life. Like it or not.

  “I feeeeeeeeeel like you ask about my feeeeeeeelings way too much,” Quill smartly explained.

  “It’s what I do. Are you upset about the relationship between your dad and Seri?”

  “No, I’m not, I don’t give a shit what either of them do,” she snapped. She really didn’t want to do this now. She was okay with the relationship between her dad and Seri. She wasn’t at first. She felt like he was taking Seri from her, but she was fine with it now. They truly were in love. Quill could tell. That didn’t change the fact that she didn’t need to talk about everything.

  “We need to talk about the shooting, Quill,” Monica guaranteed.

  Quill closed her eyes and rolled her neck, trying to relieve the stress from her day and now from Monica.

  “Fine, Monica. Let’s fucking talk about the shooting. What would you like to know? Would you like for me to tell you about my feeeeeeeelings…..”

  “Well aren’t you just a barrel full of meanness today.”
/>   “I’m sorry. I wish you would have called. I really don’t feel like doing this today,” Quill apologized. She didn’t mean to be nasty to Monica. She just wanted to go home to her room and block out the entire day.

  “Fine, we won’t talk about anything today. Let’s go find something to eat, and we’ll just hang out for bit.”

  Aquilla agreed. She didn’t want to do that either, but found it best just to appease her so she would take her home and leave her the hell alone.

  The first day of school turned into the first week. Quill didn’t like it any more than the first day. She hated it. She was bored out of her mind. The work was too easy. Nothing held her attention and she even hated band. The teacher never did get to anything more challenging. She dropped out after the first week and took up another boring study hall instead. Mr. Debias begged her to stay in his class. He had never had so much talent in his class in all his years of teaching. She declined. She wasn’t one to be persuaded into doing things she didn’t like to do.

  Whisper continued to try and be her friend, and Aquilla continued to ignore her as much as possible. It didn’t work. The only things the two of them had in common were they were both loaners and tended to stick to themselves.

  Aquilla walked out to the courtyard for lunch two weeks into school. She didn’t care that the air had taken a sudden turn and it was cold. She needed that time to get away from all the immaturity and, of course, Blain. The guy couldn’t take a hint.

  Aquilla noticed Whisper walking off school property toward a patch of trees. She wondered what she was up to and why she was going into the woods. Should she follow? Fuck no. She didn’t care. However, her curiosity got the best of her.

  “Hey, Whisper!” she called

  Whisper shushed her and waved her to follow. Quill did.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, walking to a clearing where Whisper sat on a log.

  “I’m going to fucking burn one before I have to deal with the rest of this day,” Whisper assured her.

  Fucking A. “You smoke?” Quill asked.

  “How the fuck do you think I tolerate this place?” she asked, taking the little ivory bowl from her bag.

  “You’re going to share right?” Quill hoped.

  “I knew you were a stoner,” Whisper alleged.

  Quill only smiled and sat beside her. Whisper ended up packing the bowl twice before they felt they had enough. Okay. Quill liked Whisper. She was officially her new best friend. They were laughing about people in their classes, teachers, lunch food, and even Blain, the star quarterback.

  “That boy has been sniffing you since you came here,” Whisper claimed.

  “He has been sniffing me ever since the day my little sister brought him to our house. Yuck. I would never touch that shit.”

  “Are you a virgin?” Whisper asked.

  Quill laughed. Weed always made her laugh. “No, are you?”

  “No, but I’ve never been with any of these loser.”

  “Oh yeah? Where do you hang out if you don’t hang out with kids from school?”

  “The yard.”

  “The yard?” Quill asked with raised eyebrows.

  “Yeah, let’s ditch the rest of the day. I’ll show you.”

  Quill was sure this was going to award her an extra session with Monica, a call from her dad, a lecture from her mother, and a bitch fest with Seri. She didn’t care. She was happy to ditch West Field High.

  “Okay,” Quill agreed. “Are we walking?”

  “Fuck no. I drive, but we have to hurry before the bell rings.”

  They gathered their things and Quill followed her to her….Her what!! Her BMW?

  “This is your car?” Quill asked.

  “Yeah,” Whisper modestly replied.

  Quill got in and Whisper sped away.

  “Can you get me some of that?” Quill asked.

  “You got money?”

  “Yeah, if you stop by my house.”

  “I can do that, and yes I can get it for you. I’ll introduce you to Sed. He’s my go to guy.”

  Quill was suddenly a lot happier. Her only regret was the fact that she had blown this girl off for two weeks.

  Quill ran into her house and took a crisp one hundred dollar bill from her hiding place. She took the steps two at a time, crumpling the bill up as she descended.

  The yard happened to be a junk yard. Whisper drove them deep into the piles of rubbish to the far corner. It was a tin building or garage or something, Quill wasn’t sure what it was.

  “Girl, you daddy gonna tan your hide,” a guy wearing all black too assured her.

  “Yeah, whatever, this is my friend Quill,” she introduced.

  “This that girl you been talking about, the kidnapped one,” he alleged.

  Sed needed a good dose of English lessons. He too was covered in tattoos, wore a loop in his eyebrow and a barbell in his tongue. Quill couldn’t help but notice the tattoo of the feather going up the inside of his arm. It had writing under it but she couldn’t tell what it said. She wanted a closer look.

  Quill hung out in the dirty building for about an hour before her phone was ringing. Mom flashed across her screen. She was expecting it. She was sure the school had called her.

  “I’m fine. I just needed to get out of there,” Quill answered.

  “Quill, you can’t just leave school. There are procedures. Where are you?”

  “Just hanging out with a friend, I’m sorry, I couldn’t take it anymore. I’ll be home by the time you are.”

  “This can’t happen again, Quill. Conner saved you from three days of detention. He told the principle that you were sick.”

  “I don’t need Conner to lie for me. I can handle my own affairs.”

  “Quill, I am a teacher. I work for this district. I can’t be getting calls like this. I don’t want you skipping school. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yeah, sure, I’ll see you later.”

  Quill spent the afternoon with her two new friends. They sampled the weed that she would be taking home from Sed. She, of course, laughed more than any normal person, and was glad that she stopped being prejudice and decided to hang out with Whisper.

  “Where’d you get your tattoo, Sed?” she finally asked.

  “All of ‘em comed from Sam, he the best around.”

  “Can I see the one on your forearm?” she asked.

  Sed held out his arm as she studied it. She had to have one. No doubt about it, she needed a quill embedded permanently in her skin. The words that she couldn’t make out before said, “I am, I simply am.”

  “Whose Sam?” she wanted to know. Sam needed to tattoo her body.

  “He’s in your Current Affairs class,” Whisper offered.

  She knew who he was. He too was covered in tats. “You think he’ll give me one?”

  “He would love to. He gonna open up his own shop in LA, soon as he graduate,” Sed explained.

  “Come around on Saturday. I’ll give him a call,” Whisper said.

  “Can you pick me up?” Quill asked. She knew her mother would never drop her off at this junk yard for the day. She would have to lie to her about her whereabouts.

  <><><>

  Aquilla was pissed the next day at school. Whisper had gotten three days detention. She wanted the detention too. She would have rather been there than sitting alone outside. She tried to stay in the lunch room one day, but Blain decided to sit with her. She couldn’t stand the high school hottie that all the girls seemed to lust after.

  She had to argue with her mother Saturday morning to go hang out with her friends. Big mouth Reese had told her that Whisper was a trouble maker and she smoked pot. Liz didn’t want her hanging out with that crowd. Seri called too. Liz always fucking did that. Every time Quill looked at her wrong, she was calling Seri. Quill, of course, didn’t listen. She was going. She was getting a tattoo.

  “Who are her parents, Quill?” Liz wanted to know.

  “I don’t know who her pare
nts are. I haven’t met them yet. Why are you making this such a big deal?” Quill asked, annoyed, staring out the window, silently begging for Whisper to hurry the hell up.

  “I like to know who my kids are with and what they are up to,” Liz countered.

  Quill blew out a puff of air, willing herself to keep her mouth shut. Was she for real? She spent 14 years not knowing where she was, and she was going to make an issue over an afternoon.

  “I’ll call or text you later,” Quill promised, seeing the fancy BMW pull into the drive.

  Liz stared after her. What else was she supposed to do?

  Quill had the best day she’d had since she was forced to live with her mother. They smoked so much weed and laughed the entire day. The tattoo hurt like a mother fucker, but she loved it as she stared at it through the mirror on her dresser later that night. It was in the exact same place as Seri’s, minus the word vengeance. Hers too said one simple word, “Julius.”

  By the end of September, Quill didn’t like her new school any more than she had. She hated it more, actually. The only thing she did like about it was Whisper and Sam now too. At least she had him during one of her classes.

  Blain asked her to the homecoming dance and she, of course, declined. She wouldn’t be going to any high school dance. She did have to fight with her mother over that too. She was excited to take her two girls dress shopping. Quill opted out of the shopping day and, instead, hung out at the yard getting stoned with her friends.

  She was pissed again the following weekend. She didn’t care about the homecoming football game. She didn’t care about football, or Reese cheering. She did care that her dad and Seri were coming. She hadn’t seen Seri in almost a month. She would have put up a bigger fight had Seri not been coming to watch Reese and the game too.

  Chapter 20

  Aquilla showered and entered her room wearing a towel. “You scared the fuck out of me. What are you doing here?” Quill yelled, jumping at the sight of Seri sprawled across her bed with a big smile.

  “I missed the fuck out of you. That’s what I’m doing here. Do you have a problem with that?’