From Doctor to Daddy

by Becky Wicks

  ‘Let me go out there.’

  ‘It’s not safe...’

  Fraser thrust open the door. He was faced with the swirling ocean, a blackened sky. A blast of wind shot inside the ship and tugged at his jeans and white coat. He shut the door behind him, leaving the security guy struggling to stop a man following him out with a camera.

  The sea spray lashed at his face, but across the deck he could see shadows in the rain. They were bulky, broad-shouldered. Some of the security team had followed Trevor at least.

  He made to move towards them, but each motion was like wading through a swamp. Every time he tried to move the wind would blow him backwards and pain shot through his leg. He pushed it away as best he could; he still hadn’t taken the damn antibiotics.

  Then he saw what the security men were looking it.

  Trevor’s long wet ponytail was swaying like a rope in the wind. His tattoos were disappearing along with his neck, head and shoulders as he took small steps backwards into the darkness.

  ‘Don’t do this!’

  A member of Security was holding his hands up. Another shone a flashlight into Trevor’s face. His T-shirt was a flapping flag as Fraser forced his legs to move forward.

  ‘Trevor, let’s go back inside.’

  The howling wind took his breath. Trevor didn’t move. He clearly had something terrible planned.

  ‘I have to do something.’ Trevor was as white as the moon.

  ‘Not this. Listen to me. You don’t need to do anything drastic.’

  ‘Yes, I do.’

  Fraser saw his eyes flit to the edge of the deck and the heavy lounge chair standing strong against the gales. The perfect ladder.

  ‘I promise you, you don’t,’ he called.

  ‘My dad used to hit me, you know.’ The flashlight on his face showed his beady eyes filled with despair. The fury was gone.

  A call for help.

  Fraser had seen it before from people like this with secrets to hide. Secrets that were hurting them and others.

  ‘Let’s go back in and talk about things.’ He inched closer to Trevor in the seconds when the wind died down. At the same time Trevor leapt onto the lounge chair and stepped up to the edge.

  Security men rushed forward, but Trevor lunged for a rope and pulled himself up high, away from their arms’ reach. He was teetering on the edge now, holding on tight to the swaying rope over the pounding ocean.

  ‘Fraser!’

  Fraser spun round. Sara’s white coat was a billowing sail. She had one arm around Jasmine, who was staggering towards him on crutches.

  He caught her before she toppled. ‘Her plaster isn’t even set properly!’ he yelled.

  Jasmine held a hand up at him. ‘Don’t blame Sara—I begged her to bring me!’ She clocked Trevor, who was still clutching the rope. ‘Trevor, please, get down from there!’

  The wind and rain was whipping round them now.

  ‘There’s something bad inside me, Jazz...it’s in my blood.’

  Trevor was clearly distraught. Fraser forced himself to say nothing that might push the guy literally over the edge, but he reached for his radio—slowly.

  ‘No!’ Trevor saw him. ‘Don’t you dare!’

  ‘Fraser, stop!’ Sara looked appalled. ‘He’s going to jump.’

  Jasmine was whimpering between them.

  ‘OK... OK...’ Fraser shoved the radio back. ‘Trevor, why don’t you just let me help you get down from there?’

  He forced himself one step forward.

  Trevor stepped over the side.

  ‘No!’

  Fraser got to the edge first. In a heartbeat he’d caught Trevor’s arm, snatching his wrist, slippery with rain. Salt water stung his eyes, and he could barely see, but he clamped down with an iron grip and somehow Trevor swayed like a pendulum but didn’t fall.

  Sara was next to him now. He tried to pull Trevor higher, so she could reach him too, but Trevor’s hand slipped and he had to use every ounce of his might to stay holding on.

  ‘Please, don’t drop me!’

  So now he wanted to live.

  Without hesitation Sara reached down over the edge, while a security man reached for her. She clamped a hand over Trevor’s arm. Then she grabbed him by his shirt.

  ‘Now!’ she yelled.

  The wind whipped her hair into Fraser’s face as together they dragged him inch by inch, writhing and groaning, back from the edge. They all toppled backwards as he tumbled onto the deck, and Fraser crawled to Sara while Security took over. They were wrestling to hold Trevor down; he was panicked now—not wanting to die, but not wanting to be there in their control, at their mercy.

  Jasmine seemed to fall to the deck and they hurried to help her up, one on each side, acting as the crutches that had rolled away. They were all soaked through.

  A crowd of stubborn passengers surrounded them as they finally stepped inside.

  Jasmine was concerned for Trevor as they dripped their way back to the med room. ‘What will happen to him?’

  ‘Security will take care of things,’ said Fraser. ‘Does your leg hurt even more now?’

  ‘No, it’s fine—I told you.’ She was limping, but luckily it didn’t look as if she was in any more pain than before. ‘Will they have him arrested now?’

  ‘They won’t let him go this time.’

  He avoided Sara’s eyes the whole way to the med room. He wouldn’t say it. He wouldn’t say that he’d warned her not to go up there. Sara knew she should have listened.

  Pain shot through Fraser’s own leg. It almost made him stagger on the threshold of the medical room.

  Sara spotted it instantly. ‘Fraser?’

  ‘I’m OK. Are you?’

  ‘Yes. But your leg...’

  ‘I said I’m fine.’

  Renee hurried over to help. She’d clearly been tending to more seasick patients: the evidence was on the bed sheets. She’d told them she could handle things, but Fraser knew she couldn’t—not on her own.

  ‘What happened? she asked them, taking in their wet clothes and hair.

  ‘What happened was that Trevor did try to take the easy route out, but changed his mind.’ He winced as he moved.

  ‘Let me check your leg,’ Sara said, swiping her wet hair back. ‘And don’t say you’re OK—I can see you’re not.’ She sat him in a plastic chair and crouched in front of him while he rolled up his jeans. ‘You didn’t take those antibiotics, did you?’

  She frowned as her fingers traced the skin at the edge of his coral reef wound. It was still purple, and part of the cut was bleeding again.

  ‘You told me it was because they made you queasy,’ she whispered, ‘but it was because of the tests for Esme, wasn’t it? You didn’t want them in your system.’

  He leaned towards her in the chair. ‘Yes—the other test I told you about...the one I’m still waiting for...’

  ‘You should be putting yourself first—’

  ‘Esme comes first,’ he said, watching as she dabbed antiseptic on his wound—not that he hadn’t done that already, earlier in his room.

  ‘Go and lie down. I’ll take care of things here,’ she said when she was done.

  ‘You both need to go—to change your clothes at least,’ Renee instructed.

  Fraser looked to Sara. They needed to talk.

  ‘Stay with me,’ Jasmine said to Sara suddenly, reaching for her hand. ‘Please don’t leave me, Nurse Cohen.’

  Jasmine’s eyes were red and swollen. She clutched Sara’s hand and Fraser could see in Sara’s face that she was torn. Jasmine was really scared of Trevor now—scared to be around him and scared not to be.

  ‘There are some spare clothes in the cupboard. I’ll be fine,’ Sara said, just as Fraser had known she would. ‘I’ll stay here. Go rest your leg.’


  He lingered a moment longer, but other people were listening. He knew there would be no talking tonight—not while so much else was going on.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  THE POLICE OFFICERS were carrying guns, as was the way in Puerto Rico—and probably most of the rest of the world now, Sara mused. She was standing in line for snacks and drinks, with her mind still running over all that had happened.

  Trevor hadn’t taken too kindly to being arrested and dragged off the ship by two burly police offers in black, but thankfully the situation had been handled properly and poor Jasmine was out of danger now.

  She and Renee had tended to ashen patients most of the night, and she had barely slept as the ship had continued to rock back and forth. She still didn’t know how she’d summoned such supernatural strength when it had come to heaving Trevor back onto the deck. But the way Fraser had looked at her...it made her smile a little.

  They hadn’t found time alone to talk properly yet. She knew that whatever it was he had to tell her was serious, but the knowledge that he might be close to being able to help Esme filled her with fresh hope that overrode any fears, somehow. It was the first time she’d allowed herself to feel this much hope. She had to keep it alive.

  She looked at him now. He was seating Esme in the front row for the sea lion show. Jess and some of the other kids from the ship weren’t far away.

  ‘Don’t forget the apple juice!’ he called to her across the rows of happy people.

  He was dressed in a green shirt and the same khaki shorts he’d danced in with her on deck. The aquarium was packed. She was really too tired for the mayhem of it all, but she’d been planning to show this place to Esme ever since she’d agreed to work on the Ocean Dream.

  Fraser’s hand brushed hers as he took his apple juice and she sat with Esme between them.

  ‘Chilled—just the way I like it.’

  He shot her a smile that sent the feel of his kisses straight back to her. A cheer from the crowd made Esme shriek in excitement and her cup of apple slices almost went flying.

  ‘Be careful, Esme,’ she told her.

  Esme rolled her eyes.

  Her catheter was a reminder of what her future would still entail if Fraser couldn’t help. Sara scolded herself. No, she had to keep that hope alive.

  ‘Have you heard anything yet?’ she whispered to Fraser. ‘About the other test?’

  He lifted his sunglasses to look at her. ‘Not yet,’ he told her. ‘Please don’t worry. I know it’s hard not to think about it, but this is why—’

  ‘Why you didn’t tell me. I understand.’

  ‘We’ll see each other later—alone. I’ve made a reservation.’

  ‘A surprise?’ she asked, raising her eyebrows.

  He dropped his eyes from hers. ‘You could say that.’

  ‘Mummy, look!’

  Esme was jabbing the air emphatically in the direction of the sea lions now plodding onto the wet deck. Their huge brown bodies reminded Sara of heavy sacks of potatoes.

  ‘I see them—wait till you see what they can do.’

  The swimming pool was gleaming—like Esme. She noticed how Fraser’s eyes lingered on her daughter adoringly as she focused in on the action with her camera.

  ‘How much footage have you racked up now, Spielberg?’ he asked Esme. ‘You must have enough to make three movies?’

  ‘A lot,’ she replied, turning to him with the lens pointed at his face. ‘Say something about the sea lions!’

  Sara hid a smile behind her hair as he made something up about sea lions. The two of them had been chattering happily the whole way here, picking each other’s brains, making each other laugh... All they did was laugh.

  ‘Will I still see you when we go home?’ Esme asked Fraser suddenly, putting her camera down. ‘The cruise is nearly over.’ She pulled a sad face at him.

  ‘I hope so,’ Fraser said, casting a quick glance at Sara that made adrenaline spike in her veins.

  They could tell her now, if they wanted. They could tell Esme that Fraser’s spare kidney might potentially be hers, that her years of dialysis, of running back and forth to hospitals and avoiding delicious things like ice-cream might soon be over.

  But the words wouldn’t even form properly in her mind. As much as she wanted to, she almost couldn’t fathom saying them out loud to Esme after all this time. Especially as a result of Fraser’s sacrifice. A flush of love for him took her by surprise and she squeezed his hand. His tanned fingers were laced through hers on her lap.

  ‘You can come and visit me and Mummy,’ Esme continued cheerily. ‘I’ll take you to the dialysis centre!’

  ‘I’m sure you’d make the second-best tour guide in the world after me,’ Fraser said jokingly. But he didn’t make any promises.

  Sara bit her lip. They’d tell her together, if the results of this final test meant he could go ahead with the transplant. Maybe he would come and visit them from time to time—when he wasn’t stuck in Edinburgh, working flat out at the surgery.

  She studied his hand in hers. She didn’t want to get her hopes up regarding a new relationship, even though his declaration of love had struck her deep to her core, unleashing butterflies every time she thought of it. They both knew Esme came first. Everything depended on her getting better. Sara would have nothing to give Fraser if Esme didn’t get better. She would only be half of herself.

  A pair of volunteers had found their way to the pool deck. Two giant sea lions were now performing tricks, batting a beach ball between their snouts, each perched on a wooden podium. A tall, lean man and a young girl—father and daughter, perhaps?—were being zipped into wetsuits and handed some fish.

  ‘Why can’t we do that?’ Esme asked Fraser.

  ‘I’d be too scared,’ Fraser told her, pulling a face.

  ‘I’d look after you.’

  ‘I know you would.’

  It was a strange bond that he and Esme had formed so quickly. And she couldn’t deny she felt bonded to Fraser too—even more so, knowing what he was trying to do for her daughter. Not for the first time she wondered whether they would have had a daughter together some day, if things hadn’t got so messed up.

  A shriek from the poolside made Esme swing her camera round. Both Sara and Fraser stood up in their seats at the same time.

  ‘Mummy, what’s happened?’

  ‘I don’t know, baby, don’t panic.’

  She strained her eyes to see what was wrong. She couldn’t see the man any more—just the little girl he’d gone up there with. There was motion in the water. And only one of the two sea lions was still on a podium.

  ‘Oh, God—you don’t think that he was attacked?’ she said apprehensively.

  Fraser grabbed the medical bag he’d brought from under the bench. The crowd was going wild now, panicking, rushing to the front to see better.

  ‘Is anyone here a doctor?’ a voice on a megaphone was booming.

  ‘They’re supposed to be friendly, aren’t they?’ said Fraser. ‘Maybe he fell in or something.’

  They looked at each other in horror. In seconds Fraser was squeezing out of their row with the medical bag, hurrying to the front.

  ‘Where is he going?’

  ‘To see what’s wrong.’

  Sara clung to Esme as she watched the green of his shirt find its way to the scene. Then she came to her senses. She motioned to Jess, who took Esme under her wing, and then followed in Fraser’s path as fast as she could.

  There was still movement in the swimming pool when she got to the front. Flashing her ship ID, she tore up the steps beyond the security barrier, just in time to see Fraser drop his shirt on the poolside and dive straight into the swimming pool.

  The sight made her freeze in her tracks.

  The lifebuoy he’d taken with him appeared suddenly in the deep blue wate
r, which was swishing so hard all she could see was a blur beneath the surface. Her heart stood still as she forced her feet to move towards the little girl. She was no older than Esme.

  ‘You’re OK.’ Sara dropped to her knees next to her, feeling water soak through the fabric of her dress instantly.

  ‘My daddy got pulled in by...by Sammy the sea lion!’

  The little girl was sobbing in heaving bursts, trying to make her way to the edge of the pool. Sara held her back. The staff were a blur now too, fetching nets and poles. The other sea lion was honking. It almost sounded like laughter, she thought with a chill.

  ‘He’ll be OK,’ she said, hoping to God it was true. ‘What’s your daddy’s name?’

  ‘Simon.’

  A woman in the blue and yellow aquarium uniform was trying her best to keep some other sea lions happy further up the deck, throwing them fish from a bucket to distract them.

  ‘They never do this,’ someone was saying behind her, aghast. ‘What did he think was wrong with that guy?’

  A hand broke the surface of the pool. Fraser emerged, clutching the kid’s dad. A male staff member was at his other side and together they swam with him back to the deck. Simon was aged around thirty-five. The sea lion was still circling as they swam. It looked playful to Sara, under the blazing Puerto Rican sun, not at all threatening—but who knew what these things were capable of?

  ‘Daddy!’

  The kid was distraught now. Sara kept on holding her back. Two other staff members were running towards him with a stretcher now. Simon was motionless, pale and limp. He had a nasty gash on his inner thigh, where the sea lion had clearly made a grab for him and dragged him off the deck by its teeth.

  ‘Help me get him up—he’s not breathing.’

  Fraser’s commands were intended for the aquarium staff so Sara did the best thing in that moment—she stayed with the little girl. All around them people were staring, recording on their phones, just like always. She tried to block it out. A woman was calling from beyond the security barrier now, waving through.

  ‘Hey! Baby—come here! Excuse me!’