by M. A. Lee
“Not yet we can’t,” I argued.
While Smalls and I rarely argued or fought, this was one issue we didn’t agree on.
“Well, it better be soon because I am tired of acting like we are doing something wrong,” he sneered.
Shaking my head yes, I just snuggled my body closer to his. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I hated how much this hurt Smalls. He felt like I was hiding him, but I am really just protecting my brother.
Realizing the conversation was over, Smalls gave up the battle. We continued watching the horror film he had selected. I was about to doze off when a knock came from his apartment front door.
We both sat up in alert.
“Who is that?” I asked in a whisper.
Before Smalls could respond, a voice yelled from the other side of the door. “Smalls, come on man, let me in,” Isaac yelled.
“Shit,” I whisper-yelled as I jumped up off Smalls and the couch.
“Now is a great time to let him know what is going on,” Smalls said as he eyed the door.
“Fuck no,” I whispered as I rushed toward his bedroom.
I heard Smalls grunt before walking and opening the front door. I hid in the bedroom and listened while praying Smalls didn’t out us yet.
“What the fuck dude? Why did it take you forever to let me in?” Isaac said but his tone was full of humor.
“Sorry man, I was sleeping on the couch,” Smalls said.
The movie was still playing so his lie sounded real.
“Oh,” Isaac said. “Anyway, I came over here because I have a huge favor to ask. Jagger wants me to go to some bar with him and a few girls but you know I can’t go, man. Lauren would kill me and honestly, I don’t want to go. I love that girl and don’t want to ruin anything between us,” Isaac said with a sigh.
I felt a smile grow on my face. I knew Isaac loved Lauren but hearing how sweet he was being warmed my heart.
There was an awkward silence before Smalls finally spoke again. “I can’t,” he responded, quickly.
“Why not? You aren’t doing anything,” Isaac noted.
I wished more than anything that I could see them instead of being forced to listen to behind a closed door.
“I just can’t,” Smalls snapped back.
It was strange for him to be so rude with his friend and Isaac was surely going to pick up on it.
“You aren’t telling me something,” Isaac stated.
My heart dropped down into my belly and I gasped as he spoke. Shit, was Isaac on to us?
“I don’t have to tell you everything,” Smalls began. “Why don’t you just ask Cole,” he added.
Isaac laughed at this. “Are you serious? Cole has it bad for Melanie. You know he wouldn’t do anything to upset her. There could only be one reason why you won’t go with Jagger and it’s a girl,” Isaac finished.
My eyes sprang wide and I had to hold back my rapid breathing. This was too much.
“Maybe I do have a girl,” Smalls said sarcastically. “If I do, it’s none of your business,” he stated.
Isaac laughed again. “Oh shit, you are dating someone. Why don’t you just tell me who it is?” he asked.
“It’s still early on. I will tell you when I am ready,” Smalls snapped back.
“So, it’s a secret girlfriend,” Isaac teased.
I could sense Smalls tense and I knew he was almost to his breaking point, even with Isaac. “She’s not a secret. I am just not going to talk to your dumb ass about it,” Smalls growled.
Laughing again, Isaac walked to the door. “Fine. I will just tell Jagger that all of his friends are whipped by our girls. Only, yours is a secret girlfriend,” he laughed once more before shutting the door behind him.
When I was sure Isaac was gone for good, I emerged from the bedroom.
Smalls was standing in the middle of the living room, his face red as he watched me walk toward him.
“They are all going to give me shit for this,” he stated flatly.
“I am sorry,” I said as I rushed to him and hugged him around his waist. “I promise I will fix this soon,” I stated.
“You better, because there’s only so much teasing I will take from those idiots,” he stated as he tried not to crack a smile.
I hugged him tighter and just hoped that Isaac didn’t push Smalls too far.
17
KAT
A week later at the shop, the tension was building between everyone. Cole, Isaac, and Jagger had been relentless with their teasing Smalls for his secret girlfriend. Smalls got so pissed one day, he began relaying our torrid sex details to Isaac. If only Isaac knew he was listening to some wicked details about his sister, he would die!
Smalls was finishing up a large back tattoo when Isaac and Cole stepped into his room.
“Hey man, we are going to get lunch. Do you want to go or do you want to check with your secret girl, first?” Cole joked.
Smalls ignored them and as I noticed they were about to continue their harassing, I threw two lollipops at their heads.
“Hey,” Isaac yelled as he rubbed the back of his head where I had hit him with the sucker.
“Are we in third grade?” I sneered. “Leave him alone,” I yelled.
Cole narrowed his eyes at me and I felt myself move back toward the front desk. He may not know what is going on with me and Smalls, but he is on to something.
Once they left, I waited for Smalls client to leave before I went to his room.
When I finally found Smalls, he was rubbing his face and I could tell he was stressed.
“This is getting to be too much,” he said without looking at me.
“What?” I asked in shock. Was he trying to end this before it really even started?
“I want to tell them. I feel like I am going to explode,” he yelled.
There wasn’t much I could do to make him feel better. He knew where I stood and thankfully, up until this point he had respected my decision to wait to tell Isaac. Only, I was starting to believe that I needed to tell Isaac now. I hated what our secrets were doing to him. If I loved Smalls, and I did, I had to put my own fears aside and do what is right for us. I have to show him I love him and will do anything to keep him.
In that moment, I knew what I had to do, but I needed Isaac there first.
***
An hour later, the guys returned as they laughed and joked walking through the shop doors. The loud rock music blaring from the speakers didn’t hide their obnoxious noise. This time though, they were accompanied by Lauren and Melanie. I could see Jagger pulling in to.
Ignoring the guys, I smiled and waved at Lauren and Melanie.
“Hey girls, I didn’t know you two were going to lunch with those morons,” I teased.
“Well, we didn’t have anything else better to do,” Lauren kidded.
Smiling, I shook my head in understanding.
Leaning in, Melanie offered a naughty smile, as she pointed for me to lean in too. Intrigued, I did as instructed. “Guess what we found out? Jagger has met someone,” Melanie almost squealed, as she spoke the words.
I let out a gasp from my own shock. “Seriously? Like a real human girl. Not some blow-up Barbie doll?” I stated.
Shaking her head no, Melanie continued. “No. Cole and Isaac even met her too. Apparently, Jagger met her a few nights ago when Cole cut his hand at work. She was at the hospital too. He is smitten by her,” Melanie smiled.
Just then, Isaac walked up on our conversation and patted me on the back. “Did you hear, our boy Smalls has a secret girlfriend,” Isaac said, as he eyed Smalls for a reaction.
“That’s enough,” I shouted, as Isaac laughed.
Everyone in the room silenced and turned to look at me like I was going crazy.
“What’s wrong?” Isaac asked, as he removed his hand from my back and stepped back away from me.
“You are such an idiot. Stop messing with Smalls,” I shouted.
“Why do you care?” Isaac
asked. “We are just messing around. He knows that. This is what friends do,” Isaac added as he narrowed his eyes to look at me.
“No, friends don’t sit around and make fun of one another.”
“Are you PMS-ing?” Isaac asked, with a smile. “I mean, you are always a bitch but today you are even more mean than usual,” he stated, with a laugh.
This time Isaac had gone too far. As the words escaped his lips realization struck him as he too knew he was wrong.
Before anyone else could do or say anything, Smalls ran across the shop and grabbed Isaac around his waist and slammed him to the ground. We all jumped and screamed and moved out of their way as we tried to understand what was going on.
Smalls lifted his fist and began punching Isaac in the face. I heard Lauren scream for help as Melanie rushed to Cole who was now trying to figure out how to intervene.
“Stop this, you are friends,” Cole shouted as he jumped into the fight as he attempted to pull Smalls large frame off of Isaac.
I stood frozen as tears rushed down my face. This was all because of me. I had caused two best friends to fight because I couldn’t just face the truth myself.
Jagger ran into the shop and began helping Cole pull the men apart. Thankfully, there were no customers around to witness this brawl or the shop would surely lose clients for good.
After what felt like forever, the two men have finally pulled apart. Cole held onto Isaac as Jagger held Smalls back.
Both men were bloody and their shirts were torn. I couldn’t stand to look at either of them.
“What the hell is going on?” Lauren asked, as she looked at the men then finally to me.
“I have had enough of your shit,” Smalls stated angrily, as he pointed a finger at Isaac.
“Smalls, we have been friends for years. We have given each other shit over stuff before and never have we gotten upset,” Isaac said, with hurt ringing in his voice.
Lauren walked over and began checking Isaac to make sure he was ok. I knew I should be doing the same for Smalls, but I still couldn’t move.
“You called the woman I love a bitch. You went too far,” Smalls fired at Isaac.
Isaac’s eyes shot open in shock as did everyone else’s in the room.
“Wait, what did you just say?” Isaac asked as his eyes shot over to me.
Lauren gasped and Melanie allowed a small smile to cross her face as she nodded her head toward Cole. He must have confided in her what he felt was going on between Smalls and myself. I guess he was right in doing so, couples share things.
“You heard me. I love her,” Smalls stated this time he removed Jagger’s hands from his arms and stood tall and proud. He walked over to me and without warning, threw his arms around my shoulders. “I have loved Kat for months. We have been secretly dating because she was afraid you,” he said as he pointed to Isaac, “couldn’t handle us being together. Maybe she was right though. Any best friend of mine wouldn’t want to hurt and humiliate his friend. I have sat back and watched each of you go from being man-whores to falling in love and being devoted boyfriends. Now, it’s my turn and I don’t want shit from anyone. Kat and I will be together. That is final. If you have a problem with that. Well, you can go fuck yourself,” he finished.
I had never been so proud and turned on at the same time before. So much love for this man was pouring through me that I felt like I would explode. This is what true love is. It is forgiving. Proud. Strong. And, more than anything, it is without apology.
Everyone stood silent as Smalls words and actions sank in. I waited for Isaac to come after Smalls or to tell me I was making a huge mistake. But he didn’t.
Instead, he did something that shocked all of us. Taking a few slow steps, Isaac walked over to Smalls and extended his hand.
“I am sorry Smalls. I honestly had no idea you and Kat are…” he didn’t know how to finish that sentence.
“In love. Together. Dating,” I finished for me.
Isaac looked at me and for the first time ever, he didn’t have pity as he looked at me. Instead, he almost looked proud of me.
“I knew Kat was growing up and taking her art and her job seriously. But, I didn’t know why. I almost thought it was because of me, but now I know it is because she found a good man to support and take care of her,” as Isaac spoke, he reached out and shook Smalls' hand.
More tears sprang from my eyes as I watched the two men who I loved more than anything, make amends. They both loved me, just in very different ways. They both wanted the best for me and together they knew that was all that mattered.
“Isaac, I never meant to hurt you. We didn’t want to hurt you. But, I love your sister and I swear you don’t ever have to worry about me hurting her. She is it for me,” he said as he looked at me with love filling his eyes.
She is it for me.
Smalls wants me forever. That thought sent my heart and body into overdrive. I too wanted Smalls forever. I needed him. Life would never be the same again and to me that was perfect.
“So, is anyone here single?” Lauren broke in as she looked around the room.
We all shook our heads no, even Jagger.
“Wow,” Melanie added as she held hands with Cole.
“So now that you all know, we aren’t hiding anymore,” Smalls stated as he grabbed me around my waist and dipped me so that my face was now only inches from his. Leaning in, he placed a strong and passionate kiss to my tender lips. I heard people awing around us, but none of that mattered. The man I loved held me in his arms in front of our friends. There was no shame in what we were doing. We are proud to be together and now, everyone can share in our love too.
“So, what now?” Isaac asked as he cleared his throat. “Look, I am cool with you dating my sister, but please, turn down the kissing when I am around,” Isaac said as he closed his eyes.
Laughing, Lauren only patted his arm. “Oh baby, what do you think your sister has had to put up with living with you? She sees you and me kissing and touching all of the time,” Lauren poked as she winked at me.
Opening his eyes, Isaac couldn’t help but agree. “Ok, but please just remember she’s my sister,” he added as he walked toward his office.
Smiling, Lauren followed behind him.
After everyone else left, Smalls and I were left alone.
“So, is that what you had in mind when you said you wanted to tell Isaac about us?” I teased.
Smalls still had dried blood on his shirt, but to me, he looked sexy as hell. He had literally fought for me and I couldn’t be more in love with him for it.
“Not really, but it was hot watching you defend my honor,” I said, as I kissed him.
Holding me tight, Smalls just smiled down at me. “I love you.”
18
SMALLS
I wish I could say I was sorry for how things went down between me and Isaac. But, I’m not. He disrespected the woman I love, pissed me off with his stupid joking about the secret girlfriend thing, and then had the nerve to swing back at me.
I still loved him though.
Isaac wasn’t just my best friend. He was my family. And, sometimes family fight. It doesn’t mean we love each other less or will stay upset forever. It just means sometimes we have to deal with our shit to make it out on the other side.
Watching Kat stand frozen in fear as I went after her brother almost broke me. For a moment, I thought I had lost her. That look of confusion and fear and…remorse was a look I never wanted to witness again with the girl I love.
“Hey, are we good man?” Isaac asked, as she brought me out of my thoughts.
It had been two days since our fight and Kat and I had pretty much secluded ourselves to my apartment. Now that we were out in the open, you would think we would want to be in public as much as possible to let the world know we were a couple. Instead, though we found we wanted to be together without being secretive about it.
Now, as I stand in the shop with Isaac nervously looking at me, I just wan
t things to go back to normal between us.
“Yes, we are good,” I said, as I stood.
Walking over to him, I shook his hand and drew him in for a one-handed hug.
“Good. I haven’t seen you or Kat in a few days and I was worried you all were still upset,” he added.
The hug seemed to relax him a little bit but he still looked nervous as hell.
“Sorry about that. We have just wanted to be together in privacy,” I stated.
“I get that. Look, I am sorry for everything. I feel terrible that Kat felt like she had to keep you a secret from me. I hate even more that she felt like I wouldn’t support your relationship. I am beyond ecstatic that you and Kat are together. My best friend and my sister- that is awesome,” Isaac stated with a smile.
Finally, he didn’t look so upset anymore and I was glad for the change in him.
“It’s good to hear that. But, you really need to talk to your sister.”
Nodding his head, Isaac agreed. “I am just about to call her. I will see you later,” he waved as he left the shop.
I knew that Isaac and Kat needed to talk. They were close. Closer than any siblings I had ever met and they needed to figure out how to get back to where they were before we broke our secret to them.
19
KAT
The music blaring from my blue tooth speakers gave me the perfect mood for painting. I had stationed myself in the back yard at the house and was working on my next art school assignment.
I really loved studying art at a small art school here in Lexington. I didn’t have to waste my time with classes that didn’t pertain to what I wanted to do. I just wanted to learn about art history and how to perfect my craft and that is exactly what I am doing. This week’s assignment is to find something living outdoors and draw it in a different light. We had to just various dark paint colors to give the object a dark and sorrowful mood. This was exactly what I loved about art; you could transform anything into something different with just a stroke of your brush or adding a different color.
I was in the middle of creating a scene from the trees lining the back fence. The air feels wonderful as the cool air of fall sweeps through the city. The once orange and red leaves of the trees had fallen and are now blanketing the grass below. I had decided to transform this image of one of a snow-filled winter backdrop. I would add white to the ground to cover up the warm colors and add a gray sky and make the trees look as though they were reaching out and trying to grab you and pull you into the image.
