by Laura Acton
Jon rapidly said with the same authority he used earlier, “Dano, stop. Stop now.”
Dan blinked and turned his guarded gaze to Jon.
Getting Dan’s attention again, Jon continued with firm conviction, “Yes it hurt them to listen to what you said. But that’s because you’re family. They care. What hurts one hurts all. We don’t feel sorry for you. We understand the events in your life.
“There are things you had no control over which caused you to endure intense brutality. You’re a man sorely tested, yet proven stronger as a result of what you withstood. Strength forged in hellfire. We are proud to call you friend and brother.”
Dan wanted so badly to accept Jon’s words, but could he believe them? Were they true or only said to placate him? Dan was afraid—he wanted them to be true. Courage, he needed courage. His mind raced again as fear reached up and grabbed at him. Fear laced its filthy tendrils into the rational part of his brain and tried to drag him back down into the black pit of hell.
This is exhausting, Scott thought as a multitude of emotions played out in Dan’s eyes. If I feel this way, I can only imagine how exhausted Dan must be. Scott sensed fear creeping in now and taking hold of Dan. Scott was damned glad Jon is here. They tagged teamed well, and he wondered briefly how the hell Brody did it alone.
A quick glance at Jon communicated ‘my turn now.’ “Danny, hey Doppelganger. Look at me right now!”
Dan turned to Scott.
Scott quietly, but confidently suggested, “Alright, I got an idea. Why don’t we take this real slow? Have them come in one at a time, alone. Give you a chance to meet with each one separately. You can take as much time as you need with each to satisfy yourself of their feelings. How’s that sound? Want to proceed that way?”
One at a time? Yeah, I might be able to manage that. Dan gave a slight nod.
Slightly relieved, Scott said, “Excellent. Now you’re in charge of this, and you can call halt at any time. Who first?”
Dan wanted to respond, but his throat burned, raw and parched from hours of speaking. He motioned with his hand for a drink.
Jon rose and poured Dan some water. He handed it to him then placed his reassuring hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Drink slow, little sips.”
After drinking the entire glass, Dan asked for another. He drank half and handed it back.
Jon placed it on the table and sat back down.
Dan inhaled as deep as he dared to, trying not to increase the pain level in his chest. He exhaled and said, “Ray.” Less lethal Ray, always calm and his face passive. Ray is a safe choice.
Scott rose and said, “Okay. I’ll go get Ray. Jon will stay with you. I’ll be gone a few minutes. Need to let them know what happened since they left. Are you okay with that?”
Nerves frayed—irrational thinking starting to catch hold telling him he would be hurt again. Dan hesitated in answering Scott.
Scott stood patiently waiting for Dan to say it was alright—giving Dan all power over this aspect of his life.
As he tried to regain rational thought, he shifted on the bed to ease his muscles, stiff and sore from so many hours locked in place. When he moved, red hot fire from his broken ribs seared his chest. He flinched and hissed, and his stomach rolled. He tried to curb the billowing nausea.
Jon noted Dan paled and sweat beaded on his forehead. Up instantly, he grabbed the plastic basin and reached Dan in time. Dan vomited up the water, and dry heaved when nothing remained in his stomach. Both Jon and Scott held him upright on the bed.
When he finished retching Dan gasped for breath. Scott and Jon eased him back down when the heaving stopped. Scott quickly wet a cloth and ran it over Dan’s face and around his neck then he rinsed the cloth and placed it on the back of Dan’s neck.
“Ok?” Jon asked worried about the gasping shallow breaths.
Dan shook his head. It fucking hurt! He couldn’t regulate his respirations, and dark spots danced in his eyes.
“Dano, look at me. Sniper breathing. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release,” Jon said as he placed his hands on either side of Dan’s head and gently turned Dan towards him, so his own face was inches from Dan’s.
Dan locked eyes with Jon.
Jon released Dan’s head and dropped his hands.
“That’s right. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Begging Jon with his eyes not to stop, Dan fixated on Jon’s voice. He needed the words and verbal guidance to breathe properly.
“You got this, buddy. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan grasped one of Jon’s hand as tightly as he could manage.
“I’m not going anywhere, Dano,” Jon said as he squeezed Dan’s hand back. “In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan relaxed his body slightly as oxygen entered his lungs.
“You’re doing well. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan reduced his death grip on Jon’s hand.
“Almost under control. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan communicated gratitude with his eyes.
“Ready for me to stop? In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan shook his head—still needing guidance.
“Hard work, huh? In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
A nod from Dan confirmed it was hard to breathe.
“You afraid of hard work? In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan shook his head.
“Great because it’s gonna take a lot to recover and return to the team. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. We won’t fail you, you’ll succeed. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Clinging to Jon’s counting Dan gradually regained control.
Jon narrowed his gunmetal gray eyes and drew in his brows. “Got that, Broderick. You have no options. You prove the doctors wrong. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. You’re not called Dantastic for nothing.”
Dan stared and decided to trust Jon’s words.
“In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release. You ready to accept the challenge? Ready to work your ass off? In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan nodded as his eyes never left Jon’s.
“Good! Now the first step is for you to tell me out loud you accept the challenge. In. Hold. Two, three, four. Release.”
Dan reached for the push button to dose himself unable to speak yet due to the agony still coursing through him. Allowing the meds to enter his bloodstream and take the edge off, Dan concentrated on breathing without Jon’s help now—but holding Jon’s gaze the entire time.
Jon saw him press the meds button and waited for Dan’s medication to take effect. Damn, Blaze is right—the light of determination and fight is in Dan’s eyes. He liked the clarity in Dan’s eyes and that he wasn’t giving up.
Scott watched spellbound as Jon helped Dan regain control and presented him with the first step. The fact Dan looked for help and received it boded well. He could tell Dan trusted Jon on some level. Scott suspected it was born from mutually earned respect.
After several minutes, the throbbing in his chest ebbed to a somewhat manageable level. Dan inhaled carefully. He spoke slowly with only enough breath for four words, “I accept the challenge.”
“Dantastic! Four words in a row. Progress already. I expected no less from you.” Jon grinned, and his eyes reflected pride for Dan’s first success.
Dan’s eyes lowered and flicked away unsure how to take the praise.
“So Danny, still want to do it smooth and slow?”
“Yeah,” Dan responded. His emotions were still very raw. He needed to take it slow because he knew he could be easily pulled back to the pit of despair. He definitely didn’t want to go there ever again.
Scott went toward the door.
Dan turned back to Jon. Scott’s words triggered one of Jon’s favorite sayings. One he often used when the team was training to focus them on the task and working together as one to accomplish the goal.
“Jon,” he said to get his attention. A small grin played on Dan’s face.
“Yeah?” Jon studied Dan and was curious what brought the smile.
Slowly with breaks between words for air, Dan said, “Slow … is smooth. … Smooth is … fast.”
Jon grinned broadly as he and Dan finished together, “Fast is … lethal.”
Stay … Please
42
August 4
St. Michael’s Hospital – Outside Room 1030 – 7:30 a.m.
As the door opened everyone in the hall froze. They had been out here for about four hours. Each thought much the same things. What is happening in there? Is Dan done talking? Did he accept the challenge? They noted Scott exited and he looked exhausted, but not distressed.
When the door closed behind him, Scott whispered, “Challenge accepted,” as a smile broke across his face.
They were on their feet instantly and headed for the door.
Scott put up his hand. “Hold.”
They stopped where they stood. Scott explained to them what happened since they left without repeating any details Dan gave. Only general topics until he got to the part about his feelings for TRF.
Scott shared, “So, the thing which threw him to the edge is you all,” scanning Alpha Team, “are important to him. Working with you gives his life purpose. Dan feels he belongs, he makes a difference and is a place he can begin to live. If Dan can’t rejoin the team, he would rather die.”
“What does he mean to begin to live?” Loki asked ignoring the ‘rather die.’
Jim stared at Loki and cocked his head with an expression that said ‘put it together—think, man.’
“Oh, got it,” Loki said releasing a shuddering breath. “So, we are going in one by one? Who did he ask for first?”
Scott inclined his head towards Ray. “Can’t tell you how long before he is ready for the next person, we are going at his pace. But if you would grab three cups of coffee that would be fantastic. I need some. I’m sure Jon could, too. Dan is bushed, but I think he wants to get this over with before he rests so coffee would be helpful for him. Even if it isn’t strictly allowed yet.”
Patch nodded when Scott directed the last comment to him. “Not the best for him right now, but I have to agree with you.”
Scott and Ray entered the room. William, Nick, and Bram said they would take care of getting the coffee for everyone. They headed off to the cafe.
Loki pulled on Lexa’s arm and together they walked a little away from the room. When they stopped, Loki nervously said, “Lexa, I’m worried.”
“Why?”
“You know me. My face always shows my emotions. What if I show something which sets Dan off or throws him over the edge?” Loki said. He paced in a circle and ran his hand through his hair.
Lexa considered what he said for several moments. “What do you feel right now?”
“So many things,” Loki answered honestly.
“What’s the main feeling? Can you pinpoint it?”
Loki continued to pace as he sorted through his emotions and tried to figure out what was foremost. There was sorrow, dread, amazement, anger, and others. But what did he feel the strongest? He stopped pacing and stared at her. “Relief and Hopefulness.”
“Focus on hope solely. Bring it to the forefront. Keep it locked in your mind, and it will display on your face. Dan needs to see hope.”
“I can do that. Hope. I’ll show Dantastic hope.” Loki hugged Lexa tightly. He loved this team—he loved Lexa—she was one of his best friends and was always there to help him when he needed her. “Thanks.”
“Just smile. You’ve got an infectious smile,” Lexa said as she stepped back.
“Shhh, if the nurse hears infectious she won’t let me in to see Dan,” Loki whispered as his typical humor returned to his voice.
Lexa laughed lightly then pulled Loki back towards the room to wait for their turn to see Dan. She was on cloud nine at the moment because Dan accepted the challenge. She recognized that wouldn’t be easy—but if anyone can do it, Dantastic would.
Heather and Jim sat down next to the wall after Ray and Scott went back into the room. Heather cautiously asked him to explain what was going on. They spent several minutes in quiet conversation as he briefly told her of the past and what he thought happened here tonight.
Jim wasn’t completely sure since he arrived when they were already in the hall. He adamantly refused to ask any of them for details. Once in a lifetime was one too many times to listen to those details.
Heather gazed at Jim and tenderly said, “Jim, it’s time to go. Dan’s team, his dad, and cousin can handle this now. It’s time for you to move forward. Lay this burden down. You can help Dan with his physical recovery, but this … this is covered. Let’s get you home, you’re exhausted.”
Bram overheard the last of what Heather said. She is right. Patch, no Jim, needs to let this go. We’ll all eventually need to let it go, but Dan is ours now, and we’ll take care of him.
Moving to stand in front of Patch, Bram said, “Jim, she’s right. Time to go. We’ll put the pieces back together and help him begin to live. You need to start to live too.” He reached out a hand and helped Jim to rise then pulled him close and embraced him. “Thank you for saving Dan at the church, because of you, he has a chance to live.”
Jim and Heather said their goodbyes. They assured them they would be around to help Dan with figuring out a tactical plan for recovery. Arm in arm, with Heather’s head resting on Jim’s shoulder, they headed for the elevators.
St. Michael’s Hospital – Room 1030 – 7:35 a.m.
Right before Ray entered, Jon shifted his chair so he could keep an eye on Dan without being too obvious, but close enough if need be. He wanted to detect if Dan slipped and be able to intervene if necessary.
Ray entered the room not sure what to expect nor sure how to react. He wondered why Dan asked for him first. He felt they were probably the least connected. Maybe that was the reason. Maybe he was the safe one.
He decided to simply be himself and treat Dan as if today was any other day. Ray tried to think of something to say. He grinned when it came to him. In the locker room, they often joked about Lexa’s punches when she was ticked off. He and Loki were awed how Dan handled those situations—Dan did something no one else on the team could do.
Pulling a chair close to Dan’s bedside and sitting down, so he didn’t tower over Dan, Ray said, “Morning. Happy to see ya. Gave us quite a scare, but I see you’ve got it worked out. I can’t wait until you get back to the team. Got used to having someone around who can settle Lexa down. Man, she hits hard. You always seem to know what to say to stop her. My arms thank you.”
Dan assessed Ray’s body language and studied his face. It was just Ray—nothing out of the ordinary. Well except for the tiredness around his eyes. Ray was normal, but this still felt awkward. Dan wasn’t sure how to respond. “Yeah … well …”
“Buddy, save your breath right now. I can see it’s hard for you to breathe. We’ll have plenty of time to shoot the breeze later,” Ray said noticing Dan wasn’t sure what to say.
Ray suspected Dan would feel uncomfortable knowing they saw him at his lowest point. “I’m not gonna stay long. Only needed to see for myself you’re alright. You look like you could use some sleep.”
“So do … you,” Dan responded more ordinarily.
Ray stood. “We good?”
Dan nodded.
“Alright, then I’ll see ya tomorrow. We got to get the tactical plan put together, but I think we all need to sleep on it first.” He patted Dan’s shoulder then headed toward the door. He turned back to Dan and said, “Who do you want next?”
Dan thought for several minutes then said, “the gen … my dad.”
Ray gave him thumbs up and left the room.
St. Michael’s Hospital – Room 1030 – 7:45 a.m.
William entered the room with four cups of coffee. Hesitant for the first time in his life to meet the eyes of his son. All the pain and misery Daniel endured had been because of one man’s vendetta against him.
It had been hard to listen to what Daniel went through. He could take no more and had to leave the room when his son related how he began to accept the verbal abuse and believe he was a worthless animal who should be punished for being born.
Dan involuntarily tensed as the general entered the room. His body unconsciously moved into an upright soldier position. He held himself still, as if at attention and watched the general intently trying to get a read on him. Would his father be able to accept him after this show of weakness?
William halted when he noticed Daniel stiffen. Damn! His mind spent the last four hours thinking about what happened here. William knew of many soldiers who were brought to their knees and broken beyond repair having gone through much less than his son did. He needed to figure out how to proceed. So he used the distraction of handing out the coffee to Jon and Scott to gather himself and determine his path forward.
Memories of another young man once lost, broken, and frightened entered his head. Mike Galloway feared his own shadow after he rescued him from Pshejskaya. It took an immense amount of patience to help Mike recover, but it had been so worth it. It also took more than him to help Mike. The Galloway family rallied around Mike and fully supported him in his recovery.
William determined since he helped Mike, he could succeed helping his own son recover. He could count on the entire Broderick clan to help him—they are a fiercely protective lot. Danny would recover of that William was certain.
He is so proud of Daniel for many reasons. He glanced at Daniel on his way to give Scott his coffee. Just how the hell can Daniel sit so erect and still in his condition? It must hurt very much to do that, yet Daniel is. Amazed by the depth of his son’s strength and fortitude. Daniel is so resilient and capable both physically and mentally.
