COWBOY (Unfit Hero Book 5)

by Hayley Faiman

  Without another word, I watch as he turns and walks away from me. I don’t call out to him or ask him to stop. I let him go. He leaves and I stand there for far longer than I should, staring at the closed door—thinking.

  Just thinking.

  I think about everything, about my career, about Sebastian and the Russian mafia, but mostly I think about Ford, with another woman. I think about another woman carrying his baby, living in his family’s farmhouse, fucking him in that little house that he remodeled for me.

  Maybe he would be happier without me. Maybe he would have everything he wanted, but I would be miserable.

  Completely and totally miserable.

  I planned on going back to Gallup, year after year, and it all became too hard. I was a fucking chicken, part of it was because I knew without a doubt that seeing Ford married with children would kill me.

  Now that I’ve gone, that I’ve seen he didn’t get married, never had children. Now that I’ve had him again, I can’t imagine another woman anywhere near him, I might kill the both of them, but then again, do I want to be at his side? Do I want to potentially give my life up here to be his little wifey?

  I just don’t know.

  FORD

  “Place is lookin’ right pretty, cousin.” Jimmy whistles as he jumps out of his pickup truck.

  Grinning, I walk over to the passenger side and open the door for his wife, Erica. She smiles at me as I hold out my hand to her and help her down. I’m surprised to see that she’s very pregnant with another baby.

  “Hey there, Ford. It’s so good to see you,” she announces as she wraps her arms around me for a hug.

  “Good to see you, too,” I murmur.

  Taking a step back, I wonder what the fuck Jimmy was thinking bringing her here. She can’t help us, not being this far along. Fuck, it’s going to make twice the amount of work for us and of course, I feel bad, so I’m going to pay him two goddamn wages. Fuck.

  “Jimmy,” I grunt. He jogs around the truck to give me a handshake, I pull him in for a seemingly cousinly hug. “What the fuck, man?”

  He coughs. “She’ll help out, she’ll pull her weight, swear it.”

  “I won’t let her,” I state.

  He’s quiet for a moment as we break apart. I shake my head as I look at them. “What’s it gonna be this time?” I ask, dipping my chin toward her belly, changing the subject. I’m still pissed though and I’ll be talking to Jimmy when she isn’t around, that’s for damn sure.

  Erica’s smile widens. It’s so fucking big that I can’t help but match it. “A girl, finally,” she squeals.

  “Three boys and a girl, that poor little one’ll never get a date,” I chuckle.

  “Damn straight,” Jimmy barks, sliding his arm around his wife’s shoulders.

  All of my irritation disappears at the sight of them. They’re happy, truly happy. I know they don’t have much, never have, but they have one another and their babies and that’s all they need. I’m jealous as fuck.

  “C’mon inside, I got a brisket smokin’. Erica can you help me with sides? I suck at that shit,” I grunt.

  “Of course, Ford. I just really appreciate you lettin’ us come and do this. Gets us away for a little break and gives us enough to make sure the kids have a good Christmas every year. You’re our saving grace,” she admits. “I know I can’t do as much as Bubba, but I’m here to help.”

  My heart squeezes. I should spend more time with family. I should be buying Christmas gifts for all my cousins’ kids. I should be doing more for all of them instead of staying holed up in my house, on my ranch, away from everyone.

  We go inside, Erica gets busy doing far too fucking much, but I don’t tell her to stop, she’s far too determined. Jimmy and I head out back to the smoker and I grab us each a beer.

  “I’m sorry, cuz,” he grunts.

  “Nah, it’s okay. I put some snacks and drinks out in the little house for y’all,” I murmur. “We’ll start at six in the mornin’.”

  “We’ll be at the barn, what Erica said… we really do appreciate this. I know that I’m kind of a fuck up, but I try not to be, for my kids at least.”

  “You’re good, Jimmy.”

  We’re both silent for a moment, then Jimmy lifts his hand and I feel his fingers squeeze my shoulder. “You’re the best family a man could have, Ford. When are you going to find your happiness, cuz?”

  His words cause my chest to ache. Happiness. What the fuck does that even mean? I’m just hoping for contentment at this point in my life. My happiness ran away from me—twice. I don’t answer him, there are no words to even say to that. Not a single fucking thing.

  Chapter Nineteen

  STEPHANIE

  My second meeting with the Russian mob boss isn’t any less scary than the first, in fact, I think that it could be scarier. Chewing on my bottom lip, I glance around the house in front of me. Why he’s asked me to come to his home, alone, I don’t know.

  Inhaling a deep breath, I open my car door and slide out, standing as tall as I can. Slowly, I make my way toward the front door. Lifting my hand, I extend my index finger and touch the doorbell. I kind of hope nobody hears it, or me.

  Looking around the property, I’m not surprised that he has a house up on a hill with a million-dollar view of the valley. It’s gorgeous. Honestly, I don’t even know if I could afford the home. It’s that nice.

  The door slowly opens and I’m met with a drop-dead gorgeous blonde. She smiles, her eyes searching my face before she shakes her head once and stands to the side.

  “You must be Stephanie.”

  I’m surprised that she doesn’t have any accent at all, she sounds like a born and bred Californian. “I am.” I nod, taking one step toward her, then another.

  “Come on inside, Kirill is expecting you. The kids will be home from school in about an hour, he doesn’t like to be gone when they arrive,” she says as she rolls her eyes.

  “He doesn’t?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “He missed a lot with our first daughter, he doesn’t want to miss a moment with the others. He is a devoted family man.”

  My lips part in awe, the idea that this man who is completely in love with his wife, is also a devoted family man completely floors me.

  It also makes me wonder if Beaumont could be right, could I leave all of this behind, say fuck my career, and go home to Ford, where I feel like I belong, where my heart feels, fulfilled?

  “That’s beautiful,” I say.

  She nods her head, her gaze shifting behind me, no doubt looking at her man. “More than you could ever know,” she exhales. “He’s waiting for you out back. Straight ahead, he’s out there.”

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “Stephanie?” she calls out after I take a couple of steps past her.

  Stopping, I turn around to look back at her. Her face softens as she looks at me. “Whatever it is, following your heart will always be worth it in the end, no matter the road.”

  “I did that once,” I whisper.

  “And it was worth it, was it not?”

  Nodding, I lick my bottom lip. “It was.”

  “Then do it a second time. Sometimes we get to the point where our desires change. That’s okay, to go back to where you know you belong, after you’ve gone in a completely different direction.”

  It’s as if she knows everything I’m thinking. Nodding my head, my eyes water, but I swallow down the tears, not allowing them to fall down my cheeks. I don’t verbally respond to her words, instead I hold her gaze, then turn and make my way toward the double glass doors that take me out back.

  Kirill is standing with his back to me, his body facing his gorgeous view. He doesn’t say anything and I think that he hasn’t heard my approach, but he finally speaks without turning around.

  “You met my Tati?”

  “I didn’t get her name,” I admit.

  He chuckles. “She knows that you’re business, probably didn’t give it on purpose, b
ut she got your name, no?”

  “She did,” I say with a small laugh of my own.

  He hums. “She’s a good wife. A great partner,” he murmurs.

  “You have a proposition for me?” I ask.

  He clears his throat as I approach and stand at his side, one step back. He turns his head, then the rest of his body to face me.

  “Sebastian is his own man. Why have you chosen to take on his debts, just for the videos? For your career?”

  “At first, yes.”

  “You have no love for him?”

  I think about Sebastian, about how he tried to leave me at the restaurant, about how he sold photos of my bare breasts to the paparazzi. Then, I think about how he threatened to sell the video to the media as well, a video that I didn’t even know existed.

  “I don’t think I ever did have love for him,” I admit. “He was an actor, it was easy.”

  “The man you love is not an actor?”

  Laughing softly, I think about Ford on a movie set, he would be an absolute mess. “No, he’s not. He’s so far from an actor it’s not even funny. He’s a cattle rancher.”

  Kirill’s brows lift to the sky, obviously surprised by Ford’s career. “We were engaged to be married once,” I say, apparently deciding to give him my entire life story. “I ran from him and came out here to follow my dream.”

  “He waited for you?”

  Shaking my head, I turn to look out at the beautiful City of Angels below. “No, but yes. We never found anyone else. Neither of us. We reconnected a few weeks ago and it was wonderful.”

  “But Sebastian called you.”

  “Yeah, it’s for the better. Ford wouldn’t like this life.”

  “Do you like this life?” he asks.

  Flicking my gaze back to meet his, I shake my head. “Not really, not anymore.”

  “That is your answer then, krasavitsa. Go to him, be where you’re happy.”

  “I don’t want to see Sebastian hurt. I don’t like him, but I don’t wish bad things on him.”

  Kirill’s eyes never leave mine, and they express nothing to me as he stares at me. “I cannot promise you anything. All I can say is that dead men do not pay their debts. So, rest assured, he will not die if I have anything to say about it.”

  “Can you tell me what will happen?” I ask.

  His lips twitch into a small smile. “I cannot. Just know, you have my protection, nothing will happen to you.”

  “If I don’t help him, he’s going to sell the videos of me,” I whisper.

  Kirill lets out a loud bark of laughter. “I’ve destroyed them. The footage you speak of no longer exists. Not only have I destroyed the copies he held, I also destroyed the originals. If one was to ever resurface, he understands that he will answer to me.”

  “Why are you doing this?” I ask.

  He lifts his hand, reaching out he cups my cheek. Goosebumps break out over my entire body from his surprisingly warm touch. “Because, krasavitsa. No woman should live in fear and be manipulated, not like that. Go home.”

  “Okay,” I exhale.

  He shakes his head. “No, go home to be with your cowboy. It is where you should be. Not here. You are not Sterling LaRue. You are Stephanie. Now go on, find your happiness. I think you deserve it and so does this cowboy, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Turning away from him, I walk back to my car. I don’t bother talking to Kirill’s wife, she’s surrounded by their children. They eye me, but wisely don’t ask any questions. I hear Kirill’s voice boom behind me, speaking in Russian that I do not understand as I make my way toward my car.

  I want that.

  I want a husband.

  I want children.

  I want my husband to be home, waiting for my children to come home from school every fucking day.

  Starting my car, I shift it into reverse and back down Kirill’s steep driveway. I head home with a single plan in mind. Pack my shit, sell my house, break all of my contracts and leave Hollywood behind me.

  I know what I want in life. I want Ford.

  FORD

  Jimmy stepped up, truly. Once the last steer is loaded, I lock the trailer and look behind me at both he and Erica. She’s got an apron on, I recognize it immediately and swear to fuck my heart squeezes. It’s my mama’s.

  “I’m going to cook while y’all are away. That’s okay?” she asks. “You don’t have anything worthy of eating in that pantry or freezer, Ford Matthews.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek, shaking my head. She sounds just like a mother, just like my own mother. “Yes ma’am,” I chuckle.

  “I’m just going to make you some preserves and casseroles to freeze. You want some pickles and canned vegetables?”

  I don’t have the heart to tell her that I don’t eat vegetables unless one of the guy’s wives forces them on me. “Just let her can the fuckin’ vegetables,” Jimmy mumbles next to me.

  My shoulders shake as I try to keep from bursting out laughing. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” I smile.

  “You boys’ll only be gone a few days, right?”

  “Yeah, ‘bout five, maybe six,” I say.

  She nods. “I better get to work then.”

  “Lemme leave you some cash for all your projects,” I offer.

  She shakes her head, but I don’t even let her speak. Shoving a wad of bills toward her, I’m glad when she takes it without fighting me. “Kitchen in the main house is bigger, you can stay there while we’re away. I’d feel better if you did.”

  Erica nods. Taking my keys out of my pocket, I hand her the keys to my daddy’s old truck, my old truck. “You need to take that into town, feel free.”

  “I can take ours,” she says, thrusting her thumb behind her at their pickup.

  “I’d feel better if you had a backup.” I smile.

  She takes the keys from me, and I watch as Jimmy makes his way up to her. Turning my back to them, I walk over to my other pickup and climb into the driver’s seat, not really wanting to see their goodbye.

  Seeing Jimmy and Erica together the past few days solidifies the fact that I am miserably fucking alone. Since all of my friends have coupled up, I’ve been feeling stagnant, but having Stephanie slide into my life, show me what it could be, then skate right back out again has me completely fucked up.

  Jimmy jumps into the truck a few minutes later and we’re off to Fort Worth. We drive in silence for a little while, then he clears his throat and it’s obvious that he wants to talk.

  “You ain’t married, don’t got a woman. You have the room, the house, the nice cattle business. Why?”

  I was hoping that we wouldn’t come back to this conversation, but it seems as though it’s a never-ending fucking conversation whether it’s friends, family, or me thinking to my goddamn self.

  “Workin’ on it,” I mutter.

  We don’t say anything else, I’ve effectively shut that shit down. My phone rings and I grab it off of my dash, sliding my thumb across the screen. I don’t look at the caller ID, my focus on the road.

  “Found her, talked to her,” Beaumont announces.

  I didn’t doubt that he would find her, it’s the state in which he did that has me worried, though I’m not sure why I’m worried at all.

  I’m moving on, right?

  Why the fuck would I even care?

  Except that I do, too much.

  “There’s some shit going down, I don’t know what the outcome is going to be, but I think you need to come here. Be here for her.”

  “Soon as I do what I’m headed to do, that’s exactly where I’m going.”

  “Good,” he grunts. “She didn’t tell me everything, but that fuck was going to leak a sex tape, one she didn’t even know that he filmed. He’s threatened her, she’s worried it’s going to ruin her career, her life. She’s scared and she ran here to try to fix it.”

  “I’ll kill him,” I growl, gripping the steering wheel tightly. I knew he was threatening her with somethin
g. I also know that there is no doubt a hell of a lot more to the story.

  He clears his throat. “I think he’s in some kind of trouble. It didn’t take much digging, but I asked around a little, and he has been seen with some not good guys. I’m guessing it’s all intertwined.”

  “I go there, she’s coming home with me, I’m not giving her a choice.”

  “You won’t hear me complain. The two of you, always meant to be, since we were five years old, Ford.”

  His words, they make my stomach ache, because he’s right. I’ve loved Stephanie one way or another since we were kids. She’s always been mine, always been special to me. I’ve always loved her, never stopped.

  “Just hope she don’t complain either,” I grumble.

  “Doubt she will. Looked fucking tore the fuck up when I saw her.”

  We shoot the shit for a few more minutes, then I end the call, focusing on the road again until Jimmy speaks up next to me.

  “That your happiness callin’ on you, cuz?”

  “Damn straight.”

  “You goin’ after it?”

  “Damn fuckin’ straight,” I bark.

  “Atta boy.”

  My lips curl up into a smile and I feel that atta boy rush throughout my entire body. Damn fucking straight. I’m going to head back out to California, except this time, I’m not coming back empty-handed. I’m bringing Stephanie back home where she has always belonged, by my side.

  Chapter Twenty

  STEPHANIE

  There’s a knock on my front door and my entire body jumps at the sound. Chewing on my bottom lip, I tiptoe over to the peephole and look through. Damion is standing on the other side, and while I let out a sigh of relief, I also have an instant feeling of dread.