This Family of Ours (Raine #6)

by Amanda Bennett

  While Madison and Glenn were still drivin’ down memory lane, I decided to go spend some time with KJ before it was time for me to leave. I was just about to knock on the door frame, as to not intrude on any conversation that her and Cami may be havin’, when my hand stopped in the air.

  “I’m afraid to even go to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, it’s all I can think about.” Kayla paused long enough for a sob to escape, and my heart began to break for her. In all the commotion and chaos, it never even crossed my mind that she would have some sort of PTSD, but I suppose it made perfect sense, given what her and Cami went through. I knew it wasn’t my best idea, but instead of goin’ in, I remained where I was and listened in a bit more.

  “Kay, if anyone understands what you’re goin’ through, it’s me. Since it all happened, I’ve had the worst nightmares. I wish there was somethin’ I could do for you. Nobody should have to go through what we did. At least you and the baby are physically fine though.”

  “Honestly it’s the only thing that gets me through the day.”

  “Maybe you should talk to someone about it? I actually spoke to Glenn about it when we were at the hospital yesterday and he agrees that we both need to talk about things to be able to get past it.”

  “I don’t know, Cam. I mean, I’ve tried to tell Madison how I’ve been feelin’, but he just keeps sidestepping it. He keeps tellin’ me that I’ll be fine, and that it’ll just take some time for me to get past it. Literally every time I bring it up, it’s like a wall goes up, and he just can’t fathom what happened.”

  “And maybe he can’t. You have to remember who Madison is at his core. He’s a protector. He’s the type of guy that would do anything and everything to protect his family, and Kayla, he wasn’t able to protect you this time, and I think that kills him. We’re not the only ones who were affected by this. I think maybe you need to cut the guy a break...just a small one.”

  Kayla let out a huff, and that’s when I took my chance and knocked on the doorframe. “Knock, knock. You ladies busy?” I inched my way into the room, hopin’ that they wouldn’t kick me out as quickly as I walked in.

  “Hey Jo.” Kayla looked up at me with the saddest eyes, and I quickly closed the distance between us, pullin’ her into a tight hug as I sat on the bed next to her.

  “KJ, are you ok?”

  She nodded into my shirt, that was now wet with the massive amount of tears she was sheddin’. “You don’t seem ok, sweetheart. Tell me what’s goin’ on?”

  Cami slowly pushed herself up and off of the bed as I continued to hold a very overwhelmed Kayla, “I’m gonna let you two talk for a bit. If y’all need anything, just let me know.”

  I nodded in Cami’s direction as I held Kayla against my body. “Talk to me, KJ.” I whispered in her ear.

  “It’s everything, Jo. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so overwhelmed. It’s like my life is spinning outta control and I don’t know which way is up or down.”

  My eyes fluttered shut as I took in a deep longing breath. My heart was breakin’ for Kayla, and I didn’t have a single clue as to how to fix it for her. Because even though I know she’s capable of doin’ things on her own, it was in my nature to help save the ones I love. I ran my hands up and down her back in a soothin’ motion, tryin’ to calm the tears that were racking her body, but nothin’ seemed to be helpin’.

  “I know it sounds cliche, but everything happens for a reason, love. Things will work themselves out, you just gotta give it time. It’s only been a couple of days and even though it seems as though your world is currently fallin’ apart, I know you. You’re one of, if not the strongest woman I have ever known. You’re gonna come out of this on the other side. I promise, KJ.”

  Kayla’s head moved to the crook of my neck, her arms wrappin’ even tighter around my midsection as I sat on the edge of her bed, holdin’ her as close and reassuringly as possible. It pained me to see her questionin’ herself, and the internal strength I knew she possessed.

  “I’ve missed you so much, Jo. You’re the one person in the world that gets me completely. I wish it were this easy with Madison.”

  I wanted to say somethin’ to defend Madison in a way that she and nobody else would ever expect, but I could sense that wasn’t exactly what she was wantin’ or needin’ from me at the moment. Knowin’ the way Kayla’s mind works, I knew I needed to change the subject, and fast.

  “So how’s that little nephew of mine doin’? I pulled away from Kayla just enough to rest my hands on her burgeoning belly.

  “Doin’ great. Well, at least that’s what the doctors say.” Her hands came to rest on mine as my head shot up in shock.

  “What was that?” My mouth fell open in disbelief as I continued to gawk at her.

  “That was your nephew sayin’ hello to their favorite Uncle Joey.”

  “No way.” I gasped as it happened it again. “That’s amazin’, weird for sure...but amazin’.”

  “I know, right? Even after bein’ pregnant with Mia and feelin’ it all the time, it still brings so much joy to me, almost as though I’m feelin’ it for the first time all over again.”

  The baby kicked one more time, and then seemed to fall back asleep. I slowly lowered my hand to my leg as I sought out Kayla’s direct gaze. “I’m so proud of you, KJ. I’m proud of the woman, the wife, and the mom you’ve become. Who would’ve thought that this shy and timid little thing from nowhere Arizona would blossom into this amazin’ human being? I mean, I knew you would, but I’m pretty sure you had your doubts.”

  “Tons of them.” She smiled.

  “God, I still remember the first day I met you. You were such a force to be reckoned with, even if you didn’t see it in yourself. Not only were you drop dead gorgeous, but you knew who you were and where you were goin’, and that, sweetheart, is what made you the sexiest woman I’d ever laid my eyes on. Still can’t get over the fact that you chose Madison over my animalistic sexiness that I exude on a constant basis, but hey. Can’t fault a guy for tryin’.” I joked, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she smiled. Not one of those half assed pity smiles either, it lit up her entire face, and that’s when I knew I had done my job.

  A small strand of her chocolate colored hair fell over her face and my hand flew out instinctively to push it back behind her ear. Her dainty hand caught mine, pullin’ it down to her luscious lips that were just waitin’ to press a chaste kiss against the palm of my hand before placin’ it against her chest, just above her heart. I could feel it practically racin’ to get out of her chest, and I couldn’t help but give myself a small pat on the back.

  “I need to tell you somethin’, Jo, and I need for you to be serious in this moment.” She looked up at me with a flicker of amusement, knowin’ how hard it is for me to be completely serious. I simply nodded, and she continued, “I need you to know that if there never was a Madison Raine, it would’ve been you...one hundred percent. You mean more to me than you’ll probably ever know, or that your brain could ever comprehend,” she laughed, “I will always be your KJ, and you’ll always be my Joey. I don’t know what I would be without our friendship, so I just need you to promise me one thing...”

  I was findin’ it hard to swallow past the lump in my throat, enough to answer her, but somehow I managed to find words. Not very many, but still some. “Anything, KJ. You know that?”

  She took in a deep breath, preparin’ herself for what she was about to say and suddenly I was extremely nervous, “Promise me that no matter what happens in this world or to me, that you’ll always be there for my kids and Madison?”

  I yanked my hand from her grasp faster than lightenin’, “What the hell, KJ. You dyin’ or somethin’. Because I really couldn’t handle that shit right now.”

  “No, no, oh my god no, Jo. Of course I’m not dyin’. I plan on bein’ here to annoy you for a very looooong time. I just need to know that you’ll always be here for me, and my family.”

  “Of c
ourse I will, KJ...always and forever.” When I saw relief wash over her face, then I went into my interrogation. “Why are you sayin’ all this now? You should know by now that I will always, no matter what, be here for you, for them, even for Madison.” I laughed.

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Maybe it’s just the whole, life’s too short shit everyone keeps spoutin’ at me. I would just feel horrible if god forbid somethin’ happened and we never had the chance to have this talk. That’s all.”

  I knew she could sense the trepidation in my tone, because she was once again wrappin’ those tiny little arms tightly around my neck. When she pulled back, her lips pressed gently against my cheek, and all felt right in the world again.

  “Now, could you do me another HUGE favor?”

  “Good god, woman. You sure do ask a lot of one man.” I laughed.

  “Can you please send my sister in?”

  “Now that favor I most definitely can do.” I pushed my hand back through her hair and pulled her head towards mine, pressing my lips against her porcelain lookin’ forehead. “I’ll make sure to come in and say good-bye before we leave.”

  “You better,” she chided as she slapped my ass as I walked out past her.

  Chapter 41

  Diem

  “What do you mean she asked you to come get me?” My brows were knit in confusion as Joey told me exactly what KJ had just told him mere minutes ago.

  “That’s exactly what I mean.” He teased. “She asked for me to send you in. I’m assumin’ she wants to speak with you.”

  I could feel my face go blank, and pale white. Never in a million years did I ever think that anything could terrify me more than the anticipation of what my big sister had to say to me. Joey’s arms instinctively wrapped around my waist, pullin’ me flush against him as his inviting lips pressed gently against my right temple. “You’ll be ok. I promise. The big bad wolf won’t eat ya.” He teased.

  My hand came up, lightly smacking Jo across the chest harder than either of us anticipated, “Bugger off, Joey Green. I don’t find you the least bit amusing.”

  “Don’t lie to yourself, sweetheart. I’m down right hilarious.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, you twat.” We both shared a laugh before our lips melded together for one last kiss.

  “Good luck.” He muttered as he smiled against my pouty lips, before pattin’ my ass as he ushered me towards the bedroom door.

  I was suddenly very aware of my surroundings, and every single person in the house. Luckily most of them had found their way out onto the back porch for some afternoon day drinking, and I suddenly found myself wishing I had taken Glenn up on his invitation to have a glass of wine with all of them. Bloody hell!

  I took in a deep breath, and then forced myself through the bloody doorway. When I saw the lines of dried mascara running down Kayla’s cheeks, and the flush that sat just below them, I nearly fell over. From the first time I met her, she’d always put off this strong persona, and to see her this way was terrible. I was just about to clear my throat to get her attention, when she looked up, right at me, and motioned for me to sit next to her on the bed. This was going to turn out horrible, I could feel it.

  “Thanks for coming.”

  I nodded in acknowledgment.

  “Not just for coming in here to talk to me, but for coming here in general. For bein’ there for Jo, and me, even though I’ve been a complete asshole since the day I met you, and I don’t deserve your kindness.”

  My shoulders fell in relief as I placed my hands around Kayla’s. “You don’t have to thank me.” I felt like a downright ass as she made me sound like a stuck up prissy thing. “I wanted to be here, Kayla.”

  “And I appreciate that, more than you know. Look, I know that whatever happened in the past isn’t your fault. I think it has just been easier to take it out on you because he’s not around, and I’m not gonna lie...it hurts somethin’ fierce. Knowin’ that you got to have him your entire life and I only got him for a handful of years. It kills me. I’m not a jealous person by nature, but jealousy has taken over every other emotion every time I see you. I don’t want to be jealous of you and the relationship you have with him, but I can’t help it. When I thought he left me because of my mother, I could deal with that, but knowin’ he left me for another family, a chance to do it right the second time, I died a little inside.”

  My heart began to break for Kayla and the relationship she longed for with our father. It’s not fair to any child to feel unloved and unwanted by a parent, and I wish I could understand what she was feeling, but given that my relationship with our father was one I cherished more than anything, I just couldn’t.

  “Kayla, I feel terrible. I need you to understand that had I known, I would’ve reached out to you sooner.” I briefly glanced up at Kayla to gauge her reaction to what I was saying.

  “I wish I could say that I understood, and that I was more than willin’ to forgive him, but he’s not who I’m worried about right now. I know you don’t know everything that has happened to me in my past, or even in the last few years, but I would really love it if we started fresh.” My head popped up in confusion and delight at the implication of possibly being able to have an actual relationship with my big sister. “I’m not sayin’ it’s gonna be easy by any means, but I would really like for us to have a relationship. I can’t guarantee that it’ll lead to me and our father makin’ amends, but life’s too short not to embrace the people you love the most, especially family.”

  “Are you certain?” Hope filled my heart and voice as I impatiently sat on the edge of the bed, awaiting her response.

  “Of course I’m certain. You’re my sister, and there’s nothin’ more I would like in this world than to have that sisterly bond that one hopes to have with their siblings.”

  Before Kayla could even finish her sentence, I was tenderly wrapping my arms around her, pullin’ her into a long overdue embrace. “You just made me the happiest person.” I whispered into her hair as tears began to steadily stream down my face.

  “I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel as if this whole situation was ever your fault.”

  “I would completely understand if that was how you felt. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling.” I pulled back and cupped Kayla’s face in my hands, “What he did is not ok, and I will never try and force you to forgive him, or even talk to him. Just know you will never get any pressure from me as far as that goes.”

  “I know you wouldn’t do that to me.” She smiled. “Oh...ow.” Kayla was reaching for her belly as she yelped in pain.

  “Oh my god, are you ok?” I was instantly on my feet right next to Kayla as she lay back against her mound of pillows that Madison insisted she lay against, fear apparent in my expression and tone of voice. “Should I call for Madison?”

  “No no, I’m fine. The baby just kicked, that’s all.” A wicked smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as we both broke out in a fit of laughter.

  “I seriously thought it was something serious.” I laughed.

  “Here,” Kayla reached for my hand before placing it gently onto her barely swollen stomach. “You feel that?”

  I nodded in awe as that tiny baby comfortably nestled in my sister’s belly began kicking at my hand. “Brilliant.” I whispered.

  “That’s your Aunt Diem, baby.”

  My heart swelled immensely as Kayla told her unborn baby that I was his aunt. I don’t think I’ve ever felt love the way I was feeling it in this exact moment. The force behind the movements of this tiny human growing inside of Kayla’s belly was mesmerizing, and I just couldn’t bring myself to move my hand and let this moment end. With the first kick, I instantly felt a connection with my sister that would forever bond us together, and one I wouldn’t soon forget.

  It must not have bothered Kayla, because not once did she ask me to remove my hand or even hint that maybe I should go. No, instead we sat there telling each other about our lives, well as much a
s we could talk about in the short amount of time I had left here. I made sure not to go into too much detail about our father because I really didn’t want to put her off so soon after she opened her heart to me.

  “I’m not sure if this is too weird a question, but I’d like to know how you and Joey met, and how you both ended up with the unbelievable bond you two have?”

  Kayla’s eyes slowly glanced up at mine, seeking out something, but I wasn’t quite sure what. “Well...I wish I could say that was an easy story to tell, but it’s a bit complicated and may take a bit of time to tell. Are you sure you’re ready for that?” She smiled, but I could tell she was hinting at something I may or may not want to hear.

  “Yes, I am.” I gave her a reassuring smile before returning my gaze back to her burgeoning belly.

  “It’s actually a funny story. I’ll skip through all the drama of what was going on with Madison and I at that time. That’s definitely a story for another time.” She smirked, and I instantly knew it wasn’t a cheeky story. “So I could’ve sworn I saw Glenn, Joey’s brother, walking around town that day and because of the drama I glossed over before, I really didn’t want to see him. So needless to say when I came barreling out of the store later that day, I wasn’t really payin’ attention, and I literally ran right into Joey. He caught me from fallin’ flat on my face, and when it first happened, I could’ve sworn it was Glenn. It’s crazy how much they used to look alike,” we both laughed, “Because of the situation with Madison, I didn’t really hang around long enough to find out who he was. I just ran away. I honestly thought I’d never see him again, but then my first day of school, I ended up running into him again. We’ve been inseparable ever since.”