Oh, Bite Me: Paranormal Dating Agency

by Chris Genovese

  “Nicely done,” he said. “So, we’ve got a shark out there missing an eye.”

  A second knock on the door and this time, the visitor standing in the doorway was one Penny had dreamt about. The man she’d met on the yacht. The gorgeous one who’d left her to go talk to the stunning whore with the red strip in her hair. That guy. Thane. With tan cargo shorts and a light blue shirt, he seemed so much more casual than he had on the yacht.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “Am I interrupting?”

  The police officer, or whoever he was since he’d never really introduced himself, turned toward Thane and stuck his hands in his pockets. He rocked back on his heels, passing his instant judgment on the handsome man who’d shown up unannounced.

  “Friend of hers?” the officer asked.

  “Maybe,” Thane answered. “You?”

  Penny saw something pass between the two men. Thane’s eyes squinted ever so slightly, and it looked as if he might be glaring at the nosy blond. She wondered if the two already knew each other.

  “A new friend I suppose,” the officer said.

  “Do you two know each other?” Sylvia asked, talking to the men.

  She must have sensed the awkwardness too.

  “I’m not sure we do,” the officer said.

  “We’ve met…once,” Thane said, “but I’ve heard about the brave Boating and Fisheries Patrol officer Keelan Kane. His shark hunting skills are…legendary.”

  “Well,” Keelan said. “Sometimes it takes a beast to know how to hunt one.”

  Am I missing something here? What is this show of testosterone I’m seeing in front of me?

  “Be careful out there,” Thane said. “Sometimes beasts bite back.”

  An odd silence followed as the two men sized each other up. Finally, it was Thane who broke the silence with a shrug of his shoulders.

  “Just saying,” he added. “I’ve heard sharks are great hunters too.”

  Keelan shrugged his shoulders, smiled, and said, “I’ve yet to find one worthy of the fear they incite. They’re nothing but big fish really. Big dumb fish.”

  “Isn’t that how you got the scar on your face?” Thane asked. “The big dumb fish scar?”

  Penny noticed the flexing in Thane’s jaws and wondered if the officer had seen it too. Why was Thane so aggravated by the man? Penny didn’t know him well, but she still felt that instant connection with him. Now that he’d shown up to the hospital, she knew it wasn’t a temporary thing. He wanted to make sure she was okay. He cared about her.

  “Ask where that shark is now,” Keelan said.

  “I’m sorry,” the nurse said as she popped her head in the door. “Visiting hours are over. We need to run a few more tests in the morning and she needs to get her rest.”

  “Of course,” Thane said.

  “I can come back some other time,” the officer said.

  “Are you sure I can’t stay with her?” Sylvia asked.

  “It’s not a good idea,” the nurse said.

  “I’ll be okay,” Penny told her. “Go back to the hotel and have a few drinks for me.”

  Sylvia leaned over her friend and gave her a hug.

  ***

  Make a fucking move. Do it. Go for that sidearm at your hip.

  Keelan Kane had a pistol under his jacket. Thane could smell the dried gunpowder. He wished the man would try something stupid. Did he know that Thane was a shifter? Humans were aware of their existence. Stories of wolves and bears and even lions and tigers shifting into humans had reached every continent. Shifters were everywhere. Not in great numbers, but they were on every continent. Yet, Thane hadn’t heard a single story about an underwater shifter. At least nothing substantial. Nothing beyond the regular ol’ stories like the Loch Ness monster or tales of mermaids and mermen. But this guy wasn’t normal. The way he looked at Thane suggested he knew more than he was letting on. Had he known Bobber was a shifter?

  Come on. Make a fucking move.

  The desire to bash his fucking skull against the hard tile floor was almost too much to contain. Thane wanted to kill him for what he’d done to Bobber. He wanted to rip him apart to show his people that he was capable of it, but he needed the officer to make a move first.

  When the nurse came in and interrupted, Thane realized he’d wasted the time he could have spent talking to Penny on this son of a bitch. This gave him a second reason to hate the officer. The laundry list of reasons to hate Keelan was growing longer by the day.

  Outside the hospital, Thane watched from the shadows as Keelan offered Sylvia a ride back to the hotel. She accepted, and they rode off together.

  Now was his chance to speak to Penny with nobody else around. He walked back into the hospital and made his way to her floor. The nurses weren’t around and the light to her room was off when he slipped inside. Penny was in bed, staring at the light seeping in through the window. He knew there was no way he could approach her without scaring the shit out of her.

  “Hey, don’t be afraid,” he said.

  She screamed. She fucking screamed and she screamed loud.

  “It’s me, Thane,” he said. “I snuck in to see you.”

  The nurse burst through the door and he was barely able to sneak into the bathroom on time. From inside the bathroom, he saw the room light pop on.

  “What is it?” the nurse asked.

  “Nothing,” Penny said. “I…I thought I saw something outside the window. I think it’s the medication.”

  “The medication?” she asked. “We didn’t give you anything that strong…yet.”

  “It was that tree,” Penny said, pointing out the window. “It moved in the wind and I swear it looked like someone flying outside.”

  “Good God,” the nurse said. “Calm down. And get some rest.”

  As the nurse left the room, she mumbled the word, “Americans.”

  Finally, once the light was off and the nurse was gone, Thane stepped out of the bathroom and made his way over to her. He squatted down next to the bed and took one of her hands in his.

  “My God,” he said. “I was so worried about you. Tell me you’re okay.”

  “You were worried about me?” she asked.

  “Every damn second,” he said. “You’re all I’ve been able to think about.”

  “Why did you leave me?” she asked. “Why did you leave me to talk to that woman?”

  “It’s a long story. One I can tell you some other time. Right now, we have to get you out of here.”

  “Get me out of here? Are you crazy?”

  “Maybe a little,” he said. “I left you for only a second on that boat and look what happened. I can’t leave you alone in here. You’re stuck with me now. Gerri knew what she was talking about.”

  “Gerri?”

  “The woman who set us up on the date, remember?” he asked.

  “Of course, I just…I’m sorry, my mind is a bit of a mess right now.”

  He gripped her hand harder. He needed to make her see what he meant. Of course, she wouldn’t understand. To her, a man could either be a friend, a boyfriend, or a husband. To him, a relationship could be so much more, and it could happen so much more quickly. She was the one. She was the mate he’d been hoping for. But explaining that to her would seem absurd. In shark form, he would simply take her. He would bite her, hold her down, and he’d fuck her until she understood. But that was the beast side of him. Shark sex was violent. It was mean. It wasn’t what he wanted with her. She was his woman even if she didn’t know it yet. He decided to go for it.

  “Do you remember much about what happened on the boat? In the water after?” he asked.

  “Not a lot,” she said. “It happened too quickly.”

  “Axel knocked you off the boat,” he told her.

  “The blond guy?” she asked. “You know him?”

  “The girl I was talking to, Evelyn?” he started. “She planned it to hurt me. She knew I was already attached to you.”

  “Attached to me?�
� she asked.

  The tone of her voice was adorable, and he knew if the lights were on he would see her blush.

  “I’m attached to you,” he told her. “I…I…”

  Dammit, I fucking love you already. I can’t say that. That’s absurd. She’ll run for the hills. It’ll sound stupid. And I’m not even sure if love is the right word. You’re mine. No, that sounds menacing. How do I explain it?

  “Remember the talk we had on the yacht?” he asked. “About paranormal stuff? About shifters?”

  “Of course,” she said.

  “Do you remember the tiger shark that circled around you in the water? The one who kept circling to make sure none of the others could get to you?”

  She remained silent for a moment, and he felt bad forcing her to relive such a terrible memory. He hated himself for not knowing Evelyn’s intentions in time to prevent it from happening. He’d let her down, and now he was making her relive it all over in her mind.

  “Yes,” she said softly.

  “I was that shark,” he said. “I protected you. I should have gotten there sooner. I’m so sorry.”

  He leaned down and kissed her hand, rubbing her fingers in his.

  “I’m so sorry,” he repeated. “I should have known. I should have prevented it.”

  “So, you did jump in to save me,” she said barely above a whisper. “I thought nobody cared.”

  Letting her feel that way was something he could never forgive himself for. He stood and leaned over her bed, moving his face an inch from hers in the darkness. Her breath brushed his lips and he closed his eyes, living in the moment for a second. He wanted to climb into the bed and hold her that close forever.

  “I will always care,” he said.

  His lips touched hers, but neither moved for a moment. Her breath entered his mouth and his seeped inside hers. The raw emotion of being so close and refraining from the kiss was so strong. Finally, he could no longer hold back. Thane’s lips met Penny’s and he kissed her hard, working her lips between his, until her gasp invited him in. His tongue slid between her lips, found hers, and caressed it softly. Her mouth was so soft and his was so hungry. The two combined and their tongues were on fire.

  Without meaning to, he pushed against her injured leg, and she whined inside his mouth, but he sucked the pain away, apologizing with his tongue, pulling another whine from her lips. She was his, and he was hers.

  “Come with me,” he whispered into her mouth.

  “Where?” she asked.

  He pulled away from her, so he could look her in the eyes.

  “Come with me to my island,” he said. “I will take care of you there. I can do things this hospital can’t. I’ll take care of you. I’m afraid if you stay here, you might be in danger. If you come with me, I’ll make sure you’re never hurt again.”

  “I can’t leave here,” she said. “What about my friend, Sylvia?”

  “Send her a text message saying you promise you’ll get in touch with her soon,” he said. “Tell her…I don’t know. Just make sure she knows you’re okay.”

  “This is crazy,” she said.

  “Let’s be crazy together then,” he said. “Trust me. I will take care of you.”

  She closed her eyes and seemed to be savoring his words.

  “I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for someone to say that,” she said. “Are you sure you mean it?”

  “More than anything else in the world,” he promised.

  “Then I’ll go with you,” Penny said.

  Chapter 7

  Sneaking out of the hospital with Thane was the most invigorating thing she’d ever done. Penny was nervous, but she was excited at the same time. Not only had he revealed his secret to her, but he’d told her that he wanted her and that he wanted to take her home. She’d never had anyone talk to her the way he did. And that kiss. Every kiss prior had felt like it was only a step toward something else, more like a tool used to move her dates on to third base.

  Not Thane’s kiss. His kiss was everything. It stood on its own two legs. His kiss was that, and that alone, it was an explosion of emotions, sensory overload, all in what must have only amounted to a minute. As he held her in his arms and carried her out of the hospital, she felt loved. She felt cared for. She felt protected.

  With her arms draped around his neck, he led her to a car driven by someone else and placed her gently in the backseat. From there, she was taken down to the docks, where he once again picked her up and carried her onto a boat, which was also driven by someone else. It seemed he had it all worked out. He’d had a driver and a captain and who knew how many others waiting to whisk her away.

  What if I’d said no? What if I’d refused to go with him?

  Who was she kidding? She would have never said no. Not to this guy. Thane was everything she wanted. Her life had been an endless carousel of waking up, sitting around in her pajamas to type away at her computer, heading to her next medical appointment, and then going home to a lonesome dinner with maybe a phone call from Sylvia. She’d go to sleep watching a TV show she had little interest in and then she’d wake up and do it all over again. Wrapped up in Thane’s arms, she felt life might be different. It might mean more.

  “I don’t know about going out on the water again,” she whispered to him as he lay with her on a bed below deck.

  “Rest,” he told her. “Sleep. When you wake up, we’ll be there. I’ll stay awake and make sure nothing happens to you. I promise.”

  She didn’t want to rest. She was exhausted, and her body begged for sleep, but her mind told her she might wake up and find that this had all been a dream. The doctor had given her some pretty good drugs the day before, and she wouldn’t have been surprised to find out this was all a hallucination.

  “You won’t leave me?” she asked.

  He pulled a blanket up to cover her and slid his body down so his face was closer to hers. His fingertips touched her chin, so tenderly, and then he whispered, “I’ll never leave you again.”

  “Never is a long time,” she said.

  “Never isn’t long enough,” he replied.

  She closed her eyes and the last thing she felt was his lips caress hers softly.

  When she woke, she felt none of the stiffness in her leg. At the hospital, it had been wrapped in bandages and filled with ointment. Yet, the pain had been constant. She’d felt an itch she could never scratch and an annoyance that nagged at her constantly. But now it was gone.

  Penny was alone in the room below deck. Throwing off the blanket, she was completely naked. Her hospital gown had been removed and the bandages on her leg were gone. So were the cuts and the dried blood. Scars had formed where the deep grooves had been torn into her leg by the shark’s teeth, but other than that, she was completely healed.

  What the fuck? This is a miracle. But seriously, what the fuck? Is this even possible?

  She’d heard the stories of shifters being able to heal people, but she’d heard so many tales that it was impossible to tell which were only rumors and which were truth.

  The cool sea air on her pussy reminded her she had better cover up before someone came into the room.

  He saw me naked?

  An invisible foot kicked her in the stomach and the cramp made her almost nauseous. It was a mix of hunger and disappointment that the first time her man saw her naked was when she was completely knocked out and looked like shit. She hadn’t been able to put on sexy panties and her favorite bra. She’d worn a fucking hospital gown, white with little blue diamonds on it.

  This is great. Just fucking great. He’ll never want to see me again.

  “Hello, are you awake down there?” someone asked.

  It was a male voice, but it didn’t belong to Thane. In fact, this one sounded Spanish, which struck her as odd given all the other accents she’d heard since arriving in Queensland had been mostly Australian aside from a few British or American tourists she’d met at the hotel.

  Oh my God! How many
people have seen me naked?

  “I’m awake!” she yelled. “But I’m not dressed! Please do not come down here.”

  She searched around her for some clothes but found none.

  “Mr. Thane said to check in the drawer to your right. He put a dress in there for you!”

  She leaned over and opened the drawer. Sure enough, he had put a soft, yellow sundress in there, the kind of dress one might slip over her bathing suit had she been wearing one at all. Thankful for the gesture and the fact that she wouldn’t have to walk naked off the boat, she pulled the dress over her. Unfortunately, he hadn’t left a bra or panties to go with it. It would have been weird if he had she supposed. What were the chances he would have guessed her sizes?

  Nice. Scoring points here. But where the hell are you and why am I having a conversation with some strange person yelling at me down the stairs?

  Once she was dressed, Penny made her way up the stairs, careful to pin her dress down at her sides with her arms in case a strong wind decided to blow through and lift it up over her head. That would be a great way to make a first impression with Thane’s friends.

  An older Hispanic man took her hand to help lead her to a ladder and down to a small rubber dingy tied to the side of the boat. The water around her was so crystal clear that she could see small fish racing around and crabs burrowing beneath the white sand. It was a scene she could imagine seeing in the Bahamas or maybe even in Hawaii, but here she was off the coast of an Australian island, and it was beautiful.

  “Mr. Thane is waiting for you on shore,” the older man said as he helped her on to the dingy.

  “Why didn’t he stay with me on the boat?” she asked the man.

  “It’s umm…it’s complicated,” the man said. “Maybe he will tell you if you ask him. I do not know. I will leave that up to him.”

  Did he not know that she knew Thane’s secret? And what did that have to do with leaving her alone on the boat in the first place? She would have to ask him herself since the old man seemed worried about giving away too much information. As soon as the man had the motor running, and he drove the dingy around to the front of the boat, she saw the island and a few people standing on shore waving at her. Thane was there, in a fresh change of clothes, with one hand in his pocket and the other in the air beckoning her forward. She smiled and waved back.