Let Loose for Me

by Coffman, Georgia

  “I can take a peek down there and make sure everything’s still working properly. Maybe give your pu—”

  “Get out!”

  His chuckle echoes through the apartment long after he leaves.

  I take a drink of water, then rub my temples as faint sounds of a headboard banging against a wall fill my head. I will myself to forget the horrid memory.

  Just like I’ve been willing myself to forget it the last several months.

  All the yoga in the world hasn’t helped me forget about Brant and what he did to me. It’s been almost two years, and I still remember.

  Especially since I ran into him a few months ago.

  That night brought all the memories back stronger than ever.

  Then he had the nerve to text me right after our run-in.

  To make matters worse, I now have Ty giving me grief with his devilish smile and gruff voice.

  I’m staring at a bottle of wine when Kendall comes into the kitchen. “What’re you doing?”

  “I’m debating on whether I want more alcohol.”

  “Yes. The answer is always yes.” She nods enthusiastically.

  With a frustrated breath, I swipe the bottle from the counter and take a seat on the couch. “Did you tell Ty about my no-guy pact?”

  Kendall averts her gaze innocently from me to the screen.

  I stop her with a glare, then take a sip of wine. “I can’t believe you.”

  “What? I didn’t know it was a secret.” She frowns. “Besides, it’s just Ty. What’s it matter if he knows about your no dick zone, anyway?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I say hesitantly, then shift in my seat and square my shoulders back, trying more to convince myself than her. “I’m just wondering who else you’ve told.”

  “No one. I swear, dude.” She smiles sweetly, and I want to strangle her like I almost do when she cooks and doesn’t wipe the stove off.

  “And don’t use crude words.”

  “Okay, Grandma.” She nudges me with her shoulder, then wraps her arm around me in a quick hug.

  We pick the movie back up where we left off.

  Sighing softly, I snuggle into my corner of the couch, hugging a blanket around me.

  I might be closed off to men for the time being—and for good reason—but it doesn’t stop me from wanting my own happy ending someday.

  It’s why I love romantic comedies. They give me hope that my happy ever after exists.

  That I’ll find it someday.

  That guys like Ty won’t toy with me.

  Ty is dangerous to girls like me. More heartache than a Shakespearian drama. He’s trouble I definitely want no part of.

  That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway.

  CHAPTER 5

  Ty

  On the flight to Houston the next morning, I have no problem dozing off. Didn’t get much sleep through my nightmares and helping Sebastian get things in order for the hotel.

  And because thoughts of Emma in her tiny shorts kept me up with a raging hard-on.

  I’ve never felt blue balls this bad before. Of course, the ice queen herself would freeze them. Emma would rather inflict pain on me than admit there’s something between us, a chemistry that’s more palpable than if it was made in a lab.

  Last night, I saw the way her lips parted when I was close to her, like she wanted me to kiss her. Like she could almost taste my lips on hers.

  She’s fighting her attraction to me.

  She’s trying hard to keep her no-guy streak alive, but I’m determined to break it.

  “Why are you smiling at us like that?” Leo directs his question at me, dropping his bag by the bed once we’re inside our hotel room.

  “I’m not smiling.”

  Sebastian plops on the bed. “You were. Were you dreaming about pussy or a sandwich? Could go either way.” He and Leo fist bump.

  “You two are just jealous of my moves.”

  “Yeah right,” they say in unison, scoffing.

  “You just wish you could be as smooth as me with the ladies,” I say, throwing a towel over my shoulder. “Meet you guys at the pool.”

  Walking down the hall, I check my phone. Emma’s Instagram profile is pulled up already, and as I ride the elevator, I scroll through her profile like it can help me figure her out, or why I think about her constantly.

  There’s something in her eyes. In the way she moves. So much rage.

  She’s clearly been hurt. I’m too familiar with a woman scorned, so I know one when I see one. Especially when they slap me across the face, and not in a kinky way.

  She’s complicated, and I have a twisted interest in her type. An urge to release her pent-up frustration. That’s all it is.

  I keep scrolling but don’t find evidence of an ex. Of anything other than yoga pictures and #MotivationMonday posts. No pictures of Mason, even.

  Maybe they are just friends.

  I click off my phone, shaking my head at how ridiculous I’m being. I barely know the woman. All she’s done since we met is sneer more than laugh, then judge me for my habits.

  I shouldn’t care.

  I should be focusing on other women. Women like Dani who texted me a hot pic of her tits this morning. Easy women who make me forget.

  Once I’m by the pool, I spread my towel on a chair and lie back in the blazing sun. Sebastian’s shadow falls over me as if appearing out of nowhere, but Leo pulls him back and takes out his phone. Pointing it at me, he says, “Look natural. I need something to post for social media later.”

  This is nothing new, so I relax against the chair, pursing my thin lips.

  More of the guys from our group come out of the building, and Leo waves them over. “I’m going to take a few candid shots, so if you guys can please refrain from picking your noses or doing anything else weird, that’d be great.”

  With that, Jordan tries to act natural, but the camera gets the best of him. He ends up jutting his hip out farther than necessary and gives Leo a duck face. “What the fuck are you doing?” I pipe up from behind Leo. “Get in the pool and dunk your head under so you have a wet look. Rafael, you jump in too, and then toss him the volleyball.” I search around for a third and land on Sebastian. He can show them how it’s done. “You’re up, bro. Get in with Jordan, and play volleyball or whatever shit you feel like.”

  Leo smirks, studying his phone. He seems to be debating something, and when he reaches into his bag for his camera, I know he’s decided to make this an impromptu photo session.

  He turns the camera to me, and I lean back into my earlier position. Leo peers above the lens at me. “You have any lotion or oil or something? You’re looking a little too natural.”

  I roll my eyes and pull a small bottle of oil from my pocket. I carry it around for times like these—I’m not an amateur. Eight years with Naked Heat has taught me everything I need to know. Leo snaps a few shots of the guys in the pool while I finish oiling up, then turns the camera toward me.

  I stare into the distance behind my Ray-Ban sunglasses, watching the city from our rooftop pool. Without a word, Leo continues snapping shots, then asks us all to take a group shot.

  I dip into the pool as well, to be consistent with the other guys. The water is warm, like I’m in a hot tub, but I welcome its warmth. It’s still refreshing in this Texas heat.

  No one groans or complains, especially when Leo has to take a few extra shots because Jordan’s eyes are closed in most of them. This is the drill. This is what we signed up for when we wanted to be part of Naked Heat.

  But after business, we have fun, joking and teasing each other. These days, most of the teasing is focused on Sebastian and his girl. Guys like us don’t tend to settle down, so he’s an easy target.

  “Did you get your old lady’s permission to be here? Have to beg?” Jordan nudges Raf.

  Sebastian knows how to hold his own, though. “Did you have to get your mom’s permission? Dude, can you even get your dick hard yet? You don’t look like you�
��ve hit puberty.”

  They keep at it this way while they swim, lazily tossing the volleyball between them. I smile from my chair when they burst into laughter with each comeback, like it’s a competition of who can be the snarkiest.

  “You did good,” Leo says to me, then points at pictures on his camera.

  “I look good in a picture?” I fake being shocked, placing my hand over my chest, my mouth hanging open.

  He wipes the corners of his mouth like he’s trying not to laugh, then sits in the chair next to me.

  A few women enter the pool area, immediately catching sight of us. They stop just before they get to us, within flirting distance but far enough for a quick getaway if need be.

  I know their games. I know them all too well, and I’ve always been eager to play, an urge that developed as my muscles grew. As I left my former nerdy self behind.

  Leo punches my arm. “Are you listening to me, man?”

  “Yes. You were saying I’m the hottest stripper you know. Can I please just enjoy some sun without you fawning all over me?”

  He scoffs as Sebastian jumps into the pool, making a big splash, which makes the girls giggle. “Would you stop watching them like they’re filet mignon and listen to the compliment I’m trying to give you?” Leo’s voice is laced with irritation but also sarcasm, so I know he’s just trying to be real with me.

  I set joking aside and give him my full attention.

  “You did good back there, showing the guys what they need to do for good pictures. These pictures are necessary for—”

  “For our brand, image, and free advertising,” I finish for him.

  I catch a wave from a brunette in my periphery. I’m tempted to wink at her, but Leo’s more serious than usual.

  “Good. You know your stuff, and you’re doing real good with the group, you know.”

  “Dude, what’s going on?”

  “I’m giving you a compliment.”

  “I got that, but why? You have that look…”

  He picks up a stray pebble by his feet and tosses it into the bushes behind us, then shrugs. “I’m just doing what I do, motivating people.” He smiles like he knows something, but that’s the end of our conversation. He gets up and heads toward the bar, nodding at the women next to us but not stopping.

  That’s Leo. He’s not the flirt the rest of us usually are.

  I glance at the brunette in a red bikini. She watches me as she takes a sip of her mimosa, then licks her lips after she swallows. The whole scene moves in slow motion just for me. She smiles down at something her friend says but glances back to me every now and then.

  She’s obvious. There’s no challenge there, and here lately, I’ve been craving a challenge. And Emma seems like the perfect one.

  Sebastian stands above me, the water from his hair dripping onto my toes. “What’re you still doing sitting here? A whole group of women two feet away, and you’re not over there making some lame joke they all fall for before they fall into bed with you?”

  I straighten my back, knowing I can make a joke about mimosa being a pussy drink, which would make her involuntarily squeeze her thighs together. Then jokes aside, I’d make a seductive comment about wanting to know if hers tastes as refreshing as orange juice.

  That shit works every time.

  I turn back to Sebastian, who sits on the other side of me, away from the girls. “I’m just trying to soak up some sun. Make them squirm a little before I make my big move.”

  “What’s more sun going to do for you? You’re almost as dark as this chair.” He points to the chairs we’re lying on, which are indeed as dark as the night sky.

  I snort, ready to make a smartass comment, but Leo’s curious gaze is still on me, even as he talks with the other guys.

  Leaning toward Sebastian, I ask, “What’s Leo’s deal? Seems like he’s trying to tell me something, but won’t spit it out.”

  “He does that often, doesn’t he?”

  I nod, knowing that’s how he is, but this seems different somehow.

  “He hasn’t said anything to me, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

  I nod again, deciding to let it go. To wait for Leo to come to me when he’s ready. I smile at Sebastian who’s texting. “You talking to your hot blond? Sexting? Sending nudes? Let me see.”

  “Grow up.” He shoves me before lying back.

  “Never.” I settle back with my hands behind my head, soaking up these moments like I am the sun’s rays.

  I forget the brunette.

  Instead, my mind wanders to slender legs and a tight ponytail long enough to tug on.

  CHAPTER 6

  Emma

  My reflection in the mirrors follows me around as though I'm not alone. At first, being in the studio by myself creeped me out, but now it's my quiet place.

  My place.

  I sit cross-legged on my mat and face an empty classroom.

  The windows allow natural light into the room, but it’s not too bright today with the clouds hovering. I run my hand over the farm-style bamboo flooring, drawing small circles with my finger. I had this new flooring installed immediately, one of the easiest decisions to make as my life spiraled after Brant and I broke up.

  Designing the studio was easy. Taking over was easy. The instructor training, easy.

  It was all easy because these things kept my mind off my broken heart.

  The eucalyptus candle soothes my mind, cleansing my sinuses and soul. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.

  In and out.

  Clear my mind.

  In and out.

  When I finally open my eyes, I don’t know if it’s been an hour or one minute since I got here. My shoulders relax, and I smile to myself, glad I came early. I rarely get these moments to myself to just… be.

  I’m so used to staying busy, but yoga has always kept me grounded and sane during the chaos.

  Without yoga, I’d be turning into Jean from X-Men, ready to burn the world down.

  Right after Brant, I became an angry version of myself. Even Kendall didn’t recognize me.

  I couldn’t bear to be alone. Even my apartment was too lonely, too suffocating. Until Kendall moved in. She may have been distraught when she dropped out of college back then, but selfishly, I was relieved. It gave her the extra push to move out here with me.

  Reaching for my phone, I still have thirty minutes before class, which I use to check my social media. The studio has been doing pretty well growing a following, especially since I started sharing featured poses every week. The open house last month helped too.

  Once I answer a couple messages from regulars having to miss class today and others asking about rates, I scroll through my feed idly passing everyone’s summer vacation pictures, including my dad’s with his new family. I roll my eyes and keep going.

  Until I reach Ty’s profile.

  I stop. My breath hitches, all the good I did with my breathing exercises moot. My body lights up hotter than when I do hot yoga.

  He shared a picture from Naked Heat’s profile.

  A picture of him.

  Nude.

  His bare backside, anyway. His ass faces the camera, his head turned back. He’s smiling, a devilish smile that twists my stomach. That and the rippling muscles in his back make me tingly.

  My chest heaves just looking at a picture, making me wonder what it’d be like to see it in person.

  To squeeze it.

  While he’s on top of me…

  “Like what you see, huh?”

  I gasp and drop my phone. Jumping up, my head nearly smacks Ty’s on the way up. “How long have you been standing there?” I inwardly roll my eyes at how breathless I am, but I chalk it up to just being scared shitless. Hope Ty sees it that way too.

  But judging by his smug smile, his gaze pinning me down, he definitely caught me red-handed. And he’s obviously making giant assumptions about my attraction to him. So what if he looks like a love child between Zoe Saldana and The
Rock?

  I’m not attracted to him.

  I’m not.

  I’m not.

  I’m not.

  Oh, fucking hell.

  CHAPTER 7

  Ty

  I peer down at her, trying hard not to show how much I’m enjoying this.

  “I’ve been standing here long enough to know you were pining over my bare ass and probably even sad I wasn’t facing forward. I’m pretty sure, had I not walked in, you would’ve started touching yourself. I’m right, aren’t I?”

  She stands back, crossing her arms, putting up that wall I’m all too familiar with at this point. “That’s disgusting—all of that. Posting a nude online is borderline porn, you know.”

  “Is that what they teach you in Alabama?”

  She glares, standing to her full height, which is still a foot shorter than me. “It’s what society teaches me. Now everyone’s seen your ass, and you’re proud of that? Like I said, disgusting.”

  Before I have a chance to respond, her face quickly falls.

  Like she’s sorry.

  It makes my heart race.

  “I don’t believe you.” I step closer to her, taking a chance and invading her space, the quiet studio and her full lips tempting. “I think you like it.”

  She opens her mouth and closes it, my gaze trained on her every movement as my dick stirs. I’m enjoying flustering her and making her neck red with intrigue. She’s usually so put together, not a hair out of place, her attire always matching, and sneakers always clean. What’s with that, anyway? Who owns white sneakers that actually stay white? It’s like she bleaches them every night while she watches something boring. Like Little House on the Prairie reruns.

  She huffs, but her voice is weaker than before. “Well… I don’t, mister. Only a chippy would like that shit.”

  “Call me mister again. That was hot.” I wink at her, ignoring my urge to laugh at her “chippy” comment. Never heard anyone use that term in a real-life sentence.

  She rolls her eyes and tries to step away from me, but I can’t let her. I only have a few minutes alone with her before people file in, swallowing me to the background, where I’ll only be another of her customers.