Dani's Shorts 5

by Dani J Caile

  "What appeared?"

  "It! It was normal to start with, talking about frogs and gigs, but... then came the first snide, derogatory remark, and then...then..."

  "What? What happened?"

  "It attacked Alice! I ran! I couldn't save her!" She cried, blowing her nose on my jacket. There was a louder noise, closer now. The girl screamed. And then I saw it.

  "No, no, it can't be...it's, it's..."

  Weekend Quickie 131

  Image of lonely dark alley with woman walking away, high tension, a surprise. 250 words

  The town was quiet, the night cool. Only the light of the moon hitting the cobblestones broke the darkness of the streets. He followed her, keeping his distance. The tension was unbearable now, he didn't know for how long he could hold it inside, the desire to act burning his brain.

  Each step raised the stakes, brought the inevitable closer. His hands shook, sweat flowed down his neck. Tonight would be the night. Finally, so many opportunities missed, so many chances blown, now was the time. She stopped for a moment and he slunk back, out of view. She continued to move on. He couldn't risk it, it had to be. His body quivered in anticipation, tension. Taking a side street, he quietly quickened the pace, using shortcuts he'd memorised for years, knowing his moment would come if he persevered.

  Peeping from a corner he could see her, closer now. Soon, so very soon. Creeping back down the alley, he took those last few twists and turns between houses, walls at breakneck speed, making sure he would gain on her as she walked her usual route.

  Reaching his goal, he took one last breath before plunging into what he had planned for so long. Everything was perfect! Now, now he had to act! He jumped out from the shadows and met her face to face.

  "Surprise!"

  "Oh, Richard! Next time remember to wear your trainers! I heard your shoes a mile off, you idiot." She stormed off in a huff.

  Weekend Quickie 131 (second)

  "Item number 131, "Woman on Lonely Street" by Ivan Oldslumpypiecopooh. Let's start the bidding at, say, 100 Euros," smiled the auctioneer.

  "1000!" shouted a woman from the back. 1000 Euros? It had already escalated.

  "1500!" I said. It was going to be tough.

  "1500 to you, sir," said the auctioneer.

  "2000!" The people in the room began to mutter.

  "2500!" I gave back. The muttering grew, as did the tension in the room.

  "3000!" The auctioneer's eyes fell on me.

  "Sir, the bid against you is 3000 Euros."

  I started to bite my fingernails. I knew it would be a fight but the stakes were high.

  "Going once, going twice..."

  "4000!" That was almost everything I had. The auctioneer looked over to the woman. If only he would hit the gavel now!

  "10,000!" screamed the woman from the back. I shook my head and the hammer hit the gavel.

  "The Oldslumpypiecopooh is yours, madam." Applause filled the room and a man stood up.

  "Stop! That picture is a fake!"

  "Sir! How dare you accuse this famed auctioneer house of handling a fake! How dare you! Where's your proof, sir?"

  "I AM Ivan Oldslumpypiecopooh and I know for a fact that I did not paint that monstrosity!"

  There were gasps in the room and the woman who won the bid fainted. The auctioneer fell back in his chair, flabbergasted.

  "Well, that's a surprise," said the man next to me.

  "Really?" I asked.

  "Yes, I thought the old git was dead."

  Weekend Quickie 132

  Pretend you are writing a story, or a scene, which will be included into a full length movie and your story/scene will be accompanied by a song in the background. Pick a song then write a story/scene for the song to compliment. Word count doesn’t matter, but keep it short; 100 to 300 words ought be enough. Be sure to include a link to the song so we can listen to it as we picture your story/scene in our minds.

  (100 words)

  Time leave. It was all too much. The drugs, the people, the knives in backs, the lies, the fights, the jokes, the girls looking for a good time. All under the guise of a rock band. Rock band? We were playing regurgitated blues. Badly. If I could have stood it for just a moment longer, I'm sure I'd have a ton of money in my palm, but why? To be here a little longer, in the gutter, going nowhere fast, killing myself, one molecule at a time? I picked up my rucksack and guitar and headed for the front door.

  (Aimee Mann - Calling it Quits)

  Weekend Quickie 133

  Image of man looking into a microscope, a discovery, boredom

  "What are you doing, Richard?" asked his cohort in crime, Christina.

  "What does it look like I'm doing?" He went back to the microscope.

  Christina glanced over and saw Richard was examining a small piece of paper with words on it. Richard looked up and sighed.

  "Oh, the boredom of it all. The hours I've spent reading and analysing and thinking and reading some more and contemplating and... and now I'm using a microscope to look at some of the words cut from a page, maybe there's something hidden, something I'm not seeing..."

  "What, Richard? What are you not seeing?"

  "Why 'Purity' by Jonathan Franzen is on the Bestseller's list."

  "Ah," nodded Christina.

  "Why is this piece of putrid nonsense so revered over others less known? What has he got in his writing that we do not? What is the essence of his success?"

  "Friends in big chairs and big cars?" said Christina.

  "I'm missing something, Christina, there must be something here..." Richard went back to twiddling with the microscope.

  "Look, Richard, do you really want to write like him? Do you really want to cheat any potential readers with meaningless twaddle and tripe? Just write, don't stoop down to his level."

  "Yes... yes, you're right." Richard stood up and pushed the microscope away. "Thank you, Christina, I think I've made an important discovery today. Writing isn't about selling, it's about... writing," he said, leaving the room.

  "Where are you going, Richard?" asked Christina.

  "Where do you think I'm going?"

  Weekend Quickie 134

  Image of a goldfish in a bowl, ambition, a compromise

  "Today I will conquer the world! A pen, a pen! I need a pen! I'm gonna write the best novel EVER! It'll be a Bestseller for months!" He ran around the flat, pushing away empty cans and pizza boxes, opening cupboards and looking under the furniture.

  "Here," she said, passing him a biro. "So, that's your 'big thing' now, huh?"

  "What?"

  "Nothing."

  "I'm gonna write the best book ever, mark my words! I'll be rich, a fat cat among the pigeons, a big fish in the sea!"

  "More like a goldfish in a bowl," she muttered.

  "What?"

  "Nothing. Well, I'm off to make some money, those burgers won't get served by themselves." She closed the door behind her.

  "Right." He sat down, pen in hand and started scribbling. He scrunched up the paper and took another...

  A pile of crumpled paper covered the sofa. He'd tried a novel, novella, short story, Flash fiction piece...nothing.

  "Okay, how about...a poem!" Off he went again. "A compromise I know, but I'm damned sure I can kick out some fantastically wicked poetry!" He started an ode, an elergy, some verse, a sonnet, a haiku - after looking on wiki to find out what that was. "Hell!" It all seemed... flat. "Ah-ha!" He took another piece of paper and wrote down his words. Beaming with pride, he stuck it to the fridge door. "You see! I can write!" He put on his jacket and left the flat. (Gone for a beer. Back at 6.)

  Weekend Quickie 135

  Image of a busy city street at night, ostracism, altruism

  It had been a long time since he'd been ostracised. He remembered that horrendous day, those thousands of ostraka with his name sat there in a pile on the assembly floor. They said it was the largest amount ever collected, a record still held for all he knew. He was only trying to
help them, the citizens of the place he once called home, from the plague of rats that had appeared almost overnight. He had worked selflessly with altruism to solve the problem, and that was exactly what he'd done. Pumping the toxic poison he had created into the sewers had ridden the town of rats, but unfortunately had also seeped into the ground and contaminated the local drinking water. It was then found that one of his chain of wholesale stores had drawn the rats to town with forgotten raw meat left in a backyard, rotting away.

  Now, here he was on the threshold of returning, after many years of travelling, surviving, looking for a way to live after such a calamity. Stepping over the town border, he began to walk the streets. As he moved onwards, he felt that something had changed. It was no longer the place he once knew, no longer the quiet, peaceful community he loved and adored. Within a few minutes he found himself deep within the crowd, suffocating, being pushed from one shoulder to the next, unable to see where he was going.

  "Oh my!" he cried out. "The vermin have returned!"

  Weekend Quickie 136

  Image of Chinese baby in tub, Precocious, Nonplussed

  When she opened the door, I was taken aback.

  "Hua?" Her face was pale, her eyes like two black pools. She said nothing, only gesturing me inside. "Not getting enough sleep with the new one?" I hadn't been around since the birth of their daughter.

  "You could say that," replied Hua, shuffling in her slippers. I followed her into the kitchen.

  "Sorry, I couldn't come around earlier. How's the...?" I stopped in my tracks, and Hua moved past, towards the cooker. In the middle of the floor was a baby, resting in a small tub of water, with a towel over its head. It looked so... confident. Strange. I bent down to greet the girl. "Well, hello there..."

  "Bow when you address me!"

  I fell backwards in surprise, nonplussed. "Wha...?"

  "I said bow when you address nobility!" The baby pointed her finger down forcefully.

  "I...I..."

  "I am Empress Jia, reincarnated! Bow, peasant!"

  I looked over at Hua and she was already on the floor, bowing away. Empress Jia? I'd done my history, I knew who that was, but the baby? Incredible. The baby was speaking.

  "Now, get me a towel! I believe I have bathed enough for now!" The baby stood up and turned around, her arms held horizontally, readying herself. Hua passed me a towel and I put it around the baby's shoulders.

  "She's a bit... precocious, isn't she?" I whispered to Hua.

  "Silence! Otherwise I will call the executioner!" Chang, Hua's husband, walked in holding a sword...

  Weekend Quickie 137

  Image of an empty rail track in the autumn, melancholy, nostalgia

  Leaves fell as he lay there, strewn across the tracks.

  "I remember when we came here, anytime we could. We sat beside this track, blanket down, basket out, holding cheese sandwiches and our glasses of Chardonnay, and we watched as the 3:20 from Bexhill whizzed by."

  The tracks began to vibrate, upsetting those leaves resting on the smooth, worn steel rails.

  "You'd laugh as I choked on my last gulp of wine, and I wouldn't mind. To be with you was...everything... Those were the days... and now, now that you have left... now there is an emptiness, a melancholy, a bottomless pit of despair. The blanket is down, the basket out, but there are no sandwiches for two, no glass of Chardonnay."

  He took a last swig from his Jack Daniels bottle and threw it into the woods.

  "I wish for those days again, to relive them, to breath them, to feel them... But it cannot be. Those days have gone forever."

  The rumble of the train grew louder, the tracks coming alive.

  "And so I say farewell. To you. To the memory of you."

  The train's horn blew long and hard as it sped along the tracks.

  Weekend Quickie 138

  Image of person working in a laboratory, angst, occupational hazard

  As a scientist, my long, suffering life is full of angst. It wouldn't be complete without it. I have the hope that I will eventually find what I am looking for, something which cannot be explained, something that cannot be disproved, something which will mystify the masses and endure the envy of my fellow peers. One day I may do all these things, but when, where, what, and how? The answers to those questions are beyond me. When this seemingly impossible task will be complete, then, and only then can I rest. As I deal with formulae, theories, experiments, chemicals, catalysts and observations, collecting all the information and data I can find, and cramming them into my calculating mind, watching them swish around together in my brain soup of conclusions until something occurs, forgetting normal things like eating, sleeping, remembering anniversaries, taking the trash out, and feeding the dog become occupational hazards. The mediocre of life is discarded for the inspiring, the intriguing thoughts which fill my mind as I work and...

  "Hey, Bob! Have you finished with those urine samples yet?" asked Dave, my boss.

  "Yeah, sure. The results are over there, on your desk."

  Now, where was I...?

  List of elements for Challenges 106-130 (including Grudge Matches and Opens) and Weekend and Weekday Quickies 97-138

  Challenges and Specials

  106 – Young Woman with a Book, If I were God, A terra cotta soldier from China, The last line must be: “Who do you think you are?”

  107 – The Tiger Next Monastery, An imponderable question (such as, but not this one: Can God make a object too heavy for him to lift?), A débutante, The person who cleans public restrooms

  108 (Spring Open Prelims) – Artemis (Greek Goddess), A dilettante, a moon rock, jello wrestling

  109 (Spring Open Final ) – Astigmatism, A solid plutonium halberd, magma, a picture of a gondola in Venice

  110 - A cactus couch, A new born baby, A judge’s gavel, A bull Mastodon

  111 - Amazing Wate-On, The Bastille, Mason Bees, All characters are Monopoly tokens

  112 - A carrier pigeon, Bath Salts, The Pyramids, A Love Cactus

  Dani J Caile Invitational - Take one element from Challenge 59 to Challenge 109 (excluding 60+62?), in order, and write a 500 word story.

  113 (Annual Final 2015) - Three Stooges Happy Birthday Song, A person born with red eyes, A poison dart frog, Pukwudgies

  114 - 2015 Miss Gypsy Universe Pageant, A pick pocket contest, Hand Cymbals (the tiny ones, used between fingers), A red nose

  115 - Theme Song to Paladin, A Demonically possessed jar of Nutella, The Active Act of Mutiny, An Event Horizon

  116 – The Fibonacci Sequence, An Airedale, A possessed car, A love triangle

  117 – Sent back in time to teach a caveman to create a wheel or to start fire because (fill in the blank), a cracked china water pitcher, a star shaped opening, a Stone arrowhead

  118 – (Summer Prelims) – A time clock, ice cream, A Parachute, Told from POV of an alien on the planet Nibiru, as the Nibiru enters our solar system. Nibiru technology is no greater or worse than Earth’s.

  Grudge Match 15 - An unfortunate insult, A large patio umbrella, An unsolved Rubic’s Cube, Tights, A happy ending

  119 – (Summer Final) – A Hapi drum, A strange, odd spirit takes you to the past and the future where you meet your successful self and your failed self at the same time, A paper crown, Survivors guilt

  120 - A rundown business, The Old West, A Will, Anxiety

  121 – Alis Van Doorn Challenge - A moss draped Cemetary, A hidden leather satchel, containing $10K cash (or pounds, forint, yen, just a large amount of money.), A peculiar looking priest, A foul mouthed parrot named Percy. (easy on the cursing, no f bombs.)

  122 – Mr. Bill from SNL, Firefly, A responsibility, An odor from a specific spice

  123 – The Steve Bergeron Challenge - chilean fear volcano,a fiery path to ark of the covenant, path to salvation, one of the seven deadly sins

  124 – The E. Chris Garrison Challenge - Grandfather Paradox, A Selfie, A deck of Tarot Cards, A Mistaken Identity

 
125 - Write a short statement or phrase for each song saying what you think each one is about, and use your summaries as your elements. (Piano man by Billy Joel, Waiting on a friend by Mick Jaggar, Stay by Jackson Browne, Boulevard of broken dreams by Greenday)

  126 - The Eiffel Tower, A Prison Cafeteria, Picante Sauce, The last sentence must be: “Clear!”

  C127/AO8 - The Christopher A Liccardi Challenge - A death bed vision, a smelly sweat sock, a neuro physicist, a red rain boot

  128 - The Vance Rowe Challenge - Bacon, a football, a cigar and the image (Kermit drinking Lipton tea)

  DL Zwissler Amazon Special - 500 words, ketchup, fish stew, The Invisible Man, image of man holding a peeing baby

  129 – (Autumn Open Prelims) A worldwide holiday celebrating a fictional character (you must name the character), testing the first bullet-proof vest, the first mosquito of the season, pancake batter

  Mamie Pound’s Halloween Special – 500 words

  130 – (Autumn Open Final) A post-game media interview with a gladiator, a contract, a spider, a hideous steampunk mask

  Quickies

  Weekday Quickie 4 - Write YOUR own horror story. Start with the following sentence: I was jumping on the trampoline…

  USE THESE WORDS: dead, Meryl Streep, scratches, grim, and dirty. 250 words. END WITH: What’s done is done…

  Weekday Quickie 5 - Write a speech for the most eligible bachelor in your town. He will be be accepting an award and a Key to the City for his eligibility. (I know, ridiculous). You must include the following:Earwax,Insomnia,Yeast Infection and Zoot Suit

  97 - You are Darth Vader, and you are writing a rap about Han Solo and Princess Leia. 200 words. Must include Wookie nookie, Mr. Sulu, and Anakin

  98 - Start with: Jackie ate the last banana… ,Use the words, pear, torque and water- fight. 150 words

  99 (Sunday) - Write a country song with 4 stanzas and a chorus. You must use the following words: Corn fed, drama, baby mama, tight blue jeans. Max 200 words