LIPSTICK AND LIES AND DEADLY GOODBYES

by Jodi Vaughn

  I looked at him and blinked. “Maybe later.” I looked back down at the ice cream. “Right now, you need to leave. People can’t see us together,” I hissed.

  “Whatever, Roadkill. Keep those emotions under control so I can continue living my undead life.” He glared, then turned and walked out the door without a word.

  What the hell had I done to him? It wasn’t like I had asked his stinky ass to turn me into a vampire.

  Vampire. That was a topic I was so not ready to deal with. First mental breakdown was going to be dealing with my cheating husband. I’d deal with the whole vampire stuff later.

  “Mom, are you getting something?” Gabby called out.

  I turned and smiled. “Nope. Can’t decide,” I lied. My stomach couldn’t handle anything in it. Especially not anything sweet.

  I slid into the seat next to Arianna. I was thankful that Gabby sat next to her father. There was no way I could stand being inches away from him without plowing my fist into his face.

  “Mom, spill,” Arianna said between bites of her ice cream. “I know something is different. You might as well tell me now.”

  I froze and, for a second, thought my heart had stopped beating in my chest. My gaze flittered around the near-empty store to see if we had drawn any attention.

  Sam was busy washing up the ice cream scoopers and bowls. A couple sat huddled together, obviously either dating or newlyweds, sharing a banana split, while a small family of three stood near the counter, trying to decide which flavor to get.

  No one was looking at me except my daughters and Miles.

  “What do you mean?” Miles asked, his voice tight.

  I was relieved that I wasn’t the only one who was nervous.

  “Oh my God.” Arianna rolled her eyes. “It’s so obvi.” She pointed her spoon at my face. “You look different, Mom. You look…younger.” She stuck her spoon back into her scoop of ice cream and narrowed her eyes. “How much Botox did you get done this weekend?”

  A laugh bubbled out of me as the tension slid like butter off my shoulders.

  “I mean, come on, Mom.” She leaned forward. “Whoever did your Botox this time did a really good job. Those little lines around your eyes are completely gone. Not to mention your elevens.”

  Elevens?” Gabby frowned. “What’s elevens?”

  “I think she means the lines you get between your eyes when you frown all the time.” I pulled Gabby up against me and snuggled her blond head.

  “My teacher, Mrs. Smith, must have equal marks.” She giggled. “But she frowns all the time, especially when Billy acts up in class.”

  “No doubt.” I laughed.

  “Spill, Mom. You had more than just Botox.” Gabby cocked her head. “You’ve lost weight, too.”

  “I just had a very busy weekend and haven’t had time to eat very much,” I assured her with my lie.

  “Well, you look really great,” Arianna said and picked up a spoonful of rocky road. She looked at Miles. “Doesn’t she, Dad?”

  My eyes flashed to Miles. He hadn’t said anything about my appearance since the shit hit the fan this weekend. I didn’t think he’d even notice. He was too busy trying to cover his ass.

  “She looks beautiful as always.” He smiled at Arianna.

  His words fell flat.

  I remembered in church one time, we’d taken a test in our couple’s class. It had talked about how to better relate to one another. The material talked about how everyone speaks a different love language. Miles’ love language was acts of service. It made sense to me. He loved coming home to a clean house and a hot-cooked meal, especially after working late hours at the hospital.

  My love language was different. I needed words of affirmation. Miles had told me it probably came from the fact that I was orphaned at an early age and put into foster care after my parents had been killed. He’d said that words of affirmation made me feel worthy.

  Tonight, his words didn’t make me feel anything but sad.

  Because tonight they were coming out of the mouth of a liar.

  “Mommy always looks beautiful,” Gabby said to her sister.

  “Thank you, sweetie.” I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the tears from flowing. The words from my child’s mouth held a different meaning. They meant the world to me because they were my world.

  “Finish up so we can go home,” Miles said. He gathered his coat from the back of the booth.

  My stomach clenched. I didn’t know if things were going to get better or worse once we got home. I didn’t want to start a scene in front of the girls. They didn’t deserve that. Miles had broken our family.

  It was up to me to put it back together.

  Chapter 14

  My stomach cramped all the way home. The girls had ridden back with me while Miles followed behind us.

  I opened the kitchen door, and the girls rushed past me and dropped their bags on the floor before heading to their rooms.

  “Pick up your stuff,” I called after them. I didn’t count on them to obey, nor did I care at this moment. Miles would be walking in soon, and I needed the distraction of everyday life.

  The cramps grew worse. I placed my hand over my stomach and hissed in a breath at the pain.

  “You okay?” Miles narrowed his eyes at me. I hated his look of concern because I didn’t trust it.

  “Probably just that time of the month,” I said and straightened.

  “When’s the last time you ate?”

  “Friday morning,” I said. I didn’t want to tell him anything about me. I felt like I was divulging secrets to a stranger.

  “No wonder your stomach hurts. You’re probably hungry.” He shrugged.

  “I probably have an ulcer.” I glared.

  “I’m going to take a shower.” He ignored my last barb and headed towards the bedroom.

  The pain swept across my stomach again, and I wasn’t sure why. These cramps felt worse than anything I’d ever experienced. Even labor pains.

  I bounded to the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

  White-hot pain spread across my stomach. I sank to my knees and cradled my belly. I bit my lip to keep from crying out.

  “Mom, tell Gabby to stop going in my room,” Arianna called out from the other side of the door.

  I gripped the sink and forced my feet under me. I couldn’t let her see me like this. I had to get this under control.

  “Just a second.” I tried to keep my voice calm and even, but it hitched when another round of pain sliced through me.

  “God, I’m dying,” I murmured as I lifted my eyes to the mirror.

  I saw my reflection, eyes tight with pain, and lips pressed into a thin, white line. My breathing had turned to pants as I tried to keep from crying out.

  I stared at the mirror.

  My reflection in the mirror began to shift and change until, suddenly, I was looking into the face of Khalan.

  Shit. I was really losing it.

  “You’re not losing it,” he said.

  I screamed and jumped back from the mirror.

  “Mom, you okay in there?” Arianna called out.

  “Yes, yes. Just thought I saw a spider.” I narrowed my eyes at Khalan.

  “Gross. Well, kill it before it makes spider babies in the wall.” Arianna’s footsteps headed away from the door.

  “What are you doing? How can I see you in the mirror?” I hissed and grimaced at the pain.

  “Because I can feel what you’re feeling. Remember?” He cocked his head, looking none too pleased. “You’re in pain because your body needs blood.”

  “What?” My eyes widened slightly. The second he mentioned the word blood, my stomach cramped again, and a sudden craving washed over me. I licked my lips, and Khalan smiled.

  “Admit it. You want blood.” He grinned, looking very predatory.

  My craving intensified.

  “Stop saying that,” I hissed.

  “Stop saying what? Blood?” he taunted and cocked his hea
d. He was clearly enjoying my discomfort.

  “Yes.” I dug my nails into the counter of the sink and squeezed my eyes shut.

  “Rachel.” His voice, deep and controlled, made me obey him, and I opened my eyes.

  “What do you want from me?” Tears gathered in my eyes and slid out of the corners and down my cheeks.

  “Why do you fight this?” This time, his voice was harsher, and I knew from the tone that he was angry.

  “In a few hours, my life has been destroyed, devastated, and burned to the fucking ground. I’m in my house with my children, and I’m trying to protect them from what their father has done. My heart is shattered, and now I’m in the worst pain of my life. I fight what you claim I am because I’m a mother and I will always fight to protect my children.”

  Khalan held my gaze, not saying anything.

  “Do something,” I said through gritted teeth.

  He sighed heavily. “Fine. Go out in your backyard. I left you something that will stop the pain. But hurry up. You don’t want it to cool off.”

  And just like that, his face was gone, and I was staring at my own reflection again.

  I opened the bathroom door and peered out. I didn’t see anyone, so I silently made my way to the back door. I stepped out into the backyard.

  The pool was uncovered, and snow still lingered in the flower beds. We’d just had the pool people come out to get it ready for spring break. When the freak snowstorm hit, I hadn’t thought to re-cover it. Now, worrying about the pool was the furthest thing from my mind.

  The cold wind caressed my skin as I stepped farther into the backyard. I glanced around, trying to see what Khalan had left for me. Near one of the columns of the outdoor living space sat a small, blue cooler.

  I glanced back at the house to make sure my family wasn’t looking at me through the windows. I could see Arianna in the kitchen, grabbing something to drink.

  I hurried over to the cooler, the snow crunching under my shoes.

  I squatted and opened the lid.

  Inside was a stainless-steel coffee cup with a lid.

  I picked up the container and noticed that it felt warm in my hands. I tried to pry the plastic lid off the cup, but it was sealed tight.

  I lifted it to my nose and sniffed.

  The tempting, sweet scent filled my nose and made my mouth water. An intense craving shot through my stomach, and before I knew it, I was placing my lips against the small opening and tilting up the cup.

  Liquid, warm and sweet, slid into my mouth and down my throat. The silky-smooth texture coated my tongue, and I nearly groaned as I swallowed the sweet elixir.

  It tasted like red roses and dark chocolate.

  I held the cup to my lips and drank deeply until I emptied the cup.

  I lifted my head to the sky and sighed with pleasure.

  “Mom, what are you doing out there?” Gabby called out from the door.

  I turned my head and smiled. “Just looking at the night.”

  My body felt warm and tingly all over, and my stomach cramps were gone.

  I didn’t think I’d ever felt so good.

  Gabby bounded outside in her PJs and boots, giggling as she ran to me.

  I bent and gathered her in my arms and held her close.

  “I like the snow.” She laid her head on my shoulder and sighed. “I pretend that I have a castle in the mountains covered with snow. I have a dragon, and we fly over the trees at night when the moon is full.”

  “Sounds like fun.” I smiled and hugged her tightly.

  “I wish I could fly, Mommy.” She lifted her head and looked at me.

  “If you could fly, where would you go? If you could fly, you might keep flying and never come back to me. And that would make me very sad.”

  “I’ll always come back to you, Mommy.” Gabby giggled and pressed her hands to either side of my face. “I’ll even take you flying with me.”

  “You will?” I grinned and rubbed my nose against hers.

  “Yes! You could hold my hand, and I’d be strong enough to take you with me. We will fly above the trees, so high that we could touch the moon.” Her eyes sparkled as she talked.

  Gabby was my dreamer, my girl with her head in the clouds. While other girls her age wanted to fit in, she was determined to stand out. Miles was always trying to rein her in, but I secretly loved it.

  My princess rebel. I wished I had her optimism, her fearlessness. I needed that now more than ever.

  “What are you doing outside in your PJs? You’re going to get pneumonia,” Miles called out from the door.

  I turned and studied his expression. He was squinting as he tried to see what we were doing.

  “We’re looking at the sky, Daddy.” Gabby giggled.

  “Well, there’s snow on the ground. You two need to get inside before you both get sick. The flu is going around, you know.” He narrowed his eyes and walked back inside, shutting the door.

  Gabby looked at me and rolled her eyes.

  “He needs to have a little fun,” she said.

  A laugh bubbled out of me and was swallowed up by the dark night.

  It felt good to laugh. Even if I knew the happiness wouldn’t last. I needed it. I needed Gabby’s innocence to remind me of the good things.

  “We better go inside,” I whispered near her ear.

  “All right. But, tonight, can you read me that story? You know the one about the girl and the dragon.”

  I blinked. “Of course. It’s been a while since you asked me to read you a story.” She usually stayed up late reading under her covers with a flashlight.

  If Miles got up in the middle of the night to go to the hospital, he would usually catch her still reading and get on her. But I didn’t mind. A girl who loved to read would become a powerful woman.

  She giggled and jumped down. She ran toward the house with her dark hair bouncing in the light of the moon.

  I smiled as she ran into the house, leaving the door open for me to follow.

  My Gabby.

  I picked up the stainless-steel coffee mug and pried off the top. Despite the dark, my eyes adjusted very well.

  Odd. I usually hated driving at night because the headlights made my vision blur. Now, I could see the bottom of the cup and the red drops of liquid left behind.

  I frowned and lifted the cup to my nose and inhaled.

  It still smelled of roses and chocolate, but there was another scent mingled with it.

  A coppery scent.

  My stomach had stopped cramping, and I’d just drunk something red and thick.

  My heart nearly stopped.

  It couldn’t be.

  I clutched the cup to my chest and ran for the house. I bounded inside, forgetting to shut the door behind me. I set the cup down on the quartz countertop in the kitchen and scraped my finger along the inside wall.

  I pulled out my finger and looked at the red smear.

  “Geez, Mom, is that blood? Did you cut yourself?” Arianna froze in her tracks and wrinkled her nose.

  “I…ah…” Words wouldn’t form on my tongue, and something dark settled in my gut. I didn’t want to think about what I had just drunk. But the evidence was there on my finger.

  “Dad, Mom cut herself,” Arianna called out. Miles came into the kitchen, concern stretched across his face when he saw the blood on my finger.

  “What happened?” He grabbed a dishtowel and covered my finger. He held it up above my heart to stop the bleeding.

  I couldn’t tell him that I wasn’t bleeding, nor that it wasn’t my blood. Oh, God…that thought settled over me in a nauseating rush.

  I drank blood. A lot of it. I didn’t even know whose or what kind it was.

  I could have contracted some kind of disease like Hepatitis or HIV.

  “I’m fine.” I snatched my finger out of Miles’ grip and hurried toward my bathroom.

  “Rachel, I need to see if you need stitches,” Miles called after me.

  I didn’t slow m
y speed but headed into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

  I whipped the towel off my finger and stuck my finger into my mouth. I moaned at the sweet taste of the blood on my tongue.

  It couldn’t be. I couldn’t be craving blood. This was not happening.

  I opened my eyes and stared at my reflection. The image began to blur, just like before, and suddenly, I was staring at Khalan again.

  A little smirk played on his bearded lips.

  “What did you give me? Tell me it wasn’t…” I couldn’t say the word out loud. If I said it aloud, it would make it real.

  “Blood. Yes, you just downed a sixteen-ounce tumbler of blood.”

  “Oh, God.” My knees felt wobbly as white stars danced in front of my eyes.

  “Stop your bitching,” he groused. “You feel better, right? The cramps are gone, yes?” He crossed his large arms over his chest and glared.

  “Yes, but I didn’t want to drink blood to feel better.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “Too bad. It’s what you do now. You drink blood.”

  “Where did you get it?” I needed to know.

  “Let’s say a donor.” He snorted. He had smiled more in the past ten seconds than in all the time I’d known him.

  “You killed someone.” I shook my head. “Why didn’t you just kill a chicken or deer or…?”

  “An animal? Kill an animal so you can live? You are so fucking selfish.” His smile slid off his face.

  “So it was human blood?” I swallowed. I hated to admit that the thought didn’t repulse me like it should. It should have made me queasy. But, no. Here, I was literally drooling thinking about sucking on some poor human’s neck.

  “Of course, it was human blood. Human blood is much stronger than animals’ blood.”

  “What will it do to me? I mean, it didn’t have any disease like Hepatitis or worse, did it?” My heart thumped faster in my chest.

  “Of course, not. I wouldn’t have given you corrupted blood.”

  “Would corrupt blood have killed me?”

  “No. It’d just make you sick to your stomach. Not that you would have drunk the whole thing anyway. You would have smelled the taint before you took the first sip.”

  I blew out a breath. At least that was good news.