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Over and Out

Page 4

by Paul Whybrow


  Chapter 4—Free at Last

   

  The three daughters saw that their Dad was rising from his chair, leaning over to mutter something into his wife's ear. What was he doing getting onto the dais? There were supposed to be several speeches by family members, including his daughters who'd split their speech into thirds, but Dad was standing at the microphone, tapping it and nodding at the DJ to turn it on.

  Barry gradually reduced the volume of the song playing, which brought the dancers to a confused halt and a few groans sounded.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls”, please put your hands together for a speech by the man of the day, Timo Thomaselli—Timo, over to you….”

  Their Dad looked confident and raised his head to look out over the revellers, while he adjusted the mic stand to bring the microphone down to his level. Their Mum swivelled around in her chair and was leaning forward, drilling her husband with a basilisk stare.

  “Thank-you, one and all. I'm sorry to interrupt your dancing, eating and drinking, but I won't be long. I've got something important to say, and it wouldn't be right to let the

  evening go on for too much longer without saying it. I don't believe in misleading people.”

  Bella, Bea and Bianca moved quietly through the throng to get closer to their Dad, beckoning their husbands to join them.

  “Tonight we're all here to celebrate my wife and I's 50th wedding anniversary. I hope that you all have a lovely time, but it's not something I can continue to support. I've been married to you Bertha for long enough. Tonight it ends.”

  His wife's jaw was agape with astonishment—not a wise move, as the top-set of her false teeth detached from the roof of her mouth and were hanging down. She was clenching her champagne flute in a death-grip, and Bella wondered if the stem would break before she threw it at her father.

  “I should never have married you in the first place, Bertha, but you were pregnant with our first-born, and I felt honour-bound to behave like a gentleman. What I didn't know was that I wasn't marrying a lady. Oh you've got all of the airs-and-graces, but you're nothing but a jumped-up mean-hearted bitch!”

  There was a collective intake of breath at this statement, and a couple of mothers quickly took their children from the room. Bella was stunned to learn that she'd been at her parent's wedding, albeit inside her Mum's womb. So it wasn't just her who'd been a naughty girl and got knocked-up—what a hypocrite her Mum was.

  “What I didn't know when I first became involved with you, Bertha, was what you'd engineered when I was away doing my National Service. While I was out in Kenya you were putting the kibosh on my relationship with my childhood sweetheart Florence. We'd been going steady for three years before I was posted overseas, and as soon as I was gone you wormed your way into Florence's company pretending to be her friend.”

  Bertha was frowning, plainly confused as to how he knew any of this. She glanced at the guests to see if any of them were watching her—they were of course—this was better than TV, so she tried to straighten her face.

  “I expect that you're wondering how I found out all about this, aren't you me dear....Well, about a year ago, Florence came back into my life. She'd moved away 51 years ago, after you told her that I'd been killed out in Kenya in the Mau Mau Rebellion. She wanted to be closer to her family up country, and while she was there she met a nice young man, got married and had a family.”

  “Sadly, her husband died a while ago, so Florence decided to move back to where she'd been happy as a girl. And fortunately for both of us she thought that she'd learn how to play crown-green bowls. I knew her as soon as she walked into the club-room, and she knew me too—though you can imagine how confused she was—she thought I'd been dead for half-a-century. Time hadn't changed how we felt about each other, and we've been going steady for the second time around for the last year.”

  Muttering was discernible from the onlookers. Bella, Bea and Bianca were glad that their men were there, standing behind them for support. It was hard not to smile, for Dad looked so forthright and justified in what he was saying, while their Mum looked like she'd just swallowed a gallon of cement. Looking around for the bowling-club contingent, Bella immediately spotted Florence—it must be her, a pretty little slip of a woman with curly white hair and a great big grin on her face.

  “All in all, I've had it with you Bertha. I've stayed with you longer than I should have done, but I'm an honourable man and I wanted to see our lovely girls married and with children of their own. They've been settled for a while now, and I might still have stayed with you, but I've got a second chance at real happiness now that Florence is back in my life. So, it's over and out, Bertha.”

  “You can have the house—Florence and I have signed the lease on a rental property, and I'm sure we'll be as happy together as you and I have been unhappy. That's all, folks. My family won't have to make any speeches tonight, which I'm sure they're relieved about. I'm off into my new life now, so let this be a lesson to you—it's never too late to make a new start.”

  The party-goers had fallen silent now, impressed by the dignity of the dapper old man, and intrigued to see what the abandoned wife was going to do. Bertha just sat there stunned, twiddling her champagne-glass distractedly, her eyes not focused on anything.

  Their Dad was just about to leave the podium, but he paused and went back to the microphone, “Oh, one last thing, Bertha. Those jewels that you're so proud of—they're paste. I needed to have them tested years ago, for the house insurance. Like you, they're all surface-glitter and fake!”

  With that closing statement Timo straightened his tie and hopped down off the dais, sauntering through the dancers making towards Florence. He gave his daughters a happy grin as he passed them, nodding back towards their mother. They shook their heads that they'd understood—they'd see that she was looked after—they had never seen their Mum look so weak and vulnerable before. This was going to be fun….

  Timo walked straight up to Florence, who raised herself up on tiptoe and kissed him firmly on the lips. Good for Dad—he'd found a woman shorter than him. Holding hands, Dad and his new old love Florence threaded their way through the party-guests towards the exit, receiving a few pats-on-the-back and handshakes from people who knew what Bertha was like. Some of the children excitedly ran after them, including Bella's daughters.

   

 

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