With a hand on her elbow, Mr. Carmichael helped her to her feet. She was a little wobbly but took a few steps. She had to get to Logan.
“Go ahead and take all the time off you need lovey,” Tim softly told her with a light squeeze of her arm.
Jessica nodded at her boss and friend before making her way to the front door. Mr. Carmichael stayed by her side the entire time. The man helping her was nothing like the happy go-lucky man she saw at Nina’s wedding. This man was serious. The gravity of the situation burned even brighter.
The drive to the hospital passed in a blur. Jessica knew she would never be able to find this place on her own. After parking the car, Mr. Carmichael helped her into the building. A thought niggled in the back of her mind. This was not the hospital that served the town. The drive there would have taken much longer than the one to this clinic.
A woman in white opened the door and ushered them inside. Mutely, she guided them down the bare, white hall to a room at the end. She swung open the door and gestured for Jessica to enter. The first thing she saw was Nina. And Gabe. Nina was wrapped in her husband’s arms, silently weeping. The other man had marks of tears down his cheeks. Turning her head, she came face-to-face with the man who held her heart. Logan laid in the hospital bed with bandages covering his chest and waist. Wraps covered his arms and legs. Bruises marred his handsome face. The enormity of his injuries smacked her upside the head. She let out a soft whimper, garnering the attention of the room’s occupants. Not sparing them a glance, Jessica collapsed next to Logan. She tentatively reached out to touch his hand but pulled away at the last minute.
“It’s OK. You can touch him,” Gabe’s deep voice called out softly.
“It’s my fault,” she whispered.
“No, it’s not Jessica,” Gabe tried to reassure her.
“But it is! I told him yesterday we were over. He was so upset when he left. I should have given him a chance! Why couldn’t I have given him a chance?!” she wailed.
Our mate! He’s hurt so badly! He has to make it!
The voice in her head howled in pain and whimpered out its ache.
“Jessica. This is not your fault. The only shoulders blame belongs on, is that of the hunters that did this to him.”
“Hunters?”
Nina and Gabe exchanged a look before Nina nodded and turned to leave the room. Right before she walked out of the room with her father, Nina turned back around.
“I was scared too Jessica. I had never felt the things I did for Gabriel before. They terrified me. But I took a chance on the man I had started to know. And that was the best decision I had ever made. Sometimes the scariest things, turn out to be the best things,” with her parting words, Nina left with her dad.
“Logan wanted to be the one to tell you everything, but I think with these circumstances he would be OK with this,” Gabe sat down in a chair in the room and gestured for Jessica to take its companion.
“Logan and I are different. We are not like you or Nina,” he began.
“What do you mean?”
“Logan and I are shifters. We can turn into animals. Wolves to be precise. Most of this town can. My ancestor formed this town as a safe haven for shifters. After a while, he deemed it necessary to allow humans into the town in order to help keep our secret from the world.
“I am the leader of the wolf shifter pack here. The Alpha. Logan is my second in command. My Beta. We have lived here our entire lives and work to keep our people safe and hidden from the outside world. Only a few select humans in town know about our existence.”
“Like who?”
“Lillian at the diner for one. Nina’s dad knows. There are a few others around, but I think those are the ones you would know.”
“What did Nina mean, when she left?”
Gabe took a deep breath and sat back in his chair.
“Nina and I are considered fated mates. We are the other half to the other’s soul. We were made explicitly for each other. Shifters grow up waiting for the day they can find their fated. For some it happens early in life, for others it never happens. Fated mates are very rare. When two shifters find their fated mates, things move fast. They complete the mating and bonding ceremonies almost immediately. If a shifter waits too long to mate with their fated, they could lose all sense of themselves. When a shifter’s mate is human, they have a little more patience but not much.”
“I don’t understand. . .”
“You will. This explains the intense emotions you have had for Logan since the two of you first met. The two of you are fated mates.”
“That still doesn’t make any sense. There is no such thing.”
“Logan makes you feel safe. Protected. Loved. He makes you feel all the emotions that a significant other is supposed to evoke in you. You have never felt neglected. Only cherished. The two of you fit well together. Get along great. And when you spend time together, it is magical, and you don’t want it to end. I know you feel this because all fated mates experience the same thing. Shifters recognize their mates and rejoice in feeling these things. We all long to feel them. But for humans it can be scary. You have probably never had this mix of emotions before and don’t know what to do with them. So you fight them. Eventually though, you’ll give in to them and live a long and happy life with your mate.”
Jessica grew silent at Gabe’s explanation. He hit the nail on the proverbial head. Logan did make her feel all of that. Knowing the flood of intense emotions had a source and reason, calmed her terror slightly.
“He’s my soul mate?”
Gabe nodded and smiled softly at her, “He’s the one the universe has created just for you.”
Jessica turned her head and just stared at Logan’s prone body on the bed. Another wave of guilt washed over her.
“I did cause this. When he came to see me yesterday, I broke things off with him. He wasn’t thinking straight when he left the coffee shop. Because of my actions, he walked right into his attack!”
“No, Jessica. Logan wasn’t targeted by the hunters. For the last few weeks, there have been a small group of hunters in our forest. They’ve attacked shifter wolves by beating, stabbing, and until now, shooting them. Killing them in the end. We think they are doing this for sport since they leave the wolves behind. Logan was a target of opportunity. He was outnumbered by the hunters. Even if the two of you hadn’t of fought, Logan wouldn’t have stood a chance. It’s a miracle he’s even still alive.”
Jessica swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.
“I thought werewolves had super healing powers or something,” she attempted to joke.
Gabe smiled at her cheekiness, “We prefer the term shifter. But you are right. We do have advanced healing powers. But this attack was savage. He lost a lot of blood and used up much of his energy. He was weak. With what little strength he had left, he shifted back to human form. That is why he’s still alive. If we’re hurt and then shift, our healing abilities kick into overdrive in an attempt to save us. After Logan shifted, we think he passed out. It’s touch and go from here.”
We heal like he does!
“What?” Jessica asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“You just said something. About how we heal.”
“I didn’t say anything about you healing Jessica,” a thoughtful look came across Gabe’s face. “Jessica, do you heal very quickly?”
“Sometimes.”
“What about hearing a voice? Do you sometimes hear a voice in your head that doesn’t quite sound like you?”
Jessica’s face paled. There is no way Gabe could know that. She never told a soul about the voice in her head for fear of being told she was crazy.
“Do you know anything about your father, Jessica?”
At her shake of the head, Gabe leaned forward and grasped her hand.
“Your dad was a shifter from my pack. He got around with the women, but he always went back to your mom. He was killed in an accident before she even knew abo
ut you. When my dad found out your mom was pregnant, he kept a close eye on her. From what we could tell, she had no idea what your father was. So, we kept an eye on you when you were little to see if you would show signs of being a shifter too. When you didn’t shift, we thought that was it. Eventually we realized that you had our healing powers. Sometimes this happens to offspring of a shifter and a human. Their child doesn’t inherit all shifter abilities. This child is called a latent. Jessica, you are a latent shifter. The voice you hear, is your wolf. She’s probably become more vocal since you met Logan.”
Jessica stared down at her hands in her lap. She never knew her father. And her mom never talked about him. She died before Jessica was old enough to really ask questions.
But Gabe’s reveal made more sense than Jessica could admit. She always felt something was missing in her life. She never felt truly alone when she went to her foster homes. There was this feeling of someone being with her constantly. She had just chalked it up to her imagination or her inner voice. Instead things started to make much more sense. Her intense feelings for Logan. The word choice of the voice in her head. The voice itself.
She stared at Logan’s body before meeting Gabe’s eyes. Her own filled with tears. She felt like her life had been a lie. No. Not a lie. She almost wasted it. She almost lost it with Logan’s attack.
“I know this is a lot Jessica. You can ask any questions you have at any time,” Gabe tried to sooth her.
Jessica just shook her head. She rose from her seat and went to Logan’s side. Sitting on the side of the bed, she grasped his cool hand in hers as she looked down at his face. How she wished Logan would wake up! All of this new information was overwhelming to her and Logan was the only person she wanted to talk to about it. She felt as if her heart was reaching out to Logan.
“You really care for him, don’t you?” Gabe suddenly questioned.
Jessica nodded her head in response.
“Then why did you break things off yesterday?”
“I was scared. I’ve never been able to trust any of the men in my life. Nor myself in picking these men. They all left after a while. I couldn’t bear to let Logan do the same to me. So, I ended things before he could.”
“Jessica, he would never hurt you. He’s physically incapable of hurting you in any way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Fated mates cannot harm one another. Not physically, emotionally, or mentally. It hurts not just the other, but you as well.”
“I don’t know how to trust him not to,” she barely whispered.
“You take it one step at a time.”
Jessica nodded and turned back to Logan. Seeing him lying in that bed pulled at her. An ache settled deep in her chest. With every ounce of her being, she silently pleaded for him to survive. He had to survive. She had too many questions for him not to.
And because you want to be with him! You want to be with our fated mate!
Jessica closed her eyes at the voice in her head. The voice of her wolf. And it was absolutely correct. She did want to be with him. She loved him. And the potential future for the two of them was slowly dwindling with each passing minute that Logan did not improve. Jessica sniffed at the pain of not knowing if Logan would make it. If he would make it back to her.
The door to the room swung open and banged against the wall. Gabe jumped to his feet and placed himself between Logan, Jessica, and the door. Glancing around Gabe to see who interrupted, Jessica caught sight of Logan’s parents.
Gerald and Lucia stood in the doorway. He had a hand on his wife’s shoulder, trying to keep her calm. The look of panic and terror was evident on both their faces. Their only child lay in a hospital bed, not healing the way he should. And there was no guarantee he would wake up.
Lucia bustled towards Gabe and Jessica with tears streaming down her face. Jessica’s heart broke even further at the sight of the other woman.
“What happened, Gabriel? Why is he not waking up? He should be awake by now. Gabriel, what happened to my son?!” Lucia sobbed into Gabe’s chest. The more she talked, the more freaked out she became.
Gabe held her to his chest as she cried. He looked up into Gerald’s eyes with a grief-stricken look on his face.
“We know he was attacked by the hunters while in wolf form. It seems he was able to shift before he passed out,” Gabe explained to them quietly.
“Do we know why he isn’t healing?” Gerald asked as his wife turned to burrow into his chest.
Gabe sent a look over to Jessica before answering, “The doctor thinks that he has given up. His mind has put up roadblocks, so he doesn’t heal.”
A small whimper came from Jessica. She knew that she was the roadblock. She was the reason he was distracted in the woods. She was the reason he couldn’t wake up. It was all her fault!
“But why!? He has everything going for him!” a tearful Lucia cried out.
“Because of me,” Jessica piped up softly. “He came to see me at work, and I told him we were over. I couldn’t get past my fears and insecurities to give him a real chance. I am so sorry.”
“Oh sweetheart. You didn’t cause any of this,” Lucia tried to reassure her.
Lucia moved towards the bed and grasped Jessica’s hand. The older woman gave her a warm smile before her eyes cut to her son on the bed. Still grasping Jessica’s hand, she bent over and placed a kiss on Logan’s forehead.
“But I did Lucia. If I hadn’t of hurt Logan by breaking up with him, he wouldn’t have been attacked.”
“Jessica. If it wasn’t Logan, it would have been someone else. And Logan is probably one of the few in the pack that could survive an attack like this,” Gabe enforced.
“Our boy is strong. He’ll pull through,” Gerald asserted. He spared a look at Gabe who slightly nodded.
A shot of realization ran through Jessica. She had an idea on what the silent communication between Gabe and Gerald was about.
“Jessica, did Gabriel explain everything to you?” Gerald asked.
“Explain what?” Lucia interjected. She whipped her head from each person in the room.
“Gabe told me about who Logan is. Who he is to me,” Jessica gently whispered.
“You love him,” Lucia announced.
Jessica nodded her head, “I do. I didn’t know what he meant to me until I heard about his attack. And now I feel like I’ll never have the chance to tell him.”
“Oh sweetheart. You can. Out of everyone, you are the one that can pull him out of this. You can give him the strength he needs to wake up. Let him know you are in this. That you love him and want this. He needs to know. And I promise you, he can hear you. Out of all of us, the bond already between you two is enough that he can hear you during this dark time,” Lucia beamed at her while taking her hands.
Lucia looked deep into Jessica’s eyes. It was as if the older woman placed all her emotions behind her words, into one look. It was a look that rocked Jessica to her core. She did want this. She wanted Logan. And she was going to tell him.
“Maybe we should give them a minute. We can go talk to the doctor,” Gabe suggested to Gerald and Lucia.
Gerald placed a hand on Lucia’s back and sent a small, sad smile to Jessica. His eyes pleaded with her to tell Logan’s sleeping form what she was feeling. To do whatever she could to bring him back.
Lucia gave her a watery smile of reassurance. Jessica knew what she needed to say would be tough, but she needed to say it. And Lucia’s encouragement gave her the last little bit of courage she needed.
Gabe gave a small head nod to her as he went out the door with Logan’s parents. Jessica had no doubt that the man would go and find his wife. No. His mate. It felt weird thinking that, but she could also feel the voice inside her head beam with happiness.
Turning back to Logan, Jessica sat back down on the bed. She grasped his hand in hers and just stared down at him. She drew her fingertip across his eyebrow and down the side of his cheek. Taking a deep breath, she knew it
was time.
“Oh Logan. I am so sorry. I feel like this is my fault. If I hadn’t of hurt you the way I did, none of this would have happened. Everyone says differently, but I’m not sure. The guilt is still there,” Jessica swiped at the tear sliding down her cheek.
“I should have told you how I felt. How scared I was. You made me feel things I had never felt before. I felt peace. And safety. Comfort. Love. God, that last one terrified me. I had only just met you and you provoked feelings of love in me? It was crazy. And scary.
“I’ve never had a good relationship with a man. They weren’t solid. Nothing lasted with them. Nor did they want anything for the long term. They would tell me I wasn’t good enough for something like that. You hear that enough and you start to believe it.
“Everyone eventually left me, and I thought you would too once you got tired of me. I liked you so much that I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that, so I did the only thing I felt I could do. I pushed you away. I pushed until you were no longer there and that may have cost you your life. I am so sorry Logan. I would take it back if I could. Because you are not something I want to push away. I want to pull you close because I love you too.”
Jessica let out a watery, choked laugh.
“Yeah I said it. I love you Logan St. Amoux. And I need you to wake up so we can figure this thing out together. I need you to wake up and give me that soft smile I know no one else gets and tell me I’m not crazy for having these intense feelings. Gabe explained it all to me, but I still need you. I need you to help me converse this crazy path our souls want to travel together.
“Please wake up, baby. I need you here with me. I want whatever this is. I want it so bad. To give us a shot. To be your mate. Whatever that means. See? This is why you need to wake up, so you can explain all of this to me. So we can do it together.”
A soft laugh escaped her lips. She scrubbed her hand across her face to wipe away the tears. Looking down at Logan, she felt a little more at peace telling him how she felt. She knew she would have to repeat herself once he woke up, but it would be worth it. Because she was all in. Seeing him lying in the hospital bed shook her to her core. He had to heal. He just had to.
Lobo Coffee House Love (The Wolves 0f Everett Hollow Book 2) Page 8
