The Black Knights

by Matilda Reyes

  I crossed my arms to hide my shaking hands and backed up toward his apartment’s front door. “You should finish packing. I’ll see you on the plane.”

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  Every mistake I’d made, every failure clung like a second skin. I couldn’t shake the memories of the times when I’d assigned someone inappropriately, missed a document to sign, or flubbed a training exercise. I saw myself falling on my ass, the result of misjudging a jump from one barrier to another. Voss on fire because I was too careless to send just the tiniest of flames toward him. The indignation of Rodriguez when his overtime pay hadn’t gone through because I forgot to sign his timesheet.

  Worse, I saw that giant man snap Kosuke’s neck in slow-motion. That moment when he’d cupped his chin and the back of his head and jerked hard. That reverberating crack that I’d felt in my bones and the thud of his body hitting the ground. Kosuke’s empty eyes staring at me, his mouth twisted in a scowl as if offended by the manner of his death. Had I slowed them down? Did I miss my chance to take a shot? Had I prevented Esai from getting a good shot of his own? Did my stupidity cost a good man his life?

  Under the hot spray of water, I curled into a ball on the floor of my shower and sobbed. I cried for my faults, for the flaws that Nicholas saw, for the lack of absolute loyalty from my assassins. I would never be as good as Jordan, as organized and efficient as Voss, or as open and accessible as Mikael. Everyone had been so impressed when I took over, amazed at my ability to manage such a big task and stay sane. I’d cruised through the building in my stupid high heels, my makeup flawless and my hair done like a pro. I’d worked the hours required and more. I’d gone to the gym on my own and still worked with my assassins. What caused me to crack? At what point had I become a liability? When had it all gone wrong?

  Sniffling, I wiped the tears and snot that had dribbled down my face, bathed, and got ready for my trip. I was to join Nicholas, Brett, their handlers, and Jordan for the first few days of the trip. We’d agreed that my continued presence in the city would be too much of a distraction for Nicholas. I’d better serve the mission from a distance, as much as I didn’t like the idea. Well, now it sounded perfect. I didn’t know how I’d stand the sight of him after his cruel words. Callousness wrapped in the pretty pink tissue of kindness. Harshness in the guise of consideration. I’d take the time away to consider how not to bash his skull in and how to stop caring so much.

  Before I left, I had one stop. I grabbed my suitcase and knocked on Dakarai’s door. He answered right away.

  “I thought you would disappear again without saying goodbye,” he chided. “One time I can forgive. Twice would have hurt my feelings.”

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I’ve been busy, and with everything going on, I’ve let things slip through the cracks. Ignoring you hasn’t been my intention.”

  “I know.” He waved me inside and guided me toward his couch. “You have not told me about your dreams lately. What of Ashor?”

  “He is vague and unhelpful. He has taught me the fundamentals of magic and says that you can instruct me further when the time comes.”

  Dakarai rubbed the fuzz of hair on his scalp and sighed. “I had hoped to avoid such a thing. Magic is a dangerous business. Ashor deems this necessary?”

  “Yes. Theory, spells, words, and action. All of it.”

  “Then I suppose we must.” He looked toward his bookcase. “There are many subjects I must brush up on if we are to study together. Carlo taught me, you know.”

  “When I get back from this trip, we should start.”

  “Agreed. And you? How have you been? Your eyes are red.”

  A watery smile crossed my face. “Oh, I’m fine. Just a mild existential crisis in the middle of everything that’s happening. No big deal.”

  “Care to talk about it?”

  Declining, I stood. “I should go. The vans will be headed toward the airport shortly.”

  “We’ll talk when you get back.”

  I smiled, stood on my toes, and kissed his cheek. “Yes, brother.”

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  I refused to ride in the same car as Nicholas on the way to the airport. Instead, I climbed into the rear vehicle. Much to my perverse delight, Jordan grimaced as he realized that he was in the same car as Nicholas and not me.

  The ride to the airport seemed quicker than the last time, and before I knew it, we were filing into the private jet we’d chartered for the cross-country six-hour trip. Nicholas sat beside me before I could object. As if nothing had happened, he noted that this was our first flight together.

  I snarled. He’d lost his damn mind. This wasn’t our anything together. There was no more us, no matter how he believed that he could win me over.

  “Jordan says that the house we’ve rented is in a shitty area, nowhere near the fun stuff.” Nicholas waited for a beat for a response from me. When I remained silent, he poked my uninjured side. “Before you go, we should try to sneak off to Hollywood. Do one of those tour bus rides.”

  I reached in my bag and pulled out a paperback.

  “Really?” Annoyed, he leaned in and whispered into my ear. “You can’t still be angry with me. You’re one of my favorite people in the world, and the last thing I want is to go into this mission knowing you’re unhappy. Forgive me?”

  “I will not,” I snapped. “The things you said… I can’t do this right now. Let’s focus on the mission.”

  Nicholas removed his arm from around my shoulders and turned toward Marin, who was seated across from us. For the better part of five hours, we ignored each other, me with my book and conversation with Hernandez and Nicholas with getting to know his handlers. Jordan sat behind us, and the one time I risked glancing back at him, he’d raised one eyebrow as if to say, “I know something’s going on. Want to talk about it?” I sighed and turned around without answering his silent question. I had thought I was off the hook, at least for the rest of the flight, but that turned out to be wishful thinking when he leaned over and spoke again.

  “I can’t believe you’re only staying two days,” said Nicholas.

  “Yeah. Everything in me says it’s best if I’m back on the East Coast and not a distraction for you, but I can’t help feel like I should be here. Just in case.”

  “In case of what? I can handle myself.”

  That anger flared up again. “You know what I mean.”

  “Yeah, that I’ll need you to bail me out. Cripes, Jas. Why don’t you trust me?”

  I crossed my arms and turned toward the window, unwilling to get into that argument again. Only some holy deity could save this plane from my wrath if Nicholas restarted his tirade.

  We didn’t speak to each other until we landed, and even then, it was stilted. Did I want help with my bags? No. Where would he like to sit? Next to me. Where were we going? Don’t know.

  I breathed a sigh of relief as we pulled up to a sizeable single-story house and parked in the driveway. The house had a long, low roofline and huge windows decorated with shutters painted sky blue. The front was covered in wooden slats the color of ripe peaches. Hernandez produced a set of keys from his pocket and opened the wide front door.

  “Wow,” said Candice. “This living room is huge.”

  Marin walked across the open space to the glass sliding doors. “Is that a pool back there?”

  “I know what I’ll do when it’s not my shift,” said Jones. “Gotta love the constant California sun.”

  Jordan disappeared down a long hallway and cursed. “Two bathrooms for nine people.”

  “How many bedrooms?” I asked.

  “Four. Candice and Marin will take one room. I’ll bunk with Brett and Jones. Hernandez and Smith, and you and Nicholas. Is that fine with everyone?”

  Everyone agreed, at least out loud. I’d rather have slept with Candice and Marin and have Nicholas with one of the guys. I was in no mood to share a bed with him, not when we couldn’t be civil to one another. Instead of making a fuss, I followed Nich
olas to the smallest bedroom and dropped my bag on the bed. He waited for me to speak. He could have kept waiting for all I cared. I walked back out and announced that I was starving. I wasn’t the only one, so Smith and Nicholas volunteered to find our dinner.

  “If you try to run, I’ll kill you,” said Jordan to Brett in a low voice. “If you step outside the house, I’ll kill you. Don’t even go into the backyard. The only place you’ll have privacy is in the bathroom, and you’ll be timed. Follow those rules, and we’ll get along great.”

  Brett gulped and nodded.

  “Where are we?” I asked Hernandez.

  He gave me that avuncular smile and patted the spot on the sofa next to him. “We’re in Van Nuys, also known as the porn capital of the country. It’s not a terrible place, but there are much nicer places to live in the San Fernando Valley.”

  There went my plans for sightseeing.

  Smith and Nicholas came back in record time, considering the late hour. They’d found a twenty-four-hour Mexican restaurant and bought several family-style platters. Within minutes, we were spread across the dining area and living room stuffing our faces with spicy deliciousness. Seasoned rice, juicy meats, refried beans, cheeses, tortillas, and a sweet drink called a horchata did backflips on my taste buds. This was better than any Mexican food I’d had back home.

  I was so stuffed that Nicholas had to half-drag me back to bed. I barely remembered stripping down to my underwear and crawling under the light blankets.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  MORNING REVEALED ITSELF THROUGH the flimsy shades in the form of glaring sunlight in my eyes. I shielded my face and checked my watch. It was seven in the morning, and the sun was already heating my skin through the window. Nicholas grunted and turned over. I considered pushing him off the bed for giggles.

  I reached into my suitcase and grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top. There was a sunny backyard perfect for a morning workout and to hell with the sleepyheads. I would enjoy myself somehow.

  As I stepped outside my room, the door across from me opened. Jordan smirked. He had donned his own workout clothes. He gestured for me to walk first.

  “Want to go for a run?” he asked.

  A jog around a Los Angeles neighborhood was something I’d never be able to do again, no matter how crappy the area was. The sun was shining in a cloudless sky, and the air was devoid of humidity. I grinned and headed toward the door.

  “Where are we going?”

  Jordan pointed south. “There’s a park with a path around a lake fifteen minutes from here. All we have to do is follow the freeway.”

  I wrinkled my nose at the thought of the massive five-lanes-in-each-direction monstrosity that was already packed with cars. “Is it a nice park?”

  “Yelp says yes. So?”

  “Let’s go.”

  We started off at a light trot as we acclimated to the traffic patterns and weather. We found a runner’s path in a tiny slice of green land along the freeway and traveled at a comfortable pace until we hit the park. It was beautiful. Full of palm trees and dirt paths, the park had signs pointing toward a million different facilities. We passed an archery range.

  “Let’s stop,” I said. “Please?”

  “It’s not open yet. Too early,” he chuckled. “Come on.”

  We picked up speed as we rounded a lake with crystal blue waters. A group of old men sat along the shore, remote controlling their model boats into the water while playfully arguing over whose boat was the most historically accurate. Toddlers and children with chubby cheeks tossed bread crumbs at the ducks, shrieking with laughter when the birds stalked over for more food. Cyclists whirred past us in organized packs. Underneath a copse of cedars, a group of elderly women moved through an unhurried Tai Chi practice.

  After two miles, we stopped near a farmer’s market, tired and parched. We ambled down the rows of fruits and vegetables that begged to be eaten. One vendor sold nothing but variations of organic honey while another boasted ten different kinds of hummus that were made just that morning. Jordan pulled my arm and dragged me toward a vendor who made fresh-squeezed orange juice while we waited. We took our juices and strolled back to the park’s web of paths.

  “This is none of my business,” he began.

  I held up a hand. “Keep it that way and don’t say anything.”

  Jordan stopped walking. “Whatever is going on with Nicholas has to stop. Make nice with him before we go home.”

  “What? Why?” I stared at him with disbelief.

  “Because,” he said, as if explaining to a child, “he’s about to embark on the most dangerous thing he’s ever done. A lot hinges on his ability to focus, and the last thing he needs is to think about an argument with his girlfriend.”

  “Ex-girlfriend,” I corrected. “And he’s an asshole.”

  His lips twitched. “At least we agree on something. It doesn’t matter right now. You can settle your issues when he gets back. Do you want him thinking about whatever has you upset while he’s trying to prove himself to Carlo?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend, and you decided that it was a good idea for me to sleep with him.”

  Jordan snorted. “I thought that you’d make him sleep on the floor.”

  “It hadn’t occurred. It was awkward and infuriating. He wouldn’t shut up.”

  “One more night,” he said. “That’s all I’m asking. He thinks that he still has a shot with you. Convince him that whatever is between you is reparable, or at least better. Put the Order first.”

  Ouch.

  I met his eyes and tried to smile. “Okay, then. For the Order. I’ll play nice. Doesn’t mean I forgive him.”

  “That’s between you and him. When we leave tomorrow, he needs to believe that all is well and that he’ll come home to someone who’s missed him and worried about him.”

  “He needs to come home to his boss.”

  “Whatever. The last thing I want is a depressed and moping idiot in the field. He’ll make stupid choices because he won’t feel like anyone back home cares. I’d tell you that this is just business and that he needs to get over himself. But too much is on the line and St. Nicholas is too wrapped up in you right now to think straight. Play the game for a little while.”

  That seemed cruel, even by my standards, and I told him so. “I’d rather that he did the job and left me alone.”

  “You know him better than I do. Is he going to give up?”

  “No,” I admitted. “He’s using this as an opportunity to prove himself or some nonsense. I won’t lead him on.”

  “Let him think you’re okay being good friends. Remind him that you care even if you don’t.” Jordan slurped the last of his orange juice and tossed the cup into a nearby trash can. “Want to race back?”

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  Nicholas was just waking up when I walked into our bedroom, fresh from a shower. He scowled at my appearance. “Where’d you go?”

  “Around,” I said. “Jordan and I ran through a park.” I wrinkled my nose. “I also inhaled an ungodly amount of exhaust fumes. How was your rest, sleepyhead?”

  He eyed me. “Fine. Why are you so cheerful?”

  “We have less than forty-eight hours together in Los Angeles. I think I convinced Jordan that the world won’t end if we drive through Hollywood and Beverly Hills after you all pick up the vehicles. We should take advantage.”

  “Oh?” he said, shuffling into a sitting position. He rubbed his face with his hands and waited for me to continue.

  “I understand where you’re coming from. You worry about me and want to protect me. I should be willing to at least listen to you,” I said, trying not to gag on the words I didn’t mean. “It’s something I’ll think about.”

  “You’ll think about everything I said?”

  I stopped myself from vomiting and smiled as I sat down at the edge of the bed and put my hand on his knee. Surviving this clusterfuck of destroying this hydra-like cult was of paramount importance. I’d deal w
ith the pretty pictures in his head once we survived this madness.

  “Yes. We can talk about everything when this is over and you’re home safe.”

  Nicholas exhaled and smiled. “Thank the gods. When this is over, we’ll go on vacation. We’ll leave the world behind, and when we get back, we can start with a brand new you.”

  Yup, that pretty picture in my head just burst into a million tiny pieces. The too-familiar rage swelled in my chest. I counted to ten, then to thirty, then to fifty, and lifted my head and smiled. “That’s fantastic.”

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  By noon, I’d done an outstanding job of convincing Nicholas that all was well in our world. He twirled the ends of my hair, held my hand, or kept his arm around my shoulders at all times.

  “Sweetheart,” said Nicholas, “Hernandez suggested that we go to a firing range today. I can shoot well enough, but he wants me to be comfortable with the weapons he selected for me. Don’t you think his idea is smart?”

  Hernandez and I had discussed this when he was still asleep, so I’d known about the plan. I pretended that Nick’s refusal to acknowledge my leadership didn’t bug me. “It’s a great idea,” I said. “I’ll join you. It’s been a few days since I’ve been to the range.”

  “We don’t want to attract too much of a crowd, so we should limit the trip to the mission personnel. Besides, someone has to watch Brett.”

  She barked out a sneering laugh. Keep him in good spirits, says the beast. Will he ask you to bed this idiot next for the sake of the cause? Whose side is he on?

  I repressed a shudder and made a note to ask Jordan just that. Seething, I forced my lips into a smile. “Good point. You’re thinking like a strategist. I can work on my tan while you’re busy.”

  He beamed and kissed my cheek. “Shame you didn’t bring a swimsuit. You could have enjoyed the pool.”