by Robin Martin
People to meet, yes. Books and knowledge are something else. I’m not a nerd, you know. I shifted my bag to the other shoulder and crossed the street to the bus stop. And no funny business, I told it. Just stay in the background and let me get on with things. It’s my life, you know.
Correction, our lives, the alien said. We are bonded now.
I made a pucking sound. Stop saying that, I said.
I decided to walk to my friend Jas’s bus stop so I could talk to her. I wasn’t ready to confide in her yet, but maybe, at the right moment, I could tell her the truth and we could work together to get me out of this dilemma.
‘Zoe!’ She gave me a hug. ‘It’s so good to see you again. We really missed you at Sam’s party.’
I grimaced. ‘Don’t remind me about everything I missed. The beach was such a drag. I hated it. I mean, who goes to the beach in winter? I couldn’t even go swimming.’
Maybe that would’ve gotten rid of the alien. If I’d thought of that earlier I might even have braved the icy waves. I was willing to try just about anything at this point.
‘Never mind,’ Jas said, ‘there’s another get-together this weekend at Chelsea’s place. You’ve got to go to this one. Everyone will be there.’ She flicked her blonde hair over her shoulders. ‘That is, everyone who counts.’
I knew she was telling the truth. Those were the only kind of parties Jas ever attended.
‘I’ll have to be super-persuasive about this one,’ I said. ‘Mum’s not real keen on Chelsea since her party last term. Mum doesn’t think Chelsea’s mum is very responsible, not after she saw one of the boys drinking when she picked me up.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Parents.’
Jas nodded sympathetically. ‘I know.’
The bus pulled up and we got on. I nodded to a couple of friends, but Jas and I moved to the back where we could talk. I felt, rather than heard, my alien stirring inside me. I gave it a silent warning to be quiet. It seemed to work.
Jas filled me in on all the gossip that had happened over the holidays. It only made me more depressed to hear about everything I’d missed. And then I had a thought—if I hadn’t gone on holiday I wouldn’t have this stupid alien now. That really was a bummer.
When we got to school we had to go our separate ways. Jas had maths and I had English.
‘Hey, Zoe,’ she said before she left, ‘why don’t you tell your parents you’re spending the night at my place? That way you can go to the party with me and come home with me, and they won’t know a thing.’
I hesitated. I had never really lied to Mum and Dad before and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. ‘I’ll think about it,’ I said.
Jas shrugged. ‘Whatever. See you later.’
I walked slowly to E block and my English class, thinking about Jas’s idea. She was super-popular and at long last she considered me a friend. I didn’t want anything to jeopardise that.
Forget it, Zoe. We are not going to that party and you are not going to lie to your parents. I simply will not allow it. My alien’s voice was loud and clear in my head.
‘You’ve got to be joking,’ I said out loud. A few kids gave me weird looks, and I dodged behind a tree, breathing heavily and full of indignation. Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what I can do?
Very well, if you have to be reminded. I am now part of you, and the better part, I might add. I am not going to allow our body to be poisoned with alcohol and deafened by loud music, and our indigestion ruined with bad food, much less consort with unacceptable companions. And as for being deceitful to the ones who brought you into this world and looked after you, that is out of the question.
First of all, you interfering busybody, I don’t drink. Well, except for the occasional glass of wine I’ve snuck from Mum and Dad, which didn’t really count. And I’d only done that twice. I didn’t get to drink it the third time—thanks to my annoying alien. Most of my friends’ parents let them drink at home, unlike my uncool parents. Well, Chelsea’s mum did anyway. But that was beside the point and it was definitely not information I was going to share with Mr Nosey Parker Alien.
Secondly, I said to my alien, eating junk food and listening to cool music is part of being a teen so get over it. And thirdly, those so-called unacceptable companions happen to be my friends. And finally, they are my parents and not yours.
If it was possible for a soap bubble to tut, this one did. The disapproval was so heavy it almost made me sick. The alien lapsed into a sulky silence for the rest of the day, which was fine with me.
Did I say sulky? I should have said ominous.
For the rest of the school week my alien was very quiet, almost well behaved. I only got two or three sermons a day on trivial stuff like watching The Vampire Diaries instead of the Discovery channel, copying Harry Crosby’s chemistry homework, and pretending I had a stomach ache in maths because I hadn’t studied for the test, things hardly worth mentioning.
But if that wasn’t enough to warn me, I should have guessed that something was up when it let me drink a glass of Coke without a murmur of protest.
I did have a moment of guilt when I asked Mum if I could stay over at Jas’s place on Saturday night.
She looked at me with her trusting brown eyes and said, ‘Of course, dear, I know you must have missed her when we were away.’
Dad looked up from his newspaper. ‘I suppose you’ll stay up all night gabbing. Don’t know why it’s called a sleepover. Seems to me not much sleeping goes on.’
‘Honestly, Dad, I’m not a child,’ I complained.
His sharp eyes caught mine, and for a minute I thought he was going to say something else. But he just grunted and disappeared behind his paper again.
Are you not ashamed of yourself? My alien’s tone was mega-disapproving.
I decided to ignore it as I bounced into my room to text Jas. No way was I going to miss yet another cool party.
I love Saturdays, usually. The whole weekend stretches ahead like a red liquorice string, you know, the kind that seems to last forever. Sometimes the liquorice breaks and sometimes it’s gone before you know it, but when you first start eating it, the end seems a long way away.
This Saturday, though, was even more special. Chad Everett was going to be at the party. He was the hottest boy in our grade and every girl wanted him. He’d only come to our school at the end of last term, and so far he hadn’t gone out with anyone.
So far. I wanted to change that status tonight.
I dressed in my old jeans and T-shirt, carefully packing the black lacy top I’d borrowed from Deb. Her parents weren’t as uptight as mine about what she could and couldn’t wear, but she couldn’t go to the party because she had a cold. I put on my tight, black skinny jeans and the cool boots that went with them, and covered them with my PJs and a jumper. I knew Mum would insist on a jumper, and it was nice and bulky, hiding everything.
All went beautifully to plan. Mum dropped me off at Jas’s with a minimum of fuss. No probs, not even from the alien. A great night loomed ahead.
‘I’m mega-excited about tonight,’ Jas said, as we got ready in her room. She pulled on a slinky, midnight blue top, exposing several centimetres of fake-tanned skin. Summer or winter made no difference to her; she always looked like she’d come back from a holiday on the Gold Coast.
‘Me, too,’ I said, shimmying into my top. It was a bit loose because Deb was a size up from me, but it was still way trendier than anything else I owned. I’d probably freeze, but I didn’t care.
I ignored the exaggerated shivering sounds my alien was making inside me. Do not forget your jumper, it said.
As if. When I went to this much trouble to look good I wasn’t going to cover up with a jumper that was bulky and totally dorky. I really needed some new clothes. Ones that didn’t make me look about twelve.
Jas sat down at the mirror and took out her mascara, applying it carefully. I watched her closely, taking note of her technique, and then dug out the makeup bag I had carefully packed.
I sat down beside her and started to apply my own makeup. For a few moments we were absolutely silent as we concentrated on making ourselves look fabulous—well, in my case, at least acceptable. Try as I might, I could never quite manage to look as hot as my friend.
I looked at my round baby face and sighed. What I really wanted was high cheekbones and a straighter nose, but there was only so much makeup could do. And tonight I seemed to have two left hands. When I tried to apply eyeliner my hand shook and it went on crooked. Mascara was impossible because I kept dropping the brush.
What was wrong with me tonight? In the end I gave up and settled for blush and lip gloss. Perhaps Chad wouldn’t notice my slight imperfections. I’d have to dazzle him with my sparkling personality instead.
As if reading my thoughts, Jas said, ‘I really want to look good tonight. Chad Everett’s going to be there.’
My heart sank, but I wasn’t surprised Jas was interested in Chad. Every girl in our grade had a crush on him. But her next words did take me aback.
‘I’ve made up my mind and tonight’s the night.’ She turned to me, her now outlined eyes large and totally perfect, unlike my own. ‘Chad’s mine,’ she said. ‘I want you to keep the other girls away while I’m talking to him. You’re good at that sort of thing, talking and everything.’
‘I don’t know if I can do that, Jas.’ And what’s more, I didn’t want to. I wanted a chance to talk to Chad myself.
‘Come on, what are friends for? Course you can.’
‘What if Chad wants to talk to other people?’ Like me, I thought.
She laughed. ‘Once he’s with me he won’t want to. You know what I’m like with boys. Putty in my hands.’ She shook her long, blonde silken hair back from her shoulders. ‘It’s almost too easy at times.’
Sadly, I did know what she was like with boys, but it had never bothered me before.
She rose and spritzed herself with Eau de Brittany.
‘Can I borrow some?’ I asked, confident of her answer. After all, we were practically best friends.
‘Oh, Zoe, we don’t want to smell the same. After all, we don’t look the same.’ Her laughter tinkled; it actually tinkled.
Some friend, my alien observed.
She really can be very nice, I answered in my head, though not with a hundred percent conviction. Sometimes you had to work hard to keep Jas’s friendship. And I had worked hard, so I wasn’t giving it up any time soon.
I grabbed my bag and followed Jas outside where her mum was waiting in the car.
Where are the rest of your clothes? Where is your jumper? And by the way, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Makeup is totally unnecessary at your age.
‘Shut up,’ I said to my soap bubble.
‘What?’ Jas looked at me in surprise.
Oops, I hadn’t meant to say it out loud. ‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘Come on, your mum’s waiting.’
Chapter Three
At Chelsea’s place, things were starting to buzz. Her mum had gone out for the evening, so there were no parents to supervise. How cool was that? Needless to say, my Neanderthal parents would have totally disapproved. Just as well I hadn’t told them. I only felt a tiny twinge of guilt, which was getting smaller by the minute.
‘Hey, Zoe, want a beer?’ Marko asked, pulling one out of the esky by his feet. Marko was one of the ultra-cool boys who just managed to stay this side of trouble.
I didn’t want to look like a complete nerd, so I thought maybe just this once I’d say yes. I held out my hand. ‘Y—no, thanks.’ Where did that come from?
My alien was suspiciously quiet.
As Marko shrugged and turned away from me, I confronted the interfering member of the fun police inside me. Hey, you knew I was going to have a beer and you stopped me.
Silence still. Smug silence.
Suddenly my clumsy attempts to put on makeup earlier one were starting to make sense. And I bet you were behind all that trouble I had putting on makeup. Stop messing with me.
You told me you did not drink, my alien said primly. And you do not need makeup at your age. As for messing, I never make a mess. I am extremely tidy. You could learn a thing or two from me, especially by the look of your room this morning.
You know what I mean. Don’t interfere. There’s such a thing as free will and all that. You aliens aren’t meant to interfere with another species.
A nasty little laugh echoed inside me. After a few moments of headache-inducing cackles, my odious little alien recovered from whatever it thought was so funny.
Surely you know better than that by now. What a quaint idea. Where did you pick that up from, Star Trek? When you have lived as long as I have you will realise the only thing you humans should be free to do is sleep. You haven’t got a great history of using free will wisely, you know.
Before the alien could go off on another rant, I cut it short. Keep this up and I’ll change my mind about that beer after all. I might even have two or three. You can’t always stop me. I’ll be more prepared for you next time. No way was this bossy soap bubble going to ruin my night.
No need to get aggressive. I can compromise. Go on, have your junk food and listen to that ear-splitting music. You will be deaf and obese by forty, if you last that long. I am going to retire and reflect on the wisdom of the ages, which I have accumulated in my rich and varied existences.
‘Yeah, beat it,’ I said. This alien was wearing me out and the party had hardly even started.
‘Sorry?’ a voice said, and a warm tingly feeling spread through me.
I turned to see Chad Everett. He had a white T-shirt stretched across pretty good abs and his blond hair just skimmed over his summer-blue eyes. Sigh.
‘Did you just tell me to beat it?’ he asked.
‘No, no, of course not,’ I babbled. I really needed to control that speaking-my-thoughts-out-loud thing. Damn that alien.
‘You’re Zoe, right?’ he said, and took a step closer.
God, he smelled nice. And he knew my name. ‘Yeah, hi.’ The words were barely a whisper and I really couldn’t think of another thing to say.
‘I’m Chad. I think we’re in history class together.’ He gave me a smile that had the peculiar effect of making my knees go weak.
‘I know.’ Everything inside me froze. Now that the big moment had come to speak with Chad, I couldn’t think of a thing to say other than one or two syllables. Great.
My alien gave a long, bored sigh. Ask him a question. Talk about your teacher or about what you learnt in history. Honestly, I do not know how you have lived these fifteen years without me.
‘Hey, that Mr Baxter, he’s so boring, isn’t he?’ Lame, but the best I could do.
‘Yeah,’ Chad said, ‘no wonder Jonesy fell asleep in class on Wednesday. Remember how he nearly fell off his chair?’
We laughed. Chad Everett and I actually laughed together.
‘So, have you tried out for any of the school teams?’ I asked, getting into my stride.
‘Yeah, the footy team,’ he said. ‘I played union at my old school, but I can play league, too.’
Of course he could. I wasn’t exactly sporty, but I could pretend that I at least knew something about football.
‘What position do you play?’
‘Do you want a drink?’
We both spoke at the same time and then laughed.
‘You go first,’ he said. Such a gentleman.
‘I asked what position you played,’ I said, ‘but sure, I’d love a Coke.’ Chad getting me a drink meant he had to come back to me. And that was absolutely fine.
‘Oh, there you are.’ A familiar voice cut through the air like an interfering commercial in Gossip Girl.
Jas moved between us with precision and determination, but not without giving me a look and a raised eyebrow. Then she turned her back on me and laid a hand on Chad’s arm.
‘Hi, Chad, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. No need for you to be hidden away in a corner. I know absolutely
everyone here, and so many people want to meet you.’
I had to take a step back or risk having my foot pierced by Jas’s spike heels. She was so subtle, my friend.
‘Oh, hi Zoe,’ she said over her shoulder and then turned back to Chad.
‘That’s okay,’ he said to Jas. ‘I think I know most people here.’
She gave a shake of her hair over her shoulders and said in her most persuasive voice, ‘Oh well, then I want to get to know you better. There, I said it. You saw through me, didn’t you?’
She gave a very irritating laugh. Irritating to me. Chad didn’t seem to mind it.
‘Come on, let’s grab a drink and I’ll tell you about everything and everyone you need to know in order to survive East Valley High.’ Jas linked her arm through his and led him away as if I didn’t exist.
To his credit, Chad did look back at me and smile. Sweet, but I knew he wouldn’t be back. Looked like I’d have to get my own Coke.
She’s very predatory, isn’t she?
For once I agreed with my alien. But then it continued and spoiled the moment.
She displays all those qualities that my species admires in you lesser creatures. She is ruthless, determined and a born survivor. Perhaps this party has not been so bad after all. It is always so interesting, observing humans.
Whose side are you on, anyway?
What an unnecessary question. Ours is a mutually beneficial relationship, although more beneficial to you than me.
Whatever. I didn’t feel like wasting time arguing.
Naturally, within five minutes I could see that Chad was totally focused on Jas and had forgotten me. She was using every trick she had and it was working. Normally, it didn’t bother me. In fact, I used to admire her. Most of the boys she liked, like the jocks, the popular guys, weren’t that interested in me anyway. I didn’t care. Not much, anyway. But Chad was different. I really wanted to get to know him. But now the only way I could hang out with him was as the best friend of the girl he was really interested in.
I was already starting to be over this party. But I wasn’t quite ready to call it quits, as I realised when I heard that irritating inner voice again.
