by Krystle Rose
While this Joe Schmo was, indeed, hot, the idea of entering into another relationship right now made her nauseous. Nomi still wasn’t prepared to give being a girlfriend another go and, honestly, she’d been so busy planning for her future career that she still hadn’t given herself time to truly reflect on her past relationships and make a plan for better ones. There was still a lot of work to be done in that arena and she simply wasn’t ready to delve into that emotional mess at the moment.
Not interested, Nomi wrote her friend back.
As soon as she tossed the phone down onto her bed, it started ringing. Nomi stopped and turned back toward the device. Looking down at the screen, she saw that her gal pal was now calling. Giving up, Nomi collapsed onto the mattress and slid the answer key.
“Hello?”
“Are you kidding me? He’s gorg!” Jenna shouted into the receiver.
Holding it away from her ear to avoid being screamed at, Nomi waited for her cohort to finish her rant.
“What is the matter with you?”
“Like I said,” Nomi divulged, “I’m just not interested.”
“Is your vagina dead or something?”
“Ohmigod, Jenna,” she groaned with mortification.
“It’s been months since your break up. Time to get back on the horse,” her friend instructed her. In a lower tone, she tacked on, “And trust me, he would be as big as one.”
“Jenna!”
“What? My libido is alive and well.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“Using fancy words now, are we? Really living the full prude lifestyle, I see.”
Jenna was as blunt and uncaring as they came. Her honesty was why Nomi loved her, though. Her candor came from a good place and, in this instance, it was simply to mask the fact that she was worried for Nomi.
“I’m doing perfectly fine on my own,” she assured Jenna. "I'm taking a much-needed sabbatical from dating."
"You brave, brave soul. I don't know how I'd function without getting laid once in a while. It's like I need some sex to rattle my brain and keep in functioning."
"You know there are gadgets for that. You don't need a man."
"Come on, Nomi, you know me. I need the real deal. I'm a grown-ass woman, I no longer play with toys," she said with sass.
Nomi smacked her palm against her forehead and laughed. She truly had a wicked mouth on her. Once her giggling fit was contained, Nomi rejoined the conversation with Jenna.
"How do you even find time around your school schedule and work?"
"Trust me, I make time," she promised her friend. Then she sighed heavily and confessed, "But I am exhausted."
"You are quite the busy girl-- sorry --woman," Nomi teased.
"I'll be glad for winter break, but then I'll have my nose hard pressed to the books, studying for finals when I get back. It's endless."
"Will you be coming home for the holidays?"
"Of course I am. My mother would kill me if I didn't spend Hanukkah with the family."
"I know the feeling. I just did Thanksgiving with Aunt Linda and Uncle Terry. It was awful, but so long as I live under this roof, I must abide by these rules," she said in an authoritative tone.
Jenna snickered and replied, "So when are you moving out?"
"Hopefully by next year. I've got big plans in the works and that's high on my list of priorities."
"Maybe if you find yourself a good man, you can kill two birds with one stone and move in with him. Shacking up and moving out, it's a good plan," her friend offered.
"Jesus, Jenna, give it a rest. I'm single and not ready to mingle. I want to learn how to love myself."
"Damn. Bold. I like it. Okay, Nomi, I'm on board."
"Finally. Thank you."
"Well, I've got to go, but call me later, 'kay?"
Nomi agreed and ended the call, then rolled off the mattress and went back to what she was doing. Going to the closet, she opened it and looked across the rack of clothes hanging inside. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her gumption. It was time to upgrade her wardrobe.
∞∞∞
When she showed up at Margo’s in a new outfit, very different from what she normally wore, the woman took notice. She gave her new assistant a long, tentative once over before commenting on the change in appearance. Nomi did a proud little spin to show off her attire and grinned.
She was known to wear jeans and baggy sweaters or old, frayed shorts and band shirts. Nomi often chose comfort over style. Dressing up meant clean leggings and a fitted top, with boots that weren’t covered in mud. Although that type of clothing appealed to her more practical side, she was ready to start showing the world her more grown-up side. Her thoughts were that if she exuded confidence, then maybe she’d start feeling confident, in turn. Plus, if she wanted a change in her life, this was a good place to start.
So, today she was sporting a pair of gray slacks and a nice red turtleneck, with some dress boots instead of combat boots. Her hair was down, around her shoulders in a heap of brown waves and she was wearing makeup for the first time in ages.
“What’s the occasion?” Margo asked, moving aside to let her in.
Nomi strode inside and removed her heavy outer coat, then hung in on the hall tree just inside the door. Turning back to her boss, she tilted her chin high and explained, “I got a whole new wardrobe.”
“Is that where all your hard-earned money went?”
“No,” Nomi promised. “I traded in my old clothes for credit toward new ones at a recycled clothing store. What do you think?”
“You look great,” another voice said from behind her.
How had she not noticed Owen’s car in the driveway? Maybe he had parked inside the garage. Regardless, the fact was he was here and she’d have to figure out how to react to that fairly quickly.
“Thanks,” she said shyly.
“I’m inclined to agree. Lovely,” Margo praised her.
Nomi blushed at both their compliments and naturally, tried to cover herself by wrapping her arms around her waist. Seeing her discomfort, Margo elbowed her grandson and gave him a look that said, Do something. But before he could react, Nomi cleared her throat and attempted to take control of the situation.
“I’ll get started on your laundry right now.”
“Wonderful. Owen just started a fire in the den, why don’t you relax in there while the clothes are washing? I’m making pies as gifts for Christmas, so you can find me in the kitchen if you need anything.”
“Great. Thank you.”
Then she edged past Owen, into the hall and headed toward the master suite.
Margo couldn’t carry the basket of clothing through the house, so Nomi had to bring it into the laundry room for cleaning, fold it, and take it all back to the bedroom when it was finished. Only, this time, as she made her way into the suite, she wasn’t alone. She could feel Owen close at her heels.
Even though he had mentioned they’d talk soon, after their last interaction, that hadn’t happened. He hadn’t even hung out with Canaan lately, which was strange, but somehow a relief to Nomi because being around him lately seemed to do funny things to her insides. Seeing him here now made her extremely uncomfortable all over again.
“Here, let me,” he offered, taking the laundry basket from the floor.
Nomi said nothing and allowed him to carry the load down the corridor. He went out ahead of her and, unlike him, she allowed some distance between them. Still, she did have to join him in the small room designated strictly for the washer and dryer. That thought alone made her stomach do somersaults.
He set the basket down in front of the washing machine and backed away, allowing for Nomi to enter the room. She opened the door to the machine and started to separate the clothing without saying a word.
“So,” Owen said uneasily, “you guys going to Grandma Jane’s for Christmas?”
“Grandma Jane died in February,” she answered briskly.
“Shit,” he curse
d. “Sorry, I forgot.”
Even from the corner of her eye, she could see Owen’s discomfort. He was shifting awkwardly in the background, rocking on his heels and sending a nervous hand through his wavy blond hair. Nomi was feeling just as anxious, but at least she was doing a better job of hiding it. She did feel bad for him, though. He was trying to be nice and Nomi wasn’t making it very easy for him.
“We’re going to the cabin this year,” she told him.
Her family co-owned a vacation property in Tahoe, which she never understood the purpose of. They rarely used it and why they would trade one cold, snowy location for another was beyond her. Given a choice, Nomi wouldn’t be going. She’d rather stay in her own, comfortable house, in pajamas, cuddling with a blanket by the fire, but as she was always reminded, if she lived in her parents’ house, she lived by their rules. What they said, went, and if they wanted to drive four hours in bad weather to spend a weekend in the coldest part of the state, then that’s what Nomi was expected to do.
"That sounds… nice."
"No it doesn't," she scoffed as she loaded the dark clothes into the washer. "How about you?"
"My folks are going to Oregon to visit some family. I'm going to stay here with Nan and my Aunt Polly."
"That's nice."
Adding the soap and fabric softener, she pressed a button to start the load. Facing Owen again, she paused. Was she supposed to say something else?
"Uh, the den's this way," he directed, waving her back out of the room.
Nomi hadn't had a true tour of the house, so she took in her surroundings as they walked toward the back of the house. On their way, they passed by the master suite, the bathroom, a guest bedroom, and a row of built-in cupboards. The hallway ended at the open entry to the den. It was a large area, with a solid brick wall covering one side where the fireplace was. The rest of the room was painted white and burgundy furniture was positioned carefully within the space.
Owen pointed toward the leather sofa and directed her to have a seat. Then he bent to stoke the fire. Tucking her feet under her bum, Nomi sat down into the corner of the couch and settled her hands in her lap.
"Here," Owen offered, coming to a stand again.
He went to a nearby accent chair and retrieved a blanket from the back of it. Bringing it to Nomi, he carefully laid it across her legs. She felt the urge to both slap his hands away in defense and grab them to pull him down next to her. Obviously, she needed to work harder at tamping down her feelings towards him.
"I'll let you do… whatever it is you do while you wait for the laundry," Owen laughed lightly.
He slapped his thighs and started toward the exit.
"Are you helping your Nan with her pie?"
Why did that sound so incredibly awkward? If it didn't embarrass her more, Nomi would have smacked her palm against her forehead.
"No," he chuckled. "I'd ruin them if I tried."
He inched closer and explained, "I came by to move some boxes into the garage for her. She's trying to reduce clutter."
"Got it. That's nice of you."
"Well, I love my Nan, so," Owen shrugged.
Nomi searched the room as if she'd find something else to talk about hidden in the environment. When she came up empty-handed, she cleared her throat and wring her hands together in her lap.
"So, you're, erm, heading out now?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Oh. Okay."
"Did you need something?" He queried, instantly concerned.
"No, no," she assured him. "I just haven't hung out with anyone outside of home or work in awhile. The company is… nice."
"You've been busy, huh?"
"Between my job, the holidays, and helping Margo, yes,” she siad with a heavy breath.
Owen smiled crookedly and walked back toward her. Nomi clutched the blanket closer as if it would protect her. He sat down at the other end of the couch and lounged over the worn arm casually. Something about the way he so comfortably spread his knees wide and leaned back had Nomi wondering if he had only been acting strangely before because she had been. Now he appeared at ease as he stared into the orange flames that lapped at charred logs in the fireplace.
"Why the second job?" He questioned.
"I need the money."
"What for?"
"You really do have the worst memory," Nomi snuffled.
"Your sex strike? What, are you saving money for a party at the end or something?"
"Well, at least you heard part of what I told you," Nomi allowed. "But of course, after you heard "sex" the rest of the conversation faded away."
"Give me a break, I'm a dude."
"Clearly."
Oops. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. Nomi was thinking it; thinking about how there was absolutely no denying the fact that Owen Blankfield was one hundred percent sexy, charming, arrogant maleness, but she didn't mean to admit that verbally.
Owen cocked a brow at her and let that sink in. When next he spoke, he asked of her, "Tell me again. I'm all ears, I promise."
Nomi glared at him, but he kept a straight face. He was serious. Taking a big inhale, she debated on telling him everything. He might think she was silly or reaching, maybe. And for some reason, his opinion mattered to her. If Owen called her crazy or stupid, she might not ever recover, and seeing him after that would be difficult. And she would most certainly see him again since he was her brother's best friend.
"As I told you before, I want to use this time to get my life in order. I want to move out, start my career, figure out what I want in a relationship, the whole shebang."
"Jesus. I thought going without getting laid would be hard enough -- no pun intended -- but then you're also working on all that, to boot? You are one sadistic woman, Nomi."
He'd called her a woman. He had never called her that. Being younger than both him and Canaan had coined her names like "kid" or "baby" or "little girl". Yet, here Owen was referring to her as an adult, albeit sadistic, woman. Nomi would take the compliment among the teasing words.
"Anyway," she diverted, "the money is for my future endeavors. I'd like to own my own restaurant someday."
"So, on top of all that, you're working on trying to start a business? Wow."
"I can handle it."
"I have no doubts as to what you can handle," Owen replied gruffly.
That raspy voice had her chest tickling with intrigue. Nomi looked across at him to find that Owen's eyes were assessing her firmly. He was curious what her reaction to his words would be and she was doing her best to play it cool, but she felt more transparent than ever.
"Where have you been?" She found herself demanding in a breathy voice.
"What do you mean?"
"You haven't been around lately. I haven't seen you since before Thanksgiving. Canaan's been worried."
"Canaan has been worried?" He repeated, unconvinced.
Yep, he was definitely seeing right through her.
“Well, tell Canaan not to be concerned. I’ve just been a loner lately.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I guess I just wanted some time to myself.”
He was lying and she knew it. Owen always did this funny thing where he scratched behind his ear and averted his eyes whenever he was fibbing. Just like he was doing right then.
"Mm-hmm," she mumbled. "Because of me?"
He speared her with a stern gaze.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Nomi."
"That's not what I asked."
He stared at her for a long time, saying nothing, the reflection of the fire dancing in his eyes. Nomi felt as though she couldn't breathe. Never in her life had she been brave enough to say what she was thinking to a man. For reasons unknown to her, Nomi felt braver with Owen. Maybe because she had known him for so long or perhaps it was because she felt that she had nothing to lose. Either way, there was no taking the words back once they were out of her mouth.
“Last time
we spoke, you said we’d talk soon. That never happened. You just… disappeared. Now you’re avoiding both me and my brother and acting strange.”
"Maybe," he admitted, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Maybe I was secluding myself from you, it’s true.”
“Why?” she whined.
“I think you know why.”
Owen waited for her reaction. Nomi blinked at him with surprise.
She did know why. Although their most recent interactions hadn’t been explosive or anything, there was definitely an increasing amount of chemistry brewing that neither of them could deny.
"I'm sorry. I didn’t realize that I made you feel… any sort of way."
"Don't apologize."
"I feel like I need to," she quarreled.
"Then I should, too," he argued in turn. Launching off the sofa, Owen began to pace the floor in front of her. "I'm sorry I've been distant. And I'm sorry I made you feel like it was your fault."
"But it is, isn't it? Whatever is happening, it's because of me."
"It's because of me," he snarled. “What’s happening has got me all messed up. I needed time to process that, to figure out what to do about it.”
He didn’t need to explain what ‘it’ was. It seemed pretty obvious to her. Nomi’s breath left her chest and her head throbbed. She was having trouble processing all of this, too, and she wanted to run away. Actually, that’s what she’s wanted to do since she first started developing feelings for Owen. It didn’t seem fair that she was upset with him for treating it the same way she had. Nomi was about to tell him that, when Owen added his own statement instead.
"Damnit, Nomi, you're like a sister to me."
His words crushed her. Her mouth fell agape and she wanted to cringe, but, from down the hall, the buzzer on the washing machine let out an announcement that the load was finished. Owen stopped, locked eyes with Nomi, and wordlessly asked her to respond. But she didn't have the words. She simply stood, dropped the blanket to the couch, and said toward the ground, "I should get that."
She hurried out of the room and disappeared down the hall. Taking refuge in the safety of the laundry room, Nomi caught her breath. After changing the clothes over, she sluggishly headed back to the den. But, by the time she returned, Owen was already gone.
