Wolf

by D. M. Turner

  “If you feel this is something you need to do, then yes, I want you to pursue it.”

  “Really? You’re sure?”

  Ian chuckled. “I’m sure. I wouldn’t say so otherwise.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m just… surprised. I expected… well… not approval.”

  That half-grin he shared with his son, extra canine tooth and all, appeared. “I guess you don’t know me as well as you think, eh?”

  “I guess not.” Tanya picked up the sheaf of paper. “I’ll keep writing then. I didn’t want to go any further without checking with you first.” First readers. Hadn’t Gail mentioned that she enjoyed urban fantasy? Hm.

  The satellite phone on the desk rang, and she got up to leave Ian to his phone call.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s Chris. Is Tanya close by?”

  She froze in her tracks. Her brother wasn’t due to call until the weekend.

  “She’s right here. Hang on.” Ian offered her the phone.

  “Thanks.” She smiled and dropped back into the chair. “Hey, Chris, what’s up?”

  “Pam and I have been talking to Marcy and Alexis. We’re thinking about coming up to spend Thanksgiving with you.”

  Tanya swallowed hard and shot her father-in-law a look. The night before Thanksgiving would be a full moon. Ian wouldn’t allow visitors then.

  He smiled. “If they wait until lunch on Thanksgiving Day, that’s fine. As long as they don’t mind spending the day with a bunch of werewolves. Most of the pack will be here that whole weekend. We’ll have dinner about one.”

  “Did you hear that, Chris?”

  “No. What?” Non-werewolf. She forgot sometimes how bad human ears were compared to those of wolves.

  “Ian said you’re welcome as long as you wait until lunch or thereabouts on Thanksgiving Day to come, and most of the pack will be here all weekend.”

  “Um… we won’t interrupt any… uh… shifting, will we?” He lowered his voice and whispered into the phone. “Sorry, but there are little ears here.”

  “No Shifting.” Ian spoke loud enough to carry even to a human over the phone.

  “Good to know.”

  “The kids still don’t know about me?”

  “No, and we decided it’s probably best to keep it that way until they’re older. Right now… well, let’s just say a secret doesn’t remain secret for long with these two around. They take great pleasure in being the first one to blow it.”

  She chuckled. “Seems to me you and Marcy used to do that, once upon a time.”

  “Yep. Proof that the mother’s curse works, I’m afraid.” He sighed theatrically. “I’ll discuss this further with the girls, and let you know what time to expect us at the main gate on Thanksgiving Day. Marcy and Alexis are really excited at the prospect of seeing you.”

  “I’m looking forward to seeing all of you.” Though they talked at least every couple of weeks, she’d only seen Chris once since her Turning. She hadn’t seen her sisters at all, though they’d talked on the phone a couple of times when either or both visited Chris. He’d kept his early promise not to give out Ian’s phone number.

  “Talk to you soon. Love you.”

  “I love you, too.” A click made her hand the phone back to Ian. “Thanks.”

  “They’re welcome here anytime, except during the full moon obviously.”

  Tanya bit her lip. “That reminds me. Imelda.”

  Ian’s expression turned sober and a bit sad. “She’s not doing well. She hasn’t rebound as they’d hoped from that cold she had three months ago.”

  “What do they want to do?” The sicker the woman was, the less likely she’d survive the Turning, particularly the first Shift.

  “She and Isaac discussed it. She still wants to go through with it.”

  “When?”

  “Tuesday before the full moon. That way she can attempt the first Shift with the waxing gibbous instead of waiting until Wednesday night’s full moon.” Ian sighed. “She told me she doesn’t really want to do it during the holiday season, because if she dies, that’s all Isaac will think about when those days roll around again. She fears she’s not getting better and waiting longer will only reduce her chances of survival.”

  “She’s probably right.” Tanya lowered her gaze to the pages in her lap.

  Ian’s chair rolled across the floor, bringing him right in front of her.

  She glanced up to find a soft, affectionate look she’d never seen before. The sorrow behind it wasn’t reassuring though.

  “I need you to take something very close to heart.”

  “What’s that?”

  “If Imelda dies, it’s not your fault. You haven’t failed. She simply wasn’t strong enough. She’s over fifty years old with stage four cancer that’s already hit her body hard, and she’s not rebounding from a viral infection. Chances are miniscule that she can survive the Turning. She’ll probably die. If she does, it’s not because of any failure on your part.”

  “What makes you think I’d blame myself?”

  “Because you’re still blaming yourself for what happened to you.”

  She flinched then dropped her gaze to the floor to hide the tears that surged up. “I keep trying to figure out why it was so important that I had my Bible. If I hadn’t gone back for it….”

  “People forget things every day. They return to an empty house or apartment for something for school or work. They go back to cars for wallets, keys, purses, any number of things. They go back into office buildings after hours to pick up something they’d left at work. That doesn’t give anyone a license to infringe on their lives.” He covered her hands with his. “You did nothing wrong that night. Nothing. What happened to you was in no way your fault.”

  A sob sneaked out, and tears fell. “Colin’s told me that so many times.”

  “Then why don’t you believe it?”

  “I want to.” She met his gentle gaze. “But….”

  “But what?”

  “My parents blame me, and I can’t help wondering if maybe they’re right.”

  He frowned and cocked his head. “Did they tell you that?”

  “Not in so many words.” She shook her head. “But why else would they shut me out? I understand their initial fear. Fear of the unknown is… powerful. Chris has talked to them, and it’s done no good. It’s more than fear, so I can only assume it’s me. There was a time if someone had asked me if my parents loved me unconditionally, I’d have said yes without hesitation.” She looked back down at their hands.

  “This is what you’re still grieving, isn’t it?”

  Tanya nodded. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in sorrow and guilt. Only Colin keeps me from going under.” She met his gaze again. “I know you both worry, and I hate that I cause it, but I can’t seem to let this go. I try not to think about it, kind of hoping it’ll go away. It won’t stay buried, and I can’t help but think, if I hadn’t become a wolf, things would be fine. Some days, I hate the wolf. Others, I think it’s the best thing that ever happened. Without it, I wouldn’t have Colin, or you, or the friends I’ve made among the pack.”

  “Not to mention, Tommy and Donna would probably be dead.” Ian scratched fingers through his beard. “None of us would’ve thought to have them make the first Shift without the full moon forcing it. Things have never been done that way. You brought fresh eyes and a unique perspective to our lives. They’re alive because of you. Then there’s Kelly. I doubt Brett would’ve noticed her on campus if you hadn’t brought her to his attention. She’d be alone out there and have to deal with her father by herself if he found her. Now, she’s married to our rabidly-confirmed bachelor and has all of us to protect her.”

  Tanya chuckled. Brett and Kelly’s marriage still seemed surreal. The fact it appeared to be working, despite frequent arguments, was even more so. “Brett was bored anyway. She’s good for him.”

  Ian laughed. “You won’t get any disagreement out of me. I’ve known B
rett for a very long time, and I’ve never seen him so… content.”

  “I heard he’s even being nice to his students.” She grinned. “He has an atrocious reputation with the students. Him being nice all of a sudden has thrown them. They’re afraid he’s up to something, doing some sort of social experiment on them without their knowledge.”

  He snorted. “I can’t say I blame them for being paranoid.” He pushed his chair back where it belonged. “Anyway, think about what I said. You’re a valuable member of this pack, in addition to the fact you’ve made my son happy. Whether your parents ever come around, I’d like to see you accept what and who you’ve become. For your sake, as well as that of the pack.”

  “I’ll try.” She got up, her fist closed around the papers. “And I’ll get to work writing some more.”

  “You do that. I look forward to reading it.”

  Tanya left the office, still mulling what he’d said. The grief over her parents was taking a toll. She knew that. But how could she simply dismiss their rejection? They’d always been there for her, through heartaches, heartbreaks, and disappointments, as well as joys and victories. It felt so… wrong for them to not be part of her life anymore.

  She headed upstairs to the bedroom she shared with Colin. He’d set up an office space near the front windows, so she could work in peace. Only, peace was far removed that day. She stared out the window for no more than a moment, tossed the papers on the desk, stripped off her clothes, and began the Shift. A run would allay the effects of the dark moon.

  * * *

  Why did I let Dad talk me into this? Colin stood in line at the DMV and sighed. Why? Because ultimately it was for Tanya, that’s why. Dad had bought her a car and wanted to surprise her. She hadn’t once complained about being reliant on Brett or Colin or anyone else for rides to and from school or to run errands. Not a single gripe, though it had to be a pain at times. Dad wanted to reward her patience and perseverance.

  Which meant someone had to stand in line at the DMV to deal with the title. They’d counted on the fact that Tanya would refuse to accept such a gift if the car was brand new, so they’d found a used car in good condition and had their mechanic go over it with a fine-toothed comb.

  He should’ve waited until later in the week. He glanced at the clock. The darkness of the new moon clung to him. It would be even worse for Tanya, given the grief she still struggled with. He should be with her, not standing in a line that wasn’t moving.

  Someone’s infant or toddler needed a diaper change. He grimaced and shot another glare at the clock. Was that thing working?

  After an eternity, Colin finally had the paperwork submitted, updated, and in hand. He brushed past people to get out of the building, trying not to breathe too deeply in the process. Why did humans wear so much cologne and perfume? It was sickening, made even worse when they congregated together.

  Tanya weighed on his heart and thoughts all the way back to the Preserve. Colin forced his foot not to mash the gas pedal. They didn’t need him to get a speeding ticket because the new moon had made him antsy for his mate. Worse, if he was stopped, he’d probably be less than nice to the cop who stopped him. He wouldn’t do anyone any good from jail or on the run from the cops because he’d hurt one. Then there was also the possibility he’d get himself killed hitting a patch of ice on the road.

  It’s not far. Stay within the speed limit. Tanya’s fine. She’s with Dad.

  He glanced at the speedometer and eased off the gas. Apparently her being with his father wasn’t enough to ease his mind.

  As if to remind him to take care, the car hit a wet-looking patch of blacktop and slid.

  He held his breath and controlled the skid as best he could.

  Thankfully, tires caught on pavement again, and the car straightened out.

  Thank you, Lord.

  * * *

  Tanya circled the perimeter of the land within the twenty-foot wall. Too bad Colin wasn’t with her. He’d keep her occupied with play or hunting. Hunting alone was no fun. She broke through some underbrush and stopped. The front gate was open. Ian hadn’t said anything about going anywhere, so someone must be coming in. Colin returning? She approached to see.

  No vehicle sat on the other side. Had Colin left the gate open when he left? Didn’t they normally keep it closed? It had been closed every time she’d come and gone from the Preserve. Maybe she should go back to the house and alert Ian. He might not know.

  She studied the road and forest beyond the gate. The pack had run and hunted beyond the gate in the past, but that had been before she’d come. The males had hunted out there when tracking a mountain lion that had invaded their territory and nearly killed Brett the month before. Was it different from the land inside the gate’s protection?

  Maybe Ian knew the gate was open. Perhaps it was a sign that there were no threats about, and everyone could come and go freely.

  Hm. Yeah, that must be it. Ian always seemed to know everything. He’d probably opened the gate and left it open.

  Curiosity won out. Tanya padded down the road, through the gate, and raised her head to scent the air. She caught the faintest hint of Brett and Kelly’s scents and lowered her nose to the ground. They’d been out for a run recently. Maybe Kelly would run with her. She’d seen their house from the rock on the property Colin had set aside for them, but she hadn’t been there. It wouldn’t be hard to find though. Follow the road and take the fork opposite the one to hers and Colin’s private sanctuary.

  She found the fork and followed the unfamiliar road. How long would it take her to reach Brett and Kelly’s home? She should’ve thought to ask Colin before.

  A thump pinched her shoulder hard enough to hurt.

  Tanya yelped and sidestepped away from whatever had attacked her, turning at the same time to face the threat. Nothing but trees. She whipped her head around to look at her shoulder. A dart? She tried to pull it out, but it was beyond the reach of her teeth.

  She wobbled slightly then braced her feet further apart.

  The world went sideways, and her legs collapsed beneath her as strength fled. Vision blurred then went black.

  The crunch of boots on rocky ground came from a long distance away.

  What’s happening?

  * * *

  “Are you sure she went for a run?” Hands on his jean-clad hips, Colin blocked the doorway to his father’s office. He hadn’t taken the time to put on socks and shoes, or even a shirt yet, and the air in the house held a faint chill. He needed to finish getting dressed. Then again, maybe he should Shift and look for Tanya again.

  Dad glanced up from his reading, a frown drawing his brows together. “I saw her go out the dog door earlier. You didn’t find her?”

  “No. I tracked her scent out the gate, but it ended on the road to Brett and Kelly’s.”

  “What do you mean, it ‘ended’?” His father straightened in his seat.

  “I mean it was there then it stopped. I thought she might’ve back-tracked to the house.” He wrinkled his nose. “I smelled traces of a human.”

  “Humans? On the Preserve grounds?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wait a minute. How did she get outside the inner gate?”

  “It was open when I came back from the run to town. I think it’s stuck. I couldn’t get it to close when I returned.”

  “Did it close behind you when you left?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t stick around long enough to notice. I wanted to get to town and back to spend the day with Tanya.”

  “The track must’ve gotten jammed again.” Dad sighed. “We’ll deal with that later. For now, we need to find Tanya. I’ll get hold of O’Neil and Carlos. The others are at work, but I’ll page them to call as soon as they can.”

  * * *

  “Did you find her?” A gruff male voice punctured the bubble of darkness. The words were fuzzy, barely recognizable.

  “One white wolf, per your instructions.”

  “Did yo
u have any trouble?”

  “Not a lick. She came along as quiet as can be.”

  Tanya kept her eyes closed and pretended to be unconscious. What had been in that dart? Who had shot her? Why did she feel so weak and sick to her stomach?

  “Should she still be unconscious?”

  “I gauged the dose based on what you said she weighed. She’s a lot lighter than that, so the dose was too high. I couldn’t adjust it once I was in the field. She should be alright though. I’ve been monitoring her vitals.”

  Footsteps came closer. The scent of an unfamiliar wolf made her want to sneeze. “You idiot! It’s the wrong wolf!”

  “You told me to grab a white, female wolf. That’s a white, female wolf. You didn’t say there might be more than one.”

  A low growl suggested the accuser wasn’t inclined toward forgiveness. “They’re bound to notice this one’s missing. It’ll make it more difficult to snatch the right one.”

  The right one? A different white female? Tanya forced her breathing not to give away her realization. They were after Kelly. The only other white wolf in the pack. Kelly had a patch on her back with dark gray hair sprinkled through it, where Tanya was pure white. Her abductor hadn’t been informed of that, apparently.

  “Regardless, I hired you to do a job, and you’ll do it if you want to get paid.”

  “I don’t understand why you’re hiring this out. Why don’t you and your men go in and take the one you want?”

  “She’ll smell us coming. You, she doesn’t know.”

  An amused snort broke the resulting silence. “You talk about the animal like she has human intelligence. It’s a wolf. Nothing more. You can outsmart her.”

  “You don’t know her.” He huffed a sigh, and footsteps moved away.

  Tanya opened her eyes a slit. Her vision was still blurry, but clearing up bit by bit.

  Metal bars encircled her.

  Another prison.

  Her heart slammed against her ribs. No. Not again. She had to find a way out. There had to be a way.

  Five men were within visual range. One had a rifle slung over his shoulder. Three stood to one side, their gazes down.

  The final man, the one who was moving around, gritted his teeth and scowled at all of them. “I want the one we came after.”