Eight Years: A Novel (Trident Trilogy: Book One)

by Donna Schwartze

  Everything is suddenly oddly quiet around us. He holds me against the door for a minute as we try to catch our breath, then he pulls himself out of me and gently lifts me to the floor, kissing the top of my head just as my feet hit the ground.

  I’m still leaning against the door in shock, in excruciatingly sensual shock. “What was that?” I manage to say while still trying to catch my breath.

  He smiles. “That was ‘I couldn’t fucking wait a second longer.’ God, Millie, I’ve wanted to do that since the second I saw you walk in the bar that night you hustled us in pool.”

  “I did not hustle you. I just had a lucky streak.”

  “Okay,” he says laughing and pulling me towards him. “Maybe tonight’s finally my night to have a lucky streak.”

  He pulls what’s left of my dress over my head and gently kisses me, as he picks me up, and carries me back to the bedroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Mason

  Washington, D.C.

  2019

  I wake up with my body so tightly wrapped around her that I’m surprised she’s still breathing. I had that dream again where someone is trying to take her from me—trying to pull her out of my arms. I can tell that I tightened my grip on her while I was sleeping. We’re in the most aggressive spooning position possible. I lean over her head carefully and see her hair rising and falling with her breath, so I know I haven’t squeezed her to death. This is actually comforting to me because that dream is too fucking real. I don’t know who the people are trying to take her, but they’re not going to win.

  I’m getting upset again just thinking about it, so before I start trying to boa constrict her to my body again, I get up to go get some coffee. When I get back with two mugs, she’s sitting up on the side of the bed, completely naked, with her sexy-ass back turned toward me. My mind jumps back to last night when I was running my hands over the muscles in her back while I was inside her, and it makes me hungry again. She sees me looking and quickly wraps the blanket around herself.

  “You know, Mills, I saw all of your body last night. Alllll of it. All night. You don’t have to hide it from me now,” I say, smiling.

  She turns her head slightly to look at me with her back still facing me. I’m buck-ass naked, standing in the doorway with two cups of coffee.

  “I know what you saw, Mason. But, it doesn’t mean you get to see it again.” She smiles a little shyly. She definitely wasn’t shy last night, but it’s so fucking adorable this morning.

  “Yeah, it probably does. I think your body kind of likes me.” I put the coffee down on the table and crawl in the bed behind her. I start tugging at the blanket that’s covering her—hand over hand, reeling her to me. She finally relents and lets the blanket fall, crawling up on my chest.

  “Much better,” I whisper in her ear as I stroke her hair.

  There’s something about running my fingers through her hair that turns me on. I’m getting hard again. I take her hand off my chest, and start to move it down my body. She takes over halfway down, and keeps moving her hand until she’s holding me. She gets on top of me and starts licking my chest. She keeps pushing herself down my body, licking and kissing. She’s at my stomach when I grab her head and tilt it up so I can see her eyes.

  “Babe, you don’t have to do that,” I growl softly. I want her to go down on me so badly, but I know not all women like to do that, and I don’t want her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

  She smiles a little devilishly at me, and keeps moving her head downward. “I know I don’t have to do it, Mason. But I want to. That’s why I’m offering.”

  Using my own words against me. It’s so fucking sexy.

  “Fuck,” I groan as she takes me in her mouth. I literally could come in a second, but I hold on. Her hands start playing with my balls as she’s licks and kisses her way up and down.

  I’ve finally had enough. I’m about to explode. I reach under her arms and pull her up swiftly, flipping her so I’m on top of her. I slide myself inside her quickly, pumping myself in and out until she starts groaning, and then I let out a loud moan that I’m sure woke up half of the neighborhood.

  “Fuuuuuck, Millie. Fuck. What are you doing to me?” I’m breathing so hard that I think I might need oxygen. Damn, no one has ever been able to manipulate my body like this. I’m always in control, but with her, damn, I don’t know what’s happening.

  “Did I hurt you? Are you going to be okay?” She’s smiling that sweet, mischievous way that makes her eyes sparkle.

  “I think I’m going to make it, but I’m definitely going to need to stop for a reload.”

  “Babe, seriously, I surrender,” she says, collapsing on top of my chest again.

  That’s the first time she’s called me that. “Babe, huh?”

  “Does that bother you?”

  I lift her head up, so I can look her directly in the eyes. “Not at all.”

  In honesty, it sounds fucking magical coming out of her mouth.

  “Millie, I have to go back this morning. I really shouldn’t be this far from base at all.”

  “I know,” she whispers, and snuggles a little closer to my chest.

  “I don’t want to leave.”

  “I know. I don’t want you to leave, but I know.”

  “Can I take you out again?”

  “Did you take me out the first time?” She looks up, laughing.

  “Yeah, I guess last night wasn’t really a date. But, I want to make it up to you. Some place nice where I can spoil you.”

  “You know I’m going to be in D.C. for a while now. You’re three hours away on a good day. I’m not sure how we’re going to keep this going.”

  “We can make it work. If you want to, we can make it work. Millie, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I need to at least try to make it work.”

  “Mason, you’re being deployed in a week. I have no idea where they’re going to send me. In reality, this would be tough. Right now, it would be really tough. I don’t even know when I’m going to see you again.”

  “Maybe, I can get Culver to ask for you to be assigned to us permanently,” I say, knowing it’s a bad idea, but I’m desperate.

  “Mason, c’mon, that wouldn’t work any better. You can’t be fucking someone you work with.”

  “You think that’s all this was? Me fucking you? Is that what it was for you? Because it’s a lot more for me,” I say, suddenly feeling very defensive.

  “That’s not what I meant. It’s just bad timing. We both have so much going on right now. You can’t quit and move to D.C. I can’t quit and move to Virginia. It’s just what it is.” She’s being way too practical and realistic, and I’m not liking it at all. I’m pissed now. I have never been on the side of the relationship that cares too much. It’s starting to feel like that now.

  “Seriously, Millie. It was just sex for you. Damn, I totally misread this situation.”

  “Mason, no, it’s not, it wasn’t just sex. It’s just,” she says, hesitating.

  “It’s just what? What aren’t you telling me? And, it’s not your boyfriend or your job or your travel schedule or that it would be a long-distance relationship. What is it? You’re keeping something from me. Damn it, Millie, what is it?”

  She sits up. “Mason, I’m leaving for Bosnia later tonight. Can we talk about this when I get back?”

  “Wait, what? You’re going back to Bosnia? Why? Did you find Hadzic?”

  “No, I haven’t found him yet, but the agency has agreed to let me work out of the embassy while I’m searching for him. I don’t know how long I’m going to be over there.”

  “Why aren’t we going over with you? Have you talked to Culver about this?”

  “Not yet. There’s no reason for you guys to be over there with me. I don’t even know if the intel Hadzic’s father gave me is r
eal yet. I just need to be over there, so I can monitor the situation in person.”

  “And, if you find him, what happens then if we’re not with you?”

  “Well, it depends on when and if I find him. Y’all are going to be deployed in Afghanistan for months, so it might not be your team that gets called in. There’s a team in Germany now that will be closer.”

  “Hell no,” I say. “We are the ones that got you this far. We’re going to be the ones that finish this with you.”

  “Well, that’s really not my call. And, I have to find him first. This might be a moot point. I’m not even sure if he’s in Bosnia. It might be months—years—before I find him.”

  “So, you’re just going to hang out in Sarajevo for years?”

  “Of course not, but I’m going to be over there for as long as they’ll let me be.”

  “What is it about this guy? Why are you so invested in him?”

  “I’ve been chasing him since I got to the agency. This is the first real lead I’ve had on him. It’s the first lead the agency has had in years.”

  “There’s still something you’re not telling me.”

  “Mason, I leave in six hours. I have a ton to do before I leave. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about this earlier, but it just happened within the last day,” she says. “With Drew, and everything with him, and trying to get everything together, I’ve just been distracted. You know how it gets before you leave on deployment. It’s just a lot.”

  My phone has been blowing up for the last fifteen minutes. I haven’t looked at it once. I’m not sure what to say to Millie right now, so I roll over and pick it up. Emergency text from the base, and I’m three hours away at best.

  “I’ve got to go, Millie,” I say as I get out of bed and search for my clothes. “I don’t know what to say about all of this, but maybe it’s better if I just leave. You’re right about our jobs. Maybe it would be too complicated.”

  She just sits on the bed looking up at me; her eyes are sad, but she doesn’t say anything. I kiss her on the head as I walk out.

  “I’ll call you later,” I say as I’m shutting the door.

  When I get in the car, I call Culver, and explain where I am. He’s pissed, but keeps it under control. I tell him about Millie going over to Bosnia by herself, and he gets really pissed. He tells me he’s going to take care of that, and that he’ll cover for me until I get back to the base. As I drive out of the D.C. city limits, my gut is telling me I’ve seen Millie for the last time. Like my dream where the guys are trying to pull her out of my arms, I feel like she’s being ripped away from me, and for the first time in my life, I feel totally helpless.

  Chapter Thirty

  Outer Banks, North Carolina

  2011

  This was the first time Millie had been to Camille’s house since Mack died. It had taken her almost two months to get enough strength to come back to collect the rest of her belongings. As she pulled into the driveway, the memories came flooding back.

  She’d been sitting on the front porch waiting for Mack to pick her up. He had a week’s vacation, and they were going to fly to San Diego to look for houses, and to register her for college. She’d seen the strange car driving up and then Mack’s friend, Chase, who she’d just met at the base the week before, getting out of the car. She thought for a second that he’d driven Mack to the house. Then she saw how he was dressed—the dark, formal uniform. She remembers looking up at him as he approached her. His clean-shaven face was absolutely void of expression.

  She only had vague memories of the rest of that day. She remembers Chase picking up her crumpled body off the porch and holding her as she sobbed. She remembers him leaving her sitting on the lawn chair as he went inside to tell Camille that Mack had died. She remembers hearing yelling, and then she remembers Chase helping her pack a bag, and loading her limp body into his car. Millie had stayed with Chase’s family since that day. She’d never asked him why he brought her there, what Camille had said to him. She hadn’t really had the energy to think about it until now.

  Chase told Millie that Mack had wanted to be cremated, and his ashes distributed at sea. She had gone out on the boat with his team members. She released his ashes when they told her it was time. They were all talking to her, hugging her, holding her, but she didn’t remember anything they said. Camille hadn’t been at the funeral. Millie didn’t know if anyone had invited her. She hadn’t even thought about it.

  After the funeral, Millie did not leave her bed for weeks. Chase’s wife Mariel took care of her. She finally got Millie to get out of bed for a walk one day. And, since then, Millie had just been living with them like she was one of their kids. She hadn’t even realized she’d been living there for months until she overheard them talking last night.

  “Chase, she can’t live here forever. She’s not our child,” Mariel said.

  “Keep your voice down. It’s only been a couple months, Mar. She’s still working her way through it.”

  Millie went down to them when she heard them talking. Mack always taught her to confront her problems head on.

  “Hey,” she said as she entered the kitchen. “I’m so sorry I’ve been here this long. I’ll move out tomorrow.”

  “Oh my God, Millie, you weren’t supposed to hear that.” Mariel ran over to Millie, and hugged her. “You can stay here as long as you want. I’m sorry.”

  “No, you’re right. You’ve got enough going on. You’ve been so nice to me, but it’s time I figure out what I’m going to do next.”

  Chase came over and hugged both of them. “Millie, you can stay here forever if you want. And, we’ll help you figure out what your next step is going to be. Okay?”

  Millie nodded. “I don’t want to go back to the Outer Banks. I’ve decided I want to drop out of high school and get my GED. And then I’ve been thinking about starting college early. Dad left me some money. That’s probably what I want to spend it on.”

  “Well, you’re going to stay here until all that’s done and then as long as you want after that,” Chase said. “And, you’re welcome back here every summer, every holiday forever.”

  ***

  Millie sat in her car, staring at Camille’s house, for a good thirty minutes before she got up the courage to walk in. The front door was unlocked, as usual, but the house was eerily quiet. Camille almost always had something going on in the kitchen. Millie checked there. It was quiet, clean, nothing on the stove. Millie thought maybe Camille had gone out. But, she never went out. She never went anywhere. Millie looked at the clock on the microwave—two o’clock. Camille would never be outside in the middle of the day. She hated the sun and heat. Millie always wondered why she lived in a beach town. She hadn’t once seen Camille step foot in the sand.

  Millie decided to just go upstairs to her room and start packing. She figured Camille would show up sooner or later. Millie stopped to glance in Camille’s room on the way to her own, although she knew she wouldn’t be in there. Camille believed a bedroom was only to be used during sleeping hours. She yelled at Millie many times for being in her bedroom at all hours of the day. Millie peeked in, and saw Camille lying on her bed. She knew at once that Camille was dead. She would never take a nap. Never.

  Millie stood in the doorway for a second, filled with a weird mix of shock, sadness and relief. She walked over to get a closer look at her. Camille looked beautiful. She was wearing her best dress, and had full hair and makeup done. Millie would have never expected anything less.

  She looked over at the side table, and saw two envelopes sitting next to an empty bottle of sleeping pills. One said “My Will” in Camille’s writing, and the other said, “Millie” in her dad’s writing. She picked up the one that said “Millie,” and ran her hand over her name. Just seeing his handwriting brought the tears back to her eyes.

  She shook her head a few times to clear the fog
, put the “Millie” envelope in her bag, and went downstairs to call the sheriff. She sat out on the front porch while they did their thing. She heard the coroner say to the sheriff that Camille had been dead for less than a day. Millie knew that somehow Camille had telepathically ordered her to come to the house today. The whole city would have talked if they’d found her looking anything but fresh.

  Millie saw the funeral home carrying Camille’s body out of the house. She realized she was sitting on the same lawn chair she’d been on when she heard her dad died. This time, she was sitting straight up, no tears. The only thing she felt was tired.

  “Millie.” The sheriff stood over her.

  Millie looked up at him, and he handed her the “My Will” envelope. “I found this by the bed.”

  “Yeah, I saw it. Umm, I’m not sure if I should have it. Does she have an attorney or something?” She suddenly realized how stupid she sounded asking him that about her own grandmother.

  He didn’t seemed fazed. “I think old Dooley downtown is the one who handles her business if you want to take it to him. Sorry for your loss.”

  He walked to his car and left. The hearse with her body was already gone. Millie didn’t know what to do. She sat on the porch and finally decided to do what she’d come there to do. She went upstairs, packed up her stuff, and left.

  She drove back to Chase and Mariel’s house after she dropped the will off at Dooley Law Office. Mariel almost had a heart attack when Millie told her Camille was dead. Mariel started crying, telling Millie she could stay with them for the rest of her life. Millie ended up comforting Mariel all night.